phantasmal white greatcoats and tilted hats of 1824。 Two races meet： races alike and diverse。 Two performances are played before our eyes； but the change seems merely of impersonators； of scenery； of costume。 Plot and passion are the same。 It is the fall of the spun shilling whether seventy…one or twenty…four has the best of it。
In a future number we hope to give a glance at the individualities of the present； and see whether the cast shall be head or tail … whether we or the readers of the LAPSUS stand higher in the balance。
COLLEGE PAPERS CHAPTER II … THE MODERN STUDENT CONSIDERED GENERALLY
WE have now reached the difficult portion of our task。 MR。 TATLER； for all that we care； may have been as virulent as he liked about the students of a former； but for the iron to touch our sacred selves； for a brother of the Guild to betray its most privy infirmities； let such a Judas look to himself as he passes on his way to the Scots Law or the Diagnostic； below the solitary lamp at the corner of the dark quadrangle。 We confess that this idea alarms us。 We enter a protest。 We bind ourselves over verbally to keep the peace。 We hope； moreover； that having thus made you secret to our misgivings； you will excuse us if we be dull； and set that down to caution which you might before have charged to the account of stupidity。
The natural tendency of civilisation is to obliterate those distinctions which are the best salt of life。 All the fine old professional flavour in language has evaporated。 Your very gravedigger has forgotten his avocation in his electorship； and would quibble on the Franchise over Ophelia's grave； instead of more appropriately discussing the duration of bodies under ground。 From this tendency； from this gradual attrition of life； in which everything pointed and characteristic is being rubbed down； till the whole world begins to slip between our fingers in smooth undistinguishable sands； from this； we say； it follows that we must not attempt to join MR。 TALLER in his simple division of students into LAW； DIVINITY； and MEDICAL。 Nowadays the Faculties may shake hands over their follies； and； like Mrs。 Frail and Mrs。 Foresight （in LOVE FOR LOVE） they may stand in the doors of opposite class…rooms； crying： 'Sister； Sister … Sister everyway！' A few restrictions； indeed； remain to influence the followers of individual branches of study。 The Divinity； for example； must be an avowed believer； and as this； in the present day； is unhappily considered by many as a confession of weakness； he is fain to choose one of two ways of gilding the distasteful orthodox bolus。 Some swallow it in a thin jelly of metaphysics； for it is even a credit to believe in God on the evidence of some crack…jaw philosopher； although it is a decided slur to believe in Him on His own authority。 Others again （and this we think the worst method）； finding German grammar a somewhat dry morsel； run their own little heresy as a proof of independence； and deny one of the cardinal doctrines that they may hold the others without being laughed at。
Besides； however； such influences as these； there is little more distinction between the faculties than the traditionary ideal； handed down through a long sequence of students； and getting rounder and more featureless at each successive session。 The plague of uniformity has descended on the College。 Students （and indeed all sorts and conditions of men） now require their faculty and character hung round their neck on a placard； like the scenes in Shakespeare's theatre。 And in the midst of all this weary sameness； not the least common feature is the gravity of every face。 No more does the merry medical run eagerly in the clear winter morning up the rugged sides of Arthur's Seat； and hear the church bells begin and thicken and die away below him among the gathered smoke of the city。 He will not break Sunday to so little purpose。 He no longer finds pleasure in the mere output of his surplus energy。 He husbands his strength； and lays out walks； and reading； and amusement with deep consideration； so that he may get as much work and pleasure out of his body as he can； and waste none of his energy on mere impulse； or such flat enjoyment as an excursion in the country。
See the quadrangle in the interregnum of classes； in those two or three minutes when it is full of passing students； and we think you will admit that； if we have not made it 'an habitation of dragons；' we have at least transformed it into 'a court for owls。' Solemnity broods heavily over the enclosure； and wherever you seek it； you will find a dearth of merriment； an absence of real youthful enjoyment。 You might as well try
'To move wild laughter in the throat of death'
as to excite any healthy stir among the bulk of this staid company。
The studious congregate about the doors of the different classes； debating the matter of the lecture； or comparing note…books。 A reserved rivalry sunders them。 Here are some deep in Greek particles： there； others are already inhabitants of that land
