repaid by an ingratitude so bad； so dreadful； that at last her
excellent patroness was obliged to separate her from her own young
ones； fearful lest her vicious example should contaminate their
purity： she has sent her here to be healed； even as the Jews of old
sent their diseased to the troubled pool of Bethesda； and； teachers；
superintendent； I beg of you not to allow the waters to stagnate round
her。'
With this sublime conclusion； Mr。 Brocklehurst adjusted the top
button of his surtout； muttered something to his family； who rose；
bowed to Miss Temple； and then all the great people sailed in state
from the room。 Turning at the door； my judge said…
'Let her stand half an hour longer on that stool； and let no one
speak to her during the remainder of the day。'
There was I； then； mounted aloft； I； who had said I could not
bear the shame of standing on my natural feet in the middle of the
room； was now exposed to general view on a pedestal of infamy。 What my
sensations were； no language can describe； but just as they all
rose； stifling my breath and constricting my throat； a girl came up
and passed me： in passing； she lifted her eyes。 What a strange light
inspired them！ What an extraordinary sensation that ray sent through
me！ How the new feeling bore me up！ It was as if a martyr； a hero； had
passed a slave or victim； and imparted strength in the transit。 I
mastered the rising hysteria； lifted up my head； and took a firm stand
on the stool。 Helen Burns asked some slight questions about her work
of Miss Smith； was chidden for the triviality of the inquiry； returned
to her place； and smiled at me as she again went by。 What a smile！ I
remember it now； and I know that it was the effluence of fine
intellect； of true courage； it lit up her marked lineaments； her
thin face； her sunken grey eye； like a reflection from the aspect of
an angel。 Yet at that moment Helen Burns wore on her arm 'the untidy
badge；' scarcely an hour ago I had heard her condemned by Miss
Scatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because she had
blotted an exercise in copying it out。 Such is the imperfect nature of
man！ such spots are there on the disc of the clearest planet； and eyes
like Miss Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects； and are blind
to the full brightness of the orb。
CHAPTER VIII
ERE the half…hour ended； five o'clock struck； school was dismissed；
and all were gone into the refectory to tea。 I now ventured to
descend： it was deep dusk； I retired into a corner and sat down on the
floor。 The spell by which I had been so far supported began to
dissolve； reaction took place； and soon； so overwhelming was the grief
that seized me； I sank prostrate with my face to the ground。 Now I
wept： Helen Burns was not here； nothing sustained me； left to myself I
abandoned myself； and my tears watered the boards。 I had meant to be
so good； and to do so much at Lowood： to make so many friends； to earn
respect and win affection。 Already I had made visible progress； that
very morning I had reached the head of my class； Miss Miller had
praised me warmly； Miss Temple had smiled approbation； she had
promised to teach me drawing； and to let me learn French； if I
continued to make similar improvement two months longer： and then I
was well received by my fellow…pupils； treated as an equal by those of
my own age； and not molested by any； now； here I lay again crushed and
trodden on； and could I ever rise more？
'Never；' I thought； and ardently I wished to die。 While sobbing out
this wish in broken accents； some one approached： I started up…
again Helen Burns was near me； the fading fires just showed her coming
up the long； vacant room； she brought my coffee and bread。
'Come； eat something；' she said； but I put both away from me；
feeling as if a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my present
condition。 Helen regarded me； probably with surprise： I could not
now abate my agitation； though I tried hard； I continued to weep
aloud。 She sat down on the ground near me； embraced her knees with her
arms； and rested her head upon them； in that attitude she remained
silent as an Indian。 I was the first who spoke…
'Helen； why do you stay with a girl whom everybody believes to be a
liar？'
'Everybody； Jane？ Why； there are only eighty people who have
heard you called so； and the world contains hundreds of millions。'
'But what have I to do with millions？ The eighty； I know； despise
me。'
'Jane； you are mistaken： probably not one in the school either
despises or dislikes you： many； I am sure； pity you much。'
'How can they pity me after what Mr。 Brocklehurst has said？'
'Mr。 Brocklehurst is not a god： nor is he even a great and
admired man； he is little liked here； he never took steps to make
himself liked。 Had he treated you as an especial favourite； you
would have found enemies； declared or covert； all around you； as it
is； the greater number would offer you sympathy if they dared。
