mourn as one without hope； don't you？ Live through it too； I suppose。〃
He made Dan help get the rest of his things into his bag； and with one
little artifice and another prevented him from stagnating in despair。 He
dissented from the idea of waiting over another day to see if Alice would
not relent when she got her letters back； and send for Dan to come and see
her。
〃Relent a good deal more when she finds you've gone out of town； if she
sends for you；〃 he argued； and he got Dan into the cab and off to the
station； carefully making him an active partner in the whole undertaking；
even to checking his own bag。
Before he bought his own ticket he appealed once more to Dan。
〃Look here！ I feel like a fool going off with you on this expedition。 Be
honest for once； now； Mavering； and tell me you've thought better of it；
and don't want me to go！〃
〃Yesyes； I do。 Oh yes； you've got to go。 I I do want you。 Iyou make
me see things in just the right light； don't you know。 That idea of yours
about little stepsit's braced me all up。 Yes〃
〃You're such an infernal humbug；〃 said Boardman； 〃I can't tell whether you
want me or not。 But I'm in for it now； and I'll go。〃 Then he bought his
ticket。
XLV。
Boardman put himself in charge of Mavering； and took him into the smoking
car。 It was impossible to indulge a poetic gloom there without becoming
unpleasantly conspicuous in the smoking and euchre and profanity。 Some of
the men were silent and dull； but no one was apparently very unhappy； and
perhaps if Dan had dealt in absolute sincerity with himself； even he would
not have found himself wholly so。 He did not feel as he had felt when
Alice rejected him。 Then he was wounded to the quick through his vanity；
and now； in spite of all； in spite of the involuntary tender swaying of
his heart toward her through the mere force of habit； in spite of some
remote compunctions for his want of candour with her； he was supported by
a sense of her injustice； her hardness。 Related with this was an obscure
sense of escape； of liberation； which； however he might silence and disown
it； was still there。 He could not help being aware that he had long
relinquished tastes customs； purposes； ideals； to gain a peace that seemed
more and more fleeting and uncertain； and that he had submitted to others
which； now that the moment of giving pleasure by his submission was past；
he recognised as disagreeable。 He felt a sort of guilt in his
enlargement； he knew； by all that he had； ever heard or read of people in
his position； that he ought to be altogether miserable； and yet this
consciousness of relief persisted。 He told himself that a very tragical
thing had befallen him； that this broken engagement was the ruin of his
life and the end of his youth； and that he must live on an old and joyless
man； wise with the knowledge that comes to decrepitude and despair； he
imagined a certain look for himself； a gait； a name； that would express
this； but all the same he was aware of having got out of something。 Was
it a bondage； a scrape； as Boardman called it？ He thought he must be a
very light； shallow； and frivolous nature not to be utterly broken up by
his disaster。
〃I don't know what I'm going home for；〃 he said hoarsely to Boardman。
〃Kind of a rest； I suppose；〃 suggested his friend。
〃Yes； I guess that's it；〃 said Dan。 〃I'm tired。〃
It seemed to him that this was rather fine； it was a fatigue of the soul
that he was to rest from。 He remembered the apostrophic close of a novel
in which the heroine dies after much emotional suffering。 〃Quiet； quiet
heart！〃 he repeated to himself。 Yes； he too had died to hope； to love； to
happiness。
As they drew near their journey's end he said； 〃I don't know how I'm going
to break it to them。〃
〃Oh； probably break itself；〃 said Boardman。 〃These things usually do。〃
〃Yes； of course；〃 Dan assented。
〃Know from your looks that something's up。 Or you might let me go ahead a
little and prepare them。〃
Dan laughed。 〃It was awfully good of you to come； Boardman。 I don't know
what I should have done without you。〃
〃Nothing I like more than these little trips。 Brightens you up to sere
the misery of others； makes you feel that you're on peculiarly good terms
with Providence。 Haven't enjoyed myself so much since that day in
Portland。〃 Boardman's eyes twinkled。
〃Yes；〃 said Dan； with a deep sigh； 〃it's a pity it hadn't ended there。〃
〃Oh； I don't know。 You won't have to go through with it again。 Something
that had to come； wasn't it？ Never been satisfied if you hadn't tried it。
Kind of aching void before； and now you've got enough。〃
〃Yes； I've got enough；〃 said Dan； 〃if that's all。〃
When they got out of the train at Ponkwasset Falls； and the conductor and
the brakeman； who knew Dan as his father's son； and treated him with the
distinction due a representative of an interest valued by the road； had
bidden him a respectfully intimate good…night； and he began to climb the
hill to his father's house； he recurred to the difficulty before him in
