novel notes- 第32部分

〃What　an　awful　idea！〃　sighed　poor　Ethelbertha；　after　a　long　pause。　〃Do　you　think　you　ever　really　loved　him？〃

〃Oh　yes；〃　said　Amenda；　〃I　loved　him　right　enough；　but　it's　no　good　loving　a　man　that　wants　you　to　live　on　sausages　that　keep　you　awake　all　night。〃

〃But　does　he　want　you　to　live　on　sausages？〃　persisted　Ethelbertha。

〃Oh；　he　doesn't　say　anything　about　it；〃　explained　Amenda；　〃but　you　know　what　it　is；　mum；　when　you　marry　a　pork　butcher；　you're　expected　to　eat　what's　left　over。　　That's　the　mistake　my　poor　cousin　Eliza　made。　　She　married　a　muffin　man。　　Of　course；　what　he　didn't　sell　they　had　to　finish　up　themselves。　　Why；　one　winter；　when　he　had　a　run　of　bad　luck；　they　lived　for　two　months　on　nothing　but　muffins。　I　never　saw　a　girl　so　changed　in　all　my　life。　　One　has　to　think　of　these　things；　you　know。〃

But　the　most　shamefully　mercenary　engagement　that　I　think　Amenda　ever　entered　into；　was　one　with　a　'bus　conductor。　　We　were　living　in　the　north　of　London　then；　and　she　had　a　young　man；　a　cheesemonger；　who　kept　a　shop　in　Lupus　Street；　Chelsea。　　He　could　not　come　up　to　her　because　of　the　shop；　so　once　a　week　she　used　to　go　down　to　him。　One　did　not　ride　ten　miles　for　a　penny　in　those　days；　and　she　found　the　fare　from　Holloway　to　Victoria　and　back　a　severe　tax　upon　her　purse。　　The　same　'bus　that　took　her　down　at　six　brought　her　back　at　ten。　　During　the　first　journey　the　'bus　conductor　stared　at　Amenda；　during　the　second　he　talked　to　her；　during　the　third　he　gave　her　a　cocoanut；　during　the　fourth　he　proposed　to　her；　and　was　promptly　accepted。　　After　that；　Amenda　was　enabled　to　visit　her　cheesemonger　without　expense。

He　was　a　quaint　character　himself；　this　'bus　conductor。　　I　often　rode　with　him　to　Fleet　Street。　　He　knew　me　quite　well　（I　suppose　Amenda　must　have　pointed　me　out　to　him）；　and　would　always　ask　me　after　heraloud；　before　all　the　other　passengers；　which　was　trying…　…and　give　me　messages　to　take　back　to　her。　　Where　women　were　concerned　he　had　what　is　called　〃a　way〃　with　him；　and　from　the　extent　and　variety　of　his　female　acquaintance；　and　the　evident　tenderness　with　which　the　majority　of　them　regarded　him；　I　am　inclined　to　hope　that　Amenda's　desertion　of　him　（which　happened　contemporaneously　with　her　jilting　of　the　cheesemonger）　caused　him　less　prolonged　suffering　than　might　otherwise　have　been　the　case。

He　was　a　man　from　whom　I　derived　a　good　deal　of　amusement　one　way　and　another。　　Thinking　of　him　brings　back　to　my　mind　a　somewhat　odd　incident。

One　afternoon；　I　jumped　upon　his　'bus　in　the　Seven　Sisters　Road。　　An　elderly　Frenchman　was　the　only　other　occupant　of　the　vehicle。　　〃You　vil　not　forget　me；〃　the　Frenchman　was　saying　as　I　entered；　〃I　desire　Sharing　Cross。〃

〃I　won't　forget　yer；〃　answered　the　conductor；　〃you　shall　'ave　yer　Sharing　Cross。　　Don't　make　a　fuss　about　it。〃

〃That's　the　third　time　'ee's　arst　me　not　to　forget　'im；〃　he　remarked　to　me　in　a　stentorian　aside；　〃'ee　don't　giv'　yer　much　chance　of　doin'　it；　does　'ee？〃

At　the　corner　of　the　Holloway　Road　we　drew　up；　and　our　conductor　began　to　shout　after　the　manner　of　his　species：　　〃Charing　Cross　Charing　Cross'ere　yer　areCome　along；　ladyCharing　Cross。〃

The　little　Frenchman　jumped　up；　and　prepared　to　exit；　the　conductor　pushed　him　back。

