the island pharisees- 第13部分

cigarette。　　〃When　you've　starved　a　few　times；　your　eyes　are　opened。

'Savoir；　c'est　mon　metier；　mais　remarquez　ceci；　monsieur'：　It　's　not

always　the　intellectuals　who　succeed。〃



〃When　you　get　a　job；〃　said　Shelton；　〃you　throw　it　away；　I　suppose。〃



〃You　accuse　me　of　restlessness？　　Shall　I　explain　what　I　think　about

that？　　I'm　restless　because　of　ambition；　I　want　to　reconquer　an

independent　position。　　I　put　all　my　soul　into　my　trials；　but　as　soon

as　I　see　there's　no　future　for　me　in　that　line；　I　give　it　up　and　go

elsewhere。　　'Je　ne　veux　pas　etre　rond　de　cuir；'　breaking　my　back　to

economise　sixpence　a　day；　and　save　enough　after　forty　years　to　drag

out　the　remains　of　an　exhausted　existence。　　That's　not　in　my

character。〃　　This　ingenious　paraphrase　of　the　words　〃I　soon　get　tired

of　things〃　he　pronounced　with　an　air　of　letting　Shelton　into　a

precious　secret。



〃Yes；　it　must　be　hard；〃　agreed　the　latter。



Ferrand　shrugged　his　shoulders。



〃It's　not　all　butter；〃　he　replied；　〃one　is　obliged　to　do　things　that

are　not　too　delicate。　　There's　nothing　I　pride　myself　on　but

frankness。〃



Like　a　good　chemist；　however；　he　administered　what　Shelton　could

stand　in　a　judicious　way。　　〃Yes；　yes；〃　he　seemed　to　say；　〃you'd　like

me　to　think　that　you　have　a　perfect　knowledge　of　life：　no　morality；

no　prejudices；　no　illusions；　you'd　like　me　to　think　that　you　feel

yourself　on　an　equality　with　me；　one　human　animal　talking　to　another；

without　any　barriers　of　position；　money；　clothes；　or　the　rest'ca

c'est　un　peu　trop　fort'！　　You're　as　good　an　imitation　as　I　've　come

across　in　your　class；　notwithstanding　your　unfortunate　education；　and

I　'm　grateful　to　you；　but　to　tell　you　everything；　as　it　passes

through　my　mind　would　damage　my　prospects。　　You　can　hardly　expect

that。〃



In　one　of　Shelton's　old　frock…coats　he　was　impressive；　with　his　air

of　natural；　almost　sensitive　refinement。　　The　room　looked　as　if　it

were　accustomed　to　him；　and　more　amazing　still　was　the　sense　of

familiarity　that　he　inspired；　as；　though　he　were　a　part　of　Shelton's

soul。　　It　came　as　a　shock　to　realise　that　this　young　foreign　vagabond

had　taken　such　a　place　within　his　thoughts。　　The　pose　of　his　limbs

and　head；　irregular　but　not　ungraceful；　his　disillusioned　lips；　the

rings　of　smoke　that　issued　from　themall　signified　rebellion；　and

the　overthrow　of　law　and　order。　　His　thin；　lopsided　nose；　the　rapid

glances　of　his　goggling；　prominent　eyes；　were　subtlety　itself；　he

stood　for　discontent　with　the　accepted。



〃How　do　I　live　when　I　am　on　the　tramp？〃　he　said。　　〃well；　there　are

the　consuls。　　The　system　is　not　delicate；　but　when　it's　a　question　of

