a far country- 第49部分

I　admitted　that　he　was。

〃And　you　always　went　there　such　a　lot　before　we　were　married。〃

This；　too；　was　undeniable。　　〃At　the　same　time；〃　I　replied；　〃I　have　other
friends。　　I'm　fond　of　the　Blackwoods　and　the　Peterses；　I'm　not　advocating
seeing　less　of　them；　but　their　point　of　view；　if　taken　without　any
antidote；　is　rather　narrowing。　　We　ought　to　see　all　kinds；〃　I　suggested；
with　a　fine　restraint。

〃You　meanmore　worldly　people；〃　she　said　with　her　disconcerting
directness。

〃Not　necessarily　worldly；〃　I　struggled　on。　　〃People　who　know　more　of　the
worldyes；　who　understand　it　better。〃

Maude　sighed。

〃I　do　try；　Hugh；I　return　their　calls；I　do　try　to　be　nice　to　them。
But　somehow　I　don't　seem　to　get　along　with　them　easilyI'm　not　myself；
they　make　me　shy。　　It's　because　I'm　provincial。〃

〃Nonsense！〃　I　protested；　〃you're　not　a　bit　provincial。〃　　And　it　was　true；
her　dignity　and　self…possession　redeemed　her。

Nancy　was　not　once　mentioned。　　But　I　think　she　was　in　both　our　minds。。。。

Since　my　marriage；　too；　I　had　begun　to　resent　a　little　the　attitude　of
Tom　and　Susan　and　the　Blackwoods　of　humorous　yet　affectionate　tolerance
toward　my　professional　activities　and　financial　creed；　though　Maude
showed　no　disposition　to　take　this　seriously。　　I　did　suspect；　however；
that　they　were　more　and　more　determined　to　rescue　Maude　from　what　they
would　have　termed　a　frivolous　career；　and　on　one　of　these　occasionsso
exasperating　in　married　life　when　a　slight　cause　for　pique　tempts　husband
or　wife　to　try　to　ask　myself　whether　this　affair　were　only　a　squall；
something　to　be　looked　for　once　in　a　while　on　the　seas　of　matrimony；　and
weathered：　or　whether　Maude　had　not；　after　all；　been　right　when　she
declared　that　I　had　made　a　mistake；　and　that　we　were　not　fitted　for　one
another？　　In　this　gloomy　view　endless　years　of　incompatibility　stretched
ahead；　and　for　the　first　time　I　began　to　rehearse　with　a　certain　cold
detachment　the　chain　of　apparently　accidental　events　which　had　led　up　to
my　marriage：　to　consider　the　gradual　blindness　that　had　come　over　my
faculties；　and　finally　to　wonder　whether　judgment　ever　entered　into
sexual　selection。　　Would　Maude　have　relapsed　into　this　senseless　fit　if
she　had　realized　how　fortunate　she　was？　　For　I　was　prepared　to　give　her
what　thousands　of　women　longed　for；　position　and　influence。　　My
resentment　rose　again　against　Perry　and　Tom；　and　I　began　to　attribute
their　lack　of　appreciation　of　my　achievements　to　jealousy。　　They　had　not
my　ability；　this　was　the　long　and　short　of　it。。。。　　I　pondered　also；
regretfully；　on　my　bachelor　days。　　And　for　the　first　time；　I；　who　had
worked　so　hard　to　achieve　freedom；　felt　the　pressure　of　the　yoke　I　had
fitted　over　my　own　shoulders。　　I　had　voluntarily；　though　unwittingly；
returned　to　slavery。　　This　was　what　had　happened。　　And　what　was　to　be
done　about　it？　　I　would　not　consider　divorce。

Well；　I　should　have　to　make　the　best　of　it。　　Whether　this　conclusion
brought　on　a　mood　of　reaction；　I　am　unable　to　say。　　I　was　still　annoyed
by　what　seemed　to　the　masculine　mind　a　senseless　and　dramatic　performance
on　Maude's　part；　an　incomprehensible　case　of　〃nerves。〃　　Nevertheless；
there　stole　into　my　mind　many　recollections　of　Maude's　affection；　many
passages　between　us；　and　my　eye　chanced　to　fall　on　the　ink…well　she　had
bought　me　out　of　the　allowance　I　gave　her。　　An　unanticipated　pity　welled
up　within　me　for　her　loneliness；　her　despair　in　that　room　upstairs。　　I
got　upand　hesitated。　　A　counteracting；　inhibiting　wave　passed　through
me。　　I　hardened。　　I　began　to　walk　up　and　down；　a　prey　to　conflicting
impulses。　　Something　whispered；　〃go　to　her〃；　another　voice　added；　〃for
your　own　peace　of　mind；　at　any　rate。〃　　I　rejected　the　intrusion　of　this
motive　as　unworthy；　turned　out　the　light　and　groped　my　way　upstairs。　　The
big　clock　in　the　hall　struck　twelve。

