fantastic fables- 第1部分

Fantastic　Fables







by　Ambrose　Bierce

















Contents：







The　Moral　Principle　and　the　Material　Interest



The　Crimson　Candle



The　Blotted　Escutcheon　and　the　Soiled　Ermine



The　Ingenious　Patriot



Two　Kings



An　Officer　and　a　Thug



The　Conscientious　Official



How　Leisure　Came



The　Moral　Sentiment



The　Politicians



The　Thoughtful　Warden



The　Treasury　and　the　Arms



The　Christian　Serpent



The　Broom　of　the　Temple



The　Critics



The　Foolish　Woman



Father　and　Son



The　Discontented　Malefactor



A　Call　to　Quit



The　Man　and　the　Lightning



The　Lassoed　Bear



The　Ineffective　Rooter



A　Protagonist　of　Silver



The　Holy　Deacon



A　Hasty　Settlement



The　Wooden　Guns



The　Reform　School　Board



The　Poet's　Doom



The　Noser　and　the　Note



The　Cat　and　the　King



The　Literary　Astronomer



The　Lion　and　the　Rattlesnake



The　Man　with　No　Enemies



The　Alderman　and　the　Raccoon



The　Flying…Machine



The　Angel's　Tear



The　City　of　Political　Distinction



The　Party　Over　There



The　Poetess　of　Reform



The　Unchanged　Diplomatist



An　Invitation



The　Ashes　of　Madame　Blavatsky



The　Opossum　of　the　Future



The　Life…Savers



The　Australian　Grasshopper



The　Pavior



The　Tried　Assassin



The　Bumbo　of　Jiam



The　Two　Poets



The　Thistles　upon　the　Grave



The　Shadow　of　the　Leader



The　Sagacious　Rat



The　Member　and　the　Soap



Alarm　and　Pride



A　Causeway



Two　in　Trouble



The　Witch's　Steed



The　All　Dog



The　Farmer's　Friend



Physicians　Two



The　Overlooked　Factor



A　Racial　Parallel



The　Honest　Cadi



The　Kangaroo　and　the　Zebra



A　Matter　of　Method



The　Man　of　Principle



The　Returned　Californian



The　Compassionate　Physician



Two　of　the　Damned



The　Austere　Governor



Religions　of　Error



The　Penitent　Elector



The　Tail　of　the　Sphinx



A　Prophet　of　Evil



The　Crew　of　the　Life…boat



A　Treaty　of　Peace



The　Nightside　of　Character



The　Faithful　Cashier



The　Circular　Clew



The　Devoted　Widow



The　Hardy　Patriots



The　Humble　Peasant



The　Various　Delegation



The　No　Case



A　Harmless　Visitor



The　Judge　and　the　Rash　Act



The　Prerogative　of　Might



An　Inflated　Ambition



Rejected　Services



The　Power　of　the　Scalawag



At　Large　…　One　Temper



The　Seeker　and　the　Sought



His　Fly…Speck　Majesty



The　Pugilist's　Diet



The　Old　Man　and　the　Pupil



The　Deceased　and　his　Heirs



The　Politicians　and　the　Plunder



The　Man　and　the　Wart



The　Divided　Delegation



A　Forfeited　Right



Revenge



An　Optimist



A　Valuable　Suggestion



Two　Footpads



Equipped　for　Service



The　Basking　Cyclone



At　the　Pole



The　Optimist　and　the　Cynic



The　Poet　and　the　Editor



The　Taken　Hand



An　Unspeakable　Imbecile



A　Needful　War



The　Mine　Owner　and　the　Jackass



The　Dog　and　the　Physician



The　Party　Manager　and　the　Gentleman。



The　Legislator　and　the　Citizen



The　Rainmaker



The　Citizen　and　the　Snakes



Fortune　and　the　Fabulist



A　Smiling　Idol



Philosophers　Three



The　Boneless　King



Uncalculating　Zeal



A　Transposition



The　Honest　Citizen



A　Creaking　Tail



Wasted　Sweets



Six　and　One



The　Sportsman　and　the　Squirrel



