the quest of the golden girl- 第23部分

〃But　not　quite　in　the　same　way？〃　I　suggested。

〃I　love　Sylvia　very　tenderly；〃　he　said。

〃Yes；　I　know；　I　don't　think　you　could　do　anything　else。　　No　man　worth　his　salt　could　be　anything　but　tender　to　a　dainty　little　woman　like　that。　　But　tenderness；　gentleness；　affection；　even　self…sacrifice；these　may　be　parts　of　love；　but　they　are　merely　the　crude　untransformed　ingredients　of　a　love　such　as　you　feel　for　your　wife；　and　such　as　I　know　she　feels　for　you。〃

〃She　still　loves　me；　then；〃　he　said　pitifully；　〃she　hasn't　fallen　in　love　with　you。〃

〃No　fear；〃　I　answered；　〃no　such　luck　for　me。　　If　she　had；　I'm　afraid　I　should　hardly　have　been　talking　to　you　as　I　am　at　this　moment。　　If　a　woman　like　Rosalind；　as　I　call　her；　gave　me　her　love；　it　would　take　more　than　a　husband　to　rob　me　of　it；　I　can　tell　you。〃

〃Yes；〃　he　repeated；　〃on　my　soul；　I　love　her。　　I　have　never　been　false　to　her；　in　my　heart；　but〃

〃I　know　all　about　it；〃　I　said；　〃may　I　tell　you　how　it　all　was；diagnose　the　situation？〃

〃Do；〃　he　replied；　〃it　is　a　relief　to　hear　you　talk。〃

〃Well；〃　I　said；　〃may　I　ask　one　rather　intimate　question？　　Did　you　ever　before　you　were　married　sow　what　are　known　as　wild　oats？〃

〃Never；〃　he　answered　indignantly；　flashing　for　a　moment。

〃Well；　you　should　have　done；〃　I　said；　〃that's　just　the　whole　trouble。　　Wild　oats　will　get　sown　some　time；　and　one　of　the　arts　of　life　is　to　sow　them　at　the　right　time；the　younger　the　better。　　Think　candidly　before　you　answer　me。〃

〃I　believe　you　are　right；〃　he　replied；　after　a　long　pause。

〃You　are　a　believer　in　theories；〃　I　continued；　〃and　so　am　I；　but　you　can　take　my　word　that　on　these　matters　not　all；　but　some；　of　the　old　theories　are　best。　　One　of　them　is　that　the　man　who　does　not　sow　his　wild　oats　before　marriage　will　sow　them　afterwards；　with　a　whirlwind　for　the　reaping。〃

Orlando　looked　up　at　me；　haggard　with　confession。

〃You　know　the　old　story　of　the　ring　given　to　Venus？　　Well；　it　is　the　ruin　of　no　few　men　to　meet　Venus　for　the　first　time　on　their　marriage　night。　　Their　very　chastity；　paradoxical　as　it　may　seem；　is　their　destruction。　No　one　can　appreciate　the　peace；　the　holy　satisfaction　of　monogamy　till　he　has　passed　through　the　wasting　distractions；　the　unrest　of　polygamy。　　Plunged　right　away　into　monogamy；　man；　unexperienced　in　his　good　fortune；　hankers　after　polygamy；　as　the　monotheistic　Jew　hankered　after　polytheism；　and　thus　the　monogamic　young　man　too　often　meets　Aphrodite　for　the　first　time；　and　makes　future　appointments　with　her；　in　the　arms　of　his　pure　young　wife。　　If　you　have　read　Swedenborg；　you　will　remember　his　denunciation　of　the　lust　of　variety。　　Now；　that　is　a　lust　every　young　man　feels；　but　it　is　one　to　be　satisfied　before　marriage。　　Sylvia　Joy　has　been　such　a　variant　for　you；　and　I'm　afraid　you're　going　to　have　some　little　trouble　to　get　her　off　your　nerves。　　Tell　me　frankly；〃　I　said；　〃have　you　had　your　fill　of　Aphrodite？　　It　is　no　use　your　going　back　to　your　wife　till　you　have　had　that。〃

〃I'm　not　quite　a　beast；〃　he　retorted。　〃After　all；　it　was　an　experiment　we　both　agreed　to　try。〃

〃Certainly；〃　I　answered；　〃and　I　hope　it　may　have　the　result　of　persuading　you　of　the　unwisdom　of　experimenting　with　happiness。　You　have　the　realities　of　happiness；　why　should　you　trouble　about　its　theories？　　They　are　for　unhappy　people；　like　me；　who　must　learn　to　distil　by　learned　patience　the　aurum　potabile　from　the　husks　of　life；　the　peace　which　happier　mortals　find　lying　like　manna　each　morn　upon　the　meadows。〃

