skies to hold； and the shallow waters beneath them seemed golden
and brimming and deep enough for the thirst of the gods。
Just round the corner of the College； and visible from his crazy perch；
were the brightest specks on that bright landscape； the villa
with the spotted blinds which he had made his text that night。
He wondered for the first time what people lived in them。
〃Suddenly he called out with mere querulous authority；
as he might have called to a student to shut a door。
〃‘Let me come off this place；' he cried； ‘I can't bear it。'
〃‘I rather doubt if it will bear you；' said Smith critically；
‘but before you break your neck； or I blow out your brains；
or let you back into this room （on which complex points I
am undecided） I want the metaphysical point cleared up。
Do I understand that you want to get back to life？'
〃‘I'd give anything to get back；' replied the unhappy professor。
〃‘Give anything！' cried Smith； ‘then； blast your impudence；
give us a song！'
〃‘What song do you mean？' demanded the exasperated Eames； ‘what song？'
〃‘A hymn； I think； would be most appropriate；' answered the other gravely。
‘I'll let you off if you'll repeat after me the words
〃‘I thank the goodness and the grace
That on my birth have smiled。
And perched me on this curious place；
A happy English child。'
〃Dr。 Emerson Eames having briefly complied； his persecutor abruptly
told him to hold his hands up in the air。 Vaguely connecting this
proceeding with the usual conduct of brigands and bushrangers；
Mr。 Eames held them up； very stiffly； but without marked surprise。
A bird alighting on his stone seat took no more notice of him
than of a comic statue。
〃‘You are now engaged in public worship；' remarked Smith severely；
‘and before I have done with you； you shall thank God for the very ducks
on the pond。'
〃‘The celebrated pessimist half articulately expressed his perfect
readiness to thank God for the ducks on the pond。
〃‘Not forgetting the drakes；' said Smith sternly。
（Eames weakly conceded the drakes。） ‘Not forgetting anything； please。
You shall thank heaven for churches and chapels and villas
and vulgar people and puddles and pots and pans and sticks
and rags and bones and spotted blinds。'
〃‘All right； all right；' repeated the victim in despair；
‘sticks and rags and bones and blinds。'
〃‘Spotted blinds； I think we said；' remarked Smith with a
rogueish ruthlessness； and wagging the pistol…barrel at him
like a long metallic finger。
〃‘Spotted blinds；' said Emerson Eames faintly。
〃‘You can't say fairer than that；' admitted the younger man；
‘and now I'll just tell you this to wind up with。
If you really were what you profess to be； I don't see that it
would matter to snail or seraph if you broke your impious stiff
neck and dashed out all your drivelling devil…worshipping brains。
But in strict biographical fact you are a very nice fellow；
addicted to talking putrid nonsense； and I love you like a brother。
I shall therefore fire off all my cartridges round your head
so as not to hit you （I am a good shot； you may be glad to hear）；
and then we will go in and have some breakfast。'
〃He then let off two barrels in the air； which the Professor
endured with singular firmness； and then said； ‘But don't fire
them all off。'
〃‘Why not' asked the other buoyantly。
〃‘Keep them；' asked his companion； ‘for the next man you meet
who talks as we were talking。'
〃It was at this moment that Smith； looking down； perceived apoplectic
terror upon the face of the Sub…Warden； and heard the refined shriek
with which he summoned the porter and the ladder。
〃It took Dr。 Eames some little time to disentangle himself from
the ladder；and some little time longer to disentangle himself
from the Sub…Warden。 But as soon as he could do so unobtrusively；
he rejoined his companion in the late extraordinary scene。
He was astonished to find the gigantic Smith heavily shaken；
and sitting with his shaggy head on his hands。 When addressed；
he lifted a very pale face。
〃‘Why； what is the matter？' asked Eames； whose own nerves had by this
time twittered themselves quiet； like the morning birds。
〃‘I must ask your indulgence；' said Smith； rather brokenly。
‘I must ask you to realize that I have just had an escape from death。'
〃‘YOU have had an escape from death？' repeated the Professor
in not unpardonable irritation。 ‘Well； of all the cheek'
〃‘Oh； don't you understand； don't you understand？' cried the pale young
man impatiently。 ‘I had to do it； Eames；； I had to prove you wrong or die。
When a man's young； he nearly always has some one whom he thinks the top…water
mark of the mind of mansome one who knows all about it； if anybody knows。
〃‘Well； you were that to me； you spoke with authority；
and not as the scribes。 Nobody could comfort me if YOU
said there was no comfort。 If you really thought there was
nothing anywhere； it was because you had been there to see。
Don't you see that I HAD to prove you didn't really mean it？