〃Sit　down　and　don't　be　silly；〃　he　said；　〃this　ain't　Charing　Cross。〃

The　Frenchman　looked　puzzled；　but　collapsed　meekly。　　We　picked　up　a　few　passengers；　and　proceeded　on　our　way。　　Half　a　mile　up　the　Liverpool　Road　a　lady　stood　on　the　kerb　regarding　us　as　we　passed　with　that　pathetic　mingling　of　desire　and　distrust　which　is　the　average　woman's　attitude　towards　conveyances　of　all　kinds。　　Our　conductor　stopped。

〃Where　d'yer　want　to　go　to？〃　he　asked　her　severely〃StrandCharing　Cross？〃

The　Frenchman　did　not　hear　or　did　not　understand　the　first　part　of　the　speech；　but　he　caught　the　words　〃Charing　Cross；〃　and　bounced　up　and　out　on　to　the　step。　　The　conductor　collared　him　as　he　was　getting　off；　and　jerked　him　back　savagely。

〃Carn't　yer　keep　still　a　minute；〃　he　cried　indignantly；　〃blessed　if　you　don't　want　lookin'　after　like　a　bloomin'　kid。〃

〃I　vont　to　be　put　down　at　Sharing　Cross；〃　answered　the　Frenchman；　humbly。

〃You　vont　to　be　put　down　at　Sharing　Cross；〃　repeated　the　other　bitterly；　as　he　led　him　back　to　his　seat。　　〃I　shall　put　yer　down　in　the　middle　of　the　road　if　I　'ave　much　more　of　yer。　　You　stop　there　till　I　come　and　sling　yer　out。　　I　ain't　likely　to　let　yer　go　much　past　yer　Sharing　Cross；　I　shall　be　too　jolly　glad　to　get　rid　o'　yer。〃

The　poor　Frenchman　subsided；　and　we　jolted　on。　　At　〃The　Angel〃　we；　of　course；　stopped。　　〃Charing　Cross；〃　shouted　the　conductor；　and　up　sprang　the　Frenchman。

〃Oh；　my　Gawd；〃　said　the　conductor；　taking　him　by　the　shoulders　and　forcing　him　down　into　the　corner　seat；　〃wot　am　I　to　do？　　Carn't　somebody　sit　on　'im？〃

He　held　him　firmly　down　until　the　'bus　started；　and　then　released　him。　　At　the　top　of　Chancery　Lane　the　same　scene　took　place；　and　the　poor　little　Frenchman　became　exasperated。

〃He　keep　saying　Sharing　Cross；　Sharing　Cross；〃　he　exclaimed；　turning　to　the　other　passengers；　〃and　it　is　NO　Sharing　Cross。　　He　is　fool。〃

〃Carn't　yer　understand；〃　retorted　the　conductor；　equally　indignant；　〃of　course　I　say　Sharing　CrossI　mean　Charing　Cross；　but　that　don't　mean　that　it　IS　Charing　Cross。　　That　means〃　and　then　perceiving　from　the　blank　look　on　the　Frenchman's　face　the　utter　impossibility　of　ever　making　the　matter　clear　to　him；　he　turned　to　us　with　an　appealing　gesture；　and　asked：

〃Does　any　gentleman　know　the　French　for　'bloomin'　idiot'？〃

A　day　or　two　afterwards；　I　happened　to　enter　his　omnibus　again。

〃Well；〃　I　asked　him；　〃did　you　get　your　French　friend　to　Charing　Cross　all　right？〃

〃No；　sir；〃　he　replied；　〃you'll　'ardly　believe　it；　but　I　'ad　a　bit　of　a　row　with　a　policeman　just　before　I　got　to　the　corner；　and　it　put　'im　clean　out　o'　my　'ead。　　Blessed　if　I　didn't　run　'im　on　to　Victoria。〃



CHAPTER　XI



Said　Brown　one　evening；　〃There　is　but　one　vice；　and　that　is　selfishness。〃

Jephson　was　standing　before　the　fire　lighting　his　pipe。　　He　puffed　the　tobacco　into　a　glow；　threw　the　match　into　the　embers；　and　then　said：

〃And　the　seed　of　all　virtue　also。〃

〃Sit　down　and　get　on　with　your　work；〃　said　MacShaughnassy　from　the　sofa　where　he　lay　at　full　length　with　his　heels　on　a　chair；　〃we're　discussing　the　novel。　　Paradoxes　not　admitted　during　business　hours。〃

