first epilogue- 第14部分

understanding　and　expressing　each　other's　thoughts　in　ways　contrary　to

all　rules　of　logic；　without　premises；　deductions；　or　conclusions；

and　in　a　quite　peculiar　way。　Natasha　was　so　used　to　this　kind　of

talk　with　her　husband　that　for　her　it　was　the　surest　sign　of　something

being　wrong　between　them　if　Pierre　followed　a　line　of　logical

reasoning。　When　he　began　proving　anything；　or　talking

argumentatively　and　calmly　and　she；　led　on　by　his　example；　began　to　do

the　same；　she　knew　that　they　were　on　the　verge　of　a　quarrel。

　　From　the　moment　they　were　alone　and　Natasha　came　up　to　him　with

wide…open　happy　eyes；　and　quickly　seizing　his　head　pressed　it　to　her

bosom；　saying：　〃Now　you　are　all　mine；　mine！　You　won't　escape！〃…　from

that　moment　this　conversation　began；　contrary　to　all　the　laws　of　logic

and　contrary　to　them　because　quite　different　subjects　were　talked

about　at　one　and　the　same　time。　This　simultaneous　discussion　of　many

topics　did　not　prevent　a　clear　understanding　but　on　the　contrary　was

the　surest　sign　that　they　fully　understood　one　another。

　　Just　as　in　a　dream　when　all　is　uncertain；　unreasoning；　and

contradictory；　except　the　feeling　that　guides　the　dream；　so　in　this

intercourse　contrary　to　all　laws　of　reason；　the　words　themselves

were　not　consecutive　and　clear　but　only　the　feeling　that　prompted

them。

　　Natasha　spoke　to　Pierre　about　her　brother's　life　and　doings；　of

how　she　had　suffered　and　lacked　life　during　his　own　absence；　and　of

how　she　was　fonder　than　ever　of　Mary；　and　how　Mary　was　in　every　way

better　than　herself。　In　saying　this　Natasha　was　sincere　in

acknowledging　Mary's　superiority；　but　at　the　same　time　by　saying　it

she　made　a　demand　on　Pierre　that　he　should；　all　the　same；　prefer　her

to　Mary　and　to　all　other　women；　and　that　now；　especially　after

having　seen　many　women　in　Petersburg；　he　should　tell　her　so　afresh。

　　Pierre；　answering　Natasha's　words；　told　her　how　intolerable　it　had

been　for　him　to　meet　ladies　at　dinners　and　balls　in　Petersburg。

　　〃I　have　quite　lost　the　knack　of　talking　to　ladies；〃　he　said。　〃It　was

simply　dull。　Besides；　I　was　very　busy。〃

　　Natasha　looked　intently　at　him　and　went　on：

　　〃Mary　is　so　splendid；〃　she　said。　〃How　she　understands　children！　It

is　as　if　she　saw　straight　into　their　souls。　Yesterday；　for　instance；

Mitya　was　naughty。。。〃

　　〃How　like　his　father　he　is；〃　Pierre　interjected。

　　Natasha　knew　why　he　mentioned　Mitya's　likeness　to　Nicholas：　the

recollection　of　his　dispute　with　his　brother…in…law　was　unpleasant　and

he　wanted　to　know　what　Natasha　thought　of　it。

　　〃Nicholas　has　the　weakness　of　never　agreeing　with　anything　not

generally　accepted。　But　I　understand　that　you　value　what　opens　up　a

fresh　line；〃　said　she；　repeating　words　Pierre　had　once　uttered。

　　〃No；　the　chief　point　is　that　to　Nicholas　ideas　and　discussions　are

an　amusement…　almost　a　pastime；〃　said　Pierre。　〃For　instance；　he　is

collecting　a　library　and　has　made　it　a　rule　not　to　buy　a　new　book　till

he　has　read　what　he　had　already　bought…　Sismondi　and　Rousseau　and

Montesquieu；〃　he　added　with　a　smile。　〃You　know　how　much　I。。。〃　he　began

to　soften　down　what　he　had　said；　but　Natasha　interrupted　him　to　show

that　this　was　unnecessary。

　　〃So　you　say　ideas　are　an　amusement　to　him。。。。〃

　　〃Yes；　and　for　me　nothing　else　is　serious。　All　the　time　in　Petersburg

