classic mystery and detective stories- 第72部分

hand　wearily　to　my　forehead。　　As　I　did　so；　I　became　conscious　again

of　how　it　hurt　me。　　I　looked　at　it。　　It　was　covered　with　half…dried

blood；　and　two　straight　clean　cuts　appeared；　one　across　the　palm

and　one　across　the　inside　of　the　fingers　just　below　the　knuckles。

I　looked　again　towards　the　bed；　and；　in　the　place　where　my　hand　had

rested　during　my　faint；　a　small　patch　of　red　blood　was　to　be　seen。



Then　it　was　true！　　Then　it　had　all　happened！　　With　a　low　shuddering

sob　I　threw　myself　down　upon　the　couch　at　the　foot　of　the　bed；　and

lay　there　for　some　minutes；　my　limbs　trembling；　and　my　soul

shrinking　within　me。　　A　mist　of　evil；　fearful　and　loathsome；　had

descended　upon　my　girlhood's　life；　sullying　its　ignorant　innocence；

saddening　its　brightness；　as　I　felt；　for　ever。　　I　lay　there　till　my

teeth　began　to　chatter；　and　I　realized　that　I　was　bitterly　cold。

To　return　to　that　accursed　bed　was　impossible；　so　I　pulled　a　rug

which　hung　at　one　end　of　the　sofa　over　me；　and；　utterly　worn　out　in

mind　and　body；　fell　uneasily　asleep。



I　was　roused　by　the　entrance　of　my　maid。　　I　stopped　her

exclamations　and　questions　by　shortly　stating　that　I　had　had　a　bad

night；　had　been　unable　to　rest　in　bed；　and　had　had　an　accident　with

my　hand；without　further　specifying　of　what　description。



〃I　didn't　know　that　you　had　been　feeling　unwell　when　you　went　to

bed　last　night；　miss；〃　she　said。



〃When　I　went　to　bed　last　night？　　Unwell？　　What　do　you　mean？〃



〃Only　Mr。　Alan　has　just　asked　me　to　let　him　know　how　you　find

yourself　this　morning；〃　she　answered。



Then　he　expected　something；　dreaded　something。　　Ah！　why　had　he

yielded　and　allowed　me　to　sleep　here；　I　asked　myself　bitterly；　as

the　incidents　of　the　day　before　flashed　through　my　mind。



〃Tell　him；〃　I　said；　〃what　I　have　told　you；　and　say　that　I　wish　to

speak　to　him　directly　after　breakfast。〃　　I　could　not　confide　my

story　to　any　one　else；　but　speak　of　it　I　must　to　some　one　or　go

mad。



Every　moment　passed　in　that　place　was　an　added　misery。　　Much　to　my

maid's　surprise　I　said　that　I　would　dress　in　her　roomthe　little

one　which；　as　I　have　said；　was　close　to　my　own。　　I　felt　better

there；　but　my　utter　fatigue　and　my　wounded　hand　combined　to　make　my

toilet　slow；　and　I　found　that　most　of　the　party　had　finished

breakfast　when　I　reached　the　dining…room。　　I　was　glad　of　this；　for

even　as　it　was　I　found　it　difficult　enough　to　give　coherent　answers

to　the　questions　which　my　white　face　and　bandaged　hand　called

forth。　　Alan　helped　me　by　giving　a　resolute　turn　to　the

conversation。　　Once　only　our　eyes　met　across　the　table。　　He　looked

as　haggard　and　worn　as　I　did：　I　learned　afterwards　that　he　had

passed　most　of　that　fearful　night　pacing　the　passage　outside　my

door；　though　he　listened　in　vain　for　any　indication　of　what　was

going　on　within　the　room。



The　moment　I　had　finished　breakfast　he　was　by　my　side。　　〃You　wish

to　speak　to　me？　now？〃　he　asked　in　a　low　tone。



〃Yes；　now；〃　I　answered；　breathlessly；　and　without　raising　my　eyes

from　the　ground。



〃Where　shall　we　go？　　Outside？　　It　is　a　bright　day；　and　we　shall　be

freer　there　from　interruption。〃



I　assented；　and　then　looking　up　at　him　appealingly；　〃Will　you　fetch

my　things　for　me？　　I　CANNOT　go　up　to　that　room　again。〃



