painful tide of grief welling up inside her。
“You took your boots off？” she said at last； retreating to the commonplace in search of safety。
“Yes； Ma。 I left them just inside the hallway。”
“Good；” she said。 “You’d better clean them tonight； so as to be ready for tomorrow…” At that
word his mother paused； her voice on the edge of breaking； her teeth biting her lower lip and her
eyelids closed as though warding off a distant sensation of pain。 Then； half turning away so he could
no longer see her eyes； she spoke again。
“But anyway； you can do that later；” she said。 “For now； you’d better go down to the cellar。
Your Pa’s already down there and he said he wanted to see you when you got back from the fields。”
Turning further away from him now； she moved over to the stove and lifted the lid off one of the
pans to drop a handful of kuedin seeds into it。 Ever the dutiful son； Larn turned away。 Towards the
cellar and his father。
The cellar steps creaked noisily as Larn made his way down them。 Despite the noise； at first his
father did not seem to notice his approach。 Lost in concentration； he sat bent over his workbench at
9
the far end of the cellar； a whetstone in his hand as he sharpened his wool…shears。 For a moment；
watching his father unawares as he worked； Larn felt almost like a ghost — as though he had passed
from his family’s world already and they could no longer see or hear him。 Then； finding the thought
of it gave him a shiver； he spoke at last and broke the silence。
“You wanted to see me； Pa？”
Starting at the sound of his voice； his father laid the shears and the whetstone down before
turning to look towards his son and smile。
“You startled me； Arv；” he said。 “Zell’s oath； but you can ind to。 So；
did you manage to fix the pump？”
“Sorry； Pa。” Larn said。 “I tried replacing the starter and every other thing I could think of； but
none of it worked。”
“You tried your best； son；” his father said。 “That’s all that matters。 Besides； the machine spirits
in that pump are so old and ornery the damned thing never worked right half the time anyway I’ll
have to see if I can get a mechanician to come out from Ferrasville to give it a good look…over next
week。 In the meantime； the rain’s been pretty good so we shouldn’t have a problem。 But anyway；
there was something else I wanted to see you about。 Why don’t you grab yourself a stool so the two
of us men can talk？”
Pulling an extra stool from beneath the workbench； his father gestured for him to sit down。
Then； waiting until he saw his son had made himself comfortable； he began once more。
“I don’t suppose I ever told you too much about your great…grandfather before； did I？” he said。
“I know he was an off…worlder； Pa。” Larn said； earnestly。 “And I know his name was Augustus；
same as my middle name is。”
“True enough；” his father replied。 “It was a tradition on your great…grandfather’s world to pass
on a family name to the first…born son in every generation。 Course； he was long dead by the time
you were born。 Mind you； he died even before I was born。 But he was a good man； and so we did it
to honour him all the same。 A good man should always be honoured； they say； no matter how long
he’s been dead。”
For a moment； his face grave and thoughtful； his father fell silent。 Then； as though he had made
some decision； he raised his face up to look his son clearly in the eye and spoke again。
“As I say； your great…grandfather was dead long before I could have known him； Arvie。 But
when I was seventeen and just about to come of age my father called me down into this cellar and
told me the tale of him — just like I’m about to tell you now。 You see； my father had decided that
before I became a man it was important I knew where I came from。 And I’m glad he did； cause what
he told me then has stood me in good stead ever since。 Just like I’m hoping that what I’m going to
tell you now will stand you in good stead likewise。 Course； with what’s happened in the last few
days — and where you’re bound for — I’ve got extra reasons for telling it to you。 Reasons that；
Emperor love him； my own father never had to face。 But that’s the way of things： each generation
has its own sorrows； and has to make the best of them they can。 That’s all as may be； though。 Guess
I should just stop dancing around it and come out and say what it is I have to say。”
Again； as though wrestling inwardly for the right words； his father paused。 As he waited for him
to begin； Larn found himself suddenly thinking how old his father looked。 Gazing at him as though
for the first time he became aware of the lines and creases across his father’s face； the slightly
rounded slump of his shoulders； the spreading fingers of grey in his once black and lustrous hair。
Signs of aging he would have sworn had not been there a week previously。 It was almost as though
his father had aged a decade in the last few days。
“Your great…grandfather was in the Imperial Guard；” his father said at last。 “Just like you’re
going to be。” Then； seeing his son about to blurt out a string of questions； he held his hand up to
