end of the tether- 第31部分

remained　thoughtful　for　a　moment。　　〃It's　funny；〃　he



said　to　himself；　〃but　you　can　never　tell　whether　that



man　has　seen　you　or　not。　　He　might　have　heard　me



breathe　this　time。〃







He　was　a　wonderful　man　when　all　was　said　and　done。



They　said　he　had　had　a　name　in　his　day。　　Mr。　Sterne



could　well　believe　it；　and　he　concluded　serenely　that



Captain　Whalley　must　be　able　to　see　people　more　or　less



as　himself　just　now；　for　instancebut　not　being　cer…



tain　of　anybody；　had　to　keep　up　that　unnoticing　silence



of　manner　for　fear　of　giving　himself　away。　　Mr。　Sterne



was　a　shrewd　guesser。







This　necessity　of　every　moment　brought　home　to　Cap…



tain　Whalley's　heart　the　humiliation　of　his　falsehood。



He　had　drifted　into　it　from　paternal　love；　from　in…



credulity；　from　boundless　trust　in　divine　justice　meted



out　to　men's　feelings　on　this　earth。　　He　would　give　his



poor　Ivy　the　benefit　of　another　month's　work；　perhaps



the　affliction　was　only　temporary。　　Surely　God　would



not　rob　his　child　of　his　power　to　help；　and　cast　him



naked　into　a　night　without　end。　　He　had　caught　at



every　hope；　and　when　the　evidence　of　his　misfortune



was　stronger　than　hope；　he　tried　not　to　believe　the　mani…



fest　thing。







In　vain。　　In　the　steadily　darkening　universe　a　sinister



clearness　fell　upon　his　ideas。　　In　the　illuminating　mo…



ments　of　suffering　he　saw　life；　men；　all　things；　the　whole



earth　with　all　her　burden　of　created　nature；　as　he　had



never　seen　them　before。







Sometimes　he　was　seized　with　a　sudden　vertigo　and　an



overwhelming　terror；　and　then　the　image　of　his　daughter



appeared。　　Her；　too；　he　had　never　seen　so　clearly　before。



Was　it　possible　that　he　should　ever　be　unable　to　do



anything　whatever　for　her？　　Nothing。　　And　not　see



her　any　more？　　Never。







Why？　　The　punishment　was　too　great　for　a　little　pre…



sumption；　for　a　little　pride。　　And　at　last　he　came　to



cling　to　his　deception　with　a　fierce　determination　to　carry



it　out　to　the　end；　to　save　her　money　intact；　and　behold



her　once　more　with　his　own　eyes。　　Afterwardswhat？



The　idea　of　suicide　was　revolting　to　the　vigor　of　his



manhood。　　He　had　prayed　for　death　till　the　prayers　had



stuck　in　his　throat。　　All　the　days　of　his　life　he　had



prayed　for　daily　bread；　and　not　to　be　led　into　tempta…



tion；　in　a　childlike　humility　of　spirit。　　Did　words　mean



anything？　　Whence　did　the　gift　of　speech　come？　　The



violent　beating　of　his　heart　reverberated　in　his　head



seemed　to　shake　his　brain　to　pieces。







He　sat　down　heavily　in　the　deck…chair　to　keep　the　pre…



tense　of　his　watch。　　The　night　was　dark。　　All　the　nights



were　dark　now。







〃Serang；〃　he　said；　half　aloud。







〃Ada；　Tuan。　　I　am　here。〃







〃There　are　clouds　on　the　sky？〃







〃There　are；　Tuan。〃







〃Let　her　be　steered　straight。　　North。〃







〃She　is　going　north；　Tuan。〃







The　Serang　stepped　back。　　Captain　Whalley　recog…



nized　Massy's　footfalls　on　the　bridge。







The　engineer　walked　over　to　port　and　returned；　pass…



ing　behind　the　chair　several　times。　　Captain　Whalley