〃Well；〃　I　continued；　〃enough　of　the　abstract；　let　us　have　another　drink；　and　tell　me　what　you　propose　to　do。〃

〃Poor　Sylvia！〃　sighed　Orlando。

〃Shall　I　tell　you　about　Sylvia？〃　I　said。　〃On　second　thoughts；　I　won't。　　It　would　hardly　be　fair　play；　but　this；　I　may　say；　relying　on　your　honour；　that　if　you　were　to　come　to　my　hotel；　I　could　show　you　indisputable　proof　that　I　know　at　least　as　much　about　Sylvia　Joy　as　even　such　a　privileged　intimate　as　yourself。〃

〃It　is　strange；　then；　that　she　never　recognised　you　just　now；〃　he　retorted；　with　forlorn　alertness。

〃Of　course　she　didn't。　　How　young　you　are！　　It　is　rather　too　bad　of　a　woman　of　Sylvia's　experience。〃

〃And　I've　bought　our　passages　for　to…　morrow。　　I　cannot　let　her　go　without　some　sort　of　good…bye。〃

〃Give　the　tickets　to　me。　　I　can　make　use　of　them。　　How　much　are　they？　　Let's　see。〃

The　calculation　made　and　the　money　passed　across；　I　said　abruptly；

〃Now　supposing　we　go　and　see　your　wife。〃

〃You　have　saved　my　life；〃　he　said　hoarsely；　pressing　my　hand　as　we　rose。

〃I　don't　know　about　that；〃　I　said　inwardly；　〃but　I　do　hope　I　have　saved　your　wife。〃

As　I　thought　of　that；　a　fear　occurred　to　me。

〃Look　here；〃　I　said；　as　we　strolled　towards　the　Twelve　Golden…Haired；　〃I　hope　you　have　no　silly　notions　about　confession；　about　telling　the　literal　truth　and　so　on。　Because　I　want　you　to　promise　me　that　you　will　lie　stoutly　to　your　wife　about　Sylvia　Joy。　　You　must　swear　the　whole　thing　has　been　platonic。　　It's　the　only　chance　for　your　happiness。　　Your　wife；　no　doubt；　will　lure　you　on　to　confession　by　saying　that　she　doesn't　mind　this；　that；　and　the　other；　so　long　as　you　don't　keep　it　from　her；　and　no　doubt　she　will　mean　it　till　you　have　confessed。　　But；　however　good　their　theories；　women　by　nature　cannot　help　confusing　body　and　soul；　and　what　to　a　man　is　a　mere　fancy　of　the　senses；　to　them　is　a　spiritual　tragedy。　Promise　me　to　lie　stoutly　on　this　point。　It　is；　I　repeat；　the　only　chance　for　your　future　happiness。　　As　has　been　wisely　said；　a　lie　in　time　saves　nine；　and　such　a　lie　as　I　advise　is　but　one　of　the　higher　forms　of　truth。　　Such　lying；　indeed；　is　the　art　of　telling　the　truth。　　The　truth　is　that　you　love　her　body；　soul；　and　spirit；　any　accidental　matter　which　should　tend　to　make　her　doubt　that　would　be　the　only　real　lie。　Promise　me；　won't　you？〃

〃Yes；　I　will　lie；〃　said　Orlando。

〃Well；　there　she　is；〃　I　said；　〃and　God　bless　you　both。〃



CHAPTER　X


IN　WHICH　ONCE　MORE　I　BECOME　OCCUPIED　IN　MY　OWN　AFFAIRS

During　a　pause　in　my　matrimonial　lecture；　Orlando　had　written　a　little　farewell　note　to　Sylvia；a　note　which；　of　course；　I　didn't　read；　but　which　it　is　easy　to　imagine　〃wild　with　all　regret。〃　　This　I　undertook　to　have　delivered　to　her　the　same　night；　and　promised　to　call　upon　her　on　the　morrow；　further　to　illuminate　the　situation；　and　to　offer　her　every　consolation　in　my　power。　　To　conclude　the　history　of　Orlando　and　his　Rosalind；　I　may　say　that　I　saw　them　off　from　Yellowsands　by　the　early　morning　coach。　There　was　a　soft　brightness　in　their　faces；　as　though　rain　had　fallen　in　the　night；　but　it　was　the　warm　sweet　rain　of　joy　that　brings　the　flowers；　and　is　but　sister　to　the　sun。　They　are；　at　the　time　of　my　writing；　quite　old　friends　of　mine；　and　both　have　an　excessive　opinion　of　my　wisdom　and　good…nature。

