the black robe- 第65部分

strong　enough　to　write　this　letter。　But　I　can　head　a　subscription



to　pay　expenses；　and　I　can　give　instructions　to　any　person　who　is



willing　to　attempt　the　deliverance　of　the　priests。〃







So　the　letter　ended。







Before　I　had　read　it；　I　was　at　a　loss　to　know　where　to　go；　or



what　to　do；　when　I　leave　St。　Germain。　I　am　now　at　no　loss。　I　have



found　an　object　in　life；　and　a　means　of　making　atonement　to



Stella　for　my　own　ungracious　and　unworthy　words。　Already　I　have



communicated　by　telegraph　with　Mr。　Murthwaite　and　with　my



sailing…master。　The　first　is　informed　that　I　hope　to　be　with　him；



in　London；　to…morrow　morning。　The　second　is　instructed　to　have



the　yacht　fitted　out　immediately　for　a　long　voyage。　If　I　can　save



these　menespecially　PenroseI　shall　not　have　lived　in　vain。







London；　September　15。No。　I　have　resolution　enough　to　go　to



Arizona；　but　I　have　no　courage　to　record　the　parting　scene　when



it　was　time　to　say　good…by。







I　had　intended　to　keep　the　coming　enterprise　a　secret；　and　only



to　make　the　disclosure　in　writing　when　the　vessel　was　ready　to



sail。　But；　after　reading　the　letter　to　the　_Times；_　Stella　saw



something　in　my　face　（as　I　suppose）　that　betrayed　me。　Well；　it's



over　now。　I　do　my　best　to　keep　myself　from　thinking　of　itand；



for　this　reason；　I　abstain　from　dwelling　on　the　subject　here。







Mr。　Murthwaite　has　not　only　given　me　valuable　instructionshe



has　provided　me　with　letters　of　introduction　to　persons　in



office；　and　to　the　_padres_　（or　priests）　in　Mexico；　which　will　be



of　incalculable　use　in　such　an　expedition　as　mine。　In　the　present



disturbed　condition　of　the　United　States；　he　recommends　me　to



sail　for　a　port　on　the　eastern　coast　of　Mexico；　and　then　to



travel　northward　overland；　and　make　my　first　inquiries　in　Arizona



at　the　town　of　Tubac。　Time　is　of　such　importance；　in　his　opinion；



that　he　suggests　making　inquiries　in　London　and　Liverpool　for　a



merchant　vessel　under　immediate　sailing　orders　for　Vera　Cruz　or



Tampico。　The　fitting　out　of　the　yacht　cannot　be　accomplished；　I



find；　in　less　than　a　fortnight　or　three　weeks。　I　have　therefore



taken　Mr。　Murthwaite's　advice。







September　16。No　favorable　answer；　so　far　as　the　port　of　London



is　concerned。　Very　little　commerce　with　Mexico；　and　bad　harbors



in　that　country　when　you　do　trade。　Such　is　the　report。







September　17。A　Mexican　brig　has　been　discovered　at　Liverpool；



under　orders　for　Vera　Cruz。　But　the　vessel　is　in　debt；　and　the



date　of　departure　depends　on　expected　remittances！　In　this　state



of　things　I　may　wait；　with　my　conscience　at　ease；　to　sail　in



comfort　on　board　my　own　schooner。







September　18…30。I　have　settled　my　affairs；　I　have　taken　leave



of　my　friends　（good。　Mr。　Murthwaite　included）；　I　have　written



cheerfully　to　Stella；　and　I　sail　from　Portsmouth　to…morrow；　well



provided　with　the　jars　of　whisky　and　the　kegs　of　gunpowder　which



will　effect　the　release　of　the　captives。







It　is　strange；　considering　the　serious　matters　I　have　to　think



of；　but　it　is　also　true；　that　I　feel　out　of　spirits　at　the