gesture silence。 “You can ask whatever you want later； Arvie。 For now； it’s better if you just let me
tell it to you like my father told me。 Believe me； once you’ve heard it you’ll know why it is I said I
thought you should hear it。”
10
Hanging on every word in the quiet stillness of the cellar； Larn heard his father tell his tale。
“Your great…grandfather was a Guardsman；” his father said again。 “Course； he didn’t start out to be
one。 No one does。 To begin with he was just another farmer’s son like you or me； born on a world
called Arcadus V。 A world not unlike this one； he would later say。 A peaceful place； with lots of
good land for farming and plenty of room for a man to raise a family。 And if things had followed
their natural course； that’s just what your great…grandfather would have done。 He would have found
a wife； raised babies； farmed the land； same as generations of his kin on Arcadus V had done before
him。 And in time he would have died and been buried there； his flesh returning to the fertile earth
while his soul went to join his Emperor in paradise。 That’s what your great…grandfather thought his
future held for him when he came of age at seventeen。 Then he heard the news he’d been
conscripted into the Guard and everything changed。
“Now； seventeen or not； your great…grandfather was no fool。 He knew what being conscripted
meant。 He knew there was a heavy burden that goes with being a Guardsman — a burden worse
than the threat of danger or the fear of dying alone and in pain under some cold and distant sun。 A
burden of loss。 The kind of loss that comes when a man knows he is leaving his home forever。 It’s a
burden every Guardsman carries。 The burden of knowing that no matter how long he lives he will
never see his friends； his family； or even his homeworld again。 A Guardsman never returns； Arvie。
The best he can hope for； if he survives long enough and serves his Emperor well； is to be allowed
to retire and settle a new world somewhere； out among the stars。 And knowing this — knowing he
was leaving his world and his people for good — your great…grandfather’s heart was heavy as he
said farewell to his family and made ready to report for muster。
“Though it may have felt like his heart was breaking then； your great…grandfather was a good
and pious man。 Wise beyond his years； he knew mankind is not alone in the darkness。 He knew the
Emperor is always with us。 Same as he knew that nothing happens in all the wide galaxy without the
Emperor willing it to be so。 And if the Emperor had willed that he must leave his family and his
homeworld and never see them again； then your great…grandfather knew it must serve some greater
purpose。 He understood what the preachers mean when they tell us it isn’t the place of Man to know
the ways of the Emperor。 He knew it was his duty to follow the course laid out for him； no matter
that he didn’t understand why that course had been set。 And so trusting his life to the Emperor’s
kindness and grace； your great…grandfather left his homeworld to go find his destiny among the
stars。
“Now； the years that followed then were hard ones。 Although he would never speak of it much
afterwards； in his time as a Guardsman your great…grandfather saw more than his fair share of
wonders and horrors。 He saw worlds where billions of people lived right on top of each other like
insects in giant towers； never able to breathe clean air or see the sun。 He saw worlds that lay gripped
all year long in perpetual winter； and dry desert worlds that never saw a flake of snow nor felt a drop
of rain。 He saw the blessed warriors of the holy Astartes — god…like giants in human form； he called
them — and great walking machines so big this entire farmhouse would fit inside one of their
footprints。 He saw terrors by the score； in the shape of all manner of twisted xenos and things even
ten times worse。
“Though he faced a thousand and more dangers； though he was at times wounded and seemed
close to death； still his faith in the Emperor never faltered。 Five years become ten。 Ten became
fifteen。 Fifteen became twenty。 And still your great…grandfather followed his orders without thought
of complaint； never once asking when he would be released from service。 Until at last； nearly thirty
years after he’d first been conscripted； he was posted to Jumael IV。
“’Course this world didn’t mean much to him then。 Not at first。 By then he’d seen dozens of
different planets； and at first sight Jumael didn’t seem to have anything much to recommend it more
than most。 His regiment had just finished a long campaign； and they had been sent to Jumael to rest
up and recuperate for a month before being shipped out to war once more。 By then your great11
grandfather didn’t have too many wars left in him。 Oh； he tried to put a brave face on it； never
complaining。 But he was getting old； and the wounds he’d sustained in thirty years of battles were
starting to take their toll。 Worst of all was his lungs — they’d never healed right after he breathed a
mouthful of poison gas on a