breaking the news to his family。 〃I wish I could have it over in a flash。
I wish I'd thought to telegraph it to them。〃
〃Wouldn't have done；〃 said Boardman。 〃It would have given 'em time to
formulate questions and conjectures； and now the astonishment will take
their breath away till you can get your second wind； and thenyou'll be
all right。〃
〃You think so？〃 asked Dan submissively。
〃Know so。 You see； if you could have had it over in a flash； it would
have knocked you flat。 But now you've taken all the little steps； and
you've got a lot more to take； and you're all braced up。 See？ You're
like rock； nowadamant。〃 Dan laughed in forlorn perception of Boardman's
affectionate irony。 〃Little steps are the thing。 You'll have to go in
now and meet your family； and pass the time of day with each one； and talk
about the weather； and account for my being along； and ask how they all
are； and by the time you've had dinner； and got settled with your legs out
in front of the fire； you'll be just in the mood for it。 Enjoy telling
them all about it。〃
〃Don't； Boardman；〃 pleaded Dan。 〃Boardy； I believe if I could get in and
up to my room without anybody's seeing me； I'd let you tell them。 There
don't seem to be anybody about； and I think we could manage it。〃
〃It wouldn't work；〃 said Boardman。 〃Got to do it yourself。〃
〃Well； then； wait a minute；〃 said Dan desperately； and Boardman knew that
he was to stay outside while Dan reconnoitred the interior。 Dan opened
one door after another till he stood within the hot brilliantly lighted
hall。 Eunice Mavering was coming down the stairs； hooded and wrapped for
a walk on the long verandahs before supper。
〃Dan！〃 she cried。
〃It's all up； Eunice；〃 he said at once； as if she had asked him about it。
〃My engagement's off。〃
〃Oh； I'm so glad！〃 She descended upon him with outstretched arms； but
stopped herself before she reached him。 〃It's a hoax。 What do you mean？
Do you really mean it； Dan？〃
〃I guess I mean it。 But don'tHold on！ Where's Minnie？〃
Eunice turned； and ran back upstairs。 〃Minnie！ Min！〃 she called on her
way。 〃Dan's engagement's off。〃
〃I don't believe it！〃 answered Minnie's voice joyously； from within some
room。 It was followed by her presence； with successive inquiries。 〃How
do you know？〃 Did you get a letter？ When did it happen？ Oh； isn't it too
good？〃
Minnie was also dressed for the verandah promenade； which they always took
when the snow was too deep。 She caught sight of her brother as she came
down。 〃Why； Dan's here！ Dan； I've been thinking about you all day。〃 She
kissed him； which Eunice was now reminded to do too。
〃Yes； it's true； Minnie；〃 said Dan gravely。 〃I came up to tell you。 It
don't seem to distress you much。〃
〃Dan！〃 said his sister reproachfully。 〃You know I didn't mean to say
anything I only felt so glad to have you back again。〃
〃I understand； MinnieI don't dame you。 It's all right。 How's mother？〃
Father up from the works yet？ I'm going to my room。〃
〃Indeed you're not！〃 cried Eunice； with elder sisterly authority。 〃You
shall tell us about it first。〃
〃Oh no！ Let him go； Eunice！〃 pleaded Minnie； 〃Poor Dan！ And I don't
think we ought to go to walk when〃
Dan's eyes dimmed； and his voice weakened a little at her sympathy。 〃Yes；
go。 I'm tiredthat's all。 There isn't anything to tell you； hardly。
Miss Pasmer〃
〃Why； he's pale！〃 cried Minnie。 〃Eunice！〃
〃Oh； it's just the heat in here。〃 Dan really felt a little sick and faint
with it； but he was not sorry to seem affected by the day's strain upon
his nerves。
The girls began to take off their wraps。 〃Don't。 I'll go with you。
Boardman's out there。〃
〃Boardman！ What nonsense！〃 exclaimed Eunice。
〃He'll like to hear your opinion of it；〃 Dan began； but his sister pulled
the doors open； and ran out to see if he really meant that too。
Whether Boardman had heard her； or had discreetly withdrawn out of earshot
at the first sound of voices； she could not tell； but she found him some
distance away from the snow…box on the piazza。 〃Dan's just managed to
tell us you were here；〃 she said； giving him her hand。 〃I'm glad to see
you。 Do come in。〃
〃Come along as a sort of Job's comforter；〃 Boardman explained； as he
followed her in； and he had the silly look that the man who feels himself
superfluous must wear。
〃Then you know about it？〃 said Eunice； while Minnie Mavering and he were
shaking hands。
〃Yes； Boardman knows； he can tell you about it；〃 said Dan； from the hall
chair he had dropped into。 He rose and made his way to the stairs； with
the effect of leaving the whole thing to them。
His sisters ran after him； and got him upstairs and into his room； with
Boardman's semi…satirical connivance； and Eunice put up the window； while
Minnie went to get some cologne to wet his forehead。 Their efforts were
so successful that he revived sufficiently to drive them out of his room；
and make them go and show Boardman to his。
〃You know the way； Mr。 Boardman；〃 said Eunice； going before him； while
Minnie followed timorously； but curious for what he should sa