the aspern papers- 第14部分

I　invited　myself　to　go　and　get　one　of　the　chairs　that　stood；　at　a　distance；

against　the　wall　（she　had　given　herself　no　concern　as　to　whether　I

should　sit　or　stand）；　and　while　I　placed　it　near　her　I　began；　gaily；

〃Oh；　dear　madam；　what　an　imagination　you　have；　what　an　intellectual　sweep！

I　am　a　poor　devil　of　a　man　of　letters　who　lives　from　day　to　day。

How　can　I　take　palaces　by　the　year？　　My　existence　is　precarious。

I　don't　know　whether　six　months　hence　I　shall　have　bread　to　put　in　my　mouth。

I　have　treated　myself　for　once；　it　has　been　an　immense　luxury。

But　when　it　comes　to　going　on！〃



〃Are　your　rooms　too　dear？　　If　they　are　you　can　have　more　for　the　same　money；〃

Juliana　responded。　　〃We　can　arrange；　we　can　combinare；　as　they　say　here。〃



〃Well　yes；　since　you　ask　me；　they　are　too　dear；〃　I　said。

〃Evidently　you　suppose　me　richer　than　I　am。〃



She　looked　at　me　in　her　barricaded　way。　　〃If　you　write　books

don't　you　sell　them？〃



〃Do　you　mean　don't　people　buy　them？　　A　littlenot　so　much　as　I　could　wish。

Writing　books；　unless　one　be　a　great　geniusand　even　then！is　the　last　road

to　fortune。　　I　think　there　is　no　more　money　to　be　made　by　literature。〃



〃Perhaps　you　don't　choose　good　subjects。　　What　do　you　write　about？〃

Miss　Bordereau　inquired。



〃About　the　books　of　other　people。　　I'm　a　critic；　an　historian；

in　a　small　way。〃　　I　wondered　what　she　was　coming　to。



〃And　what　other　people；　now？〃



〃Oh；　better　ones　than　myself：　　the　great　writers　mainly

the　great　philosophers　and　poets　of　the　past；　those　who　are

dead　and　gone　and　can't　speak　for　themselves。〃



〃And　what　do　you　say　about　them？〃



〃I　say　they　sometimes　attached　themselves　to　very　clever　women！〃

I　answered；　laughing。　　I　spoke　with　great　deliberation；

but　as　my　words　fell　upon　the　air　they　struck　me　as　imprudent。

However；　I　risked　them　and　I　was　not　sorry；　for　perhaps

after　all　the　old　woman　would　be　willing　to　treat。

It　seemed　to　be　tolerably　obvious　that　she　knew　my　secret：

why　therefore　drag　the　matter　out？　　But　she　did　not　take　what　I

had　said　as　a　confession；　she　only　asked：



〃Do　you　think　it's　right　to　rake　up　the　past？〃



〃I　don't　know　that　I　know　what　you　mean　by　raking　it　up；

but　how　can　we　get　at　it　unless　we　dig　a　little？

The　present　has　such　a　rough　way　of　treading　it　down。〃



〃Oh；　I　like　the　past；　but　I　don't　like　critics；〃　the　old　woman　declared

with　her　fine　tranquility。



〃Neither　do　I；　but　I　like　their　discoveries。〃



〃Aren't　they　mostly　lies？〃



〃The　lies　are　what　they　sometimes　discover；〃　I　said；　smiling　at　the　quiet

impertinence　of　this。　　〃They　often　lay　bare　the　truth。〃



〃The　truth　is　God's；　it　isn't　man's；　we　had　better　leave　it　alone。

Who　can　judge　of　itwho　can　say？〃



〃We　are　terribly　in　the　dark；　I　know；〃　I　admitted；　〃but　if　we　give

up　trying　what　becomes　of　all　the　fine　things？　　What　becomes　of

the　work　I　just　mentioned；　that　of　the　great　philosophers　and　poets？

It　is　all　vain　words　if　there　is　nothing　to　measure　it　by。〃



〃You　talk　as　if　you　were　a　tailor；〃　said　Miss　Bordereau　whimsically；

and　then　she　added　quickly；　in　a　different　manner；　〃This　house

is　very　fine；　the　proportions　are　magnificent。　　Today　I　wanted

to　look　at　this　place　again。　　I　made　them　bring　me　out　here。

When　your　man　came；　just　now；　to　learn　if　I　would　see　you；

