ght with dreary surprise。 “Old people looking back fifty years。 And we’re not old！ It’s just that so much has happened in between。 Everything’s changed so much that it seems like fifty years ago。 But we’re not old！”
But when she looked at Ashley he was no longer young and shining。 His head was bowed as he looked down absently at her hand which he still held and she saw that his once bright hair was very gray； silver gray as moonlight on still water。 Somehow the bright beauty had gone from the April afternoon and from her heart as well and the sad sweetness of remembering was as bitter as gall。
“I shouldn’t have let him make me look back；” she thought despairingly。 “I was right when I said I’d never look back。 It hurts too much； it drags at your heart till you can’t ever do anything else except look back。 That’s what’s wrong with Ashley。 He can’t look forward any more。 He can’t see the present； he fears the future； and so he looks back。 I never understood it before。 I never understood Ashley before。 Oh； Ashley； my darling； you shouldn’t look back！ What good will it do？ I shouldn’t have let you tempt me into talking of the old days。 This is what happens when you look back to happiness； this pain； this heartbreak； this discontent。”
She rose to her feet； her hand still in his。 She must go。 She could not stay and think of the old days and see his face； tired and sad and bleak as it now was。
“We’ve come a long way since those days； Ashley；” she said； trying to steady her voice； trying to fight the constriction in her throat。 “We had fine notions then； didn’t we？” And then； with a rush； “Oh； Ashley； nothing has turned out as we expected！”
“It never does；” he said。 “Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect。 We take what we get and are thankful it’s no worse than it is。”
Her heart was suddenly dull with pain； with weariness； as she thought of the long road she had come since those days。 There rose up in her mind the memory of Scarlett O’Hara who loved beaux and pretty dresses and who intended； some day； when she had the time； to be a great lady like Ellen。
Without warning； tears started in her eyes and rolled slowly down her cheeks and she stood looking at him dumbly； like a hurt bewildered child。 He said no word but took her gently in his arms； pressed her head against his shoulder and； leaning down； laid his cheek against hers。 She relaxed against him and her arms went round his body。 The comfort of his arms helped dry her sudden tears。 Ah； it was good to be in his arms； without passion； without tenseness； to be there as a loved friend。 Only Ashley who shared her memories and her youth； who knew her beginnings and her present could understand。
She heard the sound of feet outside but paid little heed； thinking it was the teamsters going home。 She stood for a moment； listening to the slow beat of Ashley’s heart。 Then suddenly he wrenched himself from her； confusing her by his violence。 She looked up into his face in surprise but he was not looking at her。 He was looking over her shoulder at the door。
She turned and there stood India； white faced； her pale eyes blazing； and Archie； malevolent as a one…eyed parrot。 Behind them stood Mrs。 Elsing。
How she got out of the office she never remembered。 But she went instantly； swiftly； by Ashley’s order； leaving Ashley and Archie in grim converse in the little room and India and Mrs。 Elsing outside with their backs to her。 Shame and fear sped her homeward and； in her mind； Archie with his patriarch’s beard assumed the proportions of an avenging angel straight from the pages of the Old Testament。
The house was empty and still in the April sunset。 All the servants had gone to a funeral and the children were playing in Melanie’s back yard。 Melanie—
Melanie！ Scarlett went cold at the thought of her as she climbed the stairs to her room。 Melanie would hear of this。 India had said she would tell her。 Oh； India would glory in telling her； not caring if she blackened Ashley’s name； not caring if she hurt Melanie； if by so doing she could injure Scarlett！ And Mrs。 Elsing would talk too； even though she had really seen nothing； because she was behind India and Archie in the door of the lumber office。 But she would talk； just the same。 The news would be all over town by supper time。 Everyone； even the negroes； would know by tomorrow’s breakfast。 At the party tonight； women would gather in corners and whisper discreetly and with malicious pleasure。 Scarlett Butler rumbled from her high and mighty place！ And the story would grow and grow。 There was no way of stopping it。 It wouldn’t stop at the bare facts； that Ashley was holding her in his arms while she cried。 Before nightfall people would be saying she had been taken in adultery。 And it had been so innocent； so sweet！ Scarlett thought wildly： If we had been caught that Christmas of his furlough when I kissed him good…by—if we had been caught in the orchard at Tara when I begged him to run away with me—oh； if we’d been caught any of the times when we were really guilty； it wouldn’t be so bad！ But now！ Now！ When I went to his arms as a friend—
