the complete plays- 第85部分

STUP。　One　lump　of　sugar　for　the　claret…cup。



PREP。　He　has　brought　one　lump　of　sugar　for　the　claret…cup？　Ha。

Ha。　Ha。　＇laughing　melodramatically＇



STUP。　Well；　Preposteros；　what　have　you　brought？



PREP。　I　have　brought　two　lumps　of　the　very　best　salt　for　the

lobster　salad。



THES。　Ohis　that　all？



PREP。　All。　Ha。　Ha。　He　asks　if　it　is　all。　｛Stup。　consoles　him＇



THES。　But；　I　saythis　is　capital　so　far　as　it　goes。　Nothing

could　be　better；　but　it　doesn't　go　far　enough。　The　claret；　for

instance。　I　don't　insist　on　claretor　a　lobsterI　don't　insist

on　lobster；　but　a　lobster　salad　without　a　lobster；　why　it　isn't

lobster　salad。　　Here；　Tipseion。



TIP。　＇a　very　drunken；　bloated　fellow；　dressed；　however；　with

scrupulous　accuracy　and　wearing　a　large　medal　around　his　neck＇　My

master。　＇Falls　on　his　knees　to　Thes。　and　kisses　his　robe。＇



THES。　Get　updon't　be　a　fool。　Where's　the　claret？　We　arranged

last　week　that　you　were　to　see　to　that。



TIPS。　True；　dear　master。　But　then　I　was　a　drunkard。



THES。　You　were。



TIPS。　You　engaged　me　to　play　convivial　parts　on　the　strength　of

my　personal　appearance。



THES。　I　did。



TIPS。　Then　you　found　that　my　habits　interfered　with　my　duties　as

low　comedian。



THES。　True。



TIPS。　You　said　yesterday　that　unless　I　took　the　pledge　you　would

dismiss　me　from　your　company。



THES。　Quite　so。



TIPS。　Good。　I　have　taken　it。　　It　is　all　I　have　taken　since

yesterday。　My　preserver。　＇embraces　him＇



THES。　Yes；　but　where's　the　wine？



TIPS。　I　left　it　behind　that　I　might　not　be　tempted　to　violate　my

pledge。



PREP。　Minion。　＇Attempts　to　get　at　him；　is　restrained　by　Stupidas＇



THES。　Now；　Preposteros；　what　is　the　matter　with　you？



PREP。　It　is　enough　that　I　am　down…trodden　in　my　profession。　I

will　not　submit　to　imposition　out　of　it。　　It　is　enough　that　as

your　heavy　villain　I　get　the　worst　of　it　every　night　in　a　combat

of　six。　　I　will　not　submit　to　insult　in　the　day　time。　I　have　come

out。　Ha。　Ha。　to　enjoy　myself。



THES。　But　look　here；　you　knowvirtue　only　triumphs　at　night　from

seven　to　tenvice　gets　the　best　of　it　during　the　other　twenty

one　hours。　　Won't　that　satisfy　you？　＇Stupidas　endeavours　to

pacify　him。＇



PREP。　＇Irritated　to　Stupidas＇　Ye　are　odious　to　my　sight。　Get　out

of　it。



STUP。　＇In　great　terror＇　What　have　I　done？



THES。　Now　what　is　it。　Preposteros；　what　is　it？



PREP。　I　a　　hate　him　and　would　have　his　life。



THES。　＇to　Stup。＇　That's　ithe　hates　you　and　would　have　your　

life。　Now　go　and　be　merry。



STUP。　Yes；　but　why　does　he　hate　me？



THES。　Ohexactly。　＇to　Prep。＇　Why　do　you　hate　him？



PREP。　Because　he　is　a　minion。



THES。　He　hates　you　because　you　are　a　minion。　　It　explains　itself。　

Now　go　and　enjoy　yourselves。　Ha。　Ha。　It　is　well　for　those　who　can

laughlet　them　do　sothere　is　no　extra　charge。　　The　light…

hearted　cup　and　the　convivial　jest　for　thembut　for　mewhat　is

there　for　me？



SILLI。　There　is　some　claret…cup　and　lobster　salad　＇handing　some＇



THES。　＇taking　it＇　Thank　you。　＇Resuming＇　What　is　there　for　me　but

anxietyceaseless　gnawing　anxiety　that　tears　at　my　very　vitals

and　rends　my　peace　of　mind　asunder？　　There　is　nothing　whatever

for　me　but　anxiety　of　the　nature　I　have　just　described。　The

