anne of the island- 第21部分

she　began　hesitatingly　　for　it　was　difficult　for　Anne　to　speak

to　any　one　of　the　deepest　thoughts　of　her　heart；　or　the　new

ideas　that　had　vaguely　begun　to　shape　themselves　in　her　mind；

concerning　the　great　mysteries　of　life　here　and　hereafter；

superseding　her　old　childish　conceptions；　and　it　was　hardest　of

all　to　speak　of　them　to　such　as　Ruby　Gillis　　〃I　think；　perhaps；

we　have　very　mistaken　ideas　about　heaven　　what　it　is　and　what

it　holds　for　us。　　I　don't　think　it　can　be　so　very　different　from

life　here　as　most　people　seem　to　think。　　I　believe　we'll　just　go

on　living；　a　good　deal　as　we　live　here　　and　be　OURSELVES　just

the　same　　only　it　will　be　easier　to　be　good　and　to　　follow

the　highest。　　All　the　hindrances　and　perplexities　will　be　taken

away；　and　we　shall　see　clearly。　　Don't　be　afraid；　Ruby。〃



〃I　can't　help　it；〃　said　Ruby　pitifully。　　〃Even　if　what　you　say

about　heaven　is　true　　and　you　can't　be　sure　　it　may　be　only

that　imagination　of　yours　　it　won't　be　JUST　the　same。　　It　CAN'T　be。

I　want　to　go　on　living　HERE。　　I'm　so　young；　Anne。　　I　haven't　had

my　life。　　I've　fought　so　hard　to　live　　and　it　isn't　any　use

　I　have　to　die　　and　leave　EVERYTHING　I　care　for。〃　　Anne　sat

in　a　pain　that　was　almost　intolerable。　　She　could　not　tell

comforting　falsehoods；　and　all　that　Ruby　said　was　so　horribly

true。　　She　WAS　leaving　everything　she　cared　for。　　She　had　laid　up

her　treasures　on　earth　only；　she　had　lived　solely　for　the　little

things　of　life　　the　things　that　pass　　forgetting　the　great

things　that　go　onward　into　eternity；　bridging　the　gulf　between

the　two　lives　and　making　of　death　a　mere　passing　from　one

dwelling　to　the　other　　from　twilight　to　unclouded　day。　　God

would　take　care　of　her　there　　Anne　believed　　she　would　learn

　but　now　it　was　no　wonder　her　soul　clung；　in　blind　helplessness；

to　the　only　things　she　knew　and　loved。



Ruby　raised　herself　on　her　arm　and　lifted　up　her　bright；　beautiful

blue　eyes　to　the　moonlit　skies。



〃I　want　to　live；〃　she　said；　in　a　trembling　voice。　　〃I　want　to

live　like　other　girls。　　I　　I　want　to　be　married；　Anne　　and　

and　　have　little　children。　　You　know　I　always　loved　babies；　Anne。

I　couldn't　say　this　to　any　one　but　you。　　I　know　you　understand。

And　then　poor　Herb　　he　　he　loves　me　and　I　love　him；　Anne。

The　others　meant　nothing　to　me；　but　HE　does　　and　if　I　could

live　I　would　be　his　wife　and　be　so　happy。　　Oh；　Anne；　it's　hard。〃



Ruby　sank　back　on　her　pillows　and　sobbed　convulsively。　　Anne

pressed　her　hand　in　an　agony　of　sympathy　　silent　sympathy；

which　perhaps　helped　Ruby　more　than　broken；　imperfect　words　could

have　done；　for　presently　she　grew　calmer　and　her　sobs　ceased。



〃I'm　glad　I've　told　you　this；　Anne；〃　she　whispered。　　〃It　has

helped　me　just　to　say　it　all　out。　　I've　wanted　to　all　summer　

every　time　you　came。　　I　wanted　to　talk　it　over　with　you　　but

I　COULDN'T。　　It　seemed　as　if　it　would　make　death　so　SURE　if　I

SAID　I　was　going　to　die；　or　if　any　one　else　said　it　or　hinted　it。

I　wouldn't　say　it；　or　even　think　it。　　In　the　daytime；　when　people

were　around　me　and　everything　was　cheerful；　it　wasn't　so　hard　to

keep　from　thinking　of　it。　　But　in　the　night；　when　I　couldn't　sleep

　it　was　so　dreadful；　Anne。　　I　couldn't　get　away　from　it　then。

Death　just　came　and　stared　me　in　the　face；　until　I　got　so　frightened

