existent！ You are a nonentity； Godin。 My friend cannot be expected to
beat the air！ When one is somebody； one cannot fight with a nobody！
Come； my dear fellowgood…day。'
〃 'My respects to madame；' added the friend。
〃Another day La Palferine was walking with a friend who flung his
cigar end in the face of a passer…by。 The recipient had the bad taste
to resent this。
〃 'You have stood your antagonist's fire；' said the young Count； 'the
witnesses declare that honor is satisfied。'
〃La Palferine owed his tailor a thousand francs； and the man instead
of going himself sent his assistant to ask for the money。 The
assistant found the unfortunate debtor up six pairs of stairs at the
back of a yard at the further end of the Faubourg du Roule。 The room
was unfurnished save for a bed （such a bed！）； a table； and such a
table！ La Palferine heard the preposterous demand'A demand which I
should qualify as illegal；' he said when he told us the story； 'made；
as it was； at seven o'clock in the morning。'
〃 'Go；' he answered； with the gesture and attitude of a Mirabeau；
'tell your master in what condition you find me。'
〃The assistant apologized and withdrew。 La Palferine； seeing the young
man on the landing； rose in the attire celebrated in verse in
/Britannicus/ to add； 'Remark the stairs！ Pay particular attention to
the stairs； do not forget to tell him about the stairs！'
〃In every position into which chance has thrown La Palferine； he has
never failed to rise to the occasion。 All that he does is witty and
never in bad taste； always and in everything he displays the genius of
Rivarol； the polished subtlety of the old French noble。 It was he who
told that delicious anecdote of a friend of Laffitte the banker。 A
national fund had been started to give back to Laffitte the mansion in
which the Revolution of 1830 was brewed； and this friend appeared at
the offices of the fund with； 'Here are five francs； give me a hundred
sous change！'A caricature was made of it。It was once La
Palferine's misfortune； in judicial style； to make a young girl a
mother。 The girl； not a very simple innocent； confessed all to her
mother； a respectable matron； who hurried forthwith to La Palferine
and asked what he meant to do。
〃 'Why； madame；' said he； 'I am neither a surgeon nor a midwife。'
〃She collapsed； but three or four years later she returned to the
charge； still persisting in her inquiry； 'What did La Palferine mean
to do？'
〃 'Well； madame；' returned he； 'when the child is seven years old； an
age at which a boy ought to pass out of women's hands'an indication
of entire agreement on the mother's part'if the child is really
mine'another gesture of assent'if there is a striking likeness； if
he bids fair to be a gentleman； if I can recognize in him my turn of
mind； and more particularly the Rusticoli air； then； ohah！'a new
movement from the matron'on my word and honor； I will make him a
cornet ofsugar…plums！'
〃All this； if you will permit me to make use of the phraseology
employed by M。 Sainte…Beuve for his biographies of obscuritiesall
this； I repeat； is the playful and sprightly yet already somewhat
decadent side of a strong race。 It smacks rather of the Parc…aux…Cerfs
than of the Hotel de Rambouillet。 It is a race of the strong rather
than of the sweet； I incline to lay a little debauchery to its charge；
and more than I should wish in brilliant and generous natures； it is
gallantry after the fashion of the Marechal de Richelieu； high spirits
and frolic carried rather too far； perhaps we may see in it the
/outrances/ of another age； the Eighteenth Century pushed to extremes；
it harks back to the Musketeers； it is an exploit stolen from
Champcenetz； nay； such light…hearted inconstancy takes us back to the
festooned and ornate period of the old court of the Valois。 In an age
as moral as the present； we are bound to regard audacity of this kind
sternly； still； at the same time that 'cornet of sugar…plums' may
serve to warn young girls of the perils of lingering where fancies；
more charming than chastened； come thickly from the first； on the rosy
flowery unguarded slopes； where trespasses ripen into errors full of
equivocal effervescence； into too palpitating issues。 The anecdote
puts La Palferine's genius before you in all its vivacity and
completeness。 He realizes Pascal's /entre…deux/； he comprehends the
whole scale between tenderness and pitilessness； and； like
Epaminondas； he is equally great in extremes。 And not merely so； his
epigram stamps the epoch； the /accoucheur/ is a modern innovation。 All
the refinements of modern civilization are summed up in the phrase。 It
is monumental。〃
〃Look here； my dear Nathan； what farrago of nonsense is this？〃 asked
the Marquise in bewilderment。
〃Madame la Marquise；〃 returned Nathan； 〃you do not know the value of
these 'precious' phrases； I am talking Sainte…Beuve； the new kind of
French。I resume。 Walking one day arm in arm with a friend along the
boulevard； he was accosted by a ferocious creditor； who inquired：
〃 'Are you thinking of me； sir？'
