lecture09- 第4部分

was　finally　released；　and　found　my　way　to　my　brother's　house；



where　every　care　was　given　me。　　While　lying　in　bed　the



admonishing　Spirit　never　left　me；　and　when　I　arose　the　following



Sabbath　morning　I　felt　that　day　would　decide　my　fate；　and　toward



evening　it　came　into　my　head　to　go　to　Jerry　M'Auley's　Mission。　　I



went。　　The　house　was　packed；　and　with　great　difficulty　I　made　my



way　to　the　space　near　the　platform。　　There　I　saw　the　apostle　to



the　drunkard　and　the　outcastthat　man　of　God；　Jerry　M'Auley。　　He



rose；　and　amid　deep　silence　told　his　experience。　　There　was　a



sincerity　about　this　man　that　carried　conviction　with　it；　and　I



found　myself　saying；　'I　wonder　if　God　can　save　me？'　　I　listened



to　the　testimony　of　twenty…five　or　thirty　persons；　every　one　of



whom　had　been　saved　from　rum；　and　I　made　up　my　mind　that　I　would



be　saved　or　die　right　there。　　When　the　invitation　was　given；　I



knelt　down　with　a　crowd　of　drunkards。　　Jerry　made　the　first



prayer。　　Then　Mrs。　M'Auley　prayed　fervently　for　us。　　Oh；　what　a



conflict　was　going　on　for　my　poor　soul！　　A　blessed　whisper　said；





'Come'；　the　devil　said；　'Be　careful。'　　I　halted　but　a　moment；　and



then；　with　a　breaking　heart；　I　said；　'Dear　Jesus；　can　you　help



me？'　　Never　with　mortal　tongue　can　I　describe　that　moment。　



Although　up　to　that　moment　my　soul　had　been　filled　with



indescribable　gloom；　I　felt　the　glorious　brightness　of　the



noonday　sun　shine　into　my　heart。　　I　felt　I　was　a　free　man。　　Oh；



the　precious　feeling　of　safety；　of　freedom；　of　resting　on　Jesus！



I　felt　that　Christ　with　all　his　brightness　and　power　had　come



into　my　life；　that；　indeed；　old　things　had　passed　away　and　all



things　had　become　new。







〃From　that　moment　till　now　I　have　never　wanted　a　drink　of



whiskey；　and　I　have　never　seen　money　enough　to　make　me　take　one。　



I　promised　God　that　night　that　if　he　would　take　away　the　appetite



for　strong　drink；　I　would　work　for　him　all　my　life。　　He　has　done



his　part；　and　I　have　been　trying　to　do　mine。〃＇104＇







＇104＇　I　have　abridged　Mr。　Hadley's　account。　　For　other



conversions　of　drunkards；　see　his　pamphlet；　Rescue　Mission　Work；



published　at　the　Old　Jerry　M'Auley　Water　Street　Mission；　New　York



City。　　A　striking　collection　of　cases　also　appears　in　the



appendix　to　Professor　Leuba's　article。















　Dr。　Leuba　rightly　remarks　that　there　is　little　doctrinal



theology　in　such　an　experience；　which　starts　with　the　absolute



need　of　a　higher　helper；　and　ends　with　the　sense　that　he　has



helped　us。　　He　gives　other　cases　of　drunkards'　conversions　which



are　purely　ethical；　containing；　as　recorded；　no　theological



beliefs　whatever。　　John　B。　Gough's　case；　for　instance；　is



practically；　says　Dr。　Leuba；　the　conversion　of　an



atheistneither　God　nor　Jesus　being　mentioned。＇105＇　But　in　spite



of　the　importance　of　this　type　of　regeneration；　with　little　or　no



intellectual　readjustment；　this　writer　surely　makes　it　too



exclusive。　　It　corresponds　to　the　subjectively　centered　form　of



morbid　melancholy；　of　which　Bunyan　and　Alline　were　examples。　　But



we　saw　in　our　seventh　lecture　that　there　are　objective　forms　of



melancholy　also；　in　which　the　lack　of　rational　meaning　of　the



universe；　and　of　life　anyhow；　is　the　burden　that　weighs　upon



oneyou　remember　Tolstoy's　case。＇106＇　So　there　are　distinct



elements　in　conversion；　and　their　relations　to　individual　lives



deserve　to　be　discriminated。＇107＇







＇105＇　A　restaurant　waiter　served　provisionally　as　Gough's



'Saviour。'　　General　Booth；　the　founder　of　the　Salvation　Army；



considers　that　the　first　vital　step　in　saving　outcasts　consists



in　making　them　feel　that　some　decent　human　being　cares　enough　for



them　to　take　an　interest　in　the　question　whether　they　are　to　rise



or　sink。







＇106＇　The　crisis　of　apathetic　melancholyno　use　in　lifeinto



which　J。　S。　Mill　records　that　he　fell；　from　which　he　emerged　by



the　reading　of　Marmontel's　Memoirs　（Heaven　save　the　mark！）　and



Wordsworth's　poetry；　is　another　intellectual　and　general



metaphysical　case。　See　Mill's　Autobiography；　New　York；　1873；　pp。



141；　148。







＇107＇　Starbuck；　in　addition　to　〃escape　from　sin；〃　discriminates



〃spiritual　illumination〃　as　a　distinct　type　of　conversion



experience。　Psychology　of　Religion；　p。　85。















Some　persons；　for　instance；　never　are；　and　possibly　never　under



any　circumstances　could　be；　converted。　　Religious　ideas　cannot



become　the　centre　of　their　spiritual　energy。　　They　may　be



excellent　persons；　servants　of　God　in　practical　ways；　but　they



are　not　children　of　his　kingdom。　　They　are　either　incapable　of



imagining　the　invisible；　or　else；　in　the　language　of　devotion；



they　are　life…long　subjects　of　〃barrenness〃　and　〃dryness。〃　　　