I　could　have　screamed。



〃But　you　won't　be　frightened　any　more；　Ruby；　will　you？　　You'll　be　brave；

and　believe　that　all　is　going　to　be　well　with　you。〃



〃I'll　try。　　I'll　think　over　what　you　have　said；　and　try　to　believe　it。

And　you'll　come　up　as　often　as　you　can；　won't　you；　Anne？〃



〃Yes；　dear。〃



〃It　　it　won't　be　very　long　now；　Anne。　　I　feel　sure　of　that。

And　I'd　rather　have　you　than　any　one　else。　　I　always　liked　you

best　of　all　the　girls　I　went　to　school　with。　　You　were　never

jealous；　or　mean；　like　some　of　them　were。　　Poor　Em　White　was　up

to　see　me　yesterday。　　You　remember　Em　and　I　were　such　chums　for

three　years　when　we　went　to　school？　　And　then　we　quarrelled　the

time　of　the　school　concert。　　We've　never　spoken　to　each　other

since。　　Wasn't　it　silly？　　Anything　like　that　seems　silly　NOW。

But　Em　and　I　made　up　the　old　quarrel　yesterday。　　She　said　she'd

have　spoken　years　ago；　only　she　thought　I　wouldn't。　　And　I　never

spoke　to　her　because　I　was　sure　she　wouldn't　speak　to　me。　　Isn't

it　strange　how　people　misunderstand　each　other；　Anne？〃



〃Most　of　the　trouble　in　life　comes　from　misunderstanding；　I　think；〃

said　Anne。　　〃I　must　go　now；　Ruby。　　It's　getting　late　　and　you

shouldn't　be　out　in　the　damp。〃



〃You'll　come　up　soon　again。〃



〃Yes；　very　soon。　　And　if　there's　anything　I　can　do　to　help　you

I'll　be　so　glad。〃



〃I　know。　　You　HAVE　helped　me　already。　　Nothing　seems　quite　so

dreadful　now。　　Good　night；　Anne。〃



〃Good　night；　dear。〃



Anne　walked　home　very　slowly　in　the　moonlight。　　The　evening　had

changed　something　for　her。　　Life　held　a　different　meaning；　a

deeper　purpose。　　On　the　surface　it　would　go　on　just　the　same；　but

the　deeps　had　been　stirred。　　It　must　not　be　with　her　as　with　poor

butterfly　Ruby。　　When　she　came　to　the　end　of　one　life　it　must　not

be　to　face　the　next　with　the　shrinking　terror　of　something　wholly

different　　something　for　which　accustomed　thought　and　ideal　and

aspiration　had　unfitted　her。　　The　little　things　of　life；　sweet

and　excellent　in　their　place；　must　not　be　the　things　lived　for；

the　highest　must　be　sought　and　followed；　the　life　of　heaven　must

be　begun　here　on　earth。



That　good　night　in　the　garden　was　for　all　time。　　Anne　never　saw

Ruby　in　life　again。　　The　next　night　the　A。V。I。S。　gave　a　farewell

party　to　Jane　Andrews　before　her　departure　for　the　West。　　And；

while　light　feet　danced　and　bright　eyes　laughed　and　merry　tongues

chattered；　there　came　a　summons　to　a　soul　in　Avonlea　that　might

not　be　disregarded　or　evaded。　　The　next　morning　the　word　went

from　house　to　house　that　Ruby　Gillis　was　dead。　　She　had　died　in

her　sleep；　painlessly　and　calmly；　and　on　her　face　was　a　smile　

as　if；　after　all；　death　had　come　as　a　kindly　friend　to　lead　her

over　the　threshold；　instead　of　the　grisly　phantom　she　had　dreaded。



Mrs。　Rachel　Lynde　said　emphatically　after　the　funeral　that　Ruby

Gillis　was　the　handsomest　corpse　she　ever　laid　eyes　on。　　Her

loveliness；　as　she　lay；　white…clad；　among　the　delicate　flowers

that　Anne　had　placed　about　her；　was　remembered　and　talked　of　for

years　in　Avonlea。　　Ruby　had　always　been　beautiful；　but　her　beauty

had　been　of　the　earth；　earthy；　it　had　had　a　certain　insolent

quality　in　it；　as　if　it　flaunted　itself　in　the　beholder's　eye；