starving；　much　is　permissible；　besides；　these　gentlemen　were　created

for　the　purpose。　　There's　a　coterie　of　German　Jews　in　Paris　living

entirely　upon　consuls。〃　　He　hesitated　for　the　fraction　of　a　second；

and　resumed：　〃Yes；　monsieur；　if　you　have　papers　that　fit　you；　you　can

try　six　or　seven　consuls　in　a　single　town。　　You　must　know　a　language

or　two；　but　most　of　these　gentlemen　are　not　too　well　up　in　the

tongues　of　the　country　they　represent。　　Obtaining　money　under　false

pretences？　　Well；　it　is。　　But　what's　the　difference　at　bottom　between

all　this　honourable　crowd　of　directors；　fashionable　physicians；

employers　of　labour；　ferry…builders；　military　men；　country　priests；

and　consuls　themselves　perhaps；　who　take　money　and　give　no　value　for

it；　and　poor　devils　who　do　the　same　at　far　greater　risk？　　Necessity

makes　the　law。　　If　those　gentlemen　were　in　my　position；　do　you　think

that　they　would　hesitate？〃



Shelton's　face　remaining　doubtful；　Ferrand　went　on　instantly：　〃You're

right；　they　would；　from　fear；　not　principle。　　One　must　be　hard

pressed　before　committing　these　indelicacies。　　Look　deep　enough；　and

you　will　see　what　indelicate　things　are　daily　done　by　the　respectable

for　not　half　so　good　a　reason　as　the　want　of　meals。〃



Shelton　also　took　a　cigarettehis　own　income　was　derived　from

property　for　which　he　gave　no　value　in　labour。



〃I　can　give　you　an　instance；〃　said　Ferrand；　〃of　what　can　be　done　by

resolution。　　One　day　in　a　German　town；　'etant　dans　la　misere'；　I

decided　to　try　the　French　consul。　　Well；　as　you　know；　I　am　a　Fleming；

but　something　had　to　be　screwed　out　somewhere。　　He　refused　to　see　me；

I　sat　down　to　wait。　　After　about　two　hours　a　voice　bellowed：　'Has　n't

the　brute　gone？'　and　my　consul　appears。　　'I　've　nothing　for　fellows

like　you；'　says　he；　'clear　out！'



〃'Monsieur；'　I　answered；　'I　am　skin　and　bone；　I　really　must　have

assistance。'



〃'Clear　out；'　he　says；　'or　the　police　shall　throw　you　out！'



〃I　don't　budge。　　Another　hour　passes；　and　back　he　comes　again。



〃'Still　here？'　says　he。　　'Fetch　a　sergeant。'



〃The　sergeant　comes。



〃'Sergeant；'　says　the　consul；　'turn　this　creature　out。'



〃'Sergeant；'　I　say；　'this　house　is　France！'　　Naturally；　I　had

calculated　upon　that。　　In　Germany　they're　not　too　fond　of　those　who

undertake　the　business　of　the　French。



〃'He　is　right；'　says　the　sergeant；　'I　can　do　nothing。'



〃'You　refuse？'



〃'Absolutely。'　And　he　went　away。



〃'What　do　you　think　you'll　get　by　staying？'　says　my　consul。



〃'I　have　nothing　to　eat　or　drink；　and　nowhere　to　sleep；'　says　I。



〃'What　will　you　go　for？'



〃'Ten　marks。'



