mudfog+- 第15部分

they　dazzle　one's　eyes　with　tinsel　and　gold　leaf；　not　because　they

present　to　us；　once　again；　the　well…beloved　chalked　faces；　and

goggle　eyes　of　our　childhood；　not　even　because；　like　Christmas…day；

and　Twelfth…night；　and　Shrove…Tuesday；　and　one's　own　birthday；　they

come　to　us　but　once　a　year；　…　our　attachment　is　founded　on　a　graver

and　a　very　different　reason。　　A　pantomime　is　to　us；　a　mirror　of

life；　nay；　more；　we　maintain　that　it　is　so　to　audiences　generally；

although　they　are　not　aware　of　it；　and　that　this　very　circumstance

is　the　secret　cause　of　their　amusement　and　delight。



Let　us　take　a　slight　example。　　The　scene　is　a　street：　　an　elderly

gentleman；　with　a　large　face　and　strongly　marked　features；　appears。

His　countenance　beams　with　a　sunny　smile；　and　a　perpetual　dimple　is

on　his　broad；　red　cheek。　　He　is　evidently　an　opulent　elderly

gentleman；　comfortable　in　circumstances；　and　well…to…do　in　the

world。　　He　is　not　unmindful　of　the　adornment　of　his　person；　for　he

is　richly；　not　to　say　gaudily；　dressed；　and　that　he　indulges　to　a

reasonable　extent　in　the　pleasures　of　the　table　may　be　inferred

from　the　joyous　and　oily　manner　in　which　he　rubs　his　stomach；　by

way　of　informing　the　audience　that　he　is　going　home　to　dinner。　　In

the　fulness　of　his　heart；　in　the　fancied　security　of　wealth；　in　the

possession　and　enjoyment　of　all　the　good　things　of　life；　the

elderly　gentleman　suddenly　loses　his　footing；　and　stumbles。　　How

the　audience　roar！　　He　is　set　upon　by　a　noisy　and　officious　crowd；

who　buffet　and　cuff　him　unmercifully。　　They　scream　with　delight！

Every　time　the　elderly　gentleman　struggles　to　get　up；　his

relentless　persecutors　knock　him　down　again。　　The　spectators　are

convulsed　with　merriment！　　And　when　at　last　the　elderly　gentleman

does　get　up；　and　staggers　away；　despoiled　of　hat；　wig；　and

clothing；　himself　battered　to　pieces；　and　his　watch　and　money　gone；

they　are　exhausted　with　laughter；　and　express　their　merriment　and

admiration　in　rounds　of　applause。



Is　this　like　life？　　Change　the　scene　to　any　real　street；　…　to　the

Stock　Exchange；　or　the　City　banker's；　the　merchant's　counting…

house；　or　even　the　tradesman's　shop。　　See　any　one　of　these　men

fall；　…　the　more　suddenly；　and　the　nearer　the　zenith　of　his　pride

and　riches；　the　better。　　What　a　wild　hallo　is　raised　over　his

prostrate　carcase　by　the　shouting　mob；　how　they　whoop　and　yell　as

he　lies　humbled　beneath　them！　　Mark　how　eagerly　they　set　upon　him

when　he　is　down；　and　how　they　mock　and　deride　him　as　he　slinks

away。　　Why；　it　is　the　pantomime　to　the　very　letter。



Of　all　the　pantomimic　DRAMATIS　PERSONAE；　we　consider　the　pantaloon

the　most　worthless　and　debauched。　　Independent　of　the　dislike　one

naturally　feels　at　seeing　a　gentleman　of　his　years　engaged　in

pursuits　highly　unbecoming　his　gravity　and　time　of　life；　we　cannot

conceal　from　ourselves　the　fact　that　he　is　a　treacherous；　worldly…

minded　old　villain；　constantly　enticing　his　younger　companion；　the

clown；　into　acts　of　fraud　or　petty　larceny；　and　generally　standing

aside　to　watch　the　result　of　the　enterprise。　　If　it　be　successful；

he　never　forgets　to　return　for　his　share　of　the　spoil；　but　if　it

turn　out　a　failure；　he　generally　retires　with　remarkable　caution

