town tonight in his carriage,and let him sleep in his own house,and deliver him tomorrow to Miss Havisham's.And just look!’she cried,catching hold of me.‘Look at the dirt on this by!’
I was washed from top to toe in Mrs Joe's usual violent manner,and handed over,in my tightest Sunday clothes,to Mr Pumblechook.In the carriage taking me into town,I cried a little.I had never been away from Joe before,and I had no idea what was going to happen to me at Miss Havisham's.
Mr Pumblechook seemed to agree with my sister that I should be punished as much as possible,even when eating,and so for breakfast next morning he gave me a large piece of bread with very little butter,and a cup of warm water with very little milk,and insisted on checking my learning.
‘What's seven and thirteen,boy?’He continued testing me all through breakfast.‘And nine?And eleven?’
So I was glad to arrive at Miss Havisham's house at about ten o’clock.It was a large house,made of old stone,and with iron bars on the windows.We rang the bell,and waited at the gate.Even then Mr Pumblechook said,‘And fourteen?’but I pretended not to hear him.Then a young lady came to open the gate,and let me in.Mr Pumblechook was following me when she stopped him.
‘Do you wish to see Miss Havisham?’she asked.
‘If Miss Havisham wishes to see me,’answered Mr Pumblechook,a little confused.
‘Ah!’said the girl,‘but you see,she doesn't.’
Mr Pumblechook dared not protest but he whispered angrily to me before he turned away,‘Boy!Behave well here and re…member those who brought you up by hand!’I thought he would come back and call through the gate,‘And sixteen?’but he did not.
The young lady took me through the untidy garden to the house.Although she called me ‘boy,’she was the same age as me,but she seemed much older than me.She was beautiful,and as proud as a queen.We went through many dark passages until we reached a door,where she left me,taking her candle with her.
I knocked at the door and was told to enter.I found myself in a large room,where the curtains were closed to allow no daylight in,and the candles were lit.In the centre of the room,sitting at a table,was the strangest lady I have ever seen,or shall ever see.She was wearing a wedding dress made of rich material.She had a bride's flowers in her hair,but her hair was white.There were suitcases full of dresses and Jewels around her,ready for a journey.She only had one white shoe on.‘Then I realized that over the years the white wedding dress had become yellow,and the flowers in her hair had died,and the bride inside the dress had grown old.Everything in the room was ancient and dying.The only brightness in the room was in her dark old eyes,that stared at me.
‘Who are you?’said the lady at the table.
‘Pip,madam.Mr Pumblechook's boy.Come…to play.’
‘Come close.Let me look at you.’As I stood in front of *her,I noticed that her watch and a clock in the room had both stopped at twenty minutes to nine.
‘You aren't afraid of a woman who has never seen the sun since you were born?’asked Miss Havisham.
I am sorry to say I told a huge lie by saying,‘No.’
‘Do you know what ths is?’she asked,putting her hand on her left side.
‘Yes,madam.’It made me think of my convict's travel…ling companion.‘Your heart,madam,’I added.
‘My heart!Broken!’she cried almost proudly,with a strange smile.Then she said,‘I am tired.I want to see some…thing different.Play.’
No order could be more difficult to obey in that house and that room.I was desperate enough to consider rushing round the table pretending to be Pumblechook's carriage,but I could not make myself do it,and just stood there helplessly.
‘I'm very sorry,madam,’I said,‘my sister will be very angry with me if you complain,but I can't play just now.Everything is so strange,and new,and sad…’I stopped,afraid to say more.Miss Havisham looked down at her dress,and then at her face in the mirror on the table.
‘So strange to him,so well…known to me,’she whispered.
‘So new to him,so old to me.And so sad to us both!Call Es…tella!’
When Estella finally came,with her candle,along the dark passage,Miss Havisham picked up a jewel from her table and put it in Estella's hair.‘Very pretty,my dear.It will be yours one day.Now let me see you play cards with this boy.’
‘With this boy!But he's a common working boy!’
I thought I heard Miss Havisham whisper,‘Well!You can break his heart!’She sat,like a dead body ready for the grave,watching us play cards in the candle…light.I almost wondered if she was afraid that daylight would turn her into dust.
‘What coarse hands this boy has!And what thick boots!’cried Estella in disgust,before we had finished our first game.I was suddenly aware that what she said was true.
‘What do you think of her?’ Whispered Miss Havisham to me.
‘I think she's very proud,’I whispered back.
‘Anything else?’
‘I think she's very pretty.’
‘Anything else?’
‘I think she's very rude.And…and I'd like to go home.’
‘And never see her again,although she's so pretty?’
