the sleeping-car - a farce- 第5部分

you'll　be　sure　to　find　him。



MR。　ROBERTS　（timidly　indicating　a　berth）。　　I　think　that's　the　one。



CAMPBELL　（plunging　at　it；　and　pulling　the　curtains　open）。　　You　old

Tom　Goodall！



THE　CALIFORNIAN　（appearing）。　　I　ain't　any　Tom　Goodall。　　My　name's

Abram　Sawyer。



CAMPBELL　（falling　back）。　　Well；　sir；　you're　right。　　I'm　awfully　sorry

to　disturb　you；　but；　from　my　sister's　description　here；　I　felt

certain　you　must　be　my　old　friend　Tom　Goodall。



THE　CALIFORNIAN。　　I　ain't　surprised　at　it。　　I'm　only　surprised　I

AIN'T　Tom　Goodall。　　I've　been　a　baby　twice；　and　I've　been　a　man's

wife　once；　and　once　I've　been　a　long…lost　brother。



CAMPBELL　（laughing）。　　Oh；　they've　found　HIM。　　I'M　the　long…lost

brother。



THE　CALIFORNIAN　（sleepily）。　　Has　she　found　the　other　one？



CAMPBELL。　　Yes；　all　right；　I　believe。



THE　CALIFORNIAN。　　Has　HE　found　what　HE　wanted？



CAMPBELL。　　Yes；　we're　all　together　here。　　＇THE　CALIFORNIAN　makes　a

movement　to　get　into　bed　again。＇　　Oh；　don't！　　You'd　better　make　a

night　of　it　now。　　It's　almost　morning　anyway。　　We　want　you　to　go　home

with　us；　and　Mrs。　Roberts　will　give　you　a　bed　at　her　house；　and　let

you　sleep　a　week。



THE　CALIFORNIAN。　　Well；　I　reckon　you're　right；　stranger。　　I　seem　to

be　in　the　hands　of　Providence　to…night　anyhow。　　＇He　pulls　on　his

boots　and　coat；　and　takes　his　seat　beside　CAMPBELL。＇　　I　reckon　there

ain't　any　use　in　fighting　against　Providence。



MRS。　ROBERTS　（briskly；　as　if　she　had　often　tried　it　and　failed）。　　Oh；

not　the　least　in　the　world。　　I'm　sure　it　was　all　intended；　and　if　you

had　turned　out　to　be　Willis　at　last；　I　should　be　CERTAIN　of　it。　　What

surprises　me　is　that　you　shouldn't　turn　out　to　be　anybody；　after　all。



THE　CALIFORNIAN。　　Yes；　it　is　kind　of　curious。　　But　I　couldn't　help

it。　　I　did　my　best。



MRS。　ROBERTS。　　Oh；　don't　speak　of　it。　　WE　are　the　ones　who　ought　to

apologize。　　But　if　you　only　had　been　somebody；　it　would　have　been

such　a　good　joke！　　We　could　always　have　had　such　a　laugh　over　it；

don't　you　see？



THE　CALIFORNIAN。　　Yes；　ma'am；　it　would　have　been　funny。　　But　I　hope

you've　enjoyed　it　as　it　is。



MRS。　ROBERTS。　　Oh；　very　much；　thanks　to　you。　　Only　I　can't　seem　to

get　reconciled　to　your　not　being　anybody；　after　all。　　You　MUST　at

least　be　some　one　we've　heard　about；　don't　you　think？　　It's　so

strange　that　you　and　Willis　never　even　met。　　Don't　you　think　you　have

some　acquaintances　in　common？



CAMPBELL。　　Look　here；　Agnes；　do　you　always　shout　at　the　top　of　your

voice　in　this　way　when　you　converse　in　a　sleeping…car？



MRS。　ROBERTS。　　Was　I　talking　loud　again？　　Well；　you　can't　help　it　if

you　want　to　make　people　hear　you。



CAMPBELL。　　But　there　must　be　a　lot　of　them　who　don't　want　to　hear

you。　　I　wonder　that　the　passengers　who　are　not　blood…relations　don't

throw　things　at　youboots　and　hand…bags　and　language。



