he grew more comfortable he reflected how he had calmed that woman； and
he resolved again to spend his life in doing good。 〃Yes； that's the only
ticket；〃 he said to himself； with involuntary frivolity。 He thought of
what the officer had said； and he helplessly added； 〃Circus ticket
reserved seat。〃 Then he began again； and loaded himself with execration。
The boat got into Portland at nine o'clock； and Mavering left her； taking
his hand…bag with him； and letting his trunk go on to Boston。
The officer who received his ticket at the gangplank noticed the
destination on it； and said； 〃Got enough？〃
〃Yes； for one while。〃 Mavering recognised his acquaintance of the night
before。
〃Don't like picnics very much。〃
〃No；〃 said Mavering； with abysmal gloom。 〃They don't agree with me。
Never did。〃 He was aware of trying to make his laugh bitter。 The
officer did not notice。
Mavering was surprised； after the chill of the storm at sea； to find it
rather a warm； close morning in Portland。 The restaurant to which the
hackman took him as the best in town was full of flies； they bit him
awake out of the dreary reveries he fell into while waiting for his
breakfast。 In a mirror opposite he saw his face。 It did not look
haggard； it looked very much as it always did。 He fancied playing a part
through lifehiding a broken heart under a smile。 〃0 you incorrigible
ass！〃 he said to himself； and was afraid he had said it to the young lady
who brought him his breakfast； and looked haughtily at him from under her
bang。 She was very thin； and wore a black jersey。
He tried to find out whether he had spoken aloud by addressing her
pleasantly。 〃It's pretty cold this morning。〃
〃What say？〃
〃Pretty cool。〃
〃Oh yes。 But it's pretty clo…ose；〃 she replied； in her Yankee
cantillation。 She went away and left him to the bacon and eggs he had
ordered at random。 There was a fly under one of the slices of bacon； and
Mavering confined himself to the coffee。
A man came up in a white cap and jacket from a basement in the front of
the restaurant； where confectionery was sold； and threw down a mass of
malleable candy on a marble slab； and began to work it。 Mavering watched
him； thinking fuzzily all the time of Alice； and holding long； fatiguing
dialogues with the people at the Ty'n…y…Coed； whose several voices he
heard。
He said to himself that it was worse than yesterday。 He wondered if it
would go on getting worse every day。
He saw a man pass the door of the restaurant who looked exactly like
Boardman as he glanced in。 The resemblance was explained by the man's
coming back； and proving to be really Boardman。
XXII。
Mavering sprang at him with a demand for the reason of his being there。
〃I thought it was you as I passed；〃 said Boardman； 〃but I couldn't make
sureso dark back here。〃
〃And I thought it was you； but I couldn't believe it；〃 said Mavering；
with equal force； cutting short an interior conversation with Mr。 Pasmer；
which had begun to hold itself since his first glimpse of Boardman。
〃I came down here to do a sort of one…horse yacht race to…day；〃 Boardman
explained。
〃Going to be a yacht race？ Better have some breakfast。 Or better not
here。 Flies under your bacon。〃
〃Rough on the flies；〃 said Boardman； snapping the bell which summoned the
spectre in the black jersey； and he sat down。 〃What are you doing in
Portland？〃
Mavering told him； and then Boardman asked him how he had left the
Pasmers。 Mavering needed no other hint to speak； and he spoke fully；
while Boardman listened with an agreeable silence； letting the hero of
the tale break into self…scornful groans and doleful laughs； and ease his
heart with grotesque； inarticulate noises； and made little or no
comments。
By the time his breakfast came； Boardman was ready to say； 〃I didn't
suppose it was so much of a mash。〃
〃I didn't either；〃 said Mavering； 〃when I left Boston。 Of course I knew
I was going down there to see her； but when I got there it kept going on；
just like anything else； up to the last moment。 I didn't realise till it
came to the worst that I had become a mere pulp。〃
〃Well； you won't stay so；〃 said Boardman； making the first vain attempt
at consolation。 He lifted the steak he had ordered； and peered beneath
it。 All right this time； any way。〃
〃I don't know what you mean by staying so；〃 replied Mavering； with gloomy
rejection of the comfort offered。
〃You'll see that it's all for the best； that you're well out of it。 If
she could throw you over； after leading you on〃
〃But she didn't lead me on！〃 exclaimed Mavering。 〃Don't you understand
that it was all my mistake from the first？ If I hadn't been perfectly
besotted I should have seen that she was only tolerating me。 Don't you
see？ Why； hang it； Boardman； I must have had a kind of consciousness of
it under my thick…skinned conceit； after all； for when I came to the
pointwhen I did come to the pointI hadn't the sand to stick to it
like a man； and I tried to get her to help me。 Yes； I can see that I did
now。 I kept fooling about； and fooling about； and it was because I had
