youth- 第27部分

down　with　my　face　to　the　garden；　and；　covering　myself　over；　so

far　as　possible；　from　the　mosquitos　and　bats；　fall　to　gazing　in

front　of　me　as　I　listened　to　the　sounds　of　the　night　and　dreamed

of　love　and　happiness。



At　such　times　everything　would　take　on　for　me　a　different

meaning。　The　look　of　the　old　birch　trees；　with　the　one　side　of

their　curling　branches　showing　bright　against　the　moonlit　sky；

and　the　other　darkening　the　bushes　and　carriage…drive　with　their

black　shadows；　the　calm；　rich　glitter　of　the　pond；　ever　swelling

like　a　sound；　the　moonlit　sparkle　of　the　dewdrops　on　the　flowers

in　front　of　the　verandah；　the　graceful　shadows　of　those　flowers

where　they　lay　thrown　upon　the　grey　stonework；　the　cry　of　a　quail

on　the　far　side　of　the　pond；　the　voice　of　some　one　walking　on　the

high　road；　the　quiet；　scarcely　audible　scrunching　of　two　old

birch　trees　against　one　another；　the　humming　of　a　mosquito　at　my

car　under　the　coverlet；　the　fall　of　an　apple　as　it　caught　against

a　branch　and　rustled　among　the　dry　leaves；　the　leapings　of　frogs

as　they　approached　almost　to　the　verandah…steps　arid　sat　with　the

moon　shining　mysteriously　on　their　green　backsall　these　things

took　on　for　me　a　strange　significancea　significance　of

exceeding　beauty　and　of　infinite　love。　Before　me　would　rise　SHE；

with　long　black　tresses　and　a　high　bust；　but　always　mournful　in

her　fairness；　with　bare　hands　and　voluptuous　arms。　She　loved　me；

and　for　one　moment　of　her　love　I　would　sacrifice　my　whole　life！

But　the　moon　would　go　on　rising　higher　and　higher；　and　shining

brighter　and　brighter；　in　the　heavens；　the　rich　sparkle　of　the

pond　would　swell　like　a　sound；　and　become　ever　more　and　more

brilliant；　while　the　shadows　would　grow　blacker　and　blacker；　and

the　sheen　of　the　moon　more　and　more　transparent：　until；　as　I

looked　at　and　listened　to　all　this；　something　would　say　to　me

that　SHE　with　the　bare　hands　and　voluptuous　arms　did　not

represent　ALL　happiness；　that　love　for　her　did　not　represent　ALL

good；　so　that；　the　more　I　gazed　at　the　full；　high…riding　moon；

the　higher　would　true　beauty　and　goodness　appear　to　me　to　lie；

and　the　purer　and　purer　they　would　seemthe　nearer　and　nearer　to

Him　who　is　the　source　of　all　beauty　and　all　goodness。　And　tears

of　a　sort　of　unsatisfied；　yet　tumultuous；　joy　would　fill　my　eyes。



Always；　too；　I　was　alone；　yet　always；　too；　it　seemed　to　me　that；

although　great；　mysterious　Nature　could　draw　the　shining　disc　of

the　moon　to　herself；　and　somehow　hold　in　some　high；　indefinite

place　the　pale…blue　sky；　and　be　everywhere　around　me；　and　fill　of

herself　the　infinity　of　space；　while　I　was　but　a　lowly　worm；

already　defiled　with　the　poor；　petty　passions　of　humanityalways

it　seemed　to　me　that；　nevertheless；　both　Nature　and　the　moon　and

I　were　one。



XXXIII



OUR　NEIGHBOURS



ON　the　first　day　after　our　arrival；　I　had　been　greatly　astonished

that　Papa　should　speak　of　our　neighbours；　the　Epifanovs；　as　〃nice

people；〃　and　still　more　so　that　he　should　go　to　call　upon　them。

The　fact　was　that　we　had　long　been　at　law　over　some　land　with

this　family。　When　a　child；　I　had　more　than　once　heard　Papa　raging

over　the　litigation；　abusing　the　Epifanovs；　and　warning　people

（so　I　understood　him）　against　them。　Likewise；　I　had　heard　Jakoff