The　Fogy　and　the　Sheik



At　Heaven's　Gate



The　Catted　Anarchist



The　Honourable　Member



The　Expatriated　Boss



An　Inadequate　Fee



The　Judge　and　the　Plaintiff



The　Return　of　the　Representative



A　Statesman



Two　Dogs



Three　Recruits



The　Mirror



Saint　and　Sinner



An　Antidote



A　Weary　Echo



The　Ingenious　Blackmailer



A　Talisman



The　Ancient　Order



A　Fatal　Disorder



The　Massacre



A　Ship　and　a　Man



Congress　and　the　People



The　Justice　and　His　Accuser



The　Highwayman　and　the　Traveller



The　Policeman　and　the　Citizen



The　Writer　and　the　Tramps



Two　Politicians



The　Fugitive　Office



The　Tyrant　Frog



The　Eligible　Son…in…Law



The　Statesman　and　the　Horse



An　AErophobe



The　Thrift　of　Strength



The　Good　Government



The　Life…Saver



The　Man　and　the　Bird



From　the　Minutes



Three　of　a　Kind



The　Fabulist　and　the　Animals



A　Revivalist　Revived



The　Debaters



Two　of　the　Pious



The　Desperate　Object



The　Appropriate　Memorial



A　Needless　Labour



A　Flourishing　Industry



The　Self…Made　Monkey



The　Patriot　and　the　Banker



The　Mourning　Brothers



The　Disinterested　Arbiter



The　Thief　and　the　Honest　Man



The　Dutiful　Son











Aesopus　Emendatus











The　Cat　and　the　Youth



The　Farmer　and　His　Sons



Jupiter　and　the　Baby　Show



The　Man　and　the　Dog



The　Cat　and　the　Birds



Mercury　and　the　Woodchopper



The　Fox　and　the　Grapes



The　Penitent　Thief



The　Archer　and　the　Eagle



Truth　and　the　Traveller



The　Wolf　and　the　Lamb



The　Lion　and　the　Boar



The　Grasshopper　and　the　Ant



The　Fisher　and　the　Fished



The　Farmer　and　the　Fox



Dame　Fortune　and　the　Traveller



The　Victor　and　the　Victim



The　Wolf　and　the　Shepherds



The　Goose　and　the　Swan



The　Lion；　the　Cock；　and　the　Ass



The　Snake　and　the　Swallow



The　Wolves　and　the　Dogs



The　Hen　and　the　Vipers



A　Seasonable　Joke



The　Lion　and　the　Thorn



The　Fawn　and　the　Buck



The　Kite；　the　Pigeons；　and　the　Hawk



The　Wolf　and　the　Babe



The　Wolf　and　the　Ostrich



The　Herdsman　and　the　Lion



The　Man　and　the　Viper



The　Man　and　the　Eagle



The　War…horse　and　the　Miller



The　Dog　and　the　Reflection



The　Man　and　the　Fish…horn



The　Hare　and　the　Tortoise



Hercules　and　the　Carter



The　Lion　and　the　Bull



The　Man　and　his　Goose



The　Wolf　and　the　Feeding　Goat



Jupiter　and　the　Birds



The　Lion　and　the　Mouse



The　Old　Man　and　his　Sons



The　Crab　and　his　Son



The　North　Wind　and　the　Sun



The　Mountain　and　the　Mouse



The　Bellamy　and　the　Members











Old　Saws　with　New　Teeth











The　Wolf　and　the　Crane



The　Lion　and　the　Mouse



The　Hares　and　the　Frogs



The　Belly　and　the　Members



The　Piping　Fisherman



The　Ants　and　the　Grasshopper



The　Dog　and　His　Reflection



The　Lion；　the　Bear；　and　the　Fox



The　Ass　and　the　Lion's　Skin



The　Ass　and　the　Grasshoppers



The　Wolf　and　the　Lion



The　Hare　and　the　Tortoise



The　Milkmaid　and　Her　Bucket



King　Log　and　King　Stork



The　Wolf　Who　Would　Be　a　Lion



The　Monkey　and　the　Nuts



The　Boys　and　the　Frogs















The　Moral　Principle　and　the　Material　Interest















A　MORAL　Principle　met　a　Material　Interest　on　a　bridge　wide　enough　



