the lapping of the water as it flowed on made around us a kind of
confused murmur almost imperceptible； disquieting； and gave us a vague
sensation of mysterious fear。
The sweet charm of warm nights and of streams glittering in the moonlight
penetrated us。 It was delightful to be alive and to float along thus；
and to dream and to feel at one's side a sympathetic and beautiful young
woman。
I was somewhat affected； somewhat agitated； somewhat intoxicated by the
pale brightness of the night and the consciousness of my proximity to a
lovely woman。
〃Come and sit beside me；〃 she said。
I obeyed。
She went on：
〃Recite some poetry for me。〃
This appeared to be rather too much。 I declined； she persisted。 She
certainly wanted to play the game； to have a whole orchestra of
sentiment； from the moon to the rhymes of poets。 In the end I had to
yield； and； as if in mockery； I repeated to her a charming little poem by
Louis Bouilhet； of which the following are the last verses：
〃I hate the poet who with tearful eye
Murmurs some name while gazing tow'rds a star；
Who sees no magic in the earth or sky；
Unless Lizette or Ninon be not far。
〃The bard who in all Nature nothing sees
Divine； unless a petticoat he ties
Amorously to the branches of the trees
Or nightcap to the grass； is scarcely wise。
〃He has not heard the Eternal's thunder tone；
The voice of Nature in her various moods；
Who cannot tread the dim ravines alone；
And of no woman dream mid whispering woods。〃
I expected some reproaches。 Nothing of the sort。 She murmured：
〃How true it is！〃
I was astonished。 Had she understood？
Our boat had gradually approached the bank and become entangled in the
branches of a willow which impeded its progress。 I placed my arm round
my companion's waist； and very gently approached my lips towards her
neck。 But she repulsed me with an abrupt； angry movement。
〃Have done； pray！ How rude you are！〃
I tried to draw her toward me。 She resisted； caught hold of the tree；
and was near flinging us both into the water。 I deemed it prudent to
cease my importunities。
She said：
〃I would rather capsize you。 I feel so happy。 I want to dream。 This is
so delightful。〃 Then； in a slightly malicious tone； she added：
〃Have you already forgotten the verses you repeated to me just now？〃
She was right。 I became silent。
She went on：
〃Come； now！〃
And I plied the oars once more。
I began to think the night long and my position ridiculous。
My companion said to me：
〃Will you make me a promise？〃
〃Yes。 What is it？〃
〃To remain quiet； well…behaved and discreet； if I permit you〃
〃What？ Say what you mean！〃
〃Here is what I mean： I want to lie down on my back at the bottom of the
boat with you by my side。 But I forbid you to touch me； to embrace me
in shortto caress me。〃
I promised。 She said warningly：
〃If you move； 'I'll capsize the boat。〃
And then we lay down side by side； our eyes turned toward the sky； while
the boat glided slowly through the water。 We were rocked by its gentle
motion。 The slight sounds of the night came to us more distinctly in the
bottom of the boat； sometimes causing us to start。 And I felt springing
up within me a strange； poignant emotion； an infinite tenderness；
something like an irresistible impulse to open my arms in order to
embrace； to open my heart in order to love； to give myself； to give my
thoughts； my body； my life； my entire being to some one。
My companion murmured； like one in a dream：
〃Where are we； Where are we going？ It seems to me that I am leaving the
earth。 How sweet it is！ Ah； if you loved mea little！！！〃
My heart began to throb。 I had no answer to give。 It seemed to me that
I loved her。 I had no longer any violent desire。 I felt happy there by
her side； and that was enough for me。
And thus we remained for a long； long time without stirring。 We had
clasped each other's hands； some delightful force rendered us motionless；
an unknown force stronger than ourselves； an alliance； chaste； intimate；
absolute； of our beings lying there side by side； belonging to each other
without contact。 What was this？ How do I know？ Love； perhaps？
Little by little the dawn appeared。 It was three o'clock in the morning。
Slowly a great brightness spread over the sky。 The boat knocked up
against something。 I rose up。 We had come close to a tiny islet。
But I remained enchanted； in an ecstasy。 Before us stretched the
firmament； red； pink； violet； spotted with fiery clouds resembling golden
vapor。 The river was glowing with purple and three houses on one side of
it seemed to be burning。
I bent toward my companion。 I was going to say； 〃Oh！ look！〃 But I held
my tongue； quite dazed； and I could no longer see anything except her。
She； too； was rosy； with rosy flesh tints with a deeper tinge that was
partly a reflection of the hue of the sky。 Her tresses were rosy； her
eyes were rosy； her teeth were rosy； her dress； her laces； her smile； all
were rosy。 And in truth I believed； so overpowering was the illusion；
