nicely； the children are happy； she's able to pay well and see them
sometimes。 She was a girl of good family； too； who loved her
husband； and gave up much for him。 What would you have？ Three
quarters of your virtuous ladies placed in her position would do the
same if they had the necessary looks。〃
It was evident that he felt the shock of this discovery； and Shelton
understood that personal acquaintance makes a difference； even in a
vagabond。
〃This is her beat；〃 said the young foreigner； as they passed the
illuminated crescent； where nightly the shadows of hypocrites and
women fall； and Shelton went from these comments on Christianity to
the station of Charing Cross。 There； as he stood waiting in the
shadow； his heart was in his mouth； and it struck him as odd that he
should have come to this meeting fresh from a vagabond's society。
Presently； amongst the stream of travellers； he saw Antonia。 She was
close to her mother； who was parleying with a footman； behind them
were a maid carrying a bandbox and a porter with the travelling…bags。
Antonia's figure； with its throat settled in the collar of her cape；
slender； tall； severe； looked impatient and remote amongst the
bustle。 Her eyes； shadowed by the journey； glanced eagerly about；
welcoming all she saw； a wisp of hair was loose above her ear； her
cheeks glowed cold and rosy。 She caught sight of Shelton； and
bending her neck； stag…like； stood looking at him； a brilliant smile
parted her lips； and Shelton trembled。 Here was the embodiment of
all he had desired for weeks。 He could not tell what was behind that
smile of herspassionate aching or only some ideal； some chaste and
glacial intangibility。 It seemed to be shining past him into the
gloomy station。 There was no trembling and uncertainty； no rage of
possession in that brilliant smile； it had the gleam of fixedness；
like the smiling of a star。 What did it matter？ She was there；
beautiful as a young day； and smiling at him； and she was his； only
divided from him by a space of time。 He took a step； her eyes fell
at once； her face regained aloofness； he saw her； encircled by
mother； footman； maid； and porter； take her seat and drive away。
It was over； she had seen him； she had smiled； but alongside his
delight lurked another feeling； and； by a bitter freak； not her face
came up before him but the face of that lady in the restaurant
short； round； and powdered； with black…circled eyes。 What right had
we to scorn them？ Had they mothers； footmen； porters； maids？ He
shivered； but this time with physical disgust； the powdered face with
dark…fringed eyes had vanished； the fair； remote figure of the
railway…station came back again。
He sat long over dinner； drinking； dreaming； he sat long after；
smoking； dreaming； and when at length he drove away； wine and dreams
fumed in his brain。 The dance of lamps； the cream…cheese moon； the
rays of clean wet light on his horse's harness； the jingling of the
cab bell； the whirring wheels； the night air and the branchesit was
all so good！ He threw back the hansom doors to feel the touch of the
warm breeze。 The crowds on the pavement gave him strange delight；
they were like shadows； in some great illusion； happy shadows；
thronging； wheeling round the single figure of his world。
CHAPTER XII
ROTTEN ROW
With a headache and a sense of restlessness； hopeful and unhappy；
Shelton mounted his hack next morning for a gallop in the Park。
In the sky was mingled all the languor and the violence of the
spring。 The trees and flowers wore an awakened look in the gleams of
light that came stealing down from behind the purple of the clouds。
The air was rain…washed； and the passers by seemed to wear an air of
tranquil carelessness； as if anxiety were paralysed by their
responsibility of the firmament。
Thronged by riders； the Row was all astir。
Near to Hyde Park Corner a figure by the rails caught Shelton's eye。
Straight and thin； one shoulder humped a little； as if its owner were
reflecting； clothed in a frock…coat and a brown felt hat pinched up
in lawless fashion； this figure was so detached from its surroundings
that it would have been noticeable anywhere。 It belonged to Ferrand；
obviously waiting till it was time to breakfast with his patron。
Shelton found pleasure in thus observing him unseen； and sat quietly
on his horse； hidden behind a tree。
It was just at that spot where riders； unable to get further； are for
ever wheeling their horses for another turn； and there Ferrand； the
bird of passage； with his head a little to one side； watched them
cantering； trotting； wheeling up and down。
Three men walking along the rails were snatching off their hats
before a horsewoman at exactly the same angle and with precisely the
same air； as though in the modish performance of this ancient rite
they were satisfying some instinct very dear to them。