Teachers and pupils may look coldly on you for a day or two； but
friendly feelings are concealed in their hearts； and if you
persevere in doing well； these feelings will ere long appear so much
the more evidently for their temporary suppression。 Besides； Jane'…
she paused。
'Well； Helen？' said I； putting my hand into hers： she chafed my
fingers gently to warm them； and went on…
'If all the world hated you； and believed you wicked； while your
own conscience approved you； and absolved you from guilt； you would
not be without friends。'
'No； I know I should think well of myself； but that is not
enough： if others don't love me I would rather die than live… I cannot
bear to be solitary and hated； Helen。 Look here； to gain some real
affection from you； or Miss Temple； or any other whom I truly love；
I would willingly submit to have the bone of my arm broken； or to
let a bull toss me； or to stand behind a kicking horse； and let it
dash its hoof at my chest…'
'Hush； Jane！ you think too much of the love of human beings； you
are too impulsive； too vehement； the sovereign hand that created
your frame； and put life into it； has provided you with other
resources than your feeble self； or than creatures feeble as you。
Besides this earth； and besides the race of men； there is an invisible
world and a kingdom of spirits： that world is round us； for it is
everywhere； and those spirits watch us； for they are commissioned to
guard us； and if we were dying in pain and shame； if scorn smote us on
all sides； and hatred crushed us； angels see our tortures； recognise
our innocence （if innocent we be： as I know you are of this charge
which Mr。 Brocklehurst has weakly and pompously repeated at secondhand
from Mrs。 Reed； for I read a sincere nature in your ardent eyes and on
your clear front）； and God waits only the separation of spirit from
flesh to crown us with a full reward。 Why； then； should we ever sink
overwhelmed with distress； when life is so soon over； and death is
so certain an entrance to happiness… to glory？'
I was silent； Helen had calmed me； but in the tranquillity she
imparted there was an alloy of inexpressible sadness。 I felt the
impression of woe as she spoke； but I could not tell whence it came；
and when； having done speaking； she breathed a little fast and coughed
a short cough； I momentarily forgot my own sorrows to yield to a vague
concern for her。
Resting my head on Helen's shoulder； I put my arms round her waist；
she drew me to her； and we reposed in silence。 We had not sat long
thus； when another person came in。 Some heavy clouds； swept from the
sky by a rising wind； had left the moon bare； and her light； streaming
in through a window near； shone full both on us and on the approaching
figure； which we at once recognised as Miss Temple。
'I came on purpose to find you； Jane Eyre；' said she； 'I want you
in my room； and as Helen Burns is with you； she may come too。'
We went； following the superintendent's guidance； we had to
thread some intricate passages； and mount a staircase before we
reached her apartment； it contained a good fire； and looked
cheerful。 Miss Temple told Helen Burns to be seated in a low arm…chair
on one side of the hearth； and herself taking another； she called me
to her side。
'Is it all over？' she asked； looking down at my face。 'Have you
cried your grief away？'
'I am afraid I never shall do that。'
'Why？'
'Because I have been wrongly accused； and you； ma'am； and everybody
else； will now think me wicked。'
'We shall think you what you prove yourself to be； my child。
Continue to act as a good girl； and you will satisfy us。'
'Shall I； Miss Temple？'
'You will；' said she； passing her arm round me。 'And now tell me
who is the lady whom Mr。 Brocklehurst called your benefactress？'
'Mrs。 Reed； my uncle's wife。 My uncle is dead； and he left me to
her care。'
'Did she not； then； adopt you of her own accord？'
'No； ma'am； she was sorry to have to do it： but my uncle； as I have
often heard the servants say； got her to promise before he died that
she would always keep me。'
'Well now； Jane； you know； or at least I will tell you； that when a
criminal is accused； he is always allowed to speak in his own defence。
You have been charged with falsehood； defend yourself to me as well as
you can。 Say whatever your memory suggests as true； but add nothing
and exaggerate nothing。'
I resolved； in the depth of my heart； that I would be most
moderate… most correct； and； having reflected a few minutes in order
to arrange coherently what I had to say； I told her all the story of
my sad childhood。 Exhausted by emotion； my language was more subdued
than it generally was when it developed that sad theme； and mindful of
Helen's warnings against the indulgence of resentment； I infused
into the narrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary。 Thus
restrained and simplified； it sounded more credible： I felt as I
went on that Miss Temple fully believed me。
In the course of the tale I