Jephson；　however；　was　in　an　argumentative　mood。

〃Selfishness；〃　he　continued；　〃is　merely　another　name　for　Will。　Every　deed；　good　or　bad；　that　we　do　is　prompted　by　selfishness。　　We　are　charitable　to　secure　ourselves　a　good　place　in　the　next　world；　to　make　ourselves　respected　in　this；　to　ease　our　own　distress　at　the　knowledge　of　suffering。　　One　man　is　kind　because　it　gives　him　pleasure　to　be　kind；　just　as　another　is　cruel　because　cruelty　pleases　him。　　A　great　man　does　his　duty　because　to　him　the　sense　of　duty　done　is　a　deeper　delight　than　would　be　the　case　resulting　from　avoidance　of　duty。　　The　religious　man　is　religious　because　he　finds　a　joy　in　religion；　the　moral　man　moral　because　with　his　strong　self…　respect；　viciousness　would　mean　wretchedness。　　Self…sacrifice　itself　is　only　a　subtle　selfishness：　　we　prefer　the　mental　exaltation　gained　thereby　to　the　sensual　gratification　which　is　the　alternative　reward。　　Man　cannot　be　anything　else　but　selfish。　　Selfishness　is　the　law　of　all　life。　　Each　thing；　from　the　farthest　fixed　star　to　the　smallest　insect　crawling　on　the　earth；　fighting　for　itself　according　to　its　strength；　and　brooding　over　all；　the　Eternal；　working　for　HIMSELF：　　that　is　the　universe。〃

〃Have　some　whisky；〃　said　MacShaughnassy；　〃and　don't　be　so　complicatedly　metaphysical。　　You　make　my　head　ache。〃

〃If　all　action；　good　and　bad；　spring　from　selfishness；〃　replied　Brown；　〃then　there　must　be　good　selfishness　and　bad　selfishness：　and　your　bad　selfishness　is　my　plain　selfishness；　without　any　adjective；　so　we　are　back　where　we　started。　　I　say　selfishnessbad　selfishnessis　the　root　of　all　evil；　and　there　you　are　bound　to　agree　with　me。〃

〃Not　always；〃　persisted　Jephson；　〃I've　known　selfishness　selfishness　according　to　the　ordinarily　accepted　meaning　of　the　termto　be　productive　of　good　actions。　　I　can　give　you　an　instance；　if　you　like。〃

〃Has　it　got　a　moral？〃　asked　MacShaughnassy；　drowsily；

Jephson　mused　a　moment。　　〃Yes；〃　he　said　at　length；　〃a　very　practical　moraland　one　very　useful　to　young　men。〃

〃That's　the　sort　of　story　we　want；〃　said　the　MacShaughnassy；　raising　himself　into　a　sitting　position。　　〃You　listen　to　this；　Brown。〃

Jephson　seated　himself　upon　a　chair；　in　his　favourite　attitude；　with　his　elbows　resting　upon　the　back；　and　smoked　for　a　while　in　silence。

〃There　are　three　people　in　this　story；〃　he　began；　〃the　wife；　the　wife's　husband；　and　the　other　man。　　In　most　dramas　of　this　type；　it　is　the　wife　who　is　the　chief　character。　　In　this　case；　the　interesting　person　is　the　other　man。

〃The　wifeI　met　her　once：　　she　was　the　most　beautiful　woman　I　have　ever　seen；　and　the　most　wicked…looking；　which　is　saying　a　good　deal　for　both　statements。　　I　remember；　during　a　walking　tour　one　year；　coming　across　a　lovely　little　cottage。　　It　was　the　sweetest　place　imaginable。　　I　need　not　describe　it。　　It　was　the　cottage　one　sees　in　pictures；　and　reads　of　in　sentimental　poetry。　　I　was　leaning　over　the　neatly…cropped　hedge；　drinking　in　its　beauty；　when　at　one　of　the　tiny　casements　I　saw；　looking　out　at　me；　a　face。　　It　stayed　there　only　a　moment；　but　in　that　moment　the　cottage　had　become　ugly；　and　I　hurried　away　with　a　shudder。

〃That　woman's　face　reminded　me　of　the　incident。　　It　was　an　angel's　face；　until　the　woman　herself　looked　out　of　it：　　then　you　were　struck　by　the　strange　incongruity　between　tenement　and　tenant。

〃That　at　one　time　she　had　loved　her　husband；　I　have　little　doubt。　Vicious　women　have　few　vices；　and　sordidness　is　not　usually　one　of　them。　　She　had　probably　married　him；　borne　towards　him　by　one　of　those　waves　of　passion　upon　which　the　souls　of　animal　natures　are　continually　rising　and　falling。　　On　possession；　however；　had　quickly　followed　satiety；　and　from　satiety　had　grown　the　desire　for　a　new　sensation。

〃They　were　living　at　Cairo　at　the　period；　her　husband　held　an　impor