Peters。 It was in February； I remember because I had venturedwith
incredible daringto send Nancy an elaborate； rosy Valentine； written on
the back of it in a handwriting all too thinly disguised was the
following verse； the triumphant result of much hard thinking in school
hours：
Should you of this the sender guess
Without another sign；
Would you repent； and rest content
To be his Valentine
I grew hot and cold by turns when I thought of its possible effects on my
chances。
One of those useless； slushy afternoons； I took Tom for a walk that led
us； as dusk came on； past Nancy's house。 Only by painful degrees did I
succeed in overcoming my bashfulness； but Tom； when at last I had blurted
out the secret； was most sympathetic； although the ailment from which I
suffered was as yet outside of the realm of his experience。 I have used
the word 〃ailment〃 advisedly； since he evidently put my trouble in the
same category with diphtheria or scarlet fever； remarking that it was
〃darned hard luck。〃 In vain I sought to explain that I did not regard it
as such in the least； there was suffering； I admitted； but a degree of
bliss none could comprehend who had not felt it。 He refused to be
envious； or at least to betray envy； yet he was curious； asking many
questions； and I had reason to think before we parted that his admiration
for me was increased。 Was it possible that he； too； didn't love Nancy？
No； it was funny； but he didn't。 He failed to see much in girls： his
tone remained commiserating； yet he began to take an interest in the
progress of my suit。
For a time I had no progress to report。 Out of consideration for those
members of our weekly dancing class whose parents were Episcopalians the
meetings were discontinued during Lent； and to call would have demanded a
courage not in me； I should have become an object of ridicule among my
friends and I would have died rather than face Nancy's mother and the
members of her household。 I set about making ingenious plans with a view
to encounters that might appear casual。 Nancy's school was dismissed at
two； so was mine。 By walking fast I could reach Salisbury Street； near
St。 Mary's Seminary for Young Ladies； in time to catch her； but even then
for many days I was doomed to disappointment。 She was either in company
with other girls； or else she had taken another route； this I surmised
led past Sophy McAlery's house； and I enlisted Tom as a confederate。 He
was to make straight for the McAlery's on Elm while I followed Powell；
two short blocks away； and if Nancy went to Sophy's and left there alone
he was to announce the fact by a preconcerted signal。 Through long and
persistent practice he had acquired a whistle shrill enough to wake the
dead； accomplished by placing a finger of each hand between his teeth；a
gift that was the envy of his acquaintances； and the subject of much
discussion as to whether his teeth were peculiar。 Tom insisted that they
were； it was an added distinction。
On this occasion he came up behind Nancy as she was leaving Sophy's gate
and immediately sounded the alarm。 She leaped in the air； dropped her
school…books and whirled on him。
〃Tom Peters！ How dare you frighten me so！〃 she cried。
Tom regarded her in sudden dismay。
〃II didn't mean to；〃 he said。 〃I didn't think you were so near。〃
〃But you must have seen me。〃
〃I wasn't paying much attention；〃 he equivocated；a remark not
calculated to appease her anger。
〃Why were you doing it？〃
〃I was just practising；〃 said Tom。
〃Practising！〃 exclaimed Nancy； scornfully。 〃I shouldn't think you needed
to practise that any more。〃
〃Oh； I've done it louder；〃 he declared； 〃Listen！〃
She seized his hands； snatching them away from his lips。 At this
critical moment I appeared around the corner considerably out of breath；
my heart beating like a watchman's rattle。 I tried to feign nonchalance。
〃Hello； Tom；〃 I said。 〃Hello； Nancy。 What's the matter？〃
〃It's Tomhe frightened me out of my senses。〃 Dropping his wrists； she
gave me a most disconcerting look； there was in it the suspicion of a
smile。 〃What are you doing here； Hugh？〃
〃I heard Tom；〃 I explained。
〃I should think you might have。 Where were you？〃
〃Over in another street；〃 I answered； with deliberate vagueness。 Nancy
had suddenly become demure。 I did not dare look at her； but I had a most
uncomfortable notion that she suspected the plot。 Meanwhile we had begun
to walk along； all three of us； Tom； obviously ill at ease and
discomfited； lagging a little behind。 Just before we reached the corner
I managed to kick him。 His departure was by no means graceful。
〃I've got to go；〃 he announced abruptly； and turned down the side street。
We watched his sturdy figure as it receded。
〃Well； of all queer boys！〃 said Nancy； and we walked on again。
〃He's my best friend；〃 I replied warmly。
〃He doesn't seem to care much for your company；〃 said Nancy。
〃Oh； they have dinner at half past two；〃 I explained。
〃Aren't you afraid of missing yours； Hugh？〃 she asked wickedly。