I　listened　outside　the　door　of　the　bedroom；　but　all　was　silent　within。　　I
knocked。

〃Maude！〃　I　said；　in　a　low　voice。

There　was　no　response。

〃Maudelet　me　in！　　I　didn't　mean　to　be　unkindI'm　sorry。〃

After　an　interval　I　heard　her　say：　〃I'd　rather　stay　here；to…night。〃

But　at　length；　after　more　entreaty　and　self…abasement　on　my　part；　she
opened　the　door。　　The　room　was　dark。　　We　sat　down　together　on　the　window…
seat；　and　all　at　once　she　relaxed　and　her　head　fell　on　my　shoulder；　and
she　began　weeping　again。　　I　held　her；　the　alternating　moods　still　running
through　me。

〃Hugh；〃　she　said　at　length；　〃how　could　you　be　so　cruel？　when　you　know　I
love　you　and　would　do　anything　for　you。〃

〃I　didn't　mean　to　be　cruel；　Maude；〃　I　answered。

〃I　know　you　didn't。　　But　at　times　you　seem　soindifferent；　and　you　can't
understand　how　it　hurts。　　I　haven't　anybody　but　you；　now；　and　it's　in
your　power　to　make　me　happy　oror　miserable。〃

Later　on　I　tried　to　explain　my　point　of　view；　to　justify　myself。

〃All　I　mean；〃　I　concluded　at　length；　〃is　that　my　position　is　a　little
different　from　Perry's　and　Tom's。　　They　can　afford　to　isolate　themselves；
but　I'm　thrown　professionally　with　the　men　who　are　building　up　this　city。
Some　of　them；　like　Ralph　Hambleton　and　Mr。　Ogilvy；　I've　known　all　my
life。　　Life　isn't　so　simple　for　us；　Maudewe　can't　ignore　the　social
side。〃

〃I　understand；〃　she　said　contentedly。　　〃You　are　more　of　a　man　of　affairs
much　more　than　Tom　or　Perry；　and　you　have　greater　responsibilities　and
wider　interests。　　I'm　really　very　proud　of　you。　　Onlydon't　you　think
you　are　a　little　too　sensitive　about　yourself；　when　you　are　teased？〃

I　let　this　pass。。。。

I　give　a　paragraph　from　a　possible　biography　of　Hugh　Paret　which；　as　then
seemed　not　improbable；　might　in　the　future　have　been　written　by　some
aspiring　young　worshipper　of　success。

〃On　his　return　from　a　brief　but　delightful　honeymoon　in　England　Mr。　Paret
took　up　again；　with　characteristic　vigour；　the　practice　of　the　law。　　He
was　entering　upon　the　prime　years　of　manhood；　golden　opportunities
confronted　him　as；　indeed；　they　confronted　other　menbut　Paret　had　the
foresight　to　take　advantage　of　them。　　And　his　training　under　Theodore
Watling　was　now　to　produce　results。。。。　　The　reputations　had　already　been
made　of　some　of　that　remarkable　group　of　financial　geniuses　who　were
chiefly　instrumental　in　bringing　about　the　industrial　evolution　begun
after　the　Civil　War：　at　the　same　time；　as　is　well　known；　a　political
leadership　developed　that　gave　proof　of　a　deplorable　blindness　to　the
logical　necessity　of　combinations　in　business。　　The　lawyer　with
initiative　and　brains　became　an　indispensable　factor；〃　etc。；　etc。

The　biography　might　have　gone　on　to　relate　my　association　with　and
important　services　to　Adolf　Scherer　in　connection　with　his　constructive
dream。　　Shortly　after　my　return　from　abroad；　in　answer　to　his　summons；　I
found　him　at　Heinrich's；　his　napkin　tucked　into　his　shirt　front；　and　a
dish　of　his　favourite　sausages　before　him。

