alternatives； which could I choose？ Think of your own frailties；
and have some mercy on mine。 I turned my back on both the
alternatives。 Those two agreeable fiends； Prevarication and
Deceit； took me； as it were； softly by the hand： 〃Don't commit
yourself either way； my dear；〃 they said； in their most
persuasive manner。 〃Write just enough to compose your
mother…in…law and to satisfy your husband。 You have got time
before you。 Wait and see if Time doesn't stand your friend； and
get you out of the difficulty。〃
Infamous advice！ And yet I took itI； who had been well brought
up； and who ought to have known better。 You who read this
shameful confession would have known better； I am sure。 _You_ are
not included； in the Prayer…book category； among the 〃miserable
sinners。〃
Well！ well！ let me have virtue enough to tell the truth。 In
writing to my mother…in…law； I informed her that it had been
found necessary to remove Miserrimus Dexter to an asylumand I
left her to draw her own conclusions from that fact；
unenlightened by so much as one word of additional information。
In the same way； I told my husband a part of the truth； and no
more。 I said I forgave him with all my heartand I did！ I said
he had only to come to me； and I would receive him with open
armsand so I would！ As for the rest； let me say with
Hamlet〃The rest is silence。〃
Having dispatched my unworthy letters； I found myself growing
restless； and feeling the want of a change。 It would be necessary
to wait at least eight or nine days before we could hope to hear
by telegraph from New York。 I bade farewell for a time to my dear
and admirable Benjamin； and betook myself to my old home in the
North； at the vicarage of my uncle Starkweather。 My journey to
Spain to nurse Eustace had made my peace with my worthy
relatives； we had exchanged friendly letters； and I had promised
to be their guest as soon as it was possible for me to leave
London。
I passed a quiet and （all things considered） a happy time among
the old scenes。 I visited once more the bank by the river…side；
where Eustace and I had first met。 I walked again on the lawn and
loitered through the shrubberythose favorite haunts in which we
had so often talked over our troubles； and so often forgotten
them in a kiss。 How sadly and strangely had our lives been parted
since that time！ How uncertain still was the fortune which the
future had in store for us！
The associations amid which I was now living had their softening
effect on my heart； their elevating influence over my mind。 I
reproached myself； bitterly reproached myself； for not having
written more fully and frankly to Eustace。 Why had I hesitated to
sacrifice to him my hopes and my interests in the coming
investigation？ _He_ had not hesitated； poor fellow_his_ first
thought was the thought of his wife！
I had passed a fortnight with my uncle and aunt before I heard
again from Mr。 Playmore。 When a letter from him arrived at last；
it disappointed me indescribably。 A telegram from our messenger
informed us that the lodge…keeper's daughter and her husband had
left New York； and that he was still in search of a trace of
them。
There was nothing to be done but to wait as patiently as we
could； on the chance of hearing better news。 I remained in the
North； by Mr。 Playmore's advice； so as to be within an easy
journey to Edinburghin case it might be necessary for me to
consult him personally。 Three more weeks of weary expectation
passed before a second letter reached me。 This time it was
impossible to say whether the news were good or bad。 It might
have been eitherit was simply bewildering。 Even Mr。 Playmore
himself was taken by surprise。 These were the last wonderful
wordslimited of course by considerations of economywhich
reached us （by telegram） from our agent in America：
〃Open the dust…heap at Gleninch。〃
CHAPTER XLIII。
AT LAST！
MY letter from Mr。 Playmore； inclosing the agent's extraordinary
telegram； was not inspired by the sanguine view of our prospects
which he had expressed to me when we met at Benjamin's house。
〃If the telegram mean anything；〃 he wrote； 〃it means that the
fragments of the torn letter have been cast into the housemaid's
bucket （along with the dust； the ashes； and the rest of the
litter in the room）； and have been emptied on the dust…heap at
Gleninch。 Since this was done； the accumulated refuse collected
from the periodical cleansings of the house； during a term of
nearly three yearsincluding； of course； the ashes from the
fires kept burning； for the greater part of the year； in the
library and the picture…galleryhave been poured upon the heap；
and have buried the precious morsels of paper deeper and deeper；
day by day。 Even if we have a fair chance of finding these
fragments； what hope can we feel； at this distance of time； of
recovering them with the writing in a state of preservation？ I
shall be glad to hear； by return of post if possible； how the
matter strikes you。 If you could make it convenient to consult
with me personally in Edinburgh； we should save time； when time