or else drown myself in the canal。'
〃‘Well；' said Eames hesitatingly； ‘I think perhaps you confuse'
〃‘Oh； don't tell me that！' cried Smith with the sudden clairvoyance
of mental pain； ‘don't tell me I confuse enjoyment of existence
with the Will to Live！ That's German； and German is High Dutch；
and High Dutch is Double Dutch。 The thing I saw shining in your
eyes when you dangled on that bridge was enjoyment of life 〃the
Will to Live。〃 What you knew when you sat on that damned gargoyle
was that the world； when all is said and done； is a wonderful and
beautiful place； I know it； because I knew it at the same minute。
I saw the gray clouds turn pink； and the little gilt clock in the crack
between the houses。 It was THOSE things you hated leaving； not Life；
whatever that is。 Eames； we've been to the brink of death together；
won't you admit I'm right？'
〃‘Yes； said Eames very slowly； ‘I think you are right。
You shall have a First！'
〃‘Right！' cried Smith； springing up reanimated。 ‘I've passed with honours；
and now let me go and see about being sent down。'
〃‘You needn't be sent down；' said Eames with the quiet
confidence of twelve years of intrigue。 ‘Everything with us
comes from the man on top to the people just round him：
I am the man on top； and I shall tell the people round
me the truth。'
〃‘The massive Mr。 Smith rose and went firmly to the window；
but he spoke with equal firmness。 ‘I must be sent down；'
he said； ‘and the people must not be told the truth。'
〃‘And why not' asked the other。
〃‘Because I mean to follow your advice；' answered the massive youth；
‘I mean to keep the remaining shots for people in the shameful state
you and I were in last nightI wish we could even plead drunkenness。
I mean to keep those bullets for pessimistspills for pale people。
And in this way I want to walk the world like a wonderful surprise
to float as idly as the thistledown； and come as silently as the sunrise；
not to be expected any more than the thunderbolt； not to be
recalled any more than the dying breeze。 I don't want people to
anticipate me as a well…known practical joke。 I want both my gifts
to come virgin and violent； the death and the life after death。
I am going to hold a pistol to the head of the Modern Man。 But I
shall not use it to kill himonly to bring him to life。
I begin to see a new meaning in being the skeleton at the feast。'
〃‘You could scarcely be called a skeleton；' said Dr。 Eames； smiling。
〃‘That comes of being so much at the feast；' answered the massive youth。
‘No skeleton can keep his figure if he is always dining out。
But that is not quite what I meant： what I mean is that I caught
a kind of glimpse of the meaning of death and all thatthe skull
and cross…bones； the ~memento mori~。 It isn't only meant to remind
us of a future life； but to remind us of a present life too。
With our weak spirits we should grow old in eternity if we were not kept
young by death。 Providence has to cut immortality into lengths for us；
as nurses cut the bread and butter into fingers。'
〃Then he added suddenly in a voice of unnatural actuality；
‘But I know something now； Eames。 I knew it when I saw
the clouds turn pink。'
〃‘What do you mean？' asked Eames。 ‘What did you know？'
〃‘I knew for the first time that murder is really wrong。'
〃He gripped Dr。 Eames's hand and groped his way somewhat unsteadily
to the door。 Before he had vanished through it he had added；
‘It's very dangerous； though； when a man thinks for a split second
that he understands death。'
〃Dr。 Eames remained in repose and rumination some hours after his
late assailant had left。 Then he rose； took his hat and umbrella；
and went for a brisk if rotatory walk。 Several times；
however； he stood outside the villa with the spotted blinds；
studying them intently with his head slightly on one side。
Some took him for a lunatic and some for an intending purchaser。
He is not yet sure that the two characters would be widely different。
〃The above narrative has been constructed on a principle which is；
in the opinion of the undersigned persons； new in the art of letters。
Each of the two actors is described as he appeared to the other。
But the undersigned persons absolutely guarantee the exactitude
of the story； and if their version of the thing be questioned； they；
the undersigned persons； would deucedly well like to know who does
know about it if they don't。
〃The undersigned persons will now adjourn to ‘The Spotted Dog'
for beer。 Farewell。
〃（Signed） James Emerson Eames；
〃Warden of Brakespeare College； Cambridge。
〃Innocent Smith。〃
Chapter II
The Two Curates；
or； the Burglary Charge
Arthur Inglewood handed the document he had just read to the leaders
of the prosecution； who examined it with their heads together。
Both the Jew and the American were of sensitive and excitable stocks；
and they revealed by the jumpings and bumpings of the black head and the
yellow that nothing could be done in the w