the rest his brother wouldn't take him up…stairs to get。 Luigi listened
a moment to Angelo's regular breathing； then said in a voice barely
audible：
〃We were both born at the same time； but I am six months older than he
is。〃
〃For the land's sake！〃
〃'Sh！ don't wake him up； he wouldn't like my telling this。 It has
always been kept secret till now。〃
〃But how in the world can it be？ If you were both born at the same time；
how can one of you be older than the other？〃
〃It is very simple； and I assure you it is true。 I was born with a full
crop of hair； he was as bald as an egg for six months。 I could walk six
months before he could make a step。 I finished teething six months ahead
of him。 I began to take solids six months before he left the breast。
I began to talk six months before he could say a word。 Last； and
absolutely unassailable proof； the sutures in my skull closed six months
ahead of his。 Always just that six months' difference to a day。 Was
that accident？ Nobody is going to claim that； I'm sure。 It was ordained
it was law it had its meaning； and we know what that meaning was。 Now
what does this overwhelming body of evidence establish？ It establishes
just one thing； and that thing it establishes beyond any peradventure
whatever。 Friends； we would not have it known for the world； and I must
beg you to keep it strictly to yourselves； but the truth is； we are no
more twins than you are。〃
The two old ladies were stunned； paralyzed…petrified； one may almost say
and could only sit and gaze vacantly at each other for some moments；
then Aunt Betsy Hale said impressively：
〃There's no getting around proof like that。 I do believe it's the most
amazing thing I ever heard of。〃 She sat silent a moment or two and
breathing hard with excitement； then she looked up and surveyed the
strangers steadfastly a little while； and added： 〃Well； it does beat me；
but I would have took you for twins anywhere。〃
〃So would I； so would I；〃 said Aunt Patsy with the emphasis of a
certainty that is not impaired by any shade of doubt。
〃Anybody would…anybody in the world； I don't care who he is；〃 said Aunt
Betsy with decision。
〃You won't tell；〃 said Luigi； appealingly。
〃Oh； dear； no！〃 answered both ladies promptly； 〃you can trust us； don't
you be afraid。〃
〃That is good of you； and kind。 Never let on； treat us always as if we
were twins。〃
〃You can depend on us；〃 said Aunt Betsy； 〃but it won't be easy； because
now that I know you ain't you don't seem so。〃
Luigi muttered to himself with satisfaction： 〃That swindle has gone
through without change of cars。〃
It was not very kind of him to load the poor things up with a secret like
that； which would be always flying to their tongues' ends every time they
heard any one speak of the strangers as twins； and would become harder
and harder to hang on to with every recurrence of the temptation to tell
it； while the torture of retaining it would increase with every new
strain that was applied； but he never thought of that； and probably would
not have worried much about it if he had。
A visitor was announcedsome one to see the twins。 They withdrew to the
parlor； and the two old ladies began to discuss with interest the strange
things which they had been listening to。 When they had finished the
matter to their satisfaction； and Aunt Betsy rose to go； she stopped to
ask a question：
〃How does things come on between Roweny and Tom Driscoll？〃
〃Well； about the same。 He writes tolerable often； and she answers
tolerable seldom。〃
〃Where is he？〃
〃In St。 Louis； I believe； though he's such a gadabout that a body can't
be very certain of him； I reckon。〃
〃Don't Roweny know？〃
〃Oh； yes； like enough。 I haven't asked her lately。〃
〃Do you know how him and the judge are getting along now？〃
〃First rate； I believe。 Mrs。 Pratt says so； and being right in the
house； and sister to the one and aunt to t'other； of course she ought to
know。 She says the judge is real fond of him when he's away； but frets
when he's around and is vexed with his ways； and not sorry to have him go
again。 He has been gone three weeks this timea pleasant thing for both
of them； I reckon。〃
〃Tom's rather harum…scarum； but there ain't anything bad in him； I
guess。〃
〃Oh； no； he's just young； that's all。 Still； twenty…three is old； in one
way。 A young man ought to be earning his living by that time。 If Tom
were doing that； or was even trying to do it； the judge would be a heap
better satisfied with him。 Tom's always going to begin； but somehow he
can't seem to find just the opening he likes。〃
〃Well； now； it's partly the judge's own fault。 Promising the boy his
property wasn't the way to set him to earning a fortune of his own。 But
what do you think is Roweny beginning to lean any toward him； or ain't
she？〃
Aunt Patsy had a secret in her bosom； she wanted to keep it there； but
nature was too strong for her。 She drew Aunt Betsy aside； and said in
her most confidential and mysterious manner：
〃Don't you breathe a syllable to a soulI'm going to tell you something。