may be of serious importance to us。 While you are at Doctor
Starkweather's you are within easy reach of this place。 Please
think of it。〃
I thought of it seriously enough。 The foremost question which I
had to consider was the question of my husband。
The departure of the mother and son from Spain had been so long
delayed； by the surgeon's orders； that the travelers had only
advanced on their homeward journey as far as Bordeaux； when I had
last heard from Mrs。 Macallan three or four days since。 Allowing
for an interval of repose at Bordeaux； and for the slow rate at
which they would be compelled to move afterward； I might still
expect them to arrive in England some time before a letter from
the agent in America could reach Mr。 Playmore。 How； in this
position of affairs； I could contrive to join the lawyer in
Edinburgh； after meeting my husband in London； it was not easy to
see。 The wise and the right way； as I thought； was to tell Mr。
Playmore frankly that I was not mistress of my
Own movements； and that he had better address his next letter to
me at Benjamin's house。
Writing to my legal adviser in this sense； I had a word of my own
to add on the subject of the torn letter。
In the last years of my father's life I had traveled with him in
Italy； and I had seen in the Museum at Naples the wonderful
relics of a bygone time discovered among the ruins of Pompeii。 By
way of encouraging Mr。 Playmore； I now reminded him that the
eruption which had overwhelmed the town had preserved； for more
than sixteen hundred years； such perishable things as the straw
in which pottery had been packed； the paintings on house walls；
the dresses worn by the inhabitants； and （most noticeable of all；
in our case） a piece of ancient paper； still attached to the
volcanic ashes which had fallen over it。 If these discoveries had
been made after a lapse of sixteen centuries； under a layer of
dust and ashes on a large scale； surely we might hope to meet
with similar cases of preservation； after a lapse of three or
four years only； under a layer of dust and ashes on a small
scale。 Taking for granted （what was perhaps doubtful enough） that
the fragments of the letter could be recovered； my own conviction
was that the writing on them； though it might be faded； would
certainly still be legible。 The very accumulations which Mr。
Playmore deplored would be the means of preserving them from the
rain and the damp。 With these modest hints I closed my letter；
and thus for once； thanks to my Continental experience； I was
able to instruct my lawyer！
Another day passed； and I heard nothing of the travelers。
I began to feel anxious。 I made my preparations for my journey
southward overnight； and I resolved to start for London the next
dayunless I heard of some change in Mrs。 Macallan's traveling
arrangements in the interval。
The post of the next morning decided my course of action。 It
brought me a letter from my mother…in…law； which added one more
to the memorable dates in my domestic calendar。
Eustace and his mother had advanced as far as Paris on their
homeward journey； when a cruel disaster had befallen them。 The
fatigues of traveling； and the excitement of his anticipated
meeting with me； had proved together to be too much for my
husband。 He had held out as far as Paris with the greatest
difficulty； and he was now confined to his bed again； struck down
by a relapse。 The doctors； this time； had no fear for his life；
provided that his patience would support him through a lengthened
period of the most absolute repose。
〃It now rests with you； Valeria；〃 Mrs。 Macallan wrote； 〃to
fortify and comfort Eustace under this new calamity。 Do not
suppose that he has ever blamed or thought of blaming you for
leaving him with me in Spain； as soon as he was declared to be
out of danger。 'It was _I_ who left _her；_' he said to me； when
we first talked about it； 'and it is my wife's right to expect
that I should go back to her。' Those were his words； my dear； and
he has done all he can to abide by them。 Helpless in his bed； he
now asks you to take the will for the deed； and to join him in
Paris。 I think I know you well enough； my child； to be sure that
you will do this； and I need only add one word of caution； before
I close my letter。 Avoid all reference； not only to the Trial
（you will do that of your own accord）； but even to our house at
Gleninch。 You will understand how he feels； in his present state
of nervous depression； when I tell you that I should never have
ventured on asking you to join him here； if your letter had not
informed me that your visits to Dexter were at an end。 Would you
believe it？his horror of anything which recalls our past
troubles is still so vivid that he has actually asked me to give
my consent to selling Gleninch！〃
So Eustace's mother wrote of him。 But she had not trusted
entirely to her own powers of persuasion。 A slip of paper was
inclosed in her letter； containing these two lines； traced in
penciloh； so feebly and so wearily！by my poor darling
himself：
〃I am too weak to travel any further； Valeria。 Will you come to
me