anne of the island- 第27部分

〃This　has　been　a　dull；　prosy　day；〃　yawned　Phil；　stretching

herself　idly　on　the　sofa；　having　previously　dispossessed　two

exceedingly　indignant　cats。



Anne　looked　up　from　Pickwick　Papers。　　Now　that　spring

examinations　were　over　she　was　treating　herself　to　Dickens。



〃It　has　been　a　prosy　day　for　us；〃　she　said　thoughtfully；　〃but　to

some　people　it　has　been　a　wonderful　day。　　Some　one　has　been

rapturously　happy　in　it。　　Perhaps　a　great　deed　has　been　done

somewhere　today　　or　a　great　poem　written　　or　a　great　man　born。

And　some　heart　has　been　broken；　Phil。〃



〃Why　did　you　spoil　your　pretty　thought　by　tagging　that　last

sentence　on；　honey？〃　grumbled　Phil。　　〃I　don't　like　to　think　of

broken　hearts　　or　anything　unpleasant。〃



〃Do　you　think　you'll　be　able　to　shirk　unpleasant　things　all　your

life；　Phil？〃



〃Dear　me；　no。　　Am　I　not　up　against　them　now？　　You　don't　call　Alec　and

Alonzo　pleasant　things；　do　you；　when　they　simply　plague　my　life　out？〃



〃You　never　take　anything　seriously；　Phil。〃



〃Why　should　I？　　There　are　enough　folks　who　do。　　The　world　needs

people　like　me；　Anne；　just　to　amuse　it。　　It　would　be　a　terrible

place　if　EVERYBODY　were　intellectual　and　serious　and　in　deep；

deadly　earnest。　　MY　mission　is；　as　Josiah　Allen　says；　‘to　charm

and　allure。'　　Confess　now。　　Hasn't　life　at　Patty's　Place　been

really　much　brighter　and　pleasanter　this　past　winter　because

I've　been　here　to　leaven　you？〃



〃Yes；　it　has；〃　owned　Anne。



〃And　you　all　love　me　　even　Aunt　Jamesina；　who　thinks　I'm　stark　mad。

So　why　should　I　try　to　be　different？　　Oh；　dear；　I'm　so　sleepy。　　I　was

awake　until　one　last　night；　reading　a　harrowing　ghost　story。　　I　read

it　in　bed；　and　after　I　had　finished　it　do　you　suppose　I　could　get　out

of　bed　to　put　the　light　out？　　No！　　And　if　Stella　had　not　fortunately

come　in　late　that　lamp　would　have　burned　good　and　bright　till　morning。

When　I　heard　Stella　I　called　her　in；　explained　my　predicament；　and　got

her　to　put　out　the　light。　　If　I　had　got　out　myself　to　do　it　I　knew

something　would　grab　me　by　the　feet　when　I　was　getting　in　again。

By　the　way；　Anne；　has　Aunt　Jamesina　decided　what　to　do　this　summer？〃



〃Yes；　she's　going　to　stay　here。　　I　know　she's　doing　it　for　the

sake　of　those　blessed　cats；　although　she　says　it's　too　much

trouble　to　open　her　own　house；　and　she　hates　visiting。〃



〃What　are　you　reading？〃



〃Pickwick。〃



〃That's　a　book　that　always　makes　me　hungry；〃　said　Phil。　　〃There's　so

much　good　eating　in　it。　　The　characters　seem　always　to　be　reveling

on　ham　and　eggs　and　milk　punch。　　I　generally　go　on　a　cupboard　rummage

after　reading　Pickwick。　　The　mere　thought　reminds　me　that　I'm　starving。

Is　there　any　tidbit　in　the　pantry；　Queen　Anne？〃



〃I　made　a　lemon　pie　this　morning。　　You　may　have　a　piece　of　it。〃



Phil　dashed　out　to　the　pantry　and　Anne　betook　herself　to　the

orchard　in　company　with　Rusty。　　It　was　a　moist；　pleasantly…

odorous　night　in　early　spring。　　The　snow　was　not　quite　all　gone

from　the　park；　a　little　dingy　bank　of　it　yet　lay　under　the　pines

of　the　harbor　road；　screened　from　the　influence　of　April　suns。

It　kept　the　harbor　road　muddy；　and　chilled　the　evening　air。

But　grass　was　growing　green　in　sheltered　spots　and　Gilbert

had　found　some　pale；　sweet　arbutus　in　a　hidden　corner。