speak　of　them　as　〃our　enemies〃　and　〃black　people〃　and　could

remember　Mamma　requesting　that　their　names　should　never　be

mentioned　in　her　presence；　nor；　indeed；　in　the　house　at　all。



From　these　data　I；　as　a　child；　had　arrived　at　the　clear　and　assured

conviction　that　the　Epifanovs　were　foemen　of　ours　who　would　at

any　time　stab　or　strangle　both　Papa　and　his　sons　if　they　should

ever　come　across　them；　as　well　as　that　they　were　〃black　people〃；

in　the　literal　sense　of　the　term。　Consequently；　when；　in　the　year

that　Mamma　died；　I　chanced　to　catch　sight　of　Avdotia　（〃La　Belle

Flamande〃）　on　the　occasion　of　a　visit　which　she　paid　to　my

mother；　I　found　it　hard　to　believe　that　she　did　not　come　of　a

family　of　negroes。　All　the　same；　I　had　the　lowest　possible

opinion　of　the　family；　and；　for　all　that　we　saw　much　of　them　that

summer；　continued　to　be　strongly　prejudiced　against　them。　As　a

matter　of　fact；　their　household　only　consisted　of　the　mother　（a

widow　of　fifty；　but　a　very　well…preserved；　cheery　old　woman）；　a

beautiful　daughter　named　Avdotia；　and　a　son；　Peter；　who　was　a

stammerer；　unmarried；　and　of　very　serious　disposition。



For　the　last　twenty　years　before　her　husband's　death；　Madame

Epifanov　had　lived　apart　from　himsometimes　in　St。　Petersburg；

where　she　had　relatives；　but　more　frequently　at　her　village　of

Mitishtchi；　which　stood　some　three　versts　from　ours。　Yet　the

neighbourhood　had　taken　to　circulating　such　horrible　tales

concerning　her　mode　of　life　that　Messalina　was；　by　comparison；　a

blameless　child：　which　was　why　my　mother　had　requested　her　name

never　to　be　mentioned。　As　a　matter　of　fact；　not　one…tenth　part　of

the　most　cruel　of　all　gossipthe　gossip　of　country…housesis

worthy　of　credence；　and　although；　when　I　first　made　Madame's

acquaintance；　she　had　living　with　her　in　the　house　a　clerk　named

Mitusha；　who　had　been　promoted　from　a　serf；　and　who；　curled；

pomaded；　and　dressed　in　a　frockcoat　of　Circassian　pattern；　always

stood　behind　his　mistress's　chair　at　luncheon；　while　from　time　to

time　she　invited　her　guests　to　admire　his　handsome　eyes　and

mouth；　there　was　nothing　for　gossip　to　take　hold　of。　I　believe；

too；　that　since　the　timeten　years　earlierwhen　she　had　recalled

her　dutiful　son　Peter　from　the　service；　she　had　wholly　changed

her　mode　of　living。　It　seems　her　property　had　never　been　a　large

onemerely　a　hundred　souls　or　so＇This　refers；　of　course；　to　the

days　of　serfdom。＇and　that　during　her　previous　life　of　gaiety　she

had　spent　a　great　deal。　Consequently；　when；　some　ten　years　ago；

those　portions　of　the　property　which　had　been　mortgaged　and　re…

mortgaged　had　been　foreclosed　upon　and　compulsorily　sold　by

auction；　she　had　come　to　the　conclusion　that　all　these　unpleasant

details　of　distress　upon　and　valuation　of　her　property　had　been

due　not　so　much　to　failure　to　pay　the　interest　as　to　the　fact

that　she　was　a　woman：　wherefore　she　had　written　to　her　son　（then

serving　with　his　regiment）　to　come　and　save　his　mother　from　her

embarrassments；　and　he；　like　a　dutiful　sonconceiving　that　his

first　duty　was　to　comfort　his　mother　in　her　old　agehad

straightway　resigned　his　commission　（for　all　that　he　had　been

doing　well　in　his　profession；　and　was　hoping　soon　to　become

independent）；　and　had　come　to　join　her　in　the　country。



Despite　his　plain　face；　uncouth　demeanour；　and　fault　of