Shelton noted the curl of Ferrand's lip as he watched this sight。
〃Many thanks； gentlemen；〃 it seemed to say； 〃in that charming little
action you have shown me all your souls。〃
What a singular gift the fellow had of divesting things and people of
their garments； of tearing away their veil of shams； and their
phylacteries！ Shelton turned and cantered on； his thoughts were with
Antonia； and he did not want the glamour stripped away。
He was glancing at the sky； that every moment threatened to discharge
a violent shower of rain； when suddenly he heard his name called from
behind； and who should ride up to him on either side but Bill Dennant
andAntonia herself！
They had been galloping； and she was flushedflushed as when she
stood on the old tower at Hyeres； but with a joyful radiance
different from the calm and conquering radiance of that other moment。
To Shelton's delight they fell into line with him； and all three went
galloping along the strip between the trees and rails。 The look she
gave him seemed to say； 〃I don't care if it is forbidden！〃 but she
did not speak。 He could not take his eyes off her。 How lovely she
looked； with the resolute curve of her figure； the glimpse of gold
under her hat； the glorious colour in her cheeks； as if she had been
kissed。
〃It 's so splendid to be at home！ Let 's go faster； faster！〃 she
cried out。
〃Take a pull。 We shall get run in；〃 grumbled her brother； with a
chuckle。
They reined in round the bend and jogged more soberly down on the far
side； still not a word from her to Shelton； and Shelton in his turn
spoke only to Bill Dennant。 He was afraid to speak to her； for he
knew that her mind was dwelling on this chance forbidden meeting in a
way quite different from his own。
Approaching Hyde Park Corner； where Ferrand was still standing
against the rails； Shelton； who had forgotten his existence； suffered
a shock when his eyes fell suddenly on that impassive figure。 He was
about to raise his hand； when he saw that the young foreigner； noting
his instinctive feeling； had at once adapted himself to it。 They
passed again without a greeting； unless that swift inquisition；
followed by unconsciousness in Ferrand's eyes； could so be called。
But the feeling of idiotic happiness left Shelton； he grew irritated
at this silence。 It tantalised him more and more； for Bill Dennant
had lagged behind to chatter to a friend； Shelton and Antonia were
alone； walking their horses； without a word； not even looking at each
other。 At one moment he thought of galloping ahead and leaving her；
then of breaking the vow of muteness she seemed to be imposing on
him； and he kept thinking： 〃It ought to be either one thing or the
other。 I can't stand this。〃 Her calmness was getting on his nerves；
she seemed to have determined just how far she meant to go； to have
fixed cold…bloodedly a limit。 In her happy young beauty and radiant
coolness she summed up that sane consistent something existing in
nine out of ten of the people Shelton knew。 〃I can't stand it long；〃
he thought； and all of a sudden spoke； but as he did so she frowned
and cantered on。 When he caught her she was smiling； lifting her
face to catch the raindrops which were falling fast。 She gave him
just a nod； and waved her hand as a sign for him to go； and when he
would not； she frowned。 He saw Bill Dennant； posting after them；
and； seized by a sense of the ridiculous； lifted his hat； and
galloped off。
The rain was coming down in torrents now； and every one was scurrying
for shelter。 He looked back from the bend； and could still make out
Antonia riding leisurely； her face upturned； and revelling in the
shower。 Why had n't she either cut him altogether or taken the
sweets the gods had sent？ It seemed wicked to have wasted such a
chance； and； ploughing back to Hyde Park Corner； he turned his head
to see if by any chance she had relented。
His irritation was soon gone； but his longing stayed。 Was ever
anything so beautiful as she had looked with her face turned to the
rain？ She seemed to love the rain。 It suited hersuited her ever
so much better than the sunshine of the South。 Yes； she was very
English！ Puzzling and fretting； he reached his rooms。 Ferrand had
not arrived； in fact did not turn up that day。 His non…appearance
afforded Shelton another proof of the delicacy that went hand in hand
with the young vagrant's cynicism。 In the afternoon he received a
note。
。 。 。 You see； Dick ＇he read＇； I ought to have cut you； but I felt
too crazyeverything seems so jolly at home； even this stuffy old
London。 Of course； I wanted to talk to you badlythere are heaps of
things one can't say by letterbut I should have been sorry
afterwards。 I told mother。 She said I was quite right； but I don't
think she took it in。 Don't you feel that the only thing that really
matters is to have an ideal； and to keep it so safe that you can
always look