In my opinion Tom Driscoll's chances were considerable better yesterday
than they are to…day。〃
〃Patsy Cooper； what do you mean？〃
〃It's so； as sure as you're born。 I wish you could 'a' been at breakfast
and seen for yourself。〃
〃You don't mean it！〃
〃Well； if I'm any judge； there's a leaningthere's a leaning； sure。〃
〃My land！ Which one of 'em is it？〃
〃I can't say for certain； but I think it's the youngest oneAnjy。〃
Then there were hand…shakings； and congratulations； and hopes； and so on；
and the old ladies parted； perfectly happythe one in knowing something
which the rest of the town didn't； and the other in having been the sole
person able to furnish that knowledge。
The visitor who had called to see the twins was the Rev。 Mr。 Hotchkiss；
pastor of the Baptist church。 At the reception Angelo had told him he
had lately experienced a change in his religious views； and was now
desirous of becoming a Baptist； and would immediately join Mr。
Hotchkiss's church。 There was no time to say more； and the brief talk
ended at that point。 The minister was much gratified； and had dropped in
for a moment now； to invite the twins to attend his Bible class at eight
that evening。 Angelo accepted； and was expecting Luigi to decline； but
he did not； because he knew that the Bible class and the Freethinkers met
in the same room； and he wanted to treat his brother to the embarrassment
of being caught in free…thinking company。
CHAPTER V
GUILT AND INNOCENCE FINELY BLENT
＇A long and vigorous quarrel follows； between the twins。 And there is
plenty to quarrel about； for Angelo was always seeking truth； and this
obliged him to change and improve his religion with frequency； which
wearied Luigi； and annoyed him too； for he had to be present at each new
enlistmentwhich placed him in the false position of seeming to indorse
and approve his brother's fickleness； moreover； he had to go to Angelo's
prohibition meetings； and he hated them。 On the other hand； when it was
his week to command the legs he gave Angelo just cause of complaint； for
he took him to circuses and horse…races and fandangoes； exposing him to
all sorts of censure and criticism； and he drank； too； and whatever he
drank went to Angelo's head instead of his own and made him act
disgracefully。 When the evening was come； the two attended the Free…
thinkers' meeting； where Angelo was sad and silent； then came the Bible
class and looked upon him coldly； finding him in such company。 Then they
went to Wilson's house and Chapter XI of Pudd'nhead Wilson follows； which
tells of the girl seen in Tom Driscoll's room； and closes with the
kicking of Tom by Luigi at the anti…temperance mass…meeting of the Sons
of Liberty； with the addition of some account of Roxy's adventures as a
chamber…maid on a Mississippi boat。 Her exchange of the children had
been flippantly and farcically described in an earlier chapter。
Next morning all the town was a…buzz with great news； Pudd'nhead Wilson
had a law case！ The； public astonishment was so great and the public
curiosity so intense； that when the justice of the peace opened his
court； the place was packed with people and even the windows were full。
Everybody was； flushed and perspiring； the summer heat was almost
unendurable。
Tom Driscoll had brought a charge of assault and battery against the
twins。 Robert Allen was retained by Driscoll； David Wilson by the
defense。 Tom； his native cheerfulness unannihilated by his back…breaking
and bone…bruising passage across the massed heads of the Sons of Liberty
the previous night； laughed his little customary laugh； and said to
Wilson：
〃I've kept my promise； you see； I'm throwing my business your way。
Sooner than I was expecting； too。〃
〃It's very good of youparticularly if you mean to keep it up。〃
〃Well； I can't tell about that yet。 But we'll see。 If I find you
deserve it I'll take you under my protection and make your fame and
fortune for you。〃
〃I'll try to deserve it； Tom。〃
A jury was sworn in； then Mr。 Allen said：
〃We will detain your honor but a moment with this case。 It is not one
where any doubt of the fact of the assault can enter in。 These
gentlementhe accusedkicked my client at the Market Hall last night；
they kicked him with violence； with extraordinary violence； with even
unprecedented violence； I may say； insomuch that he was lifted entirely
off his feet and discharged into the midst of the audience。 We can prove
this by four hundred witnesseswe shall call but three。 Mr。 Harkness
will take the stand。〃
Mr。 Harkness； being sworn； testified that he was chairman upon the
occasion mentioned； that he was close at hand and saw the defendants in
this action kick the plaintiff into the air and saw him descend among the
audience。
〃Take the witness；〃 said Allen。
〃Mr。 Harkness；〃 said Wilson； 〃you say you saw these gentlemen； my
clients； kick the plaintiff。 Are you sureand please remember that you
are on oathare you perfectly sure that you saw both of them kick him；
or only one？ Now be careful。〃
A bewildered look began t