that sort of prescienceof whatever you call itthat I was mistaken
about it from the very beginning。〃
He wished to tell Boardman about the events of the night before； but he
could not。 He said to himself that he did not care about their being
hardly to his credit； but he did not choose to let Alice seem to have
resented anything in them； it belittled her； and claimed too much for
him。 So Boardman had to proceed upon a partial knowledge of the facts。
〃I don't suppose that boomerang way of yours； if that's what you mean；
was of much use；〃 he said。
〃Use？ It ruined me！ But what are you going to do？〃 How are you going
to presuppose that a girl like Miss Pasmer is interested in an idiot like
you？ I mean me； of course。〃 Mavering broke off with a dolorous laugh。
〃And if you can't presuppose it； what are you going to do when it comes
to the point？ You've got to shillyshally； and then you've got to go it
blind。 I tell you it's a leap in the dark。〃
〃Well； then； if you've got yourself to blame〃
〃How am I to blame； I should like to know？〃 retorted Mavering； rejecting
the first offer from another of the censure which he had been heaping
upon himself： the irritation of his nerves spoke。 〃I did speak out at
lastwhen it was too late。 Well； let it all go；〃 he groaned aimlessly。
〃I don't care。 But she isn't to blame。 I don't think I could admire
anybody very much who admired me。 No； sir。 She did just right。 I was a
fool； and she couldn't have treated me differently。〃
〃Oh； I guess it'll come out all right；〃 said Boardman； abandoning himself
to mere optimism。
〃How come all right？〃 demanded Mavering； flattered by the hope he
refused。 〃It's come right now。 I've got my deserts； that's all。〃
〃Oh no； you haven't。 What harm have you done？ It's all right for you to
think small beer of yourself； and I don't see how you could think
anything else just at present。 But you wait awhile。 When did it
happen？〃
Mavering took out his watch。 〃One day； one hour； twenty minutes； and
fifteen seconds ago。〃
〃Sure about the seconds？ I suppose you didn't hang round a great while
afterward？〃
〃Well； people don't； generally；〃 said Mavering； with scorn。
〃Never tried it；〃 said Boardman； looking critically at his fried potatoes
before venturing upon them。 〃If you had stayed； perhaps she might have
changed her mind；〃 he added； as if encouraged to this hopeful view by the
result of his scrutiny。
〃Where did you get your fraudulent reputation for common…sense；
Boardman？〃 retorted Mavering； who had followed his examination of the
potatoes with involuntary interest。 〃She won't change her mind； she
isn't one of that kind。 But she's the one woman in this world who could
have made a man of me； Boardman。〃
〃Is that so？〃 asked Boardman lightly。 〃Well； she is a good…looking
girl。〃
〃She's divine！〃
〃What a dress that was she had on Class Day！〃
〃I never think what she has on。 She makes everything perfect； and then
makes you forget it。〃
〃She's got style； there's no mistake about that。〃
〃Style！〃 sighed Mavering； but he attempted no exemplification。
〃She's awfully graceful。 What a walk she's got！〃
〃Oh； don't； don't； Boardman！ All that's true； and all that's nothing
nothing to her goodness。 She's so good； Boardman！ Well； I give it up！
She's religious。 You wouldn't think that； may be； you can't imagine a
pretty girl religious。 And she's all the more intoxicating when she's
serious； and when she's forgotten your whole worthless existence she's
ten thousand times more fascinating than and other girl when she's going
right for you。 There's a kind of look comes into her eyeskind of
absence； rapture； don't you knowwhen she's serious； that brings your
heart right into your mouth。 She makes you think of some of those
picturesI want to tell you what she said the other day at a picnic when
we were off getting blueberries； and you'll understand that she isn't
like other girlsthat she has a soul fall ofofyou know what；
Boardman。 She has high thoughts about everything。 I don't believe she's
ever had a mean or ignoble impulseshe couldn't have。〃 In the business
of imparting his ideas confidentially； Mavering had drawn himself across
the table toward Boardman； without heed to what was on it。
〃Look out！ You'll be into my steak first thing you know。〃
〃0h； confound your steak？〃 cried Mavering； pushing the dish away。 What
difference does it make？ I've lost her； anyway。〃
〃I don't believe you've lost her；〃 said Boardman。
〃What's the reason you don't？〃 retorted Mavering； with contempt。
〃Because； if she's the serious kind of a girl you say she is； she
wouldn't let you come up there and dangle round a whole fortnight without
letting you know she didn't like it； unless she did like it。 Now you
just go a little into detail。〃
Mavering was quite willing。 He went so much into detail that he left
nothing to Boardman's imagination。 He lost the sense of its calamitous
close in recounting the facts of his story at Campobello； he smiled and
blushed and laughed in telling c