for I love thee in Jesus Christ； and care for thy salvation fills my
heart。 Speak！ give me your reasons。 I long to know them that I may
refute them。〃
The old man replied quietly
〃It is the same to me whether I speak or remain silent。 I will give my
reasons without asking yours in return； for I have no interest in you
at all。 I care neither for your happiness nor your misfortune； and it
matters not to me whether you think one way or another。 Why should I
love you； or hate you？ Aversion and sympathy are equally unworthy of
the wise man。 But since you question me； know then that I am named
Timocles； and that I was born at Cos； of parents made rich by
commerce。 My father was a shipowner。 In intelligence he much resembled
Alexander； who is surnamed the Great。 But he was not so gross。 In
short； he was a man of no great parts。 I had two brothers； who； like
him； were shipowners。 As for me； I followed wisdom。 My eldest brother
was compelled by my father to marry a Carian woman； named Timaessa；
who displeased him so greatly that he could not live with her without
falling into a deep melancholy。 However； Timaessa inspired our younger
brother with a criminal passion； and this passion soon turned to a
furious madness。 The Carian woman hated them both equally； but she
loved a flute…player； and received him at night in her chamber。 One
morning he left there the wreath which he usually wore at feasts。 My
two brothers； having found this wreath； swore to kill the flute…
player； and the next day they caused him to perish under the lash； in
spite of his tears and prayers。 My sister…in…law felt such grief that
she lost her reason； and these three poor wretches became beasts
rather than human beings； and wandered insane along the shores of Cos；
howling like wolves and foaming at the mouth； and hooted at by the
children； who threw shells and stones at them。 They died； and my
father buried them with his own hands。 A little later his stomach
refused all nourishment； and he died of hunger； though he was rich
enough to have bought all the meats and fruits in the markets of Asia。
He was deeply grieved at having to leave me his fortune。 I used it in
travels。 I visited Italy； Greece； and Africa without meeting a single
person who was either wise or happy。 I studied philosophy at Athens
and Alexandria； and was deafened by noisy arguments。 At last I
wandered as far as India； and I saw on the banks of the Ganges a naked
man； who had sat there motionless with his legs crossed for more than
thirty years。 Climbing plants twined round his dried up body； and the
birds built their nests in his hair。 Yet he lived。 At the sight of him
I called to mind Timaessa； the flute…player； my two brothers； and my
father； and I realised that this Indian was a wise man。 'Men；' I said
to myself； 'suffer because they are deprived of that which they
believe to be good； or because； possessing it they fear to lose it； or
because they endure that which they believe to be an evil。 Put an end
to all beliefs of this kind； and the evils would disappear。' That is
why I resolved henceforth to deem nothing an advantage； to tear myself
entirely from the good things of this world； and to live silent and
motionless； like the Indian。〃
Paphnutius had listened attentively to the old man's story。
〃Timocles of Cos；〃 he replied； 〃I own that your discourse is not
wholly devoid of sense。 It is； in truth； wise to despise the riches of
this world。 But it would be absurd to despise also your eternal
welfare； and render yourself liable to be visited by the wrath of God。
I grieve at your ignorance； Timocles； and I will instruct you in the
truth； in order that knowing that there really exists a God in three
hypostases； you may obey this God as a child obeys its father。〃
Timocles interrupted him。
〃Refrain； stranger； from showing me your doctrines； and do not imagine
that you will persuade me to share your opinions。 All discussions are
useless。 My opinion is to have no opinion。 My life is devoid of
trouble because I have no preferences。 Go thy ways； and strive not to
withdraw me from the beneficent apathy in which I am plunged； as
though in a delicious bath； after the hardships of my past days。〃
Paphnutius was profoundly instructed in all things relating to the
faith。 By his knowledge of the human heart； he was aware that the
grace of God had not fallen on old Timocles； and the day of salvation
for this soul so obstinately resolved to ruin itself had not yet come。
He did not reply； lest the power given for edification should turn to
destruction。 For it sometimes happens； in disputing with infidels；
that the means used for their conversion may steep them still farther
in sin。 Therefore they who possess the truth should take care how they
spread it。
〃Farewell； then； unhappy Timocles；〃 he said； and heaving a deep sigh；
he resumed his pious pilgrimage through the night。
In the morning； he saw the ibises motionless on one leg at the edge of
the water； which reflected their pale pink necks。 The willows
stretched their soft grey foliage to the bank； cranes flew in a