stuttering；　Peter　was　a　man　of　unswerving　principles　and　of　the

most　extraordinary　good　sense。　Somehowby　small　borrowings；

sundry　strokes　of　business；　petitions　for　grace；　and　promises　to

repayhe　contrived　to　carry　on　the　property；　and；　making　himself

overseer；　donned　his　father's　greatcoat　（still　preserved　in　a

drawer）；　dispensed　with　horses　and　carriages；　discouraged　guests

from　calling　at　Mitishtchi；　fashioned　his　own　sleighs；　increased

his　arable　land　and　curtailed　that　of　the　serfs；　felled　his　own

timber；　sold　his　produce　in　person；　and　saw　to　matters　generally。

Indeed；　he　swore；　and　kept　his　oath；　that；　until　all　outstanding

debts　were　paid；　he　would　never　wear　any　clothes　than　his

father's　greatcoat　and　a　corduroy　jacket　which　he　had　made　for

himself；　nor　yet　ride　in　aught　but　a　country　waggon；　drawn　by

peasants'　horses。　This　stoical　mode　of　life　he　sought　to　apply

also　to　his　family；　so　far　as　the　sympathetic　respect　which　he

conceived　to　be　his　mother's　due　would　allow　of；　so　that；

although；　in　the　drawing…room；　he　would　show　her　only　stuttering

servility；　and　fulfil　all　her　wishes；　and　blame　any　one　who　did

not　do　precisely　as　she　bid　them；　in　his　study　or　his　office　he

would　overhaul　the　cook　if　she　had　served　up　so　much　as　a　duck

without　his　orders；　or　any　one　responsible　for　sending　a　serf

（even　though　at　Madame's　own　bidding）　to　inquire　after　a

neighbour's　health　or　for　despatching　the　peasant　girls　into　the

wood　to　gather　wild　raspberries　instead　of　setting　them　to　weed

the　kitchen…garden。



Within　four　years　every　debt　had　been　repaid；　and　Peter　had　gone

to　Moscow　and　returned　thence　in　a　new　jacket　and　tarantass。　＇A

two…wheeled　carriage。＇　Yet；　despite　this　flourishing　position　of

affairs；　he　still　preserved　the　stoical　tendencies　in　which；　to

tell　the　truth；　he　took　a　certain　vague　pride　before　his　family

and　strangers；　since　he　would　frequently　say　with　a　stutter：　〃Any

one　who　REALLY　wishes　to　see　me　will　be　glad　to　see　me　even　in　my

dressing…gown；　and　to　eat　nothing　but　shtchi　＇Cabbage…soup。＇　and

kasha　＇Buckwheat　gruel。＇　at　my　table。〃　〃That　is　what　I　eat

myself；〃　he　would　add。　In　his　every　word　and　movement　spoke　pride

based　upon　a　consciousness　of　having　sacrificed　himself　for　his

mother　and　redeemed　the　property；　as　well　as　contempt　for　any　one

who　had　not　done　something　of　the　same　kind。



The　mother　and　daughter　were　altogether　different　characters　from

Peter；　as　well　as　altogether　different　from　one　another。　The

former　was　one　of　the　most　agreeable；　uniformly　good…tempered；

and　cheerful　women　whom　one　could　possibly　meet。　Anything

attractive　and　genuinely　happy　delighted　her。　Even　the　faculty　of

being　pleased　with　the　sight　of　young　people　enjoying　themselves

（it　is　only　in　the　best…natured　of　elderly　folk　that　one　meets

with　that　TRAIT）　she　possessed　to　the　full。　On　the　other　hand；

her　daughter　was　of　a　grave　turn　of　mind。　Rather；　she　was　of　that

peculiarly　careless；　absent…minded；　gratuitously　distant　bearing

which　commonly　distinguishes　unmarried　beauties。　Whenever　she

tried　to　be　gay；　her　gaiety　somehow　seemed　to　be　unnatural　to

her；　so　that　she　always　appeared　to　be　laughing　either　at　herself

or　at　the　persons　to　whom　she　was　speaking　or　at　the　world　in

generala　thing　which；　possibly；　she　ha