spirit　had　never　shone　through　it；　intellect　had　never　refined　it。

But　death　had　touched　it　and　consecrated　it；　bringing　out　delicate

modelings　and　purity　of　outline　never　seen　before　　doing　what　life

and　love　and　great　sorrow　and　deep　womanhood　joys　might　have　done

for　Ruby。　　Anne；　looking　down　through　a　mist　of　tears；　at　her　old

playfellow；　thought　she　saw　the　face　God　had　meant　Ruby　to　have；

and　remembered　it　so　always。



Mrs。　Gillis　called　Anne　aside　into　a　vacant　room　before　the

funeral　procession　left　the　house；　and　gave　her　a　small　packet。



〃I　want　you　to　have　this；〃　she　sobbed。　　〃Ruby　would　have　liked　you

to　have　it。　　It's　the　embroidered　centerpiece　she　was　working　at。

It　isn't　quite　finished　　the　needle　is　sticking　in　it　just　where

her　poor　little　fingers　put　it　the　last　time　she　laid　it　down；　the

afternoon　before　she　died。〃



〃There's　always　a　piece　of　unfinished　work　left；〃　said　Mrs。　Lynde；

with　tears　in　her　eyes。　　〃But　I　suppose　there's　always　some　one

to　finish　it。〃



〃How　difficult　it　is　to　realize　that　one　we　have　always　known

can　really　be　dead；〃　said　Anne；　as　she　and　Diana　walked　home。

〃Ruby　is　the　first　of　our　schoolmates　to　go。　　One　by　one；　sooner

or　later；　all　the　rest　of　us　must　follow。〃



〃Yes；　I　suppose　so；〃　said　Diana　uncomfortably。　　She　did　not

want　to　talk　of　that。　　She　would　have　preferred　to　have　discussed

the　details　of　the　funeral　　the　splendid　white　velvet　casket

Mr。　Gillis　had　insisted　on　having　for　Ruby　　〃the　Gillises　must

always　make　a　splurge；　even　at　funerals；〃　quoth　Mrs。　Rachel　Lynde

　Herb　Spencer's　sad　face；　the　uncontrolled；　hysteric　grief　of

one　of　Ruby's　sisters　　but　Anne　would　not　talk　of　these　things。

She　seemed　wrapped　in　a　reverie　in　which　Diana　felt　lonesomely

that　she　had　neither　lot　nor　part。



〃Ruby　Gillis　was　a　great　girl　to　laugh；〃　said　Davy　suddenly。

〃Will　she　laugh　as　much　in　heaven　as　she　did　in　Avonlea；　Anne？

I　want　to　know。〃



〃Yes；　I　think　she　will；〃　said　Anne。



〃Oh；　Anne；〃　protested　Diana；　with　a　rather　shocked　smile。



〃Well；　why　not；　Diana？〃　asked　Anne　seriously。　　〃Do　you　think

we'll　never　laugh　in　heaven？〃



〃Oh　　I　　I　don't　know〃　floundered　Diana。　　〃It　doesn't　seem

just　right；　somehow。　　You　know　it's　rather　dreadful　to　laugh　in

church。〃



〃But　heaven　won't　be　like　church　　all　the　time；〃　said　Anne。



〃I　hope　it　ain't；〃　said　Davy　emphatically。　　〃If　it　is　I　don't

want　to　go。　　Church　is　awful　dull。　　Anyway；　I　don't　mean　to　go

for　ever　so　long。　　I　mean　to　live　to　be　a　hundred　years　old；　like

Mr。　Thomas　Blewett　of　White　Sands。　　He　says　he's　lived　so　long

'cause　he　always　smoked　tobacco　and　it　killed　all　the　germs。

Can　I　smoke　tobacco　pretty　soon；　Anne？〃



〃No；　Davy；　I　hope　you'll　never　use　tobacco；〃　said　Anne　absently。



〃What'll　you　feel　like　if　the　germs　kill　me　then？〃　demanded　Davy。









Chapter　XV



A　Dream　Turned　Upside　Down





〃Just　one　more　week　and　we　go　back　to　Redmond；〃　said　Anne。

She　was　happy　at　the　thought　of　returning　to　work；　classes

and　Redmond　friends。　　Pleasing　visions　were　also　being　woven

around　Patty's　Place。　　There　was　a　warm　pleasant　sense　of　home

in　the　thought　of　it；　even　though　she　had　never　lived　there。



But　the　summer　had　been　a　very　happy　one；　too　　a　time　of　glad　living

with　summer　suns　and　skies；　a　time　of　keen　delight　in　wholesome　things