'Where entity and quiddity； 'Like ghosts of defunct bodies fly … Where Truth in person does appear Like words congealed in northern air。'
But none of them seem to find any relish for their studies … no pedantic love of this subject or that lights up their eyes … science and learning are only means for a livelihood； which they have considerately embraced and which they solemnly pursue。 'Labour's pale priests；' their lips seem incapable of laughter； except in the way of polite recognition of professorial wit。 The stains of ink are chronic on their meagre fingers。 They walk like Saul among the asses。
The dandies are not less subdued。 In 1824 there was a noisy dapper dandyism abroad。 Vulgar； as we should now think； but yet genial … a matter of white greatcoats and loud voices … strangely different from the stately frippery that is rife at present。 These men are out of their element in the quadrangle。 Even the small remains of boisterous humour； which still clings to any collection of young men； jars painfully on their morbid sensibilities； and they beat a hasty retreat to resume their perfunctory march along Princes Street。 Flirtation is to them a great social duty； a painful obligation； which they perform on every occasion in the same chill official manner； and with the same commonplace advances； the same dogged observance of traditional behaviour。 The shape of their raiment is a burden almost greater than they can bear； and they halt in their walk to preserve the due adjustment of their trouser…knees； till one would fancy he had mixed in a procession of Jacobs。 We speak； of course； for ourselves； but we would as soon associate with a herd of sprightly apes as with these gloomy modern beaux。 Alas； that our Mirabels； our Valentines； even our Brummels； should have left their mantles upon nothing more amusing！
Nor are the fast men less constrained。 Solemnity； even in dissipation； is the order of the day； and they go to the devil with a perverse seriousness； a systematic rationalism of wickedness that would have surprised the simpler sinners of old。 Some of these men whom we see gravely conversing on the steps have but a slender acquaintance with each other。 Their intercourse consists principally of mutual bulletins of depravity； and； week after week； as they meet they reckon up their items of transgression； and give an abstract of their downward progress for approval and encouragement。 These folk form a freemasonry of their own。 An oath is the shibboleth of their sinister fellowship。 Once they hear a man swear； it is wonderful how their tongues loosen and their bashful spirits take enlargement； under the consciousness of brotherhood。 There is no folly； no pardoning warmth of temper about them； they are as steady…going and systematic in their own way as the studious in theirs。
Not that we are without merry men。 No。 We shall not be ungrateful to those； whose grimaces； whose ironical laughter； whose active feet in the 'College Anthem' have beguiled so many weary hours and added a pleasant variety to the strain of close attention。 But even these are too evidently professional in their antics。 They go about cogitating puns and inventing tricks。 It is their vocation； Hal。 They are the gratuitous jesters of the class…room； and； like the clown when he leaves the stage； their merriment too often sinks as the bell rings the hour of liberty； and they pass forth by the Post…Office； grave and sedate； and meditating fresh gambols for the morrow。
This is the impression left on the mind of any observing student by too many of his fellows。 They seem all frigid old men； and one pauses to think how such an unnatural state of matters is produced。 We feel inclined to blame for it the unfortunate absence of UNIVERSITY FEELING which is so marked a characteristic of our Edinburgh students。 Academical interests are so few and far between … students； as students； have so little in common； except a peevish rivalry … there is such an entire want of broad college sympathies and ordinary college friendships； that we fancy that no University in the kingdom is in so poor a plight。 Our system is full of anomalies。 A； who cut B whilst he was a shabby student； curries sedulously up to him and cudgels his memory for anecdotes about him when he becomes the great so…and…so。 Let there be an end of this shy； proud reserve on the one hand； and this shuddering fine ladyism on the other； and we think we shall find both ourselves and the College bettered。 Let it be a sufficient reason for intercourse that two men sit together on the same benches。 Let the great A be held excused for nodding to the shabby B in Princes Street； if he can say； 'That fellow is a student。' Once this could be brought about； we think you would find the whole heart of the University beat faster。 We think you would find a fusion among the students； a growth of common feelings； an increasing sympathy between class and class； whose influence （in such a heterogeneous company as ours） might be of incalculable