〃So；　the　honeymoon　is　over！〃　he　said；　and　pressed　my　hand。　　〃You　are
right　to　come　back　to　business；　and　after　awhile　you　can　have　another
honeymoon；　eh？　　I　have　had　many　since　I　married。　　And　how　long　do　you
think　was　my　first？　　A　day！　　I　was　a　foreman　then；　and　the　wedding　was　at
six　o'clock　in　the　morning。　　We　went　into　the　country；　the　wife　and　I。〃

He　laid　down　his　knife　and　fork；　possessed　by　the　memory。　　〃I　have　grown
rich　since；　and　we've　been　to　Europe　and　back　to　Germany；　and　travelled
on　the　best　ships　and　stayed　at　the　best　hotels；　but　I　never　enjoyed　a
holiday　more　than　that　day。　　It　wasn't　long　afterwards　I　went　to　Mr。
Durrett　and　told　him　how　he　could　save　much　money。　　He　was　always　ready
to　listen；　Mr。　Durrett；　when　an　employee　had　anything　to　say。　　He　was　a
big　man；an　iron…master。　　Ah；　he　would　be　astonished　if　only　he　could
wake　up　now！〃

〃He　would　not　only　have　to　be　an　iron…master；〃　I　agreed；　〃but　a　financier
and　a　railroad　man　to　boot。〃

〃A　jack　of　all　trades；〃　laughed　Mr。　Scherer。　　〃That's　what　we　aremen　in
my　position。　　Well；　it　was　comparatively　simple　then；　when　we　had　no
Sherman　law　and　crazy　statutes；　such　as　some　of　the　states　are　passing；
to　bother　us。　　What　has　got　into　the　politicians；　that　they　are　indulging
in　such　foolishness？〃　he　exclaimed；　more　warmly。　　〃We　try　to　build　up　a
trade　for　this　country；　and　they're　doing　their　best　to　tie　our　hands　and
tear　it　down。　　When　I　was　in　Washington　the　other　day　I　was　talking　with
one　of　those　Western　senators　whose　state　has　passed　those　laws。　　He　said
to　me；　‘Mr。　Scherer；　I've　been　making　a　study　of　the　Boyne　Iron　Works。
You　are　clever　men；　but　you　are　building　up　monopolies　which　we　propose
to　stop。'　‘By　what　means？'〃　I　asked。　　〃‘Rebates；　for　one；'　said　he；　‘you
get　preferential　rates　from　your　railroad　which　give　you　advantages　over
your　competitors。'　Foolishness！〃　　Mr。　Scherer　exclaimed。　　〃I　tell　him　the
railroad　is　a　private　concern；　built　up　by　private　enterprise；　and　it　has
a　right　to　make　special　rates　for　large　shippers。　　No；railroads　are
public　carriers　with　no　right　to　make　special　rates。　　I　ask　him　what　else
he　objects　to；　and　he　says　patented　processes。　　As　if　we　don't　have　a
right　to　our　own　patents！　　We　buy　them。　　I　buy　them；　when　other　steel
companies　won't　touch　'em。　　What　is　that　but　enterprise；　and　business
foresight；　and　taking　risks？　　And　then　he　begins　to　talk　about　the　tariff
taking　money　out　of　the　pockets　of　American　consumers　and　making　men　like
me　rich。　　I　have　come　to　Washington　to　get　the　tariff　raised　on　steel　rails；
and　Watling　and　other　senators　we　send　down　there　are　raising　it　for　us。
We　are　building　up　monopolies！　　Well；　suppose　we　are。　　We　can't　help　it；
even　if　we　want　to。　　Has　he　ever　made　a　study　of　the　other　side　of　the
questionthe　competition　side？　　Of　course　he　hasn't。〃

He　brought　down　his　beer　mug　heavily　on　the　table。　　In　times　of
excitement　his　speech　suggested　the　German　idiom。　　Abruptly　his　air　grew
mysterious；　he　glanced　around　the　room；　now　becoming　empty；　and　lowered
his　voice。

〃I　have　been　thinking　a　long　time；　I　have　a　little　scheme；〃　he　said；
〃and　I　have　been　to　Washington　to　see　Watling；　to　talk　over　it。　　Well；　he
thinks　much　of　you。　　Fowndes　and　Ripon　are　good　lawyers；　but　they　are　not
smart　like　you。　　See　Paret；　he　says；　and　he　can