I　saw　everyone　as　in　a　dream。　When　I　am　taken　up　by　a　thought；　all

else　is　mere　amusement。〃

　　〃Ah；　I'm　so　sorry　I　wasn't　there　when　you　met　the　children；〃　said

Natasha。　〃Which　was　most　delighted？　Lisa；　I'm　sure。〃

　　〃Yes；〃　Pierre　replied；　and　went　on　with　what　was　in　his　mind。

〃Nicholas　says　we　ought　not　to　think。　But　I　can't　help　it。　Besides；

when　I　was　in　Petersburg　I　felt　（I　can　this　to　you）　that　the　whole

affair　would　go　to　pieces　without　me…　everyone　was　pulling　his　own

way。　But　I　succeeded　in　uniting　them　all；　and　then　my　idea　is　so　clear

and　simple。　You　see；　I　don't　say　that　we　ought　to　oppose　this　and

that。　We　may　be　mistaken。　What　I　say　is：　'Join　hands；　you　who　love　the

right；　and　let　there　be　but　one　banner…　that　of　active　virtue。'　Prince

Sergey　is　a　fine　fellow　and　clever。〃

　　Natasha　would　have　had　no　doubt　as　to　the　greatness　of　Pierre's

idea；　but　one　thing　disconcerted　her。　〃Can　a　man　so　important　and

necessary　to　society　be　also　my　husband？　How　did　this　happen？〃　She

wished　to　express　this　doubt　to　him。　〃Now　who　could　decide　whether

he　is　really　cleverer　than　all　the　others？〃　she　asked　herself；　and

passed　in　review　all　those　whom　Pierre　most　respected。　Judging　by　what

he　had　said　there　was　no　one　he　had　respected　so　highly　as　Platon

Karataev。

　　〃Do　you　know　what　I　am　thinking　about？〃　she　asked。　〃About　Platon

Karataev。　Would　he　have　approved　of　you　now；　do　you　think？〃

　　Pierre　was　not　at　all　surprised　at　this　question。　He　understood

his　wife's　line　of　thought。

　　〃Platon　Karataev？〃　he　repeated；　and　pondered；　evidently　sincerely

trying　to　imagine　Karataev's　opinion　on　the　subject。　〃He　would　not

have　understood。。。　yet　perhaps　he　would。〃

　　〃I　love　you　awfully！〃　Natasha　suddenly　said。　〃Awfully；　awfully！〃

　　〃No；　he　would　not　have　approved；〃　said　Pierre；　after　reflection。

〃What　he　would　have　approved　of　is　our　family　life。　He　was　always　so

anxious　to　find　seemliness；　happiness；　and　peace　in　everything；　and

I　should　have　been　proud　to　let　him　see　us。　There　now…　you　talk　of

my　absence；　but　you　wouldn't　believe　what　a　special　feeling　I　have　for

you　after　a　separation。。。。〃

　　〃Yes；　I　should　think。。。〃　Natasha　began。

　　〃No；　it's　not　that。　I　never　leave　off　loving　you。　And　one　couldn't

love　more；　but　this　is　something　special。。。。　Yes；　of　course…〃　he　did

not　finish　because　their　eyes　meeting　said　the　rest。

　　〃What　nonsense　it　is；〃　Natasha　suddenly　exclaimed；　〃about

honeymoons；　and　that　the　greatest　happiness　is　at　first！　On　the

contrary；　now　is　the　best　of　all。　If　only　you　did　not　go　away！　Do

you　remember　how　we　quarreled？　And　it　was　always　my　fault。　Always

mine。　And　what　we　quarreled　about…　I　don't　even　remember！〃

　　〃Always　about　the　same　thing；〃　said　Pierre　with　a　smile。　〃Jealo。。。〃

　　〃Don't　say　it！　I　can't　bear　it！〃　Natasha　cried；　and　her　eyes

glittered　coldly　and　vindictively。　〃Did　you　see　her？〃　she　added；　after

a　pause。

　　〃No；　and　if　I　had　I　shouldn't　have　recognized　her。〃

　　They　were　silent　for　a　while。

　　〃Oh；　do　you　know？　While　you　were　talking　in　the　study　I　was

looking　at　you；〃　Natasha　began；　evidently　anxious　to　disperse　the

cloud　that　had　come　over　them。　〃You　are　as　like　him　as　two　peas…

like　the　boy。〃　（She　meant　her　little　son。）　〃Oh；　it's　time　to　go　to

him。。。。　The　milk's　come。。。。　But　I'm　sorry　to　leave　you。〃

