This； too； you will do well to bear in mind。
＇14＇
e now； and let me place before you a few hints about right training。
God the Father； God the Son； God the Holy Ghost bless them； and make
them words in season to you all Reject them not because they are blunt
and simple； despise them not because they contain nothing new。 Be very
sure； if you would train children for heaven； they are hints that ought
not to be lightly set aside。
I。 First； then； if you would train your children rightly； train them in
the way they should go； and not in the way that they would。
Remember children are born with a decided bias towards evil； and
therefore if you let them choose for themselves； they are certain to
choose wrong。
The mother cannot tell what her tender infant may grow up to be；tall
or short； weak or strong； wise or foolish： he may be any of these
things or not；it is all uncertain。 But one thing the mother can say
with certainty： he will have a corrupt and sinful heart。 It is natural
to us to do wrong。 〃Foolishness；〃 says Solomon； 〃is bound in the heart
of a child〃 （Prov。 22：15）。 〃A child left to himself bringeth his mother
to shame〃 （Prov。 29：15）。 Our hearts are like the earth on which we
tread； let it alone； and it is sure to bear weeds。
If； then； you would deal wisely with your child； you must not leave him
to the guidance of his own will。 Think for him； judge for him； act for
him； just as you would for one weak and blind； but for pity's sake；
give him not up to his own wayward tastes and inclinations。 It must not
be his likings and wishes that are consulted。 He knows not yet what is
good for his mind and soul； any more than what is good for his body。
You do not let him decide what he shall eat； and what he shall drink；
and how he shall be clothed。 Be consistent； and deal with his mind in
like manner。 Train him in the way that is scriptural and right； and not
in the way that he fancies。
If you cannot make up your mind to this first principle of Christian
training； it is useless for you to read any further。 Self…will is
almost the first thing that appears in a child's mind； and it must be
your first step to resist it。
II。 Train up your child with all tenderness； affection； and patience。。
I do not mean that you are to spoil him； but I do mean that you should
let him see that you love him。
Love should be the silver thread that runs through all your conduct。
Kindness； gentleness； long…suffering； forbearance； patience； sympathy；
a willingness to enter into childish troubles； a readiness to take part
in childish joys；…these are the cords by which a child may be led
most easily；these are the clues you must follow if you would find the
way to his heart。
Few are to be found； even among grown…up people； who are not more easy
to draw than to drive。 There is that in all our minds which rises in
arms against pulsion； we set up our backs and stiffen our necks at
the very idea of a forced obedience。 We are like young horses in the
hand of a breaker： handle them kindly； and make much of them； and by
and by you may guide them with thread； use them roughly and violently；
and it will be many a month before you get the mastery of them at all。
Now children's minds are cast in much the same mould as our own。
Sternness and severity of manner chill them and throw them back。 It
shuts up their hearts； and you will weary yourself to find the door。
But let them only see that you have an affectionate feeling towards
them；that you are really desirous to make them happy； and do them
good；that if you punish them； it is intended for their profit； and
that； like the pelican； you would give your heart's blood to nourish
their souls； let them see this； I say； and they will soon be all your
own。 But they must be wooed with kindness； if their attention is ever
to be won。
And surely reason itself might teach us this lesson。 Children are weak
and tender creatures； and； as such； they need patient and considerate
treatment。 We must handle them delicately； like frail machines； lest by
rough fingering we do more harm than good。 They are like young plants；
and need gentle watering；often； but little at a time。
We must not expect all things at once。 We must remember what children
are； and teach them as they are able to bear。 Their minds are like a
lump of metalnot to be forged and made useful at once； but only by a
succession of little blows。 Their understandings are like narrow…necked
vessels we must pour in the wine of knowledge gradually； or much of it
will be spilled and lost。 〃Line upon line； and precept upon precept；
here a little and there a little；〃 must be our rule。 The whetstone does
its work slowly； but frequent rubbing will bring the scythe to a fine
edge。 Truly there is need of patience in training a child； but without
it nothing can be done。
Nothing will pensate for the absence of this tenderness and love。 A
