novel notes- 第22部分

For　three　hours　he　sat　there　drinking　steadily；　with　his　watch　before　him。　　At　half…past　ten　he　rang　the　bell；　paid　his　bill；　came　home；　and　cut　his　throat。

For　a　quarter　of　a　century　people　had　been　calling　that　man　a　〃reformed　character。〃　　His　character　had　not　reformed　one　jot。　　The　craving　for　drink　had　never　died。　　For　twenty…six　years　he　had；　being　a　great　man；　held　it　gripped　by　the　throat。　　When　all　things　became　a　matter　of　indifference　to　him；　he　loosened　his　grasp；　and　the　evil　instinct　rose　up　within　him　as　strong　on　the　day　he　died　as　on　the　day　he　forced　it　down。

That　is　all　a　man　can　do；　pray　for　strength　to　crush　down　the　evil　that　is　in　him；　and　to　keep　it　held　down　day　after　day。　　I　never　hear　washy　talk　about　〃changed　characters〃　and　〃reformed　natures〃　but　I　think　of　a　sermon　I　once　heard　at　a　Wesleyan　revivalist　meeting　in　the　Black　Country。

〃Ah！　my　friends；　we've　all　of　us　got　the　devil　inside　us。　　I've　got　him；　you've　got　him；〃　cried　the　preacherhe　was　an　old　man；　with　long　white　hair　and　beard；　and　wild；　fighting　eyes。　　Most　of　the　preachers　who　came　〃reviving；〃　as　it　was　called；　through　that　district；　had　those　eyes。　　Some　of　them　needed　〃reviving〃　themselves；　in　quite　another　sense；　before　they　got　clear　out　of　it。　I　am　speaking　now　of　more　than　thirty　years　ago。

〃Ah！　so　us　haveso　us　have；〃　came　the　response。

〃And　you　carn't　get　rid　of　him；〃　continued　the　speaker。

〃Not　of　oursel's；〃　ejaculated　a　fervent　voice　at　the　end　of　the　room；　〃but　the　Lord　will　help　us。〃

The　old　preacher　turned　on　him　almost　fiercely：…

〃But　th'　Lord　woan't；〃　he　shouted；　〃doan't　'ee　reckon　on　that；　lad。　Ye've　got　him　an'　ye've　got　ta　keep　him。　　Ye　carn't　get　rid　of　him。　Th'　Lord　doan't　mean　'ee　to。〃

Here　there　broke　forth　murmurs　of　angry　disapproval；　but　the　old　fellow　went　on；　unheeding：…

〃It　arn't　good　for　'ee　to　get　rid　of　him。　　Ye've　just　got　to　hug　him　tight。　　Doan't　let　him　go。　　Hold　him　fast；　andLAM　INTO　HIM。　　I　tell　'ee　it's　good；　healthy　Christian　exercise。〃

We　had　been　discussing　the　subject　with　reference　to　our　hero。　　It　had　been　suggested　by　Brown　as　an　unhackneyed　idea；　and　one　lending　itself；　therefore；　to　comparative　freshness　of　treatment；　that　our　hero　should　be　a　thorough…paced　scamp。

Jephson　seconded　the　proposal；　for　the　reason　that　it　would　the　better　enable　us　to　accomplish　artistic　work。　　He　was　of　opinion　that　we　should　be　more　sure　of　our　ground　in　drawing　a　villain　than　in　attempting　to　portray　a　good　man。

MacShaughnassy　thirded　（if　I　may　coin　what　has　often　appeared　to　me　to　be　a　much…needed　word）　the　motion　with　ardour。　　He　was　tired；　he　said；　of　the　crystal…hearted；　noble…thinking　young　man　of　fiction。　Besides；　it　made　bad　reading　for　the　〃young　person。〃　　It　gave　her　false　ideas；　and　made　her　dissatisfied　with　mankind　as　he　really　is。

And；　thereupon；　he　launched　forth　and　sketched　us　his　idea　of　a　hero；　with　reference　to　whom　I　can　only　say　that　I　should　not　like　to　meet　him　on　a　dark　night。

Brown；　our　one　earnest　member；　begged　us　to　be　reasonable；　and　reminded　us；　not　for　the　first　time；　and　not；　perhaps；　altogether　unnecessarily；　that　these　meetings　were　for　the　purpose　of　discussing　business；　not　of　talking　nonsense。