〃That　lie；〃　Orlando　once　said　to　me　long　after；　〃was　the　truest　thing　I　ever　said　in　my　life；〃a　remark　which　may　not　give　the　reader　a　very　exalted　idea　of　his　general　veracity。

As　the　coach　left　long　before　pretty　young　actresses　even　dreamed　of　getting　up；　I　had　to　control　my　impatient　desire　to　call　on　Mademoiselle　Sylvia　Joy　till　it　was　fully　noon。　　And　even　then　she　was　not　to　be　seen。　　I　tried　again　in　the　afternoon　with　better　success。

Rain　had　been　falling　in　the　night　with　her　too；　I　surmised；　but　it　had　failed　to　dim　her　gay　eyes；　and　had　left　her　complexion　unimpaired。　　Of　course　her　little　affair　with　Orlando　had　never　been　very　serious　on　her　side。　　She　genuinely　liked　him。　　〃He　was　a　nice　kind　boy；〃　was　the　height　of　her　passionate　expression；　and　she　was；　naturally；　a　little　disappointed　at　having　an　affectionate　companion　thus　unexpectedly　whisked　off　into　space。　　Her　only　approach　to　anger　was　on　the　subject　of　his　deceiving　her　about　his　wife。　　Little　Sylvia　Joy　had　no　very　long　string　of　principles；　but　one　generous　principle　she　did　hold　by；never；　if　she　knew　it；　to　rob　another　woman　of　her　husband。　And　that　did　make　her　cross　with　Orlando。　　He　had　not　played　the　game　fair。

There　is　no　need　to　follow；　step　by　step；　the　progression　by　which　Sylvia　Joy　and　I；　though　such　new　acquaintances；　became　in　the　course　of　a　day　or　two　even　more　intimate　than　many　old　friends。　　We　took　to　each　other　instinctively；　even　on　our　first　rather　difficult　interview；　and　very　gently　and　imperceptibly　I　bid　for　the　vacant　place　in　her　heart。

That　night　we　dined　together。

The　next　day　we　lunched　and　dined　together。

The　next　day　we　breakfasted；　lunched；　and　dined　together。

And　on　the　next　I　determined　to　venture　on　the　confession　which；　as　you　may　imagine；　it　had　needed　no　little　artistic　control　not　to　make　on　our　first　meeting。

She　looked　particularly　charming　this　evening；　in　a　black　silk　gown；　exceedingly　simple　and　distinguished　in　style；　throwing　up　the　lovely　firm　whiteness　of　her　throat　and　bosom；　and　making　a　fine　contrast　with　her　lurid　hair。

It　was　sheer　delight　to　sit　opposite　her　at　dinner；　and　quietly　watch　her　without　a　word。　　Shall　I　confess　that　I　had　an　exceedingly　boyish　vanity　in　thus　being　granted　her　friendship？　　It　is　almost　too　boyish　to　confess　at　my　time　of　life。　　It　was　simply　in　the　fact　that　she　was　an　actress；a　real；　live；　famous　actress；　whose　photographs　made　shop　windows　beautiful；come　right　out　of　my　boy's　fairyland　of　the　theatre；　actually　to　sit　eating　and　drinking；　quite　in　a　real　way；　at　my　side。　　This；　no　doubt；　will　seem　pathetically　naive　to　most　modern　young　men；　who　in　this　respect　begin　where　I　leave　off。　　An　actress！　　Great　heavens！　an　actress　is　the　first　step　to　a　knowledge　of　life。　　Besides；　actresses　off　the　stage　are　either　brainless　or　soulful；　and　the　choice　of　evils　is　a　delicate　one。　　Well；　I　have　never　set　up　for　a　man　of　the　world；　though　sometimes　when　I　have　heard　the　Lovelaces　of　the　day　hinting　mysteriously　at　their　secret　sins　or　boasting　of　their　florid　gallantries；　I　have　remembered　the　last　verse　of　Suckling's　〃Ballad　of　a　Wedding；〃　which；　no　doubt；　the　reader　knows　as　well　as　I；　and　if　not；　it　will　increase　his　acquaintance　with　our　brave　old　poetry　to　look　it　up。

〃You　are　very　beautiful　to…night；〃　I　said；　in　one　of　the　meditative　pauses　between　the　courses。

〃Thank　you；　kind　sir；〃　she　said；　making　a　mock