Such　inaptitude　for　religious　faith　may　in　some　cases　be



intellectual　in　its　origin。　　Their　religious　faculties　may　be



checked　in　their　natural　tendency　to　expand；　by　beliefs　about　the



world　that　are　inhibitive；　the　pessimistic　and　materialistic



beliefs；　for　example；　within　which　so　many　good　souls；　who　in



former　times　would　have　freely　indulged　their　religious



propensities；　find　themselves　nowadays；　as　it　were；　frozen；　or



the　agnostic　vetoes　upon　faith　as　something　weak　and　shameful；



under　which　so　many　of　us　today　lie　cowering；　afraid　to　use　our



instincts。　　In　many　persons　such　inhibitions　are　never　overcome。　



To　the　end　of　their　days　they　refuse　to　believe；　their　personal



energy　never　gets　to　its　religious　centre；　and　the　latter　remains



inactive　in　perpetuity。







In　other　persons　the　trouble　is　profounder。　　There　are　men



anaesthetic　on　the　religious　side；　deficient　in　that　category　of



sensibility。　　Just　as　a　bloodless　organism　can　never；　in　spite　of



all　its　goodwill；　attain　to　the　reckless　〃animal　spirits〃　enjoyed



by　those　of　sanguine　temperament；　so　the　nature　which　is



spiritually　barren　may　admire　and　envy　faith　in　others；　but　can



never　compass　the　enthusiasm　and　peace　which　those　who　are



temperamentally　qualified　for　faith　enjoy。　　All　this　may；



however；　turn　out　eventually　to　have　been　a　matter　of　temporary



inhibition。　　Even　late　in　life　some　thaw；　some　release　may　take



place；　some　bolt　be　shot　back　in　the　barrenest　breast；　and　the



man's　hard　heart　may　soften　and　break　into　religious　feeling。　



Such　cases　more　than　any　others　suggest　the　idea　that　sudden



conversion　is　by　miracle。　　So　long　as　they　exist；　we　must　not



imagine　ourselves　to　deal　with　irretrievably　fixed　classes。　



Now　there　are　two　forms　of　mental　occurrence　in　human　beings；



which　lead　to　a　striking　difference　in　the　conversion　process；　a



difference　to　which　Professor　Starbuck　has　called　attention。　　You



know　how　it　is　when　you　try　to　recollect　a　forgotten　name。　



Usually　you　help　the　recall　by　working　for　it；　by　mentally



running　over　the　places；　persons；　and　things　with　which　the　word



was　connected。　　But　sometimes　this　effort　fails：　　you　feel　then



as　if　the　harder　you　tried　the　less　hope　there　would　be；　as



though　the　name　were　JAMMED；　and　pressure　in　its　direction　only



kept　it　all　the　more　from　rising。　And　then　the　opposite　expedient



often　succeeds。　　Give　up　the　effort　entirely；　think　of　something



altogether　different；　and　in　half　an　hour　the　lost　name　comes



sauntering　into　your　mind；　as　Emerson　says；　as　carelessly　as　if



it　had　never　been　invited。　　Some　hidden　process　was　started　in



you　by　the　effort；　which　went　on　after　the　effort　ceased；　and



made　the　result　come　as　if　it　came　spontaneously。　　A　certain



music　teacher；　says　Dr。　Starbuck；　says　to　her　pupils　after　the



thing　to　be　done　has　been　clearly　pointed　out；　and　unsuccessfully



attempted：　　〃Stop　trying　and　it　will　do　itself！〃＇108＇







＇108＇　Psychology　of　Religion；　p。　117。















There　is　thus　a　conscious　and　voluntary　way　and　an　involuntary



and　unconscious　way　in　which　mental　results　may　get　accomplished；



and　we　find　both　ways　exemplified　in　the　history　of　conversion；



giving　us　two　types；　which　Starbuck　calls　the　volitional　type　and



the　type　by　self…surrender　respectively。







In　the　volitional　type　the　regenerative　change　is　usually



gradual；　and　consists　in　the　building　up；　piece　by　piece；　of　a



new　set　of　moral　and　spiritual　habits。　　But　there　are　always



critical　points　here　at　which　the　movement　forward　seems　much



more　rapid。　　This　psychological　fact　is　abundantly　illustrated　by



Dr。　Starbuck。　　Our　education　in　any　practical　accomplishment



proceeds　apparently　by　jerks　and　starts　just　as　the　growth　of　our



physical　bodies　does。







〃An　athlete　。　。　。　sometimes　awakens　suddenly　to　an　understanding



of　the　fine　points　of　the　game　and　to　a　real　enjoyment　of　it；



just　as　the　convert　awakens　to　an　appreciation　of　religion。　If　he



keeps　on　engaging　in　the　sport；　there　may　come　a　day　when　all　at



once　the　game　plays　itself　through　himwhen　he　loses　himself　in



some　great　contest。　　In　the　same　way；　a　musician　may　suddenly



reach　a　point　at　which　pleasure　in　the　technique　of　the　art



entirely　falls　away；　and　in　some　moment　of　inspiration　he　becomes



the　instrument　through　which　music　flows。　The　writer　has　chanced



to　hear　two　different　married　persons；　both　of　whose　wedded　lives



had　been　beautiful　from　the　beginning；　relate　that　not　until　a



year　or　more　after　marriage　did　they　awake　to　the　full



blessedness　of　married　life。　　So　it　is　with　the　religious



experience　of　these　persons　we　are　studying。〃