I　was　on　the　point　of　sending　for　you；　to　ask　if　you　didn't

mean　to　go　on。　　I　wanted　to　judge　what　I'm　letting　you　have。

This　sala　is　very　grand；〃　she　pursued；　like　an　auctioneer；

moving　a　little；　as　I　guessed；　her　invisible　eyes。

〃I　don't　believe　you　often　have　lived　in　such　a　house；　eh？〃



〃I　can't　often　afford　to！〃　　I　said。



〃Well　then；　how　much　will　you　give　for　six　months？〃



I　was　on　the　point　of　exclaimingand　the　air　of　excruciation

in　my　face　would　have　denoted　a　moral　face〃Don't；　Juliana；　for

HIS　sake；　don't！〃　But　I　controlled　myself　and　asked　less　passionately：

〃Why　should　I　remain　so　long　as　that？〃



〃I　thought　you　liked　it；〃　said　Miss　Bordereau　with　her　shriveled　dignity。



〃So　I　thought　I　should。〃



For　a　moment　she　said　nothing　more；　and　I　left　my　own　words　to　suggest

to　her　what　they　might。　　I　half…expected　her　to　say；　coldly　enough；

that　if　I　had　been　disappointed　we　need　not　continue　the　discussion；

and　this　in　spite　of　the　fact　that　I　believed　her　now　to　have　in　her　mind

（however　it　had　come　there）　what　would　have　told　her　that　my　disappointment

was　natural。　　But　to　my　extreme　surprise　she　ended　by　observing：

〃If　you　don't　think　we　have　treated　you　well　enough　perhaps　we　can　discover

some　way　of　treating　you　better。〃　　This　speech　was　somehow　so　incongruous

that　it　made　me　laugh　again；　and　I　excused　myself　by　saying　that　she　talked

as　if　I　were　a　sulky　boy；　pouting　in　the　corner；　to　be　〃brought　round。〃

I　had　not　a　grain　of　complaint　to　make；　and　could　anything　have　exceeded　Miss

Tita's　graciousness　in　accompanying　me　a　few　nights　before　to　the　Piazza？

At　this　the　old　woman　went　on：　　〃Well；　you　brought　it　on　yourself！〃

And　then　in　a　different　tone；　〃She　is　a　very　nice　girl。〃

I　assented　cordially　to　this　proposition；　and　she　expressed　the　hope

that　I　did　so　not　merely　to　be　obliging；　but　that　I　really　liked　her。

Meanwhile　I　wondered　still　more　what　Miss　Bordereau　was　coming　to。

〃Except　for　me；　today；〃　she　said；　〃she　has　not　a　relation　in　the　world。〃

Did　she　by　describing　her　niece　as　amiable　and　unencumbered　wish

to　represent　her　as　a　parti？



It　was　perfectly　true　that　I　could　not　afford　to　go　on　with　my

rooms　at　a　fancy　price　and　that　I　had　already　devoted　to　my

undertaking　almost　all　the　hard　cash　I　had　set　apart　for　it。

My　patience　and　my　time　were　by　no　means　exhausted；　but　I　should

be　able　to　draw　upon　them　only　on　a　more　usual　Venetian　basis。

I　was　willing　to　pay　the　venerable　woman　with　whom　my　pecuniary　dealings

were　such　a　discord　twice　as　much　as　any　other　padrona　di　casa　would

have　asked；　but　I　was　not　willing　to　pay　her　twenty　times　as　much。

I　told　her　so　plainly；　and　my　plainness　appeared　to　have　some　success；

for　she　exclaimed；　〃Very　good；　you　have　done　what　I　asked

you　have　made　an　offer！〃



〃Yes；　but　not　for　half　a　year。　　Only　by　the　month。〃



〃Oh；　I　must　think　of　that　then。〃　　She　seemed　disappointed

that　I　would　not　tie　myself　to　a　period；　and　I　guessed　that　she

wished　both　to　secure　me　and　to　discourage　me；　to　say　severely；

〃Do　you　dream　that　you　can　get　off　with　less　than　six　months？

Do　you　dream　that　even　by　the　end　of　that　time　you　will　be

appreciably　nearer　your　victory？〃　　What　was　more　in　my　mind

was　that　she　had　a　fancy　to　play　me　the　trick　of　making　me