‘I don't know.I'd…I'd like to go home now.’
Miss Havisham smiled.‘You can go home.Come again in six days'time.Estella,give him some food.GO,Pip.’
And so I found myself back in the overgrown garden in the bright daylight.Estella put some bread and meat down on the ground for me,like a dog.I was so offended by her behaviour towards me that tears came to my eyes.As soon as she saw this,She gave a delighted laugh,and pushed me out of the gate.I walked the four miles home to the forge,thinking about all I had seen.As I looked sadly at my hands and boots,I remembered that I was only a common working boy,and wished I could be different.
My sister was curious to know all the details of my visit,and kept asking me question after question.Somehow I felt I could not,or did not want to,explain about Miss Havisham and her strange house.I knew my sister would not understand.And the worst of it was,that old fool Pumblechook arrived at tea…time,to ask more questions.Just looking at his fishy staring eyes and open mouth made me want to keep silent.
‘Leave this boy to me,madam,’he told Mrs Joe.‘I'll make him concentrate.Now,boy,what's forty…three and seventy…two?’
‘I don't know,’I said.I didn't care,either.
‘Is it eighty…five,for example?’he joked.
‘Yes!’I answered,although I knew it wasn't.My sister hit me hard on the head.
‘Boy!’he continued.‘Describe Miss Havisham.’
‘Very tall and dark,’I said,lying.
‘Is she,uncle?’asked my sister eagerly.
‘Oh yes,’answered Mr Pumblechook.So I knew immediately that he had never seen her.‘This is the way to get information from this boy,’he added quietly to Mrs Joe.
‘How well you make him obey you,uncle!’said Mrs Joe.
‘ Now,boy!What was she doing when you arrived?’
‘She was sitting in a black carriage,’I replied.
Mr Pumblechook and Mrs Joe stared at each other.‘In a black carriage?’they repeated.
‘Yes,’I said,becoming more confident.‘And Miss Estella,her niece,I think,handed in gold plates with cake and wine through the windows.
‘Was anybody else there?’asked Mr Pumblechook.
‘Four dogs,huge ones.They ate meat out of a silver basket.’
‘Where was this carriage,boy?’
‘In her room.But there weren't any horses.’
‘Can this be possible,uncle?’asked Mrs Joe.
‘She's a strange woman,madam.It's quite possible.What did you play at,boy?’
We played with flags,’I answered.What lies I was telling!‘Estella waved a blue one,and I had a red one,and Miss Havisham waved one with little gold stars on,out of the carriage window.’
Fortunately they asked no more questions,and were still discussing the wonderful things I had seen,when Joe came in from the forge.When I saw his blue eyes open wide in surprise,I felt very sorry I had lied,and that evening,as soon as I found Joe alone for a moment,I confessed to him that I had lied about my visit to Miss Havisham.
‘Is none of it true,Pip?’he asked,shocked.‘No black carriage ? But at least there were dogs, weren't there,Pip?No?Not even one dog?’
‘No,Joe,I'm sorry.’
‘Pip,old boy!’His kind face looked very unhappy.‘If you tell lies,where do you think you'll go when you die?’
‘I know,Joe,it's terrible.I don't know what happened.Oh I wish I didn't have such thick boots and such coarse hands!I'm so miserable,Joe.That beautiful young lady at Miss Havisham's said I was common.And I know I am!Somehow that made me tell lies.’ ‘One thing to remember,Pip,’ said Joe,lighting his pipe slowly,‘is that lies are always wrong.You can't stop being common by telling lies.That's not the way to do it.And you're learning all the time,Pip!Look at that letter you wrote me last night!Even the King had to start learning at the beginning; didn't he?That reminds me,any flags at Miss Havisham's?No?That's a pity.Look here,Pip,this is a true friend speaking to you.Take my advice.No more lies,live well; and die happy。’
Encouraged by Joe's honest words I went to bed,but I couldn't stop myself thinking that Estella would consider Joe's boots too thick and his hands too coarse,and our whole family common.That was a day I shall never forget.
4 A present from a stranger
I desperately wanted to be accepted by Estella.I realized I could never become well…educated just by attending old Mrs Wopsle's evening school,so I asked Mr Wopsle's cousin Biddy to teach me everything she knew.She helped me as much as she could,but I knew it would take a long time to reach Estella's level.
One evening I went to fetch Joe from the village pub; where my sister sometimes allowed him to smoke his pipe and have a beer.Mr Wopsle and Joe were sitting with a stranger,a man I'd never seen before.One of his eyes was half closed;and he wore a big hat which covered most of his head.He suddenly looked