for　but　one。







〃Down；　you　base　thing！〃　thundered　the　Moral　Principle；　〃and　let　me　



pass　over　you！〃







The　Material　Interest　merely　looked　in　the　other's　eyes　without　



saying　anything。







〃Ah；〃　said　the　Moral　Principle；　hesitatingly；　〃let　us　draw　lots　to　



see　which　shall　retire　till　the　other　has　crossed。〃







The　Material　Interest　maintained　an　unbroken　silence　and　an　



unwavering　stare。







〃In　order　to　avoid　a　conflict；〃　the　Moral　Principle　resumed；　



somewhat　uneasily；　〃I　shall　myself　lie　down　and　let　you　walk　over　



me。〃







Then　the　Material　Interest　found　a　tongue；　and　by　a　strange　



coincidence　it　was　its　own　tongue。　　〃I　don't　think　you　are　very　



good　walking；〃　it　said。　　〃I　am　a　little　particular　about　what　I　



have　underfoot。　　Suppose　you　get　off　into　the　water。〃







It　occurred　that　way。















The　Crimson　Candle















A　MAN　lying　at　the　point　of　death　called　his　wife　to　his　bedside　



and　said：







〃I　am　about　to　leave　you　forever；　give　me；　therefore；　one　last　



proof　of　your　affection　and　fidelity；　for；　according　to　our　holy　



religion；　a　married　man　seeking　admittance　at　the　gate　of　Heaven　is　



required　to　swear　that　he　has　never　defiled　himself　with　an　



unworthy　woman。　　In　my　desk　you　will　find　a　crimson　candle；　which　



has　been　blessed　by　the　High　Priest　and　has　a　peculiar　mystical　



significance。　　Swear　to　me　that　while　it　is　in　existence　you　will　



not　remarry。〃







The　Woman　swore　and　the　Man　died。　　At　the　funeral　the　Woman　stood　



at　the　head　of　the　bier；　holding　a　lighted　crimson　candle　till　it　



was　wasted　entirely　away。















The　Blotted　Escutcheon　and　the　Soiled　Ermine















A　BLOTTED　Escutcheon；　rising　to　a　question　of　privilege；　said：







〃Mr。　Speaker；　I　wish　to　hurl　back　an　allegation　and　explain　that　



the　spots　upon　me　are　the　natural　markings　of　one　who　is　a　direct　



descendant　of　the　sun　and　a　spotted　fawn。　　They　come　of　no　accident　



of　character；　but　inhere　in　the　divine　order　and　constitution　of　



things。〃







When　the　Blotted　Escutcheon　had　resumed　his　seat　a　Soiled　Ermine　



rose　and　said：







〃Mr。　Speaker；　I　have　heard　with　profound　attention　and　entire　



approval　the　explanation　of　the　honourable　member；　and　wish　to　



offer　a　few　remarks　on　my　own　behalf。　　I；　too；　have　been　foully　



calumniated　by　our　ancient　enemy；　the　Infamous　Falsehood；　and　I　



wish　to　point　out　that　I　am　made　of　the　fur　of　the　MUSTELA　



MACULATA；　which　is　dirty　from　birth。〃















The　Ingenious　Patriot















HAVING　obtained　an　audience　of　the　King　an　Ingenious　Patriot　pulled　



a　paper　from　his　pocket；　saying：







〃May　it　please　your　Majesty；　I　have　here　a　formula　for　constructing　



armour…plating　which　no　gun　can　pierce。　　If　these　plates　are　



adopted　in　the　Royal　Navy　our　warships　will　be　invulnerable；　and　



therefore　invincible。　　Here；　also；　are　reports　of　your　Majesty's　



Ministers；　attesting　the　value　of　the　invention。　　I　will　part　with　



my　right　in　it　for　a　million　tumtums。〃







After　examining　the　papers；　the　King　put　them　away　and　promised　him　



an　order　on　the　Lo