But no one would believe that。 She wouldn’t have a single friend to take her part； not a single voice would be raised to say： “I don’t believe she was doing anything wrong。” She had outraged old friends too long to find a champion among them now。 Her new friends； suffering in silence under her insolences； would welcome a chance to blackguard her。 No； everybody would believe anything about her； though they might regret that so fine a man as Ashley Wilkes was mixed up in so dirty an affair。 As usual they would cast the blame upon the woman and shrug at the man’s guilt。 And in this case they would be right。 She had gone into his arms。
Oh； she could stand the cuts； the slights； the covert smiles； anything the town might say； if she had to stand them—but not Melanie！ Oh； not Melanie！ She did not know why she should mind Melanie knowing； more than anyone else。 She was too frightened and weighed down by a sense of past guilt to try to understand it。 But she burst into tears at the thought of what would be in Melanie’s eyes when India told her that she had caught Ashley fondling Scarlett。 And what would Melanie do when she knew？ Leave Ashley？ What else could she do； with any dignity？ And what will Ashley and I do then？ she thought frenziedly； the tears streaming down her face。 Oh； Ashley will die of shame and hate me for bringing this on him。 Suddenly her tears stopped short as a deadly fear went through her heart。 What of Rhett？ What would he do？
Perhaps he’d never know。 What was that old saying； that cynical saying？ “The husband is always the last to find out。” Perhaps no one would tell him。 It would take a brave man to break such news to Rhett； for Rhett had the reputation for shooting first and asking questions afterwards。 Please； God； don’t let anybody be brave enough to tell him！ But she remembered the face of Archie in the lumber office； the cold； pale eye； remorseless； full of hate for her and all women。 Archie feared neither God nor man and he hated loose women。 He had hated them enough to kill one。 And he had said he would tell Rhett。 And he’d tell him in spite of all Ashley could do to dissuade him。 Unless Ashley killed him； Archie would tell Rhett； feeling it his Christian duty。
She pulled off her clothes and lay down on the bed； her mind whirling round and round。 If she could only lock her door and stay in this safe place forever and ever and never see anyone again。 Perhaps Rhett wouldn’t find out tonight。 She’d say she had a headache and didn’t feel like going to the reception。 By morning she would have thought up some excuse to offer； some defense that might hold water。
“I won’t think of it now；” she said desperately； burying her face in the pillow。 “I won’t think of it now。 I’ll think of it later when I can stand it。”
She heard the servants come back as night fell and it seemed to her that they were very silent as they moved about preparing supper。 Or was it her guilty conscience？ Mammy came to the door and knocked but Scarlett sent her away； saying she did not want any supper。 Time passed and finally she heard Rhett coming up the steps。 She held herself tensely as he reached the upper hall； gathered all her strength for a meeting but he passed into his room。 She breathed easier。 He hadn’t heard。 Thank God； he still respected her icy request that he never put foot in her bedroom again； for if he saw her now； her face would give her away。 She must gather herself together enough to tell him that she felt too ill to go to the reception。 Well； there was time enough for her to calm herself。 Or was there time？ Since the awful moment that afternoon； life had seemed timeless。 She heard Rhett moving about in his room for a long time； speaking occasionally to Pork。 Still she could not find courage to call to him。 She lay still on the bed in the darkness； shaking。
After a long time； he knocked on her door and she said； trying to control her voice： “Come in。”
“Am I actually being invited into the sanctuary？” he questioned； opening the door。 It was dark and she could not see his face。 Nor could she make anything of his voice。 He entered and closed the door。
“Are you ready for the reception？”
“I’m so sorry but I have a headache。” How odd that her voice sounded natural！ Thank God for the dark！ “I don’t believe I’ll go。 You go； Rhett； and give Melanie my regrets。”
There was a long pause and he spoke drawlingly； bitingly in the dark。
“What a white livered； cowardly little bitch you are。”
He knew！ She lay shaking； unable to speak。 She heard him fumble in the dark； strike a match and the room sprang into light。 He walked over to the bed and looked down at her。 She saw that he was in evening clothes。
“Get up；” he said and there was nothing in his voice。 “We are going to the reception。 You will have to hurry。”
“Oh； Rhett； I can’t。 You see—”
“I can see。 Get up。”
“Rhett； did Archie dare—”
“Archie dared。 A very brave man； Archie。”
“You should have killed him for telling lies—”
“I have a strange way of not killing people who tell the tru