〃'Here；　then；　get　out！'　I　can　tell　you；　monsieur；　one　must　n't　have　a

thin　skin　if　one　wants　to　exploit　consuls。〃



His　yellow　fingers　slowly　rolled　the　stump　of　his　cigarette；　his

ironical　lips　flickered。　　Shelton　thought　of　his　own　ignorance　of

life。　　He　could　not　recollect　ever　having　gone　without　a　meal。



〃I　suppose；〃　he　said　feebly；　〃you've　often　starved。〃　　For；　having

always　been　so　well　fed；　the　idea　of　starvation　was　attractive。



Ferrand　smiled。



〃Four　days　is　the　longest；〃　said　he。　　〃You　won't　believe　that　story。

。　　。　　。　　It　was　in　Paris；　and　I　had　lost　my　money　on　the　race…course。

There　was　some　due　from　home　which　didn't　come。　　Four　days　and　nights

I　lived　on　water。　　My　clothes　were　excellent；　and　I　had　jewellery；

but　I　never　even　thought　of　pawning　them。　　I　suffered　most　from　the

notion　that　people　might　guess　my　state。　　You　don't　recognise　me

now？〃



〃How　old　were　you　then？〃　said　Shelton。



〃Seventeen；　it's　curious　what　one's　like　at　that　age。



By　a　flash　of　insight　Shelton　saw　the　well…dressed　boy；　with

sensitive；　smooth　face；　always　on　the　move　about　the　streets　of

Paris；　for　fear　that　people　should　observe　the　condition　of　his

stomach。　　The　story　was　a　valuable　commentary。　　His　thoughts　were

brusquely　interrupted；　looking　in　Ferrand's　face；　he　saw　to　his

dismay　tears　rolling　down　his　cheeks。



〃I　've　suffered　too　much；〃　he　stammered；　〃what　do　I　care　now　what

becomes　of　me？〃



Shelton　was　disconcerted；　he　wished　'to　say　something　sympathetic；

but；　being　an　Englishman；　could　only　turn　away　his　eyes。



〃Your　turn　's　coming；〃　he　said　at　last。



〃Ah！　when　you've　lived　my　life；〃　broke　out　his　visitor；　〃nothing　's

any　good。　　My　heart's　in　rags。　　Find　me　anything　worth　keeping；　in

this　menagerie。〃



Moved　though　he　was；　Shelton　wriggled　in　his　chair；　a　prey　to　racial

instinct；　to　an　ingrained　over…tenderness；　perhaps；　of　soul　that

forbade　him　from　exposing　his　emotions；　and　recoiled　from　the

revelation　of　other　people's。　　He　could　stand　it　on　the　stage；　he

could　stand　it　in　a　book；　but　in　real　life　he　could　not　stand　it。

When　Ferrand　had　gone　off　with　a　portmanteau　in　each　hand；　he　sat

down　and　told　Antonia：



。　　。　　。　　The　poor　chap　broke　down　and　sat　crying　like　a　child；　and

instead　of　making　me　feel　sorry；　it　turned　me　into　stone。　　The　more

sympathetic　I　wanted　to　be；　the　gruffer　I　grew。　　Is　it　fear　of

ridicule；　independence；　or　consideration；　for　others　that　prevents

one　from　showing　one's　feelings？



He　went　on　to　tell　her　of　Ferrand's　starving　four　days　sooner　than

face　a　pawnbroker；　and；　reading　the　letter　over　before　addressing　it；

the　faces　of　the　three　ladies　round　their　snowy　cloth　arose　before

himAntonia's　face；　so　fair　and　calm　and　wind…fresh；　her　mother's

face；　a　little　creased　by　time　and　weather；　the　maiden　aunt's

somewhat　too　thin…and　they　seemed　to　lean　at　him；　alert　and　decorous；

and　the　words　〃That's　rather　nice！〃　rang　in　his　ears。　　He　went　out　to

post　the　letter；　and　buying　a　five…shilling　order　enclosed　it　to　the

little　barber；　Carolan；　as　a　reward　for　delivering　his　note　to

Ferrand。　　He　omitted　to　send　his　address　with　this　donation；　but

whether　from　delicacy　or　from　caution　he　could　not　have　said。　　Beyond

doubt；　however；　on　receiving　through　Ferrand　the　following　reply；　he

felt　ashamed　and　pleased



3；　BLANK　Row；

WESTMINSTER。



》From　every　well…born　soul　humanity　is　owing。　　A　thousand　thanks。　　I

received　this　morning　your　postal　order；　your　heart　henceforth　for　me

will　be　placed　beyond　all　praise。



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　J。　　CAROLAN。









CHAPTER　XI



THE　VISION



A　few　days　later　he　received　a　letter　from　Antonia　which　filled　him

with　excitement：



。　　。　　。　　Aunt　Charlotte　is　ever　so　much　better；　so　mother　thinks　we

can　go　home…hurrah！　　But　she　says　that　you　and　I　must　keep　to　our

arrangement　not　to　see　each　other　till　July。　　There　will　be　something

fine　in　being　so　near　and　having　the　strength　to　keep　apart　。　　。　　。

All　the　English　are　gone。　　I　feel　it　so　empty　out　here；　these　people

are　so　funny…all　foreign　and　shallow。　　Oh；　Dick！　　how　splendid　to

have　an　ideal　to　look　up　to！　　Write　at　once　to　Brewer's　Hotel　and

tell　me　you　think　the　same　。　　。　　。　　。　　We　arrive　at　Charing　Cross　on

Sunday　at　half…past　seven；　stay　at　Brewer's　for　a　couple　of　nights；

and　go　down　on　Tuesday　to　Holm　Oaks。



Always　your



ANTONIA。





〃To…morrow！〃　　he　thought；　〃she's　coming　tomorrow！〃　　and；　leaving　his

neglected　breakfast；　he　started　out　to　walk　off　his　emotion。　　His

square　ran　into　one　of　those　slums　that　stil