detected　an　unusual　character　as　of　prudent　care　in　this



prowling。　　The　near　presence　of　that　man　brought　with



it　always　a　recrudescence　of　moral　suffering　for　Captain



Whalley。　　It　was　not　remorse。　　After　all；　he　had　done



nothing　but　good　to　the　poor　devil。　　There　was　also



a　sense　of　dangerthe　necessity　of　a　greater　care。







Massy　stopped　and　said







〃So　you　still　say　you　must　go？〃







〃I　must　indeed。〃







〃And　you　couldn't　at　least　leave　the　money　for　a　term



of　years？〃







〃Impossible。〃







〃Can't　trust　it　with　me　without　your　care；　eh？〃







Captain　Whalley　remained　silent。　　Massy　sighed



deeply　over　the　back　of　the　chair。







〃It　would　just　do　to　save　me；〃　he　said　in　a　tremulous



voice。







〃I've　saved　you　once。〃







The　chief　engineer　took　off　his　coat　with　careful



movements；　and　proceeded　to　feel　for　the　brass　hook



screwed　into　the　wooden　stanchion。　　For　this　purpose　he



placed　himself　right　in　front　of　the　binnacle；　thus　hid…



ing　completely　the　compass…card　from　the　quarter…



master　at　the　wheel。　　〃Tuan！〃　the　lascar　at　last　mur…



mured　softly；　meaning　to　let　the　white　man　know　that



he　could　not　see　to　steer。







Mr。　Massy　had　accomplished　his　purpose。　　The　coat



was　hanging　from　the　nail；　within　six　inches　of　the



binnacle。　　And　directly　he　had　stepped　aside　the　quarter…



master；　a　middle…aged；　pock…marked；　Sumatra　Malay；



almost　as　dark　as　a　negro；　perceived　with　amazement



that　in　that　short　time；　in　this　smooth　water；　with　no



wind　at　all；　the　ship　had　gone　swinging　far　out　of　her



course。　　He　had　never　known　her　get　away　like　this



before。　　With　a　slight　grunt　of　astonishment　he　turned



the　wheel　hastily　to　bring　her　head　back　north；　which



was　the　course。　　The　grinding　of　the　steering…chains；



the　chiding　murmurs　of　the　Serang；　who　had　come　over



to　the　wheel；　made　a　slight　stir；　which　attracted　Cap…



tain　Whalley's　anxious　attention。　　He　said；　〃Take



better　care。〃　　Then　everything　settled　to　the　usual　quiet



on　the　bridge。　　Mr。　Massy　had　disappeared。







But　the　iron　in　the　pockets　of　the　coat　had　done　its



work；　and　the　Sofala；　heading　north　by　the　compass；



made　untrue　by　this　simple　device；　was　no　longer　mak…



ing　a　safe　course　for　Pangu　Bay。







The　hiss　of　water　parted　by　her　stem；　the　throb　of　her



engines；　all　the　sounds　of　her　faithful　and　laborious　life；



went　on　uninterrupted　in　the　great　calm　of　the　sea　join…



ing　on　all　sides　the　motionless　layer　of　cloud　over　the



sky。　　A　gentle　stillness　as　vast　as　the　world　seemed　to



wait　upon　her　path；　enveloping　her　lovingly　in　a　su…



preme　caress。　　Mr。　Massy　thought　there　could　be　no



better　night　for　an　arranged　shipwreck。







Run　up　high　and　dry　on　one　of　the　reefs　east　of



Panguwait　for　daylighthole　in　the　bottomout



boatsPangu　Bay　same　evening。　　That's　about　it。　　As



soon　as　she　touched　he　would　hasten　on　the　bridge；　get



hold　of　the　coat　（nobody　would　notice　in　the　dark）；



and　shake　it　upside…down　over　the　side；　or　even　fling



it　into　the　sea。　　A　detail。　　Who　could　guess？　　Coat　been