prospect　of　leaving　England　without　my　traveling　companion；　the



dog。　I　am　afraid　to　take　the　dear　old　fellow　with　me；　on　such　a



perilous　expedition　as　mine　may　be。　Stella　takes　care　of



himand；　if　I　don't　live　to　return；　she　will　never　part　with



him；　for　his　master's　sake。　It　implies　a　childish　sort　of　mind；　I



supposebut　it　is　a　comfort　to　me　to　remember　that　I　have　never



said　a　hard　word　to　Traveler；　and　never　lifted　my　hand　on　him　in



anger。







All　this　about　a　dog！　And　not　a　word　about　Stella？　Not　a　word。



_Those_　thoughts　are　not　to　be　written。







I　have　reached　the　last　page　of　my　diary。　I　shall　lock　it；　and



leave　it　in　charge　of　my　bankers；　on　my　way　to　the　Portsmouth



train。　Shall　I　ever　w　ant　a　new　diary？　Superstitious　people　might



associate　this　coming　to　the　end　of　the　book　with　coming　to　an



end　of　another　kind。　I　have　no　imagination；　and　I　take　my　leap　in



the　dark　hopefullywith　Byron's　glorious　lines　in　my　mind：











　　　　　　　　　　〃Here's　a　sigh　to　those　who　love　me；



　　　　　　　　　　　　　And　a　smile　to　those　that　bate；



　　　　　　　　　　　And　whatever　sky's　above　met



　　　　　　　　　　　　　Here's　heart　for　every　fated











　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　







（An　inclosure　is　inserted　here；　marking　a　lapse　of　seven　months；



before　the　entries　in　the　diary　are　resumed。　It　consists　of　two



telegrams；　dispatched　respectively　on　the　1st　and　2d　of　May；



1864。）







1。　〃From　Bernard　Winterfield；　Portsmouth；　England。　To　Mrs。



Romayne　care　of　M。　Villeray；　St。　Germain；　near　Paris。　Penrose



is　safe　on　board　my　yacht。　His　unfortunate　companion　has　died　of



exhaustion；　and　he　is　himself　in　a　feeble　state　of　health。　I　at



once　take　him　with　me　to　London　for　medical　advice。　We　are　eager



for　news　of　you。　Telegraph　to　Derwent's　Hotel。〃







2。　〃From　Mrs。　Eyrecourt；　St。　Germain。　To　Bernard　Winterfield；



Derwent's　Hotel；　London。　Your　telegram　received　with　joy；　and



sent　on　to　Stella　in　Paris。　All　well。　But　strange　events　have



happened。　If　you　cannot　come　here　at　once；　go　to　Lord　Loring。　He



will　tell　you　everything。〃







Tenth　Extract。







London；　2d　May；　1864。Mrs。　Eyrecourt's　telegram　reached　me　just



after　Doctor　Wybrow　had　paid　his　first　professional　visit　to



Penrose；　at　the　hotel。　I　had　hardly　time　to　feel　relieved　by　the



opinion　of　the　case　which　he　expressed；　before　my　mind　was　upset



by　Mrs。　Eyrecourt。　Leaving　Penrose　under　the　charge　of　our



excellent　landlady；　I　hurried　away　to　Lord　Loring。







It　was　still　early　in　the　day：　his　lordship　was　at　home。　He



maddened　me　with　impatience　by　apologizing　at　full　length　for



〃the　inexcusable　manner　in　which　he　had　misinterpreted　my　conduct



on　the　deplorable　occasion　of　the　marriage　ceremony　at　Brussels。〃



I　stopped　his　flow　of　words　（very　earnestly　spoken；　it　is　only



right　to　add）；　and　entreated　him　to　tell　me；　in　the　first　place；



what　Stella　was　doing　in　Paris。







〃Stella　is　with　her　husband；〃　Lord　Loring　replied。







My　head　turned　giddy；　my　heart　beat　furiously。　Lord　Loring　looked



at　meran　to　the　luncheon　table　in　the　next　roomand　returned