minister may speak the truth as it is in Jesus； clearly； forcibly；
unanswerably； but if he does not speak it in love； few souls will be
won。 Just so you must set before your children their duty；mand；
threaten； punish； reason； but if affection be wanting in your
treatment； your labour will be all in vain。
Love is one grand secret of successful training。 Anger and harshness
may frighten； but they will not persuade the child that you are right；
and if he sees you often out of temper； you will soon cease to have his
respect。 A father who speaks to his son as Saul did to Jonathan （1 Sam。
20：30）； need not expect to retain his influence over that son's mind。
Try hard to keep up a hold on your child's affections。 It is a
dangerous thing to make your children afraid of you。 Anything is almost
better than reserve and constraint between your child and yourself； and
this will e in with fear。 Fear puts an end to openness of
manner；…fear leads to concealment；fear sows the seed of much
hypocrisy； and leads to many a lie。 There is a mine of truth in the
Apostle's words to the Colossians： 〃Fathers； provoke not your children
to anger； lest they be discouraged〃 （Col。 3：21）。 Let not the advice it
contains be overlooked。
III。 Train your children with an abiding persuasion ca your mind that
much depends upon you。
Grace is the strongest of all principles。 See what a revolution grace
effects when it es into the heart of an old sinner；how it
overturns the strongholds of Satan；how it casts down mountains； fills
up valleys；…makes crooked things straight；and new creates the whole
man。 Truly nothing is impossible to grace。
Nature； too； is very strong。 See how it struggles against the things of
the kingdom of God；how it fights against every attempt to be more
holy；how it keeps up an unceasing warfare within us to the last hour
of life。 Nature indeed is strong。
But after nature and grace； undoubtedly； there is nothing more powerful
than education。 Early habits （if I may so speak） are everything with
us； under God。 We are made what we are by training。 Our character takes
the form of that mould into which our first years are cast。 ＇15＇
We depend； in a vast measure； on those who bring us up。 We get from
them a colour； a taste； a bias which cling to us more or less all our
lives。 We catch the language of our nurses and mothers； and learn to
speak it almost insensibly； and unquestionably we catch something of
their manners； ways； and mind at the same time。 Time only will show； I
suspect； how much we all owe to early impressions； and how many things
in us may be traced up to seeds sown in the days of our very infancy；
by those who were about us。 A very learned Englishman； Mr。 Locke； has
gone so far as to say： 〃That of all the men we meet with； nine parts
out of ten are what they are； good or bad； useful or not； according to
their education。〃
And all this is one of God's merciful arrangements。 He gives your
children a mind that will receive impressions like moist clay。 He gives
them a disposition at the starting…point of life to believe what you
tell them； and to take for granted what you advise them； and to trust
your word rather than a stranger's。 He gives you； in short； a golden
opportunity of doing them good。 See that the opportunity be not
neglected； and thrown away。 Once let slip； it is gone for ever。
Beware of that miserable delusion into which some have fallen； that
parents can do nothing for their children； that you must leave them
alone； wait for grace； and sit still。 These persons have wishes for
their children in Balaam's fashion；they would like them to die the
death of the righteous man； but they do nothing to make them live his
life。 They desire much； and have nothing。 And the devil rejoices to see
such reasoning； just as he always does over anything which seems to
excuse indolence； or to encourage neglect of means。
I know that you cannot convert your child。 I know well that they who
are born again are born； not of the will of man； but of God。 But I know
also that God says expressly； 〃Train up a child in the way he should
go；〃 and that He never laid a mand on man which He would not give
man grace to perform。 And I know； too； that our duty is not to stand
still and dispute； but to go forward and obey。 It is just in the going
forward that God will meet us。 The path of obedience is the way in
which He gives the blessing。 We have only to do as the servants were
manded at the marriage feast in Cana； to fill the water…pots with
water； and we may safely leave it to the Lord to turn that water into
wine。
IV。 Train with this thought continually before your eyes that the
soul of your child is the first thing to be considered。
Precious； no doubt； are these little ones in your eyes； but if you love
them； think often of their souls。 No interest should weigh with you so