and　expedition；　and　keeps　carefully　aloof　until　the　affair　has

blown　over。　　His　amorous　propensities；　too；　are　eminently

disagreeable；　and　his　mode　of　addressing　ladies　in　the　open　street

at　noon…day　is　down…right　improper；　being　usually　neither　more　nor

less　than　a　perceptible　tickling　of　the　aforesaid　ladies　in　the

waist；　after　committing　which；　he　starts　back；　manifestly　ashamed

（as　well　he　may　be）　of　his　own　indecorum　and　temerity；　continuing；

nevertheless；　to　ogle　and　beckon　to　them　from　a　distance　in　a　very

unpleasant　and　immoral　manner。



Is　there　any　man　who　cannot　count　a　dozen　pantaloons　in　his　own

social　circle？　　Is　there　any　man　who　has　not　seen　them　swarming　at

the　west　end　of　the　town　on　a　sunshiny　day　or　a　summer's　evening；

going　through　the　last…named　pantomimic　feats　with　as　much

liquorish　energy；　and　as　total　an　absence　of　reserve；　as　if　they

were　on　the　very　stage　itself？　　We　can　tell　upon　our　fingers　a

dozen　pantaloons　of　our　acquaintance　at　this　moment　…　capital

pantaloons；　who　have　been　performing　all　kinds　of　strange　freaks；

to　the　great　amusement　of　their　friends　and　acquaintance；　for　years

past；　and　who　to　this　day　are　making　such　comical　and　ineffectual

attempts　to　be　young　and　dissolute；　that　all　beholders　are　like　to

die　with　laughter。



Take　that　old　gentleman　who　has　just　emerged　from　the　CAFE　DE

L'EUROPE　in　the　Haymarket；　where　he　has　been　dining　at　the　expense

of　the　young　man　upon　town　with　whom　he　shakes　hands　as　they　part

at　the　door　of　the　tavern。　　The　affected　warmth　of　that　shake　of

the　hand；　the　courteous　nod；　the　obvious　recollection　of　the

dinner；　the　savoury　flavour　of　which　still　hangs　upon　his　lips；　are

all　characteristics　of　his　great　prototype。　　He　hobbles　away

humming　an　opera　tune；　and　twirling　his　cane　to　and　fro；　with

affected　carelessness。　　Suddenly　he　stops　…　'tis　at　the　milliner's

window。　　He　peeps　through　one　of　the　large　panes　of　glass；　and；　his

view　of　the　ladies　within　being　obstructed　by　the　India　shawls；

directs　his　attentions　to　the　young　girl　with　the　band…box　in　her

hand；　who　is　gazing　in　at　the　window　also。　　See！　he　draws　beside

her。　　He　coughs；　she　turns　away　from　him。　　He　draws　near　her　again；

she　disregards　him。　　He　gleefully　chucks　her　under　the　chin；　and；

retreating　a　few　steps；　nods　and　beckons　with　fantastic　grimaces；

while　the　girl　bestows　a　contemptuous　and　supercilious　look　upon

his　wrinkled　visage。　　She　turns　away　with　a　flounce；　and　the　old

gentleman　trots　after　her　with　a　toothless　chuckle。　The　pantaloon

to　the　life！



　But　the　close　resemblance　which　the　clowns　of　the　stage　bear　to

those　of　every…day　life　is　perfectly　extraordinary。　　Some　people

talk　with　a　sigh　of　the　decline　of　pantomime；　and　murmur　in　low　and

dismal　tones　the　name　of　Grimaldi。　　We　mean　no　disparagement　to　the

worthy　and　excellent　old　man　when　we　say　that　this　is　downright

nonsense。　　Clowns　that　beat　Grimaldi　all　to　nothing　turn　up　every

day；　and　nobody　patronizes　them　…　more's　the　pity！



'I　know　who　you　mean；'　says　some　dirty…faced　patron　of　Mr。

Osbaldistone's；　laying　down　the　Miscellany　when　he　has　got　thus

far；　and　bestowing　upon　vacancy　a　most　knowing　glance；　'you　mean　C。

J。　Smith　as　did　Guy　Fawkes；　and　George　Barnwell　at　the　Garden。'