engage　myself　when　in　fact　she　had　annihilated　the　papers。

There　was　a　moment　when　my　suspense　on　this　point　was　so　acute

that　I　all　but　broke　out　with　the　question；　and　what　kept　it　back

was　but　a　kind　of　instinctive　recoil　（lest　it　should　be　a　mistake）；

from　the　last　violence　of　self…exposure。　She　was　such　a　subtle

old　witch　that　one　could　never　tell　where　one　stood　with　her。

You　may　imagine　whether　it　cleared　up　the　puzzle　when；

just　after　she　had　said　she　would　think　of　my　proposal　and　without

any　formal　transition；　she　drew　out　of　her　pocket　with　an

embarrassed　hand　a　small　object　wrapped　in　crumpled　white　paper。

She　held　it　there　a　moment　and　then　she　asked；　〃Do　you　know

much　about　curiosities？〃



〃About　curiosities？〃



〃About　antiquities；　the　old　gimcracks　that　people　pay　so　much　for　today。

Do　you　know　the　kind　of　price　they　bring？〃



I　thought　I　saw　what　was　coming；　but　I　said　ingenuously；

〃Do　you　want　to　buy　something？〃



〃No；　I　want　to　sell。　　What　would　an　amateur　give　me　for　that？〃

She　unfolded　the　white　paper　and　made　a　motion　for　me　to　take　from

her　a　small　oval　portrait。　　I　possessed　myself　of　it　with　a　hand

of　which　I　could　only　hope　that　she　did　not　perceive　the　tremor；

and　she　added；　〃I　would　part　with　it　only　for　a　good　price。〃



At　the　first　glance　I　recognized　Jeffrey　Aspern；　and　I　was　well

aware　that　I　flushed　with　the　act。　　As　she　was　watching　me

however　I　had　the　consistency　to　exclaim；　〃What　a　striking　face！

Do　tell　me　who　it　is。〃



〃It's　an　old　friend　of　mine；　a　very　distinguished　man　in　his　day。

He　gave　it　to　me　himself；　but　I'm　afraid　to　mention　his　name；　lest　you

never　should　have　heard　of　him；　critic　and　historian　as　you　are。

I　know　the　world　goes　fast　and　one　generation　forgets　another。

He　was　all　the　fashion　when　I　was　young。〃



She　was　perhaps　amazed　at　my　assurance；　but　I　was　surprised　at　hers；　at　her

having　the　energy；　in　her　state　of　health　and　at　her　time　of　life；　to　wish

to　sport　with　me　that　way　simply　for　her　private　entertainmentthe　humor

to　test　me　and　practice　on　me。　　This；　at　least；　was　the　interpretation　that　I

put　upon　her　production　of　the　portrait；　for　I　could　not　believe　that　she

really　desired　to　sell　it　or　cared　for　any　information　I　might　give　her。

What　she　wished　was　to　dangle　it　before　my　eyes　and　put　a　prohibitive

price　on　it。　　〃The　face　comes　back　to　me；　it　torments　me；〃　I　said；

turning　the　object　this　way　and　that　and　looking　at　it　very　critically。

It　was　a　careful　but　not　a　supreme　work　of　art；　larger　than　the

ordinary　miniature　and　representing　a　young　man　with　a　remarkably

handsome　face；　in　a　high…collared　green　coat　and　a　buff　waistcoat。

I　judged　the　picture　to　have　a　valuable　quality　of　resemblance　and　to　have

been　painted　when　the　model　was　about　twenty…five　years　old。　　There　are；

as　all　the　world　knows；　three　other　portraits　of　the　poet　in　existence；

but　none　of　them　is　of　so　early　a　date　as　this　elegant　production。

〃I　have　never　seen　the　original　but　I　have　seen　other　likenesses；〃　I　went　on。

〃You　expressed　doubt　of　this　generation　having　heard　of　the　gentleman；

but　he　strikes　me　for　all　the　world　as　a　celebrity。　　Now　who　is　he？

I　can't　put　my　finger　on　himI　can't　give　him　a　label。　　Wasn't　he　a　writer？

Surely　he's　a　poet。〃　　I　was　determined　that　it　shou