Thus　adjured；　we　attacked　the　subject　conscientiously。

Brown's　idea　was　that　the　man　should　be　an　out…and…out　blackguard；　until　about　the　middle　of　the　book；　when　some　event　should　transpire　that　would　have　the　effect　of　completely　reforming　him。　　This　naturally　brought　the　discussion　down　to　the　question　with　which　I　have　commenced　this　chapter：　　Does　man　ever　reform？　　I　argued　in　the　negative；　and　gave　the　reasons　for　my　disbelief　much　as　I　have　set　them　forth　here。　　MacShaughnassy；　on　the　other　hand；　contended　that　he　did；　and　instanced　the　case　of　himselfa　man　who；　in　his　early　days；　so　he　asserted；　had　been　a　scatterbrained；　impracticable　person；　entirely　without　stability。

I　maintained　that　this　was　merely　an　example　of　enormous　will…power　enabling　a　man　to　overcome　and　rise　superior　to　the　defects　of　character　with　which　nature　had　handicapped　him。

〃My　opinion　of　you；〃　I　said；　〃is　that　you　are　naturally　a　hopelessly　irresponsible；　well…meaning　ass。　　But；〃　I　continued　quickly；　seeing　his　hand　reaching　out　towards　a　complete　Shakespeare　in　one　volume　that　lay　upon　the　piano；　〃your　mental　capabilities　are　of　such　extraordinary　power　that　you　can　disguise　this　fact；　and　make　yourself　appear　a　man　of　sense　and　wisdom。〃

Brown　agreed　with　me　that　in　MacShaughnassy's　case　traces　of　the　former　disposition　were　clearly　apparent；　but　pleaded　that　the　illustration　was　an　unfortunate　one；　and　that　it　ought　not　to　have　weight　in　the　discussion。

〃Seriously　speaking；〃　said　he；　〃don't　you　think　that　there　are　some　experiences　great　enough　to　break　up　and　re…form　a　man's　nature？〃

〃To　break　up；〃　I　replied；　〃yes；　but　to　re…form；　no。　　Passing　through　a　great　experience　may　shatter　a　man；　or　it　may　strengthen　a　man；　just　as　passing　through　a　furnace　may　melt　or　purify　metal；　but　no　furnace　ever　lit　upon　this　earth　can　change　a　bar　of　gold　into　a　bar　of　lead；　or　a　bar　of　lead　into　one　of　gold。〃

I　asked　Jephson　what　he　thought。　　He　did　not　consider　the　bar　of　gold　simile　a　good　one。　　He　held　that　a　man's　character　was　not　an　immutable　element。　　He　likened　it　to　a　drugpoison　or　elixir　compounded　by　each　man　for　himself　from　the　pharmacopoeia　of　all　things　known　to　life　and　time；　and　saw　no　impossibility；　though　some　improbability；　in　the　glass　being　flung　aside　and　a　fresh　draught　prepared　with　pain　and　labour。

〃Well；〃　I　said；　〃let　us　put　the　case　practically；　did　you　ever　know　a　man's　character　to　change？〃

〃Yes；〃　he　answered；　〃I　did　know　a　man　whose　character　seemed　to　me　to　be　completely　changed　by　an　experience　that　happened　to　him。　　It　may；　as　you　say；　only　have　been　that　he　was　shattered；　or　that　the　lesson　may　have　taught　him　to　keep　his　natural　disposition　ever　under　control。　　The　result；　in　any　case；　was　striking。〃

We　asked　him　to　give　us　the　history　of　the　case；　and　he　did　so。

〃He　was　a　friend　of　some　cousins　of　mine；〃　Jephson　began；　〃people　I　used　to　see　a　good　deal　of　in　my　undergraduate　days。　　When　I　met　him　first　he　was　a　young　fellow　of　twenty…six；　strong　mentally　and　physically；　and　of　a　stern　and　stubborn　nature　that　those　who　liked　him　called　masterful；　and　that　those　who　disliked　hima　more　numerous　bodytermed　tyrannical。　　When　I　saw　him　three　years　later；　he　was　an　old　man　of　twenty…nine；　gentle　and　yielding　beyond　the　border…line　of　weakness；　mistrustful　of　himself　and　considerate　of　others　to　a　degree　that　was　often　unwise。　　Formerly；　his　anger　had　been　a　thing　very　easily　and　frequently　aroused。　　Since　the　change　of　which　I　speak；　I　have　never　known　the　shade　of　anger　to　cross　his　face　but　once。　　In　the　course　of　a　walk；　one　day；　we　came　upon　a　young　rough　terrifying　a　small　child　by　pretending　to　set　a　dog　at　her。　　He　seized　the　boy　with　a　grip　that　almost　choked　him；　and　administered　to　him　a　punishment　that　seemed　to　me　altogether　out　of　proportion　to　the　crime；　brutal　though　it　was。