The　dirty…faced　gentleman　has　hardly　uttered　the　words；　when　he　is

interrupted　by　a　young　gentleman　in　no　shirt…collar　and　a　Petersham

coat。　　'No；　no；'　says　the　young　gentleman；　'he　means　Brown；　King；

and　Gibson；　at　the　'Delphi。'　　Now；　with　great　deference　both　to　the

first…named　gentleman　with　the　dirty　face；　and　the　last…named

gentleman　in　the　non…existing　shirt…collar；　we　do　NOT　mean　either

the　performer　who　so　grotesquely　burlesqued　the　Popish　conspirator；

or　the　three　unchangeables　who　have　been　dancing　the　same　dance

under　different　imposing　titles；　and　doing　the　same　thing　under

various　high…sounding　names　for　some　five　or　six　years　last　past。

We　have　no　sooner　made　this　avowal；　than　the　public；　who　have

hitherto　been　silent　witnesses　of　the　dispute；　inquire　what　on

earth　it　is　we　DO　mean；　and；　with　becoming　respect；　we　proceed　to

tell　them。



It　is　very　well　known　to　all　playgoers　and　pantomime…seers；　that

the　scenes　in　which　a　theatrical　clown　is　at　the　very　height　of　his

glory　are　those　which　are　described　in　the　play…bills　as

'Cheesemonger's　shop　and　Crockery　warehouse；'　or　'Tailor's　shop；

and　Mrs。　Queertable's　boarding…house；'　or　places　bearing　some　such

title；　where　the　great　fun　of　the　thing　consists　in　the　hero's

taking　lodgings　which　he　has　not　the　slightest　intention　of　paying

for；　or　obtaining　goods　under　false　pretences；　or　abstracting　the

stock…in…trade　of　the　respectable　shopkeeper　next　door；　or　robbing

warehouse　porters　as　they　pass　under　his　window；　or；　to　shorten　the

catalogue；　in　his　swindling　everybody　he　possibly　can；　it　only

remaining　to　be　observed　that；　the　more　extensive　the　swindling　is；

and　the　more　barefaced　the　impudence　of　the　swindler；　the　greater

the　rapture　and　ecstasy　of　the　audience。　　Now　it　is　a　most

remarkable　fact　that　precisely　this　sort　of　thing　occurs　in　real

life　day　after　day；　and　nobody　sees　the　humour　of　it。　　Let　us

illustrate　our　position　by　detailing　the　plot　of　this　portion　of

the　pantomime　…　not　of　the　theatre；　but　of　life。



The　Honourable　Captain　Fitz…Whisker　Fiercy；　attended　by　his　livery

servant　Do'em　…　a　most　respectable　servant　to　look　at；　who　has

grown　grey　in　the　service　of　the　captain's　family　…　views；　treats

for；　and　ultimately　obtains　possession　of；　the　unfurnished　house；

such　a　number；　such　a　street。　　All　the　tradesmen　in　the

neighbourhood　are　in　agonies　of　competition　for　the　captain's

custom；　the　captain　is　a　good…natured；　kind…hearted；　easy　man；　and；

to　avoid　being　the　cause　of　disappointment　to　any；　he　most

handsomely　gives　orders　to　all。　　Hampers　of　wine；　baskets　of

provisions；　cart…loads　of　furniture；　boxes　of　jewellery；　supplies

of　luxuries　of　the　costliest　description；　flock　to　the　house　of　the

Honourable　Captain　Fitz…Whisker　Fiercy；　where　they　are　received

with　the　utmost　readiness　by　the　highly　respectable　Do'em；　while

the　captain　himself　struts　and　swaggers　about　with　that　compound

air　of　conscious　superiority　and　general　blood…thirstiness　which　a

military　captain　should　always；　and　does　most　times；　wear；　to　the

admiration　and　terror　of　plebeian　men。　　But　the　tradesmen's　backs

are　no　sooner　turned；　than　the　captain；　with　all　the　eccentricity

of　a　mighty　mind；　and　assisted　by　the　faithful　Do'em；　whose　devoted

fidelity　is　not　the　least　touching　part　of　his　character；　disposes

of　everything　to　great　advantage；　for；　although　the　articles　fetch

small　sums；　still　th