semblance of an applewoman; had discreetly concealed himself by the
roadside; all but his head being underneath a stream of stagnant
water; when; at the eighth hour of the morning; he beheld these
repulsive outcasts approaching in their chariot; carried forward by
the diabolical vigour of the unlawful demon。 Although I had stationed
myself several li distant from the accomplished Wang; the chariot
reached me in less than a breathing space of time; those inside
assuming their fiercest and most aggressive attitudes; and as they
came repeatedly urging the demon to increased exertions。 Their speed
exceeded that of the swallow in his hymeneal flight; all shrubs and
flowers by the wayside withered incapably at the demon's contaminating
glance; running water ceased to flow; and the road itself was scorched
at their passage; the earth emitting a dull bluish flame。 These facts;
and the times and the distances; this person has further inscribed in
a book which thus disposes of all possible defence。 Therefore; O
lesser mandarins; let justice be accomplished heavily and without
delay; for; as the proverb truly says; 'The fiercer the flame the more
useless the struggles of the victim。'〃
At this point the prisoners frequently endeavour to make themselves
heard; protesting that in the distance between the concealed Wang and
the one who stands accusing them they had thrice stopped to repair
their innermost details; had leisurely partaken of food and wine; and
had also been overtaken; struck; and delayed by a funeral procession。
But so great is the execration in which these persons are held; that
although murderers by stealth; outlaws; snatchers from the body; and
companies of men who by strategy make a smaller sum of money appear to
be larger; can all freely testify their innocence; raisers of this
unlawful demon must not do so; and they are beaten on the head with
chains until they desist。
Then the lesser mandarins; raising their voices in unison; exclaim;
‘The amiable Tsay…hi has reported the matter in a discreet and
impartial spirit。 Hear our pronouncement: These raisers of illegal
spirits shall each contribute ten taels of gold; which shall be
expended in joss…sticks; in purifying the road which they have
scorched; and in alleviating the distress of the poor and virtuous of
both sexes。 The praiseworthy Tsay…hi; moreover; shall embroider upon
his sleeve an honourable sign in remembrance of the event。 Let drums
now be beat; and our verdict loudly proclaimed throughout the
province。〃
These things; O my illustrious father (although on account of my
contemptible deficiencies of style much may seem improbable to your
all…knowing mind); these things I write with an unbending brush; for I
set down only that which I have myself seen; or read in their own
printed records。 Doubtless it will occur to one of your preternatural
intelligence that our own system of administering justice; whereby the
person who can hire the greater number of witnesses is reasonably held
to be in the right; although perhaps not absolutely infallible; is in
every way more convenient; but; as it is well said; 〃To the blind;
night is as acceptable as day。〃
Henceforth you will have no hesitation in letting it be known
throughout Yuen…ping that these foreign barbarians do possess secret
demons; in spite of their denials。 Doubtless I shall presently
discover others no less powerful。
With honourable distinction this person has at length grasped the
essential details of the spoken language herenot sufficiently well;
indeed; to make himself understood on most occasions; or even to
understand others; but enough to perceive clearly when he fails to
become intelligible or when they experience a like difficulty with
him。 Upon an earlier occasion; before he had made so much progress;
being one day left to his own resources; and feeling an internal lack;
he entered what appeared to be a tea…shop of reputable demeanour; and;
seating himself at one of the little marble tables; he freely
pronounced the carefully…learned word 〃rice〃 to the attending nymph。
To put aside all details of preparation (into which; indeed; this
person could not enter) he waved his hand gracefully; at the same time
smiling with an expression of tolerant acquiescence; as of one who
would say that what was good enough to be cooked and offered by so
entrancing a maiden was good enough to be eaten by him。 After
remaining in unruffled tranquillity for the full portion of an hour;
and observing that no other person around had to wait above half that
period; this one began to perceive that the enterprise was not likely
to terminate in a manner satisfactory to himself; so that; leaving