He　seemed　to　understand　me；　nodded；　and　was　gone。　　A　few　minutes

later　we　left　the　house；　and　made　our　way　in　silence　towards　a

grassy　spot　on　the　side　of　the　ravine　where　we　had　already　indulged

in　more　than　one　friendly　talk。



As　we　went；　the　Dead　Stone　came　for　a　moment　into　view。　　I　seized

Alan's　arm　in　an　almost　convulsive　grip。　　〃Tell　me；〃　I　whispered；

〃you　refused　to　tell　me　yesterday；　but　you　must　now；who　is　buried

beneath　that　rock？〃



There　was　now　neither　timidity　nor　embarrassment　in　my　tone。　　The

horrors　of　that　house　had　become　part　of　my　life　for　ever；　and

their　secrets　were　mine　by　right。　　Alan；　after　a　moment's　pause；　a

questioning　glance　at　my　face；　tacitly　accepted　the　position。



〃I　told　you　the　truth；〃　he　replied；　〃when　I　said　that　I　did　not

know；　but　I　can　tell　you　the　popular　tradition　on　the　subject；　if

you　like。　　They　say　that　Margaret　Mervyn；　the　woman　who　murdered

her　husband；　is　buried　there；　and　that　Dame　Alice　had　the　rock

placed　over　her　grave；whether　to　save　it　from　insult　or　to　mark

it　out　for　opprobrium；　I　never　heard。　　The　poor　people　about　here

do　not　care　to　go　near　the　place　after　dark；　and　among　the　older

ones　there　are　still　some；　I　believe；　who　spit　at　the　suicide's

grave　as　they　pass。〃



〃Poor　woman；　poor　woman！〃　I　exclaimed；　in　a　burst　of　uncontrollable

compassion。



〃Why　should　you　pity　her？〃　demanded　he　with　sudden　sternness；　〃she

WAS　a　suicide　and　a　murderess　too。　　It　would　be　better　for　the

public　conscience；　I　believe；　if　such　were　still　hung　in　chains；　or

buried　at　the　cross…roads　with　a　stake　through　their　bodies。〃



〃Hush；　Alan；　hush！〃　I　cried　hysterically；　as　I　clung　to　him；　〃don't

speak　harshly　of　her：　you　do　not　know；　you　cannot　tell；　how

terribly　she　was　tempted。　　How　can　you？〃



He　looked　down　at　me　in　bewildered　surprise。　　〃How　can　I？〃　he

repeated。　　〃You　speak　as　if　YOU　could。　　What　do　you　mean？〃



〃Don't　ask　me；〃　I　answered；　turning　towards　him　my　face；white；

quivering；　tear…stained。　　〃Don't　ask　me。　　Not　now。　　You　must　answer

my　questions　first；　and　after　that　I　will　tell　you。　　But　I　cannot

talk　of　it　now。　　Not　yet。〃



We　had　reached　the　place　we　were　in　search　of　as　I　spoke。　　There；

where　the　spreading　roots　of　a　great　beech…tree　formed　a　natural

resting　place　upon　the　steep　side　of　the　ravine；　I　took　my　seat；

and　Alan　stretched　himself　upon　the　grass　beside　me。　　Then　looking

up　at　me〃I　do　not　know　what　questions　you　would　ask；〃　he　said；

quietly；　〃but　I　will　answer　them；　whatever　they　may　be。〃



But　I　did　not　ask　them　yet。　　I　sat　instead　with　my　hands　clasping

my　knee；　looking　opposite　at　the　glory　of　harmonious　color；　or　down

the　glen　at　the　vista　of　far…off；　dream…like　loveliness；　on　which

it　opened　out。　　The　yellow　autumn　sunshine　made　everything　golden；

the　fresh　autumn　breezes　filled　the　air　with　life；　but　to　me　a

loathsome　shadow　seemed　to　rest　upon　all；　and　to　stretch　itself　out

far　beyond　where　my　eyes　could　reach；　befouling　the　beauty　of　the

whole　wide　world。　　At　last　I　spoke。　　〃You　have　known　of　it　all；　I

suppose；　of　this　curse　that　is　in　the　world；sin　and　suffering；

and　what　such　words　mean。〃



〃Yes；〃　he　said；　looking　at　me　with　wondering　pity；　〃I　am　afraid

so。〃



〃But　have　you　known　them　as　they　are　known　to　some；agonized；