〃I've got time。 I'dI'd rather be with you。〃 After making which
audacious remark I was seized by a spasm of apprehension。 But nothing
happened。 Nancy remained demure。 She didn't remind me that I had
reflected upon Tom。
〃That's nice of you； Hugh。〃
〃Oh； I'm not saying it because it's nice；〃 I faltered。 〃I'd rather be
with you thanwith anybody。〃
This was indeed the acme of daring。 I couldn't believe I had actually
said it。 But again I received no rebuke； instead came a remark that set
me palpitating； that I treasured for many weeks to come。
〃I got a very nice valentine；〃 she informed me。
〃What was it like？〃 I asked thickly。
〃Oh； beautiful！ All pink lace andand Cupids； and the picture of a young
man and a young woman in a garden。〃
〃Was that all？〃
〃Oh； no； there was a verse； in the oddest handwriting。 I wonder who sent
it？〃
〃Perhaps Ralph；〃 I hazarded ecstatically。
〃Ralph couldn't write poetry；〃 she replied disdainfully。 〃Besides； it
was very good poetry。〃
I suggested other possible authors and admirers。 She rejected them all。
We reached her gate； and I lingered。 As she looked down at me from the
stone steps her eyes shone with a soft light that filled me with
radiance； and into her voice had come a questioning； shy note that
thrilled the more because it revealed a new Nancy of whom I had not
dreamed。
〃Perhaps I'll meet you againcoming from school；〃 I said。
〃Perhaps；〃 she answered。 〃You'll be late to dinner； Hugh； if you don't
go。。。。〃
I was late； and unable to eat much dinner； somewhat to my mother's alarm。
Love had taken away my appetite。。。。 After dinner； when I was wandering
aimlessly about the yard； Tom appeared on the other side of the fence。
〃Don't ever ask me to do that again；〃 he said gloomily。
I did meet Nancy again coming from school； not every day； but nearly
every day。 At first we pretended that there was no arrangement in this；
and we both feigned surprise when we encountered one another。 It was
Nancy who possessed the courage that I lacked。 One afternoon she said：
〃I think I'd better walk with the girls to…morrow； Hugh。〃
I protested； but she was firm。 And after that it was an understood thing
that on certain days I should go directly home； feeling like an exile。
Sophy McAlery had begun to complain： and I gathered that Sophy was
Nancy's confidante。 The other girls had begun to gossip。 It was Nancy
who conceived the brilliant ideathe more delightful because she said
nothing about it to meof making use of Sophy。 She would leave school
with Sophy； and I waited on the corner near the McAlery house。 Poor
Sophy！ She was always of those who piped while others danced。 In those
days she had two straw…coloured pigtails； and her plain； faithful face is
before me as I write。 She never betrayed to me the excitement that
filled her at being the accomplice of our romance。
Gossip raged； of course。 Far from being disturbed； we used it； so to
speak； as a handle for our love…making； which was carried on in an
inferential rather than a direct fashion。 Were they saying that we were
lovers？ Delightful！ We laughed at one another in the sunshine。。。。 At
last we achieved the great adventure of a clandestine meeting and went
for a walk in the afternoon； avoiding the houses of our friends。 I've
forgotten which of us had the boldness to propose it。 The crocuses and
tulips had broken the black mould； the flower beds in the front yards
were beginning to blaze with scarlet and yellow； the lawns had turned a
living green。 What did we talk about？ The substance has vanished； only
the flavour remains。
One awoke of a morning to the twittering of birds； to walk to school
amidst delicate； lace…like shadows of great trees acloud with old gold：
the buds lay curled like tiny feathers on the pavements。 Suddenly the
shade was dense； the sunlight white and glaring； the odour of lilacs
heavy in the air； spring in all its fulness had come；spring and Nancy。
Just so subtly； yet with the same seeming suddenness had budded and come
to leaf and flower a perfect understanding ；which nevertheless remained
undefined。 This； I had no doubt； was my fault； and due to the
incomprehensible shyness her presence continued to inspire。 Although we
did not altogether abandon our secret trysts； we began to meet in more
natural ways； there were garden parties and picnics where we strayed
together through the woods and fields； pausing to tear off； one by one；
the petals of a daisy； 〃She loves me； she loves me not。〃 I never
ventured to kiss her； I always thought afterwards I might have done so；
she had seemed so willing； her eyes had shone so expectantly as I sat
beside her on the grass； nor can I tell why I desired to kiss her save
that this was the traditional thing to do to the lady one loved。 To be
sure； the very touch of her hand was galvanic。 Paradoxically； I saw the
human side of her； the yielding gentleness that always amazed me； yet I
never overcame my awe of the divine； she was a being sacrosanct。 Whether
this idealism were