days of our boyish affection。 So it was time alone that initiated me
into the meaning of the events and facts that were crowded into that
obscure life； as into that of many another man who is lost to science。
Indeed； this narrative； so far as the expression and appreciation of
many things is concerned； will be found full of what may be termed
moral anachronisms； which perhaps will not detract from its peculiar
interest。
In the course of the first few months after coming to Vendome； Louis
became the victim of a malady which； though the symptoms were
invisible to the eye of our superiors； considerably interfered with
the exercise of his remarkable gifts。 Accustomed to live in the open
air； and to the freedom of a purely haphazard education； happy in the
tender care of an old man who was devoted to him； used to meditating
in the sunshine； he found it very hard to submit to college rules； to
walk in the ranks； to live within the four walls of a room where
eighty boys were sitting in silence on wooden forms each in front of
his desk。 His senses were developed to such perfection as gave them
the most sensitive keenness； and every part of him suffered from this
life in common。
The effluvia that vitiated the air； mingled with the odors of a
classroom that was never clean； nor free from the fragments of our
breakfasts or snacks； affected his sense of smell； the sense which；
being more immediately connected than the others with the nerve…
centers of the brain； must； when shocked； cause invisible disturbance
to the organs of thought。
Besides these elements of impurity in the atmosphere； there were
lockers in the classrooms in which the boys kept their miscellaneous
plunderpigeons killed for fete days； or tidbits filched from the
dinner…table。 In each classroom； too； there was a large stone slab； on
which two pails full of water were kept standing； a sort of sink；
where we every morning washed our faces and hands； one after another；
in the master's presence。 We then passed on to a table； where women
combed and powdered our hair。 Thus the place； being cleaned but once a
day before we were up； was always more or less dirty。 In spite of
numerous windows and lofty doors； the air was constantly fouled by the
smells from the washing…place； the hairdressing； the lockers； and the
thousand messes made by the boys； to say nothing of their eighty
closely packed bodies。 And this sort of /humus/； mingling with the mud
we brought in from the playing…yard； produced a suffocatingly
pestilent muck…heap。
The loss of the fresh and fragrant country air in which he had
hitherto lived； the change of habits and strict discipline； combined
to depress Lambert。 With his elbow on his desk and his head supported
on his left hand； he spent the hours of study gazing at the trees in
the court or the clouds in the sky； he seemed to be thinking of his
lessons； but the master； seeing his pen motionless； or the sheet
before him still a blank； would call out：
〃Lambert； you are doing nothing！〃
This 〃/you are doing nothing/！〃 was a pin…thrust that wounded Louis to
the quick。 And then he never earned the rest of the play…time； he
always had impositions to write。 The imposition； a punishment which
varies according to the practice of different schools； consisted at
Vendome of a certain number of lines to be written out in play hours。
Lambert and I were so overpowered with impositions； that we had not
six free days during the two years of our school friendship。 But for
the books we took out of the library； which maintained some vitality
in our brains； this system of discipline would have reduced us to
idiotcy。 Want of exercise is fatal to children。 The habit of
preserving a dignified appearance； begun in tender infancy； has； it is
said； a visible effect on the constitution of royal personages when
the faults of such an education are not counteracted by the life of
the battle…field or the laborious sport of hunting。 And if the laws of
etiquette and Court manners can act on the spinal marrow to such an
extent as to affect the pelvis of kings； to soften their cerebral
tissue； and so degenerate the race； what deep…seated mischief；
physical and moral； must result in schoolboys from the constant lack
of air； exercise； and cheerfulness！
Indeed； the rules of punishment carried out in schools deserve the
attention of the Office of Public Instruction when any thinkers are to
be found there who do not think exclusively of themselves。
We incurred the infliction of an imposition in a thousand ways。 Our
memory was so good that we never learned a lesson。 It was enough for
either of us to hear our class…fellows repeat the task in French；
Latin； or grammar； and we could say it when our turn came； but if the
master； unfortunately； took it into his head to reverse the usual
order and call upon us first； we very often did not even know what the
lesson was； then the imposition fell in spite of our most ingenious
excuses。 Then we always put off writing our exercises till the last
moment； if there were a book to be finished； or if we were lost in