charge　of　these　thoughtless　revellers　is　my　unhappy　lot。　　It　is

not　a　small　charge；　and　it　is　rightly　termed　a　lot　because　there

are　many。　Oh　why　did　the　gods　make　me　a　manager？



SILL。　＇as　guessing　a　riddle＇　Why　did　the　gods　make　him　a　manager？



SPAR。　Why　did　the　gods　make　him　a　manager。



DAPH。　Why　did　the　gods　make　him　a　manager？



PRETT。　Why　did　the　gods　make　him　a　manager？



THES。　Nonowhat　are　you　talking　about？　What　do　you　mean？



DAPH。　I've　got　itno　don't　tell　us。



ALL。　Nonobecausebecause



THES。　＇annoyed＇　It　isn't　a　conundrum。　　It's　misanthropical

question。



DAPH。　＇Who　is　sitting　with　Spar。　to　the　annoyance　of　Nice。　who　is

crying　alone＇　I'm　sure　I　don't　know。　We　do　not　want　you。　Don't

distress　yourself　on　our　accountwe　are　getting　on　very

comfortablyaren't　we　Sparkeion。



SPAR。　We　are　so　happy　that　we　don't　miss　the　lobster　or　the

claret。　What　are　lobster　and　claret　compared　with　the　society　of

those　we　love？　＇embracing　Daphne。＇



DAPH。　Why；　Nicemis；　love；　you　are　eating　nothing。　Aren't　you

happy　dear？



NICE。　＇spitefully＇　You　are　quite　welcome　to　my　share　of

everything。　I　intend　to　console　myself　with　the　society　of　my

manager。　＇takes　Thespis'　arm　affectionately＇。



THES。　Here　I　saythis　won't　do；　you　knowI　can't　allow　itat

least　before　my　companybesides；　you　are　half…married　to

Sparkeion。　Sparkeion；　here's　your　half…wife　impairing　my

influence　before　my　company。　Don't　you　know　the　story　of　the

gentleman　who　undermined　his　influence　by　associating　with　his

inferiors？



ALL。　Yes；　yeswe　know　it。



PREP。　＇formally＇　I　do　not　know　it。　It's　ever　thus。　Doomed　to

disappointment　from　my　earliest　years。　　＇Stup。　endeavours　to

console　him＇　



THES。　Therethat's　enough。　　Preposterosyou　shall　hear　it。



I　once　knew　a　chap　who　discharged　a　function

On　the　North　South　East　West　Diddlesex　Junction。

He　was　conspicuous　exceeding；

For　his　affable　ways；　and　his　easy　breeding。

Although　a　chairman　of　directions；

He　was　hand　in　glove　with　the　ticket　inspectors。

He　tipped　the　guards　with　brand　new　fivers；

And　sang　little　songs　to　the　engine　drivers。

'Twas　told　to　me　with　great　compunction；

By　one　who　had　discharged　with　unction

A　chairman　of　directors　function

On　the　North　South　East　West　Diddlesex　Junction。

Fol　diddle；　lol　diddle；　lol　lol　lay。



Each　Christmas　day　he　gave　each　stoker

A　silver　shovel　and　a　golden　poker。

He'd　button　holw　flowers　for　the　ticket　sorters

And　rich　Bath…buns　for　the　outside　porters。

He'd　moun　the　clerks　on　his　first…class　hunters；

And　he　build　little　villas　for　the　road…side　shunters；

And　if　any　were　fond　of　pigeon　shooting；

He'd　ask　them　down　to　his　place　at　Tooting。

Twas　told　to　me。。。。etc。



In　course　of　time　there　spread　a　rumour

That　he　did　all　this　from　a　sense　of　humour。

So　instead　of　signalling　and　stoking；

They　gave　themselves　up　to　a　course　of　joking。

Whenever　they　knew　that　he　was　riding；

They　shunted　his　train　on　a　lonely　siding；

Or　stopped　all　night　in　the　middle　of　a　tunnel；

On　the　plea　that　the　boiler　was　a…coming　through　the　funnel。

Twas　told　to　me。。。etc。



It　he　wished　to　go　to　Perth　or　Stirling；

His　train　through　several　counties　whirling；

Would　set　him　down　in　a　fit　of　larking；

At　four　a。m。　in　the　wilds　of　Barking。