He　came　up　from　the　park；　his　hands　full　of　it。



Anne　was　sitting　on　the　big　gray　boulder　in　the　orchard　looking

at　the　poem　of　a　bare；　birchen　bough　hanging　against　the　pale　red

sunset　with　the　very　perfection　of　grace。　　She　was　building　a

castle　in　air　　a　wondrous　mansion　whose　sunlit　courts　and

stately　halls　were　steeped　in　Araby's　perfume；　and　where　she

reigned　queen　and　chatelaine。　　She　frowned　as　she　saw　Gilbert

coming　through　the　orchard。　　Of　late　she　had　managed　not　to　be

left　alone　with　Gilbert。　　But　he　had　caught　her　fairly　now；　and

even　Rusty　had　deserted　her。



Gilbert　sat　down　beside　her　on　the　boulder　and　held　out　his　Mayflowers。



〃Don't　these　remind　you　of　home　and　our　old　schoolday　picnics；　Anne？〃



Anne　took　them　and　buried　her　face　in　them。



〃I'm　in　Mr。　Silas　Sloane's　barrens　this　very　minute；〃　she　said　rapturously。



〃I　suppose　you　will　be　there　in　reality　in　a　few　days？〃



〃No；　not　for　a　fortnight。　　I'm　going　to　visit　with　Phil　in　Bolingbroke

before　I　go　home。　　You'll　be　in　Avonlea　before　I　will。〃



〃No；　I　shall　not　be　in　Avonlea　at　all　this　summer；　Anne。　　I've　been

offered　a　job　in　the　Daily　News　office　and　I'm　going　to　take　it。〃



〃Oh；〃　said　Anne　vaguely。　　She　wondered　what　a　whole　Avonlea　summer

would　be　like　without　Gilbert。　　Somehow　she　did　not　like　the　prospect。

〃Well；〃　she　concluded　flatly；　〃it　is　a　good　thing　for　you；　of　course。〃



〃Yes；　I've　been　hoping　I　would　get　it。　　It　will　help　me　out　next　year。〃



〃You　mustn't　work　too　HARD；〃　said　Anne；　without　any　very　clear

idea　of　what　she　was　saying。　　She　wished　desperately　that　Phil

would　come　out。　　〃You've　studied　very　constantly　this　winter。

Isn't　this　a　delightful　evening？　　Do　you　know；　I　found　a　cluster

of　white　violets　under　that　old　twisted　tree　over　there　today？

I　felt　as　if　I　had　discovered　a　gold　mine。〃



〃You　are　always　discovering　gold　mines；〃　said　Gilbert　　also　absently。



〃Let　us　go　and　see　if　we　can　find　some　more；〃　suggested　Anne　eagerly。

〃I'll　call　Phil　and　　〃



〃Never　mind　Phil　and　the　violets　just　now；　Anne；〃　said　Gilbert　quietly；

taking　her　hand　in　a　clasp　from　which　she　could　not　free　it。　　〃There　is

something　I　want　to　say　to　you。〃



〃Oh；　don't　say　it；〃　cried　Anne；　pleadingly。　　〃Don't　　PLEASE；　Gilbert。〃



〃I　must。　　Things　can't　go　on　like　this　any　longer。　　Anne；　I　love　you。

You　know　I　do。　　I　　I　can't　tell　you　how　much。　　Will　you　promise　me

that　some　day　you'll　be　my　wife？〃



〃I　　I　can't；〃　said　Anne　miserably。　　〃Oh；　Gilbert　　you　

you've　spoiled　everything。〃



〃Don't　you　care　for　me　at　all？〃　Gilbert　asked　after　a　very

dreadful　pause；　during　which　Anne　had　not　dared　to　look　up。



〃Not　　not　in　that　way。　　I　do　care　a　great　deal　for　you　as　a　friend。

But　I　don't　love　you；　Gilbert。〃



〃But　can't　you　give　me　some　hope　that　you　will　　yet？〃



〃No；　I　can't；〃　exclaimed　Anne　desperately。　　〃I　never；　never　can

love　you　　in　that　way　　Gilbert。　　You　must　never　speak　of　this

to　me　again。〃



There　was　another　pause　　so　long　and　so　dreadful　that　Anne　was

driven　at　last　to　look　up。　　Gilbert's　face　was　white　to　the　lips。

And　his　eyes　　but　Anne　shuddered　and　looked　away。　　There　was

nothing　romantic　about　this。　　Must　proposals　be　either　grotesque

or　　horrible？　　Could　she　ever　forget　Gilbert's　face？