MRS。　ROBERTS。　　Why；　that's　what　they've　BEEN　doinglanguage；　at

leastand　I'm　only　surprised　they're　not　doing　it　now。



THE　CALIFORNIAN　（rising）。　　They'd　better　not；　ma'am。



＇He　patrols　the　car　from　end　to　end；　and　quells　some　rising　murmurs；

halting　at　the　rebellious　berths　as　he　passes。＇



MRS。　ROBERTS　（enraptured　by　his　companionship）。　　Oh；　he　MUST　be　some

connection。　　＇She　glances　through　the　window。＇　　I　do　believe　that　was

Newton；　or　Newtonville；　or　West　Newton；　or　Newton　Centre。　　I　must　run

and　wake　up　baby；　and　get　him　dressed。　　I　shan't　want　to　wait　an

instant　after　we　get　in。　　Why；　we're　slowing　up！　　Why；　I　do　believe

we're　there！　　Edward；　we're　there！　　Only　fancy　being　there　already！



MR。　ROBERTS。　　Yes；　my　dear。　　Only　we're　not　quite　there　yet。　　Hadn't

we　better　call　your　aunt　Mary？



MRS。　ROBERTS。　　I'd　forgotten　her。



CAMPBELL。　　Is　Aunt　Mary　with　you？



MRS。　ROBERTS。　　To　be　sure　she　is。　　Didn't　I　tell　you？　　She　came　on

expressly　to　meet　you。



CAMPBELL　（starting　up　impetuously）。　　Which　berth　is　she　in？



MRS。　ROBERTS。　　Right　over　baby。



CAMPBELL。　　And　which　berth　is　baby　in？



MRS。　ROBERTS　（distractedly）。　　Why；　that's　just　what　I　can't　TELL。　　It

was　bad　enough　when　they　were　all　filled　up；　but　now　since　the　people

have　begun　to　come　out　of　them；　and　some　of　them　are　made　into　seats

I　can't　tell。



THE　CALIFORNIAN。　　I'll　look　for　you；　ma'am。　　I　should　like　to　wake　up

all　the　wrong　passengers　on　this　car。　　I'd　take　a　pleasure　in　it。　　If

you　could　make　sure　of　any　berth　that　AIN'T　the　one；　I'll　begin　on

that。



MRS。　ROBERTS。　　I　can't　even　be　sure　of　the　wrong　one。　　No；　no；　you

mustn't＇THE　CALIFORNIAN　moves　away；　and　pauses　in　front　of　one　of

the　berths；　looking　back　inquiringly　at　MRS。　ROBERTS。＇　　Oh；　don't　ask

ME！　　_I_　can't　tell。　　＇To　CAMPBELL。＇　　ISN'T　he　amusing？　　So　like　all

those　Californians　that　one　reads　ofso　chivalrous　and　SO　humorous！



AUNT　MARY　（thrusting　her　head　from　the　curtains　of　the　berth　before

which　THE　CALIFORNIAN　is　standing）。　　Go　along　with　you！　　What　do　you

want？



THE　CALIFORNIAN。　　Aunt　Mary。



AUNT　MARY。　　Go　away。　　Aunt　Mary；　indeed！



MRS。　ROBERTS　（running　toward　her；　followed　by　CAMPBELL　and　MR。

ROBERTS）。　　Why；　Aunt　Mary；　it　IS　you！　　And　here's　Willis；　and　here's

Edward。



AUNT　MARY。　　Nonsense！　　How　did　they　get　aboard？



MRS。　ROBERTS。　　Edward　came　on　at　Worcester　and　Willis　at　Framingham；

to　surprise　me。



AUNT　MARY。　　And　a　very　silly　performance。　　Let　them　wait　till　I'm

dressed；　and　then　I'll　talk　to　them。　　Send　for　the　porter。　　＇She

withdraws　her　head　behind　the　curtain；　and　then　thrusts　it　out

again。＇　　And　who；　pray；　may　THIS　be？



＇She　indicates　THE　CALIFORNIAN。＇



MRS。　ROBERTS。　　Oh；　a　friend　of　ours　from　California；　who's　been　so

kind　to　us　all　night；　and　who's　going　home　with　us。



AUNT　MARY。　　Another　ridiculous　surprise；　I　suppose。　　But　he　shall　not

surprise　ME。　　Young　man；　isn't　your　name　Sawyer？