〃I　remonstrated　with　him　when　he　rejoined　me。

〃'Yes；'　he　replied　apologetically；　'I　suppose　I'm　a　hard　judge　of　some　follies。'　　And；　knowing　what　his　haunted　eyes　were　looking　at；　I　said　no　more。

〃He　was　junior　partner　in　a　large　firm　of　tea　brokers　in　the　City。　There　was　not　much　for　him　to　do　in　the　London　office；　and　when；　therefore；　as　the　result　of　some　mortgage　transactions；　a　South　Indian　tea　plantation　fell　into　the　hands　of　the　firm；　it　was　suggested　that　he　should　go　out　and　take　the　management　of　it。　　The　plan　suited　him　admirably。　　He　was　a　man　in　every　way　qualified　to　lead　a　rough　life；　to　face　a　by　no　means　contemptible　amount　of　difficulty　and　danger；　to　govern　a　small　army　of　native　workers　more　amenable　to　fear　than　to　affection。　　Such　a　life；　demanding　thought　and　action；　would　afford　his　strong　nature　greater　interest　and　enjoyment　than　he　could　ever　hope　to　obtain　amid　the　cramped　surroundings　of　civilisation。

〃Only　one　thing　could　in　reason　have　been　urged　against　the　arrangement；　that　thing　was　his　wife。　　She　was　a　fragile；　delicate　girl；　whom　he　had　married　in　obedience　to　that　instinct　of　attraction　towards　the　opposite　which　Nature；　for　the　purpose　of　maintaining　her　average；　has　implanted　in　our　breastsa　timid；　meek…eyed　creature；　one　of　those　women　to　whom　death　is　less　terrible　than　danger；　and　fate　easier　to　face　than　fear。　　Such　women　have　been　known　to　run　screaming　from　a　mouse　and　to　meet　martyrdom　with　heroism。　　They　can　no　more　keep　their　nerves　from　trembling　than　an　aspen　tree　can　stay　the　quivering　of　its　leaves。

〃That　she　was　totally　unfitted　for；　and　would　be　made　wretched　by　the　life　to　which　his　acceptance　of　the　post　would　condemn　her　might　have　readily　occurred　to　him；　had　he　stopped　to　consider　for　a　moment　her　feelings　in　the　matter。　　But　to　view　a　question　from　any　other　standpoint　than　his　own　was　not　his　habit。　　That　he　loved　her　passionately；　in　his　way；　as　a　thing　belonging　to　himself；　there　can　be　no　doubt；　but　it　was　with　the　love　that　such　men　have　for　the　dog　they　will　thrash；　the　horse　they　will　spur　to　a　broken　back。　　To　consult　her　on　the　subject　never　entered　his　head。　　He　informed　her　one　day　of　his　decision　and　of　the　date　of　their　sailing；　and；　handing　her　a　handsome　cheque；　told　her　to　purchase　all　things　necessary　to　her；　and　to　let　him　know　if　she　needed　more；　and　she；　loving　him　with　a　dog…like　devotion　that　was　not　good　for　him；　opened　her　big　eyes　a　little　wider；　but　said　nothing。　　She　thought　much　about　the　coming　change　to　herself；　however；　and；　when　nobody　was　by；　she　would　cry　softly；　then；　hearing　his　footsteps；　would　hastily　wipe　away　the　traces　of　her　tears；　and　go　to　meet　him　with　a　smile。

〃Now；　her　timidity　and　nervousness；　which　at　home　had　been　a　butt　for　mere　chaff；　became；　under　the　new　circumstances　of　their　life；　a　serious　annoyance　to　the　man。　　A　woman　who　seemed　unable　to　repress　a　scream　whenever　she　turned　and　saw　in　the　gloom　a　pair　of　piercing　eyes　looking　out　at　her　from　a　dusky　face；　who　was　liable　to　drop　off　her　horse　with　fear　at　the　sound　of　a　wild　beast's　roar　a　mile　off；　and　who　would　turn　white　and　limp　with　horror　a