thought； the task was forgottenagain an imposition。 How often have
we scribbled an exercise during the time when the head…boy； whose
business it was to collect them when we came into school； was
gathering them from the others！
In addition to the moral misery which Lambert went through in trying
to acclimatize himself to college life； there was a scarcely less
cruel apprenticeship through which every boy had to pass： to those
bodily sufferings which seemed infinitely varied。 The tenderness of a
child's skin needs extreme care； especially in winter； when a school…
boy is constantly exchanging the frozen air of the muddy playing…yard
for the stuffy atmosphere of the classroom。 The 〃little boys〃 and the
smallest of all； for lack of a mother's care； were martyrs to
chilblains and chaps so severe that they had to be regularly dressed
during the breakfast hour； but this could only be very indifferently
done to so many damaged hands； toes； and heels。 A good many of the
boys indeed were obliged to prefer the evil to the remedy； the choice
constantly lay between their lessons waiting to be finished or the
joys of a slide； and waiting for a bandage carelessly put on； and
still more carelessly cast off again。 Also it was the fashion in the
school to gibe at the poor； feeble creatures who went to be doctored；
the bullies vied with each other in snatching off the rags which the
infirmary nurse had tied on。 Hence； in winter； many of us； with half…
dead feet and fingers； sick with pain； were incapable of work； and
punished for not working。 The Fathers； too often deluded by shammed
ailments； would not believe in real suffering。
The price paid for our schooling and board also covered the cost of
clothing。 The committee contracted for the shoes and clothes supplied
to the boys； hence the weekly inspection of which I have spoken。 This
plan； though admirable for the manager； is always disastrous to the
managed。 Woe to the boy who indulged in the bad habit of treading his
shoes down at heel； of cracking the shoe…leather； or wearing out the
soles too fast； whether from a defect in his gait； or by fidgeting
during lessons in obedience to the instinctive need of movement common
to all children。 That boy did not get through the winter without great
suffering。 In the first place； his chilblains would ache and shot as
badly as a fit of the gout； then the rivets and pack…thread intended
to repair the shoes would give way； or the broken heels would prevent
the wretched shoes from keeping on his feet； he was obliged to drag
them wearily along the frozen roads； or sometimes to dispute their
possession with the clay soil of the district； the water and snow got
in through some unnoticed crack or ill…sewn patch； and the foot would
swell。
Out of sixty boys； not ten perhaps could walk without some special
form of torture； and yet they all kept up with the body of the troop；
dragged on by the general movement； as men are driven through life by
life itself。 Many a time some proud…tempered boy would shed tears of
rage while summoning his remaining energy to run ahead and get home
again in spite of pain； so sensitively afraid of laughter or of pity
two forms of scornis the still tender soul at that age。
At school； as in social life； the strong despise the feeble without
knowing in what true strength consists。
Nor was this all。 No gloves。 If by good hap a boy's parents； the
infirmary nurse； or the headmaster gave gloves to a particularly
delicate lad； the wags or the big boys of the class would put them on
the stove； amused to see them dry and shrivel； or if the gloves
escaped the marauders； after getting wet they shrunk as they dried for
want of care。 No； gloves were impossible。 Gloves were a privilege； and
boys insist on equality。
Louis Lambert fell a victim to all these varieties of torment。 Like
many contemplative men； who； when lost in thought； acquire a habit of
mechanical motion； he had a mania for fidgeting with his shoes； and
destroyed them very quickly。 His girlish complexion； the skin of his
ears and lips； cracked with the least cold。 His soft； white hands grew
red and swollen。 He had perpetual colds。 Thus he was a constant
sufferer till he became inured to school…life。 Taught at last by cruel
experience； he was obliged to 〃look after his things；〃 to use the
school phrase。 He was forced to take care of his locker； his desk； his
clothes； his shoes； to protect his ink； his books； his copy…paper； and
his pens from pilferers； in short； to give his mind to the thousand
details of our trivial life； to which more selfish and commonplace
minds devoted such strict attentionthus infallibly securing prizes
for 〃proficiency〃 and 〃good conduct〃while they were overlooked by a
boy of the highest promise； who； under the hand of an almost divine
imagination； gave himself up with rapture to the flow of his ideas。
This was not all。 There is a perpetual struggle going on between the
masters and the boys； a struggle without truce； to be compared with
nothing else in the social world； unless it be the resistance of the
opposition to the ministry