this place with a few well…chosen phrases of intolerable regret in his
own tongue; he entered another; and conducted himself in a like
fashion。 。 。 。 Towards evening; with an unperturbed exterior; but
materially afflicted elsewhere; this person seated himself within the
eleventh tea…shop; and; pointing first towards his own constituents of
digestion; then at the fire; and lastly in an upward direction;
thereby signified to any not of stunted intellect that he had reached
such a condition of mind and body that he was ready to consume
whatever the ruling deities were willing to allot; whether boiled;
baked; roast; or suspended from a skewer。 In this resolve nothing
would move him; untilafter many maidens had approached with
outstretched hands and gestures of despairthere presently entered a
person wearing the helmet of a warrior and the manner of a high
official; who spoke strongly; yet persuasively; of the virtues of
immediate movement and a quiet and reposeful bearing。
Assuredly a people who devote so little attention to the study of
food; and all matters connected with it; must inevitably remain
barbaric; however skilfully they may feign a superficial refinement。
It is said; although I do not commit this matter to my own brush; that
among them are more books composed on subjects which have no actual
existence than on cooking; and; incredible as it may appear; to be
exceptionally round…bodied confers no public honour upon the
individual。 Should a favourable occasion present itself; there are
many who do not scruple to jest upon the subject of food; or; what is
incalculably more depraved; upon the scarcity of it。
Nevertheless; there are exceptions of a highly distinguished radiance。
Among these must be accounted one into whose presence this person was
recently led by our polished and harmonious friend Quang…Tsun; the
merchant in tea and spices。 This versatile person; whose business…name
is spoken of as Jones Bob…Jones; is worthy of all benignant respect;
and in a really enlightened country would doubtless be raised to a
more exalted position than that of a breaker of outsides (an
occupation difficult to express adequately in the written language of
a country where it is unknown); for his face is like the sun setting
in the time of harvest; his waist garment excessive; and the undoubted
symmetry of his middle portions honourable in the extreme。 So welcome
in my eyes; after witnessing an unending stream of concave and
attenuated barbarian ghosts; was the sight of these perfections of
Jones Bob…Jones; that instead of the formal greeting of this
Islandthe unmeaning 〃How do you do it?〃I shook hands cordially
with myself; and exclaimed affectionately in our own language;
〃Illimitable felicities! How is your stomach?〃
〃Well;〃 replied Jones Bob…Jones; after Quang…Tsun had interpreted this
polite salutation to his understanding; 〃since you mention it; that's
just the trouble; but I'm going on pretty well; thanks。 I've tried
most of the advertised things; and now my doctor has put me
practically on a bread…and…water courseclear soup; boiled fish;
plain joint; no sweets; a crumb of cheese; and a bare three glasses of
Hermitage。〃
During this amiable remark (of which; as it is somewhat of a technical
nature; I was unable to grasp the contained significance until the
agreeable Quang…Tsun had subsequently repeated it several times for
my retention); I maintained a consistent expression of harmonious
agreement and gratified esteem (suitable; I find; for all like
occasions); and then; judging from the sympathetic animation of Jones
Bob…Jones's countenance; that it had not improbably been connected
with food; I discreetly introduced the subject of sea…snails;
preserved in the essence of crushed peaches; by courteously inquiring
whether he had ever partaken of such a delicacy。
〃No;〃 replied the liberal…minded person; whenencouraged by the
protruding eagerness of his eyes at the mention of the viandI had
further spoken of the refined flavour of the dish; and explained the
manner of its preparation。 〃I can't say that I have; but it sounds
uncommonly goodsomething like turtle; I should imagine。 I'll see if
they can get it for me at Pimm's。〃
This filial tribute goes by a trusty hand; in the person of one Ki
Nihy; who is shortly committing himself to the protection of his
ancestors and the voracity of the unbounded Bitter Waters; and with
brightness and gold it will doubtless reach you in the course of
twelve or eighteen moons。 The superstitious here; this person may
describe; when they wish to send messages from on
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