take a carriage provided by the hotel。
My heart was heavy that morning： I felt the unacknowledged
estrangement that had grown up between us very keenly。 My husband
opened the door to go out； and came back to kiss me before he
left me by myself。 That little after…thought of tenderness
touched me。 Acting on the impulse of the moment； I put my arm
round his neck； and held him to me gently。
〃My darling；〃 I said； 〃give me all your confidence。 I know that
you love me。 Show that you can trust me too。〃
He sighed bitterly； and drew back from mein sorrow； not in
anger。
〃I thought we had agreed； Valeria； not to return to that subject
again；〃 he said。 〃You only distress yourself and distress me。〃
He left the room abruptly； as if he dare not trust himself to say
more。 It is better not to dwell on what I felt after this last
repulse。 I ordered the carriage at once。 I was eager to find a
refuge from my own thoughts in movement and change。
I drove to the shops first； and made the purchases which I had
mentioned to Eustace by way of giving a reason for going out。
Then I devoted myself to the object which I really had at heart。
I went to old Benjamin's little villa； in the by…ways of St。
John's Wood。
As soon as he had got over the first surprise of seeing me； he
noticed that I looked pale and care…worn。 I confessed at once
that I was in trouble。 We sat down together by the bright
fireside in his little library （Benjamin； as far as his means
would allow； was a great collector of books）； and there I told my
old friend； frankly and truly； all that I have told here。
He was too distressed to say much。 He fervently pressed my hand；
he fervently thanked God that my father had not lived to hear
what he had heard。 Then； after a pause； he repeated my
mother…in…law's name to himself in a doubting； questioning tone。
〃Macallan？〃 he said。 〃Macallan？ Where have I heard that name？ Why
does it sound as if it wasn't strange to me？〃
He gave up pursuing the lost recollection； and asked； very
earnestly； what he could do for me。 I answered that he could help
me； in the first place； to put an end to the doubtan
unendurable doubt to _me_whether I were lawfully married or
not。 His energy of the old days when he had conducted my father's
business showed itself again the moment I said those words。
〃Your carriage is at the door； my dear；〃 he answered。 〃Come with
me to my own lawyer； without wasting another moment。〃
We drove to Lincoln's Inn Fields。
At my request Benjamin put my case to the lawyer as the case of a
friend in whom I was interested。 The answer was given without
hesitation。 I had married； honestly believing my husband's name
to be the name under which I had known him。 The witnesses to my
marriagemy uncle； my aunt； and Benjaminhad acted； as I had
acted； in perfect good faith。 Under those circumstances； there
was no doubt about the law。 I was legally married。 Macallan or
Woodville； I was his wife。
This decisive answer relieved me of a heavy anxiety。 I accepted
my old friend's invitation to return with him to St。 John's Wood；
and to make my luncheon at his early dinner。
On our way back I reverted to the one other subject which was now
uppermost in my mind。 I reiterated my resolution to discover why
Eustace had
not married me under the name that was really his own。
My companion shook his head； and entreated me to consider well
beforehand what I proposed doing。 His advice to meso strangely
do extremes meet！was my mother…in…law's advice； repeated almost
word for word。 〃Leave things as they are； my dear。 In the
interest of your own peace of mind be satisfied with your
husband's affection。 You know that you are his wife； and you know
that he loves you。 Surely that is enough？〃
I had but one answer to this。 Life； on such conditions as my good
friend had just stated； would be simply unendurable to me。
Nothing could alter my resolutionfor this plain reason； that
nothing could reconcile me to living with my husband on the terms
on which we were living now。 It only rested with Benjamin to say
whether he would give a helping hand to his master's daughter or
not。
The old man's answer was thoroughly characteristic of him。
〃Mention what you want of me； my dear；〃 was all he said。
We were then passing a street in the neighborhood of Portman
Square。 I was on the point of speaking again； when the words were
suspended on my lips。 I saw my husband。
He was just descending the steps of a houseas if leaving it
after a visit。 His eyes were on the ground： he did not look up
when the…carriage passed。 As the servant closed the door behind
him； I noticed that the number of the house was Sixteen。 At the
next corner I saw the name of the street。 It was Vivian Place。
〃Do you happen to know who lives at Number Sixteen Vivian Place？〃
I inquired of my companion。
Benjamin started。 My question was certainly a strange one； after
what he had just said to me。
〃No；〃 he replied。 〃Why do you ask？〃
〃I have just seen Eustace leaving that house。〃
〃Well； my dear； and what of that？〃
〃My mind is in a bad way； Benjamin。 Everything my husband does