with　a　glass　of　wine。　I　really　don't　know　whether　I　drank　the



wine　or　not。　I　know　I　stammered　out　another　inquiry　in　one　word。







〃Reconciled？〃　I　said。







〃Yes；　Mr。　Winterfieldreconciled；　before　he　dies。〃







We　were　both　silent　for　a　while。







What　was　he　thinking　of？　I　don't　know。　What　was　I　thinking　of？　I



daren't　write　it　down。







Lord　Loring　resumed　by　expressing　some　anxiety　on　the　subject　of



my　health。　I　made　the　best　excuse　for　myself　that　I　could；　and



told　him　of　the　rescue　of　Penrose。　He　had　heard　of　my　object　in



leaving　England；　and　heartily　congratulated　me。　〃This　will　be



welcome　news　indeed；〃　he　said；　〃to　Father　Benwell。〃







Even　the　name　of　Father　Benwell　now　excites　my　distrust。　〃Is　_he_



in　Paris　too？〃　I　inquired。







〃He　left　Paris　last　night；〃　Lord　Loring　answered；　〃and　he　is　now



in　London；　on　important　business　（as　I　understand）　connected　with



Romayne's　affairs。〃







I　instantly　thought　of　the　boy。







〃Is　Romayne　in　possession　of　his　faculties？〃　I　asked。







〃In　complete　possession。〃







〃While　justice　is　in　his　power；　has　he　done　justice　to　his　son？〃







Lord　Loring　looked　a　little　confused。　〃I　have　not　heard；〃　was　all



he　said　in　reply。







I　was　far　from　satisfied。　〃You　are　one　of　Romayne's　oldest



friends；〃　I　persisted。　〃Have　you　not　seen　him　yourself？〃







〃I　have　seen　him　more　than　once。　But　he　has　never　referred　to　his



affairs。〃　Having　said　this　he　hastily　changed　the　subject。　〃Is



there　any　other　information　that　I　can　give　you？〃　he　suggested。







I　had　still　to　learn　under　what　circumstances　Romayne　had　left



Italy　for　France；　and　how　the　event　of　his　illness　in　Paris　had



been　communicated　to　his　wife。　Lord　Loring　had　only　to　draw　on



his　own　recollections　to　enlighten　me。







〃Lady　Loring　and　I　passed　the　last　winter　in　Rome；〃　he　said。



〃And；　there；　we　saw　Romayne。　You　look　surprised。　Perhaps　you　are



aware　that　we　had　offended　him；　by　advice　which　we　thought　it　our



duty　to　offer　to　Stella　before　her　marriage？〃







I　was　certainly　thinking　of　what　Stella　had　said　of　the　Lorings



on　the　memorable　day　when　she　visited　me　at　the　hotel。







〃Romayne　would　probably　have　refused　to　receive　us；〃　Lord　Loring



resumed；　〃but　for　the　gratifying　circumstance　of　my　having　been



admitted　to　an　interview　with　the　Pope。　The　Holy　Father　spoke　of



him　with　the　most　condescending　kindness；　and；　hearing　that　I　had



not　yet　seen　him；　gave　instructions；　commanding　Romayne　to



present　himself。　Under　these　circumstances　it　was　impossible　for



him　to　refuse　to　receive　Lady　Loring　and　myself　on　a　later



occasion。　I　cannot　tell　you　how　distressed　we　were　at　the　sad



change　for　the　worse　in　his　personal　appearance。　The　Italian



physician；　whom　he　occasionally　consulted；　told　me　that　there　was



a　weakness　in　the　action　of　his　heart；　produced；　in　the　first



instance；　by　excessive　study　and　the　excitement　of　preaching；　and



aggravated　by　the　further　drain　on　his　strength　due　to



insufficient　nourishment。　He　would　eat　and　drink　just　enough　to



keep　him　alive；　and　no　more；　and　he　persistently　refused　to　try



the　good　influe