　　They　were　silent　for　a　few　seconds。　Then　suddenly　turning　to　one

another　at　the　same　time　they　both　began　to　speak。　Pierre　began　with

self…satisfaction　and　enthusiasm；　Natasha　with　a　quiet；　happy　smile。

Having　interrupted　one　another　they　both　stopped　to　let　the　other

continue。

　　〃No。　What　did　you　say？　Go　on；　go　on。〃

　　〃No；　you　go　on；　I　was　talking　nonsense；〃　said　Natasha。

　　Pierre　finished　what　he　had　begun。　It　was　the　sequel　to　his

complacent　reflections　on　his　success　in　Petersburg。　At　that　moment　it

seemed　to　him　that　he　was　chosen　to　give　a　new　direction　to　the

whole　of　Russian　society　and　to　the　whole　world。

　　〃I　only　wished　to　say　that　ideas　that　have　great　results　are

always　simple　ones。　My　whole　idea　is　that　if　vicious　people　are　united

and　constitute　a　power；　then　honest　folk　must　do　the　same。　Now

that's　simple　enough。〃

　　〃Yes。〃

　　〃And　what　were　you　going　to　say？〃

　　〃I？　Only　nonsense。〃

　　〃But　all　the　same？〃

　　〃Oh　nothing；　only　a　trifle；〃　said　Natasha；　smilingly　still　more

brightly。　〃I　only　wanted　to　tell　you　about　Petya：　today　nurse　was

coming　to　take　him　from　me；　and　he　laughed；　shut　his　eyes；　and　clung

to　me。　I'm　sure　he　thought　he　was　hiding。　Awfully　sweet！　There；　now

he's　crying。　Well；　good…by！〃　and　she　left　the　room。



　　Meanwhile　downstairs　in　young　Nicholas　Bolkonski's　bedroom　a

little　lamp　was　burning　as　usual。　（The　boy　was　afraid　of　the　dark

and　they　could　not　cure　him　of　it。）　Dessalles　slept　propped　up　on　four

pillows　and　his　Roman　nose　emitted　sounds　of　rhythmic　snoring。

Little　Nicholas；　who　had　just　waked　up　in　a　cold　perspiration；　sat

up　in　bed　and　gazed　before　him　with　wide…open　eyes。　He　had　awaked　from

a　terrible　dream。　He　had　dreamed　that　he　and　Uncle　Pierre；　wearing

helmets　such　as　were　depicted　in　his　Plutarch；　were　leading　a　huge

army。　The　army　was　made　up　of　white　slanting　lines　that　filled　the　air

like　the　cobwebs　that　float　about　in　autumn　and　which　Dessalles　called

les　fils　de　la　Vierge。　In　front　was　Glory；　which　was　similar　to

those　threads　but　rather　thicker。　He　and　Pierre　were　borne　along

lightly　and　joyously；　nearer　and　nearer　to　their　goal。　Suddenly　the

threads　that　moved　them　began　to　slacken　and　become　entangled　and　it

grew　difficult　to　move。　And　Uncle　Nicholas　stood　before　them　in　a

stern　and　threatening　attitude。

　　〃Have　you　done　this？〃　he　said；　pointing　to　some　broken　sealing　wax

and　pens。　〃I　loved　you；　but　I　have　orders　from　Arakcheev　and　will　kill

the　first　of　you　who　moves　forward。〃　Little　Nicholas　turned　to　look　at

Pierre　but　Pierre　was　no　longer　there。　In　his　place　was　his　father…

Prince　Andrew…　and　his　father　had　neither　shape　nor　form；　but　he

existed；　and　when　little　Nicholas　perceived　him　he　grew　faint　with

love：　he　felt　himself　powerless；　limp；　and　formless。　His　father

caressed　and　pitied　him。　But　Uncle　Nicholas　came　nearer　and　nearer

to　them。　Terror　seized　young　Nicholas　and　he　awoke。

　　〃My　father！〃　he　thought。　（Though　there　were　two　good　portraits　of

Prince　Andrew　in　the　house；　Nicholas　never　imagined　him　in　human

form。）　〃My　father　has　been　with　me　and　caressed　me。　He　approved　of

me　and　of　Uncle　Pierre。　Whatever　he　may　tell　me；　I　will　do　it。

Mucius　Scaevola　burned　his　hand。　Why　should　not　the　same　sort　of　thing

happen　to　me？　I　know　they　want　me　to　learn。　And　I　will　lear