THE　CALIFORNIAN。　　Yes；　ma'am。



AUNT　MARY。　　Abram？



THE　CALIFORNIAN。　　Abram　Sawyer。　　You're　right　there；　ma'am。



MRS。　ROBERTS。　　Oh！　oh！　　I　knew　it！　　I　knew　that　he　must　be　somebody

belonging　to　us。　　Oh；　thank　you；　aunty；　for　thinking　…



AUNT　MARY。　　Don't　be　absurd；　Agnes。　　Then　you're　my　…



A　VOICE　from　one　of　the　berths。　　Lost　step…son。　　Found！　found　at

last！



＇THE　CALIFORNIAN　looks　vainly　round　in　an　endeavor　to　identify　the

speaker；　and　then　turns　again　to　AUNT　MARY。＇



AUNT　MARY。　　Weren't　your　parents　from　Bath？



THE　CALIFORNIAN　（eagerly）。　　Both　of　'em；　ma'amboth　of　'em。



THE　VOICE。　　O　my　prophetic　soul；　my　uncle！



AUNT　MARY。　　Then　you're　my　old　friend　Kate　Harris's　daughter？



THE　CALIFORNIAN。　　I　might　be　her　SON；　ma'am；　but　MY　mother's　name　was

Susan　Wakeman。



AUNT　MARY　（in　sharp　disgust）。　　Call　the　porter；　please。



＇She　withdraws　her　head　and　pulls　her　curtains　together；　the　rest

look　blankly　at　one　another。＇



CAMPBELL。　　Another　failure；　and　just　when　we　thought　we　were　sure　of

you。　　I　don't　know　what　we　shall　do　about　you；　Mr。　Sawyer。



THE　VOICE。　　Adopt　him。



CAMPBELL。　　That's　a　good　idea。　　We　will　adopt　you。　　You　shall　be　our

adoptive　…



THE　VOICE。　　Baby　boy。



ANOTHER　VOICE。　　Wife。



A　THIRD　VOICE。　　Brother。



A　FOURTH　VOICE。　　Early　friend。



A　FIFTH　VOICE。　　Kate　Harris's　daughter。



CAMPBELL　（laying　his　hand　on　THE　CALIFORNIAN'S　shoulder；　and　breaking

into　a　laugh）。　　Don't　mind　them。　　They　don't　mean　anything。　　It's

just　their　way。　　You　come　home　with　my　sister；　and　spend　Christmas；

and　let　us　devote　the　rest　of　our　lives　to　making　your　declining

years　happy。



VOICES。　　〃Good　for　you；　Willis！〃　　〃We'll　all　come！〃　　〃No　ceremony！〃

〃Small　and　early！〃



CAMPBELL　（looking　round）。　　We　appear　to　have　fallen　in　with　a　party

of　dry…goods　drummers。　　It　makes　a　gentleman　feel　like　an　intruder。

＇The　train　stops；　he　looks　out　of　the　window。＇　　We've　arrived。　　Come；

Agnes；　come；　Roberts；　come；　Mr。　Sawyerlet's　be　going。



＇They　gather　up　their　several　wraps　and　bags；　and　move　with　great

dignity　toward　the　door。＇



AUNT　MARY　（putting　out　her　head）。　　Agnes！　　If　you　must　forget　your

aunt；　at　least　remember　your　child。



MRS。　ROBERTS　（running　back　in　an　agony　of　remorse）。　　Oh；　BABY；　did　I

forget　you？



CAMPBELL。　　Oh；　AUNTY；　did　she　forget　you？　　＇He　runs　back；　and　extends

his　arms　to　his　aunt。＇　　Let　me　help　you　down；　Aunt　Mary。



AUNT　MARY。　　Nonsense；　Willis。　　Send　the　porter。



CAMPBELL　（turning　round　and　confronting　THE　PORTER）。　　He　was　here

upon　instinct。　　Shall　he　fetch　a　step…ladder？



AUNT　MARY。　　HE　will　know　what　to　do。　　Go　away；　Willis；　go　away　with

that　child；　Agnes。　　If　I　should　happen　to　fall　on　you＇They　retreat；

the　curtain　drops；　and　her　voice　is　heard　behind　it　addressing　THE

PORTER。＇　　Give　me　your　hand；　now　your　back；　now　your　knee。　　So！　　And

very　well　done。　　Thanks。







End