〃 'Not the least in the world；' answered the Count。
〃Remark the difficulty of the position。 Talleyrand； in similar
circumstances； had already replied； 'You are very inquisitive； my dear
fellow！' To imitate the inimitable great man was out of the question。
La Palferine； generous as Buckingham； could not bear to be caught
empty…handed。 One day when he had nothing to give a little Savoyard
chimney…sweeper； he dipped a hand into a barrel of grapes in a
grocer's doorway and filled the child's cap from it。 The little one
ate away at his grapes； the grocer began by laughing； and ended by
holding out his hand。
〃 'Oh； fie！ monsieur；' said La Palferine； 'your left hand ought not to
know what my right hand doth。'
〃With his adventurous courage； he never refuses any odds； but there is
wit in his bravado。 In the Passage de l'Opera he chanced to meet a man
who had spoken slightingly of him； elbowed him as he passed； and then
turned and jostled him a second time。
〃 'You are very clumsy！'
〃 'On the contrary； I did it on purpose。'
〃The young man pulled out his card。 La Palferine dropped it。 'It has
been carried too long in the pocket。 Be good enough to give me
another。'
〃On the ground he received a thrust； blood was drawn； his antagonist
wished to stop。
〃 'You are wounded； monsieur！'
〃 'I disallow the /botte/；' said La Palferine； as coolly as if he had
been in the fencing…saloon； then as he riposted （sending the point
home this time）； he added； 'There is the right thrust； monsieur！'
〃His antagonist kept his bed for six months。
〃This； still following on M。 Sainte…Beuve's tracks； recalls the
/raffines/； the fine…edged raillery of the best days of the monarchy。
In this speech you discern an untrammeled but drifting life； a gaiety
of imagination that deserts us when our first youth is past。 The prime
of the blossom is over； but there remains the dry compact seed with
the germs of life in it； ready against the coming winter。 Do you not
see that these things are symptoms of something unsatisfied； of an
unrest impossible to analyze； still less to describe； yet not
incomprehensible； a something ready to break out if occasion calls
into flying upleaping flame？ It is the /accidia/ of the cloister； a
trace of sourness； of ferment engendered by the enforced stagnation of
youthful energies； a vague； obscure melancholy。〃
〃That will do；〃 said the Marquise； 〃you are giving me a mental shower
bath。〃
〃It is the early afternoon languor。 If a man has nothing to do； he
will sooner get into mischief than do nothing at all； this invariably
happens in France。 Youth at present day has two sides to it； the
studious or unappreciated； and the ardent or /passionne/。〃
〃That will do！〃 repeated Mme。 de Rochefide； with an authoritative
gesture。 〃You are setting my nerves on edge。〃
〃To finish my portrait of La Palferine； I hasten to make the plunge
into the gallant regions of his character； or you will not understand
the peculiar genius of an admirable representative of a certain
section of mischievous youthyouth strong enough； be it said； to
laugh at the position in which it is put by those in power； shrewd
enough to do no work； since work profiteth nothing； yet so full of
life that it fastens upon pleasurethe one thing that cannot be taken
away。 And meanwhile a bourgeois； mercantile； and bigoted policy
continues to cut off all the sluices through which so much aptitude
and ability would find an outlet。 Poets and men of science are not
wanted。
〃To give you an idea of the stupidity of the new court； I will tell
you of something which happened to La Palferine。 There is a sort of
relieving officer on the civil list。 This functionary one day
discovered that La Palferine was in dire distress； drew up a report；
no doubt； and brought the descendant of the Rusticolis fifty francs by
way of alms。 La Palferine received the visitor with perfect courtesy；
and talked of various persons at court。
〃 'Is it true；' he asked； 'that Mlle。 d'Orleans contributes such and
such a sum to this benevolent scheme started by her nephew？ If so； it
is very gracious of her。'
〃Now La Palferine had a servant； a little Savoyard； aged ten； who
waited on him without wages。 La Palferine called him Father Anchises；
and used to say； 'I have never seen such a mixture of besotted
foolishness with great intelligence； he would go through fire and
water for me； he understands everythingand yet he cannot grasp the
fact that I can do nothing for him。'
〃Anchises was despatched to a livery stable with instructions to hire
a handsome brougham with a man in livery behind it。 By the time the
carriage arrived below； La Palferine had skilfully piloted the
conversation to the subject of the functions of his visitor； whom he
has since called 'the unmitigated misery man；' and learned the nature
of his duties and his stipend。
〃 'Do they allow you a carriage to go about the town in this way？'
〃 'Oh！ no。'
〃At that La Palferine and a friend who happened to be with him went
downstairs with the poor soul； and insisted on putting him into the
carriage。 It was raining in torrents。 La Pal