that the dawn was there in the flesh before me。
She rose softly to her feet； holding out her lips to me； and I moved
toward her； trembling； delirious feeling indeed that I was going to kiss
Heaven； to kiss happiness； to kiss a dream that had become a woman； to
kiss the ideal which had descended into human flesh。
She said to me： 〃You have a caterpillar in your hair。〃 And； suddenly； I
felt as sad as if I had lost all hope in life。
That is all； madame。 It is puerile； silly； stupid。 But I am sure that
since that day it would be impossible for me to love。 And yetwho can
tell？
＇The young man upon whom this letter was found was yesterday taken out of
the Seine between Bougival and Marly。 An obliging bargeman； who had
searched the pockets in order to ascertain the name of the deceased；
brought this paper to the author。＇
THE ORPHAN
Mademoiselle Source had adopted this boy under very sad circumstances。
She was at the time thirty…six years old。 Being disfigured through
having as a child slipped off her nurse's lap into the fireplace and
burned her face shockingly； she had determined not to marry； for she did
not want any man to marry her for her money。
A neighbor of hers； left a widow just before her child was born； died in
giving birth； without leaving a sou。 Mademoiselle Source took the new…
born child； put him out to nurse； reared him； sent him to a boarding…
school； then brought him home in his fourteenth year； in order to have in
her empty house somebody who would love her； who would look after her；
and make her old age pleasant。
She had a little country place four leagues from Rennes； and she now
dispensed with a servant； her expenses having increased to more than
double since this orphan's arrival； her income of three thousand francs
was no longer sufficient to support three persons。
She attended to the housekeeping and cooking herself； and sent out the
boy on errands； letting him also occupy himself in cultivating the
garden。 He was gentle； timid； silent； and affectionate。 And she
experienced a deep happiness； a fresh happiness when he kissed her
without surprise or horror at her disfigurement。 He called her 〃Aunt；〃
and treated her as a mother。
In the evening they both sat down at the fireside； and she made nice
little dainties for him。 She heated some wine and toasted a slice of
bread； and it made a charming little meal before going to bed。 She often
took him on her knees and covered him with kisses； murmuring tender words
in his ear。 She called him： 〃My little flower； my cherub； my adored
angel； my divine jewel。〃 He softly accepted her caresses； hiding his
head on the old maid's shoulder。 Although he was now nearly fifteen； he
had remained small and weak； and had a rather sickly appearance。
Sometimes Mademoiselle Source took him to the city； to see two married
female relatives of hers； distant cousins； who were living in the
suburbs； and who were the only members of her family in existence。 The
two women had always found fault with her； for having adopted this boy；
on account of the inheritance； but for all that； they gave her a cordial
welcome； having still hopes of getting a share for themselves； a third；
no doubt； if what she possessed were only equally divided。
She was happy； very happy； always occupied with her adopted child。 She
bought books for him to improve his mind； and he became passionately fond
of reading。
He no longer climbed on her knee to pet her as he had formerly done； but；
instead； would go and sit down in his little chair in the chimney…corner
and open a volume。 The lamp placed at the edge of the Tittle table above
his head shone on his curly hair； and on a portion of his forehead； he
did not move； he did not raise his eyes or make any gesture。 He read on；
interested； entirely absorbed in the story he was reading。
Seated opposite to him； she would gaze at him earnestly； astonished at
his studiousness； often on the point of bursting into tears。
She said to him occasionally： 〃You will fatigue yourself； my treasure！〃
hoping that he would raise his head； and come across to embrace her； but
he did not even answer her； he had not heard or understood what she was
saying； he paid no attention to anything save what he read in those
pages。
For two years he devoured an incalculable number of volumes。 His
character changed。
After this； he asked Mademoiselle Source several times for money； which
she gave him。 As he always wanted more； she ended by refusing； for she
was both methodical and decided； and knew how to act rationally when it
was necessary to do so。 By dint of entreaties he obtained a large sum
from her one night； but when he begged her for more a few days later； she
showed herself inflexible； and did not give way to him further； in fact。
He appeared to be satisfied with her decision。
He again became quiet； as he had formerly been； remaining seated for
entire hours； without moving； plunged in deep reverie。 He now did not
even talk to Madame Source； merely answering her