This　pleased　his　whim　and　seemed　to　strike　it；

But　the　general　public　did　not　like　it。

The　receipts　fell；　after　a　few　repeatings；

And　he　got　it　hot　at　the　annual　meetings。

Twas　told　to　me。。。etc。



He　followed　out　his　whim　with　vigour；

The　shares　went　down　to　a　nominal　figure。

These　are　the　sad　results　proceeding

From　his　affable　ways　and　his　easy　breeding。

The　line；　with　its　rais　and　guards　and　peelers；

Was　sold　for　a　song　to　marine　store　dealers

The　shareholders　are　all　in　the　work'us；

And　he　sells　pipe…lights　in　the　Regent　Circus。

Twas　told　to　me。。。etc。



It's　very　hard。　As　a　man　I　am　naturally　of　an　easy　disposition。

As　a　manager；　I　am　compelled　to　hold　myself　aloof；　that　my

influence　may　not　be　deteriorated。　　As　a　man　I　am　inclined　to

fraternize　with　the　pauperas　a　manager　I　am　compelled　to　walk

around　like　this：　Don't　know　yah。　Don't　know　yah。　Don't　know　yah。



＇Strides　haughtily　about　the　stage。　Jupiter；　Mars；　and　Apollo；　in

full　Olympian　costume　appear　on　the　three　broken　columns。

Thespians　scream。＇



JUP；　MARS；　AP。　Presumptuous　mortal。



THES。　Don't　know　ya。　Don't　know　yah。



JUP；　MARS；　AP。　＇seated　on　broken　pillars＇　Presumptuous　mortal。



THES。　I　do　not　know　you。　I　do　not　know　you。



JUP；　MARS；　AP。　Presumptuous　mortal。



THES。　Remove　this　person。



＇Stup　and　Prep　seize　Ap　and　Mars＇



JUP。　Stop；　you　evidently　don't　know　me。　　Allow　me　to　offer　you　my

card。　＇Throws　flash　paper＇



THES。　Ah　yes；　it's　very　pretty；　but　we　don't　want　any　at　present。

When　we　do　our　Christmas　piece；　I'll　let　you　know。　＇Changing　his

manner＇　Look　here；　you　know　this　is　a　private　party　and　we

haven't　the　pleasure　of　your　acquaintance。　There　are　a　good　many

other　mountains　about；　if　you　must　have　a　mountain　all　to

yourself。　Don't　make　me　let　myself　down　before　my　company。

＇Resuming＇　Don't　know　yah；　Don't　know　yah。



JUP。　I　am　Jupiter；　the　king　of　the　gods。　This　is　Apollo。　This　is

Mars。　＇All　kneel　to　them　except　Thespis＇



THES。　Oh。　Then　as　I'm　a　respectable　man；　and　rather　particular

about　the　company　I　keep；　I　think　I'll　go。



JUP。　Nonostop　a　bit。　We　want　to　consult　you　on　a　matter　of

great　importance。　There。　Now　we　are　alone。　Who　are　you？



THES。　I　am　Thespis　of　the　Thessalian　Theatres。



JUP。　The　very　man　we　want。　Now　as　a　judge　of　what　the　public

likes　are　you　impressed　with　my　appearance　as　father　of　the　gods？



THES。　Well　to　be　candid　with　you；　I　am　not。　In　fact　I'm

disappointed。



JUP。　Disappointed？



THES。　Yes；　you　see　you're　so　much　out　of　repair。　No；　you　don't

come　up　to　my　idea　of　the　part。　Bless　you；　I've　played　you　often。



JUP。　You　have。



THES。　To　be　sure　I　have。



JUP。　And　how　have　you　dressed　the　part。



THES。　Fine　commanding　party　in　the　prime　of　life。　Thunderbolt

full　bearddignified　mannera　good　eal　of　this　sort　of　thin

〃Don't　know　ya。　Don't　know　yah。　Don't　know　yah。



JUP。　＇much　affected＇　II'm　very　much　obliged　to　you。　It's　very

good　of　you。　III　used　to　be　like　that。　I　can't　tell　you　how

much　I　feel　it。　And　do　you　find　I'm　an　impressive　character　to

play？



THES。　Well　no；　I　can't　say　you　are。　　In　fact　we　don't　you　you

much　out　of　burlesque。



JUP。　Burlesque！



THES。　Yes；　it's　a　painful　subject；　drop　it；　drop　it。　　The　fact

is；　you　are　not　the　gods　you　werey