hopeless　suffering；　and　sin　that　is　all　but　inevitable？　　Some　time

in　your　life　probably　you　have　realized　that　such　things　are：　it

has　come　home　to　you；　and　to　every　one　else；　no　doubt；　except　a　few

ignorant　girls　such　as　I　was　yesterday。　　But　there　are　some；yes；

thousands　and　thousands；who　even　now；　at　this　moment；　are　feeling

sorrow　like　that；　are　sinking　deep；　deeper　into　the　bottomless　pit

of　their　soul's　degradation。　　And　yet　men　who　know　this；　who　have

seen　it；　laugh；　talk；　are　happy；　amuse　themselveshow　can　they；

how　can　they？〃　　I　stopped　with　a　catch　in　my　voice；　and　then

stretching　out　my　arms　in　front　of　me〃And　it　is　not　only　men。

Look　how　beautiful　the　earth　is；　and　God　has　made　it；　and　lets　the

sun　crown　it　every　day　with　a　new　glory；　while　this　horror　of　evil

broods　over　and　poisons　it　all。　　Oh；　why　is　it　so？　　I　cannot

understand　it。〃



My　arms　drooped　again　as　I　finished；　and　my　eyes　sought　Alan's。

His　were　full　of　tears；　but　there　was　almost　a　smile　quivering　at

the　corners　of　his　lips　as　he　replied：　〃When　you　have　found　an

answer　to　that　question；　Evie；　come　and　tell　me　and　mankind　at

large：　it　will　be　news　to　us　all。〃　　Then　he　continued〃But；　after

all；　the　earth　is　beautiful；　and　the　sun　does　shine：　we　have　our

own　happiness　to　rejoice　in；　our　own　sorrows　to　bear；　the　suffering

that　is　near　to　us　to　grapple　with。　　For　the　rest；　for　this

blackness　of　evil　which　surrounds　us；　and　which　we　can　do　nothing

to　lighten；　it　will　soon；　thank　God；　become　vague　and　far　off　to

you　as　it　is　to　others：　your　feeling　of　it　will　be　dulled；　and；

except　at　moments；　you　too　will　forget。〃



〃But　that　is　horrible；〃　I　exclaimed；　passionately；　〃the　evil　will

be　there　all　the　same；　whether　I　feel　it　or　not。　　Men　and　women

will　be　struggling　in　their　misery　and　sin；　only　I　shall　be　too

selfish　to　care。〃



〃We　cannot　go　outside　the　limits　of　our　own　nature；〃　he　replied；

〃our　knowledge　is　shallow　and　our　spiritual　insight　dark；　and　God

in　His　mercy　has　made　our　hearts　shallow　too；　and　our　imagination

dull。　　If；　knowing　and　trusting　only　as　men　do；　we　were　to　feel　as

angels　feel；　earth　would　be　hell　indeed。〃



It　was　cold　comfort；　but　at　that　moment　anything　warmer　or　brighter

would　have　been　unreal　and　utterly　repellent　to　me。　　I　hardly　took

in　the　meaning　of　his　words；　but　it　was　as　if　a　hand　had　been

stretched　out　to　me；　struggling　in　the　deep　mire；　by　one　who

himself　felt　solid　ground　beneath　him。　　Where　he　stood　I　also　might

some　day　stand；　and　that　thought　seemed　to　make　patience　possible。



It　was　he　who　first　broke　the　silence　which　followed。　　〃You　were

saying　that　you　had　questions　to　ask　me。　　I　am　impatient　to　put

mine　in　return；　so　please　go　on。〃



It　had　been　a　relief　to　me　to　turn　even　to　generalizations　of

despair　from　the　actual　horror　which　had　inspired　them；　and　to

which　my　mind　was　thus　recalled。　　With　an　effort　I　replied；　〃Yes；　I

want　to　ask　you　about　that　roomthe　room　in　which　I　slept；　and

and　the　murder　which　was　committed　there。〃　　In　spite　of　all　that　I

could　do；　my　voice　sank　almost　to　a　whisper　as　I　concluded；　and　I

was　trembling　from　head　to　foot。



〃Who　told　you　that　a　murder　was　committed　there？〃　　Something　in　my

face　as　he　asked　the　question　made　him　add　quickly；　〃Never　mind。

You　are　right。　　That　is　the　room　in　which　Hugh　Mervyn　wa