seen　hanging　there　from　that　hook　hundreds　of　times。



Nevertheless；　when　he　sat　down　on　the　lower　step　of　the



bridge…ladder　his　knees　knocked　together　a　little。　　The



waiting　part　was　the　worst　of　it。　　At　times　he　would



begin　to　pant　quickly；　as　though　he　had　been　running；



and　then　breathe　largely；　swelling　with　the　intimate



sense　of　a　mastered　fate。　　Now　and　then　he　would　hear



the　shuffle　of　the　Serang's　bare　feet　up　there：　quiet；　low



voices　would　exchange　a　few　words；　and　lapse　almost



at　once　into　silence。　。　。　。







〃Tell　me　directly　you　see　any　land；　Serang。〃







〃Yes；　Tuan。　　Not　yet。〃







〃No；　not　yet；〃　Captain　Whalley　would　agree。







The　ship　had　been　the　best　friend　of　his　decline。　　He



had　sent　all　the　money　he　had　made　by　and　in　the



Sofala　to　his　daughter。　　His　thought　lingered　on　the



name。　　How　often　he　and　his　wife　had　talked　over　the



cot　of　the　child　in　the　big　stern…cabin　of　the　Condor；　she



would　grow　up；　she　would　marry；　she　would　love　them；



they　would　live　near　her　and　look　at　her　happinessit



would　go　on　without　end。　　Well；　his　wife　was　dead；　to



the　child　he　had　given　all　he　had　to　give；　he　wished　he



could　come　near　her；　see　her；　see　her　face　once；　live　in



the　sound　of　her　voice；　that　could　make　the　darkness　of



the　living　grave　ready　for　him　supportable。　　He　had



been　starved　of　love　too　long。　　He　imagined　her　tender…



ness。







The　Serang　had　been　peering　forward；　and　now　and



then　glancing　at　the　chair。　　He　fidgeted　restlessly；　and



suddenly　burst　out　close　to　Captain　Whalley







〃Tuan；　do　you　see　anything　of　the　land？〃







The　alarmed　voice　brought　Captain　Whalley　to　his　feet



at　once。　　He！　　See！　　And　at　the　question；　the　curse　of



his　blindness　seemed　to　fall　on　him　with　a　hundredfold



force。







〃What's　the　time？〃　he　cried。







〃Half…past　three；　Tuan。〃







〃We　are　close。　　You　MUST　see。　　Look；　I　say。　　Look。〃







Mr。　Massy；　awakened　by　the　sudden　sound　of　talking



from　a　short　doze　on　the　lowest　step；　wondered　why　he



was　there。　　Ah！　　A　faintness　came　over　him。　　It　is　one



thing　to　sow　the　seed　of　an　accident　and　another　to　see



the　monstrous　fruit　hanging　over　your　head　ready　to



fall　in　the　sound　of　agitated　voices。







〃There's　no　danger；〃　he　muttered　thickly。







The　horror　of　incertitude　had　seized　upon　Captain



Whalley；　the　miserable　mistrust　of　men；　of　thingsof



the　very　earth。　　He　had　steered　that　very　course　thirty…



six　times　by　the　same　compassif　anything　was　certain



in　this　world　it　was　its　absolute；　unerring　correctness。



Then　what　had　happened？　　Did　the　Serang　lie？　　Why



lie？　　Why？　　Was　he　going　blind　too？







〃Is　there　a　mist？　　Look　low　on　the　water。　　Low　down；



I　say。〃







〃Tuan；　there's　no　mist。　　See　for　yourself。〃







Captain　Whalley　steadied　the　trembling　of　his　limbs



by　an　effort。　　Should　he　stop　the　engines　at　once　and



give　himself　away。　　A　gust　of　irresolution　swayed　all



sorts　of　bizarre　notions　in　his　mind。　　The　unusual　had



come；　and　he　was　not　fit　to　deal　with　it。　　In　this　passage