〃Is　there　anybody　else？〃　he　asked　at　last　in　a　low　voice。



〃No　　no；〃　said　Anne　eagerly。　　〃I　don't　care　for　any　one　like

THAT　　and　I　LIKE　you　better　than　anybody　else　in　the　world；

Gilbert。　　And　we　must　　we　must　go　on　being　friends；　Gilbert。〃



Gilbert　gave　a　bitter　little　laugh。



〃Friends！　　Your　friendship　can't　satisfy　me；　Anne。　　I　want　your　love

　and　you　tell　me　I　can　never　have　that。〃



〃I'm　sorry。　　Forgive　me；　Gilbert；〃　was　all　Anne　could　say。

Where；　oh；　where　were　all　the　gracious　and　graceful　speeches

wherewith；　in　imagination；　she　had　been　wont　to　dismiss

rejected　suitors？



Gilbert　released　her　hand　gently。



〃There　isn't　anything　to　forgive。　　There　have　been　times　when　I　thought

you　did　care。　　I've　deceived　myself；　that's　all。　　Goodbye；　Anne。〃



Anne　got　herself　to　her　room；　sat　down　on　her　window　seat　behind

the　pines；　and　cried　bitterly。　　She　felt　as　if　something　incalculably

precious　had　gone　out　of　her　life。　　It　was　Gilbert's　friendship；

of　course。　　Oh；　why　must　she　lose　it　after　this　fashion？



〃What　is　the　matter；　honey？〃　asked　Phil；　coming　in　through

the　moonlit　gloom。



Anne　did　not　answer。　　At　that　moment　she　wished　Phil　were　a

thousand　miles　away。



〃I　suppose　you've　gone　and　refused　Gilbert　Blythe。　　You　are　an　idiot；

Anne　Shirley！〃



〃Do　you　call　it　idiotic　to　refuse　to　marry　a　man　I　don't　love？〃

said　Anne　coldly；　goaded　to　reply。



〃You　don't　know　love　when　you　see　it。　　You've　tricked　something

out　with　your　imagination　that　you　think　love；　and　you　expect　the

real　thing　to　look　like　that。　　There；　that's　the　first　sensible

thing　I've　ever　said　in　my　life。　　I　wonder　how　I　managed　it？〃



〃Phil；〃　pleaded　Anne；　〃please　go　away　and　leave　me　alone　for

a　little　while。　　My　world　has　tumbled　into　pieces。　　I　want　to

reconstruct　it。〃



〃Without　any　Gilbert　in　it？〃　said　Phil；　going。



A　world　without　any　Gilbert　in　it！　　Anne　repeated　the　words　drearily。

Would　it　not　be　a　very　lonely；　forlorn　place？　　Well；　it　was　all

Gilbert's　fault。　　He　had　spoiled　their　beautiful　comradeship。

She　must　just　learn　to　live　without　it。









Chapter　XXI



Roses　of　Yesterday





The　fortnight　Anne　spent　in　Bolingbroke　was　a　very　pleasant　one；

with　a　little　under　current　of　vague　pain　and　dissatisfaction

running　through　it　whenever　she　thought　about　Gilbert。　　There　was

not；　however；　much　time　to　think　about　him。　　〃Mount　Holly；〃　the

beautiful　old　Gordon　homestead；　was　a　very　gay　place；　overrun　by

Phil's　friends　of　both　sexes。　　There　was　quite　a　bewildering

succession　of　drives；　dances；　picnics　and　boating　parties；　all

expressively　lumped　together　by　Phil　under　the　head　of　〃jamborees〃；

Alec　and　Alonzo　were　so　constantly　on　hand　that　Anne　wondered　if

they　ever　did　anything　but　dance　attendance　on　that　will…o'…the…wisp

of　a　Phil。　　They　were　both　nice；　manly　fellows；　but　Anne　would　not

be　drawn　into　any　opinion　as　to　which　was　the　nicer。



〃And　I　depended　so　on　you　to　help　me　make　up　my　mind　which　of　them　I

should　promise　to　marry；〃　mourned　Phil。



〃You　must　do　that　for　yourself。　　You　are　quite　expert　at　making

up　your　mind　as　to　whom　other　people　should　marry；〃　retorted　Anne；

rather　caustically。



〃Oh；　that's　a　very　different　thing；〃　said　Phil；　truly。



But　the　sweetest　incident　of　Anne's　sojourn　in　Bolingbro