triangle in the clear sky； and the cry of unseen herons was heard from
the sedges。 Far as the eye could reach； the river rolled its broad
green waters o'er which white sails； like the wings of birds； glided；
and here and there on the shores； a white house shone out。 A light
mist floated along the banks； and from out the shadow of the islands；
which were laden with palms； flowers； and fruits； came noisy flocks of
ducks； geese； flamingoes； and teal。 To the left； the grassy valley
extended to the desert its fields and orchards in joyful abundance；
the sun shone on the yellow wheat； and the earth exhaled forth its
fecundity in odorous wafts。 At this sight； Paphnutius fell on his
knees； and cried
〃Blessed be the Lord； who has given a happy issue to my journey。 O
God； who spreadest Thy dew upon the fig trees of the Arsiniote； pour
Thy grace upon Thais； whom Thou hast formed with Thy love； as Thou
hast the flowers and trees of the field。 May she； by Thy loving care；
flourish like a sweet…scented rose in the heavenly Jerusalem。〃
And every time that he saw a tree covered with blossom； or a bird of
brilliant plumage； he thought of Thais。 Keeping along the left arm of
the river and through a fertile and populous district； he reached； in
a few days； the city of Alexandria； which the Greeks have surnamed the
Beautiful and the Golden。 The sun had risen an hour； when he beheld；
from the top of a hill； the vast city； the roofs of which glittered in
the rosy light。 He stopped； and folded his arms on his breast。
〃There； then；〃 he said； 〃is the delightful spot where I was born in
sin； the bright air where I breathed poisonous perfumes； the sea of
pleasure where I heard the songs of the sirens。 There is my cradle；
after the flesh； my native landin the parlance of the men of these
days！ A rich cradle； an illustrious country； in the judgment of men！
It is natural that thy children should reverence thee like a mother；
Alexandria； and I was begotten in thy magnificently adorned breast。
But the ascetic despises nature； the mystic scorns appearances； the
Christian regards his native land as a place of exile； the monk is not
of this earth。 I have turned away my heart from loving thee；
Alexandria。 I hate thee！ I hate thee for thy riches； thy science； thy
pleasures； and thy beauty。 Be accursed； temple of demons！ Lewd couch
of the Gentiles； tainted pulpit of Arian heresy； be thou accursed！ And
thou； winged son of heaven who led the holy hermit Anthony； our
father； when he came from the depths of the desert； and entered into
the citadel of idolatry to strengthen the faith of believers and the
confidence of martyrs； beautiful angel of the Lord； invisible child；
first breath of God； fly thou before me； and cleanse； by the beating
of thy wings； the corrupted air I am about to breathe amongst the
princes of darkness of this world！〃
Having thus spoken； he resumed his journey。 He entered the city by the
Gate of the Sun。 This gate was a handsome structure of stone。 In the
shadow of its arch； crowded some poor wretches； who offered lemons and
figs for sale； or with many groans and lamentations； begged for an
obolus。
An old woman in rags； who was kneeling there； seized the monk's
cassock； kissed it； and said
〃Man of the Lord； bless me； that God may bless me。 I have suffered
many things in this world that I may have joys in the world to come。
You come from God； O holy man； and that is why the dust of your feet
is more precious than gold。〃
〃The Lord be praised！〃 said Paphnutius； and with his half…closed hand
he made the sign of redemption on the old woman's head。
But hardly had he gone twenty paces down the street； than a band of
children began to jeer at him； and throw stones； crying
〃Oh； the wicked monk！ He is blacker than an ape； and more bearded than
a goat！ He is a skulker！ Why not hang him in an orchard； like a wooden
Priapus； to frighten the birds？ But no； he would draw down the hail on
the apple…blossom。 He brings bad luck。 To the ravens with the monk！ to
the ravens！〃 and stones mingled with the cries。
〃My God； bless these poor children！〃 murmured Paphnutius。
And he pursued his way； thinking。
〃I was worshipped by the old woman； and hated and despised by these
children。 Thus the same object is appreciated differently by men who
are uncertain in their judgment and liable to error。 It must be owned
that； for a Gentile； old Timocles was not devoid of sense。 Though
blind； he knew he was deprived of light。 His reasoning was much better
than that of these idolaters； who cry from the depths of their thick
darkness； 'I see the day！' Everything in this world is mirage and
moving sand。 God alone is steadfast。〃
He passed through the city with rapid steps。 After ten years of
absence he would still recognise every stone； and every stone was to
him a stone of reproach that recalled a sin。 For that reason he struck
his naked feet roughly against the kerb…stones of the wide street； and
rejoiced to see the bloody marks of his wounded feet。 Leaving on his
left the magnificent portico of the Temple of Serapis； he entered a
road