that I don't understand rouses my suspicion now。〃
Benjamin lifted his withered old hands； and let them drop on his
knees again in mute lamentation over me。
〃I tell you again；〃 I went on； 〃my life is unendurable to me。 I
won't answer for what I may do if I am left much longer to live
in doubt of the one man on earth whom I love。 You have had
experience of the world。 Suppose you were shut out from Eustace's
confidence； as I am？ Suppose you were as fond of him as I am； and
felt your position as bitterly as I feel itwhat would you do？〃
The question was plain。 Benjamin met it with a plain answer。
〃I think I should find my way； my dear； to some intimate friend
of your husband's；〃 he said； 〃and make a few discreet inquiries
in that quarter first。〃
Some intimate friend of my husband's？ I considered with myself。
There was but one friend of his whom I knew ofmy uncle's
correspondent； Major Fitz…David。 My heart beat fast as the name
recurred to my memory。 Suppose I followed Benjamin's advice？
Suppose I applied to Major Fitz…David？ Even if he； too； refused
to answer my questions； my position would not be more helpless
than it was now。 I determined to make the attempt。 The only
difficulty in the way； so far； was to discover the Major's
address。 I had given back his letter to Doctor Starkweather； at
my uncle's own request。 I remembered that the address from which
the Major wrote was somewhere in Londonand I remembered no
more。
〃Thank you； old friend； you have given me an idea already；〃 I
said to Benjamin。 〃Have you got a Directory in your house？〃
〃No； my dear；〃 he rejoined； looking very much puzzled。 〃But I can
easily send out and borrow one。〃
We returned to the villa。 The servant was sent at once to the
nearest stationer's to borrow a Directory。 She returned with the
book just as we sat down to dinner。 Searching for the Major's
name under the letter F； I was startled by a new discovery。
〃Benjamin！〃 I said。 〃This is a strange coincidence。 Look here！〃
He looked where I pointed。 Major Fitz…David's address was Number
Sixteen Vivian Placethe very house which I had seen my husband
leaving as we passed in the carriage！
CHAPTER VII。
ON THE WAY TO THE MAJOR。
〃YES； said Benjamin。 〃It _is_ a coincidence certainly。 Still〃
He stopped and looked at me。 He seemed a little doubtful how I
might receive what he had it in his mind to say to me next。
〃Go on；〃 I said。
〃Still； my dear； I see nothing suspicious in what has happened；〃
he resumed。 〃To my mind it is quite natural that your husband；
being in London； should pay a visit to one of his friends。 And
it's equally natural that we should pass through Vivian Place on
our way back here。 This seems to be the reasonable view。 What do
_you_ say？〃
〃I have told you already that my mind is in a bad way about
Eustace；〃 I answered。 〃_I_ say there is some motive at the bottom
of his visit to Major Fitz…David。 It is not an ordinary call。 I
am firmly convinced it is not an ordinary call！〃
〃Suppose we get on with our dinner？〃 said Benjamin； resignedly。
〃Here is a loin of mutton； my dearan ordinary loin of mutton。
Is there anything suspicious in _that？_ Very well； then。 Show me
you have confidence in the mutton； please eat。 There's the wine；
again。 No mystery； Valeria； in that claretI'll take my oath
it's nothing but innocent juice of the grape。 If we can't believe
in anything else； let's believe in juice of the grape。 Your good
health； my dear。〃
I adapted myself to the old man's genial humor as readily as I
could。 We ate and we drank； and we talked of by…gone days。 For a
little while I was almost happy in the company of my fatherly old
friend。 Why was I not old too？ Why had I not done with love； with
its certain miseries； its transient delights； its cruel losses；
its bitterly doubtful gains？ The last autumn flowers in the
window basked brightly in the last of the autumn sunlight。
Benjamin's little dog digested his dinner in perfect comfort on
the hearth。 The parrot in the next house screeched his vocal
accomplishments cheerfully。 I don't doubt that it is a great
privilege to be a human being。 But may it not be the happier
destiny to be an animal or a plant？
The brief respite was soon over； all my anxieties came back。 I
was once more a doubting； discontented； depressed creature when I
rose to say good…by。
〃Promise； my dear； you will do nothing rash； 〃said Benjamin； as
he opened the door for me。
〃Is it rash to go to Major Fitz…David？〃 I asked。
〃Yesif you go by yourself。 You don't know what sort of man he
is； you don't know how he may receive you。 Let me try first； and
pave the way； as the saying is。 Trust my experience； my dear。 In
matters of this sort there is nothing like paving the way。〃
I considered a moment。 It was due to my good friend to consider
before I said No。
Reflection decided me on taking the responsibility； whatever it
might be； upon my own shoulders。 Good or bad； compassionate or
cruel； the Major was a man。 A woman's influence was the safest
influence to trust with him； where the end to