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Chapter¡¡19
EVER¡¡SINCE¡¡THE¡¡DAY¡¡when¡¡Pierre¡¡had¡¡looked¡¡up¡¡at¡¡the¡¡comet¡¡in¡¡the¡¡sky¡¡on¡¡his¡¡way¡¡home¡¡from¡¡the¡¡Rostovs¡¯£»¡¡and¡¡recalling¡¡Natasha¡¯s¡¡grateful¡¡look£»¡¡had¡¡felt¡¡as¡¡though¡¡some¡¡new¡¡vista¡¡was¡¡opening¡¡before¡¡him£»¡¡the¡¡haunting¡¡problem¡¡of¡¡the¡¡vanity¡¡and¡¡senselessness¡¡of¡¡all¡¡things¡¡earthly¡¡had¡¡ceased¡¡to¡¡torment¡¡him¡£¡¡That¡¡terrible¡¡question£º¡¡Why£¿¡¡what¡¡for£¿¡¡which¡¡had¡¡till¡¡then¡¡haunted¡¡him¡¡in¡¡the¡¡midst¡¡of¡¡every¡¡occupation£»¡¡was¡¡not¡¡now¡¡replaced¡¡by¡¡any¡¡other¡¡question£»¡¡nor¡¡by¡¡an¡¡answer¡¡to¡¡the¡¡old¡¡question£»¡¡its¡¡place¡¡was¡¡filled¡¡by¡¡the¡¡image¡¡of¡¡her¡£¡¡If¡¡he¡¡heard¡¡or¡¡talked¡¡of¡¡trivialities£»¡¡or¡¡read¡¡or¡¡was¡¡told¡¡of¡¡some¡¡instance¡¡of¡¡human¡¡baseness¡¡or¡¡folly£»¡¡he¡¡was¡¡not¡¡cast¡¡down¡¡as¡¡of¡¡old£»¡¡he¡¡did¡¡not¡¡ask¡¡himself¡¡why¡¡people¡¡troubled£»¡¡when¡¡all¡¡was¡¡so¡¡brief¡¡and¡¡uncertain¡£¡¡But¡¡he¡¡thought¡¡of¡¡her¡¡as¡¡he¡¡had¡¡seen¡¡her¡¡last£»¡¡and¡¡all¡¡his¡¡doubts¡¡vanished£»¡¡not¡¡because¡¡she¡¡had¡¡answered¡¡the¡¡questions¡¡that¡¡haunted¡¡him£»¡¡but¡¡because¡¡her¡¡image¡¡lifted¡¡him¡¡instantly¡¡into¡¡another¡¡bright¡¡realm¡¡of¡¡spiritual¡¡activity£»¡¡in¡¡which¡¡there¡¡could¡¡be¡¡neither¡¡right¡¡nor¡¡wrong£»¡¡into¡¡a¡¡region¡¡of¡¡beauty¡¡and¡¡love¡¡which¡¡was¡¡worth¡¡living¡¡for¡£¡¡Whatever¡¡infamy¡¡he¡¡thought¡¡of£»¡¡he¡¡said¡¡to¡¡himself£»¡¡¡°Well£»¡¡let¡¡so¡¡and¡¡so¡¡rob¡¡the¡¡state¡¡and¡¡the¡¡Tsar£»¡¡while¡¡the¡¡state¡¡and¡¡the¡¡Tsar¡¡heap¡¡honours¡¡on¡¡him£»¡¡but¡¡she¡¡smiled¡¡at¡¡me¡¡yesterday£»¡¡and¡¡begged¡¡me¡¡to¡¡come£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡love¡¡her£»¡¡and¡¡nobody¡¡will¡¡ever¡¡know¡¡it£»¡±¡¡he¡¡thought¡£
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