Jamie loved us both； he would be more evenly torn。
Ian did not argue with me。 We ate in silence； his arm tight around my waist。
Second； I went to see Sunny and Jodi。
I expected to see three glowing cryotanks on top of Doc’s desk； and I was surprised that there were still
just the two Healers； set in the center。 Doc and Kyle hovered over the cot where Jodi lay inert。 I walked
quickly to them； about to demand to know where Sunny was； but when I got closer； I saw that Kyle had
an occupied cryotank cradled in one arm。
“You’ll want to be gentle with that；” I murmured。
Doc was touching Jodi’s wrist； counting to himself。 His lips pressed into a thin line when he heard my
voice； and he had to begin over again。
“Yeah； Doc told me that；” Kyle said； his gaze never leaving Jodi’s face。 A dark； matched set of bruises
was forming under his eyes。 Was his nose broken again？ “I’m being careful。 I just… didn’t want to leave
her alone over there。 She was so sad and so… sweet。”
“I’m sure she’d appreciate it； if she knew。”
He nodded； still staring at Jodi。 “Is there something I’m supposed to be doing here？ Is there some way
to help？”
“Mandy；” Doc corrected。 “She says it’s not exactly right； but it’s close。”
“Mandy；” I repeated。 Not that I would need to remember。 “Where is she？”
“With Trudy—that was a good call there。 Trudy’s exactly the right person。 I think she’s gotten her to
sleep。”
“That’s good。 Mandy will be okay。”
“I hope so。” Doc smiled； but it didn’t affect his gloomy expression much。 “I’ve got lots of questions for
her。”
I looked at the small woman—it was still impossible to believe that she was older than the body I wore。
Her face was slack and vacant。 It frightened me a little—she’d been so vibrantly alive when Sunny was
inside。 Would Mel… ？
I’m still here。
I know。 You’ll be fine。
Like Lacey。She winced； and so did I。
Never like Lacey。
I touched Jodi’s arm softly。 She was much like Lacey in some ways。 Olive skinned and black haired and
tiny。 They could almost be sisters； except that Jodi’s sweet； wan face could never look so repellent。
Kyle was tongue…tied； holding her hand。
“Like this； Kyle；” I said。 I brushed her arm again。 “Jodi？ Jodi； can you hear me？ Kyle’s waiting for you；
Jodi。 He got himself in a lot of trouble getting you here—everybody who knows him wants to beat him
senseless。” I grinned wryly at the big man； and his lips curled up at the corners； though he didn’t look up
to see my smile。
“Not that you’re surprised to hear that；” Ian said beside me。 “When hasn’t that been the case； eh； Jodi？
It’s good to see you again； sweetheart。 Though I wonder if you feel the same way。 Must have been a
nice break to get rid of this idiot for so long。”
Kyle hadn’t noticed his brother was there； attached like a vise to my hand； until Ian spoke。
“You remember Ian； of course。 Never has managed to catch up to me in anything； but he keeps trying。
Hey； Ian；” Kyle added； never moving his eyes； “you got anything you want to say to me？”
“Not really。”
“I’m waiting for an apology。”
“Keep waiting。”
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”
“Who needs an excuse； eh； Jodi？”
It was oddly pleasant； the banter between the brothers。 Jodi’s presence kept it light and teasing。 Gentle
and funny。 I would have woken up for this。 If I were her； I would have been smiling already。
“Keep it up； Kyle；” I murmured。 “That’s just right。 She’ll e around。”
I wished I would get to meet her； to see what she was like。 I could only picture Sunny’s expressions。
What would it be like for everyone here； meeting Melanie for the first time？ Would it seem the same to
them； as if there were no difference？ Would they really grasp that I was gone； or would Melanie simply
fill the role I had？
Maybe they would find her entirely different。 Maybe they would have to adjust to her all over again。
Maybe she would fit in the way I never had。 I pictured her； which was picturing me； the center of a
crowd of friendly faces。 Pictured us with Freedom in our arms and all the humans who had never trusted
me smiling with wele。
Why did that bring tears to my eyes？ Was I really so petty？
No；Mel assured me。And they’ll miss you—of course they will。 All the best people here will feel
your loss。
She seemed to finally accept my decision。
Not accept；she disagreed。I just can’t see any way to stop you。 And I can feel how close it is。 I’m
scared； too。 Isn’t that funny？ I’m absolutely terrified。
That makes two of us。
“Wanda？” Kyle said。
“Yes？”
“I’m sorry。”
“Um… why？”
“For trying to kill you；” he said casually。 “Guess Iwas wrong。”
Ian gasped。 “Please tell me you have some kind of recording device available； Doc。”
“Nope。 Sorry； Ian。”
Ian shook his head。 “This moment should be preserved。 I never thought I’d live to see the day that Kyle
O’Shea would admit to being wrong。 C’mon； Jodi。 That ought toshock you awake。”
“Jodi； baby； don’t you want to defend me？ Tell Ian I neverhave been wrong before。” He chuckled。
that much。
There was no more I could do here。 There was no point in lingering。 Jodi would either e back or she
would not； but neither oute would change my path now。
So I proceeded to my third and final deed： I lied。
I stepped away from the cot； took a deep breath； and stretched my arms。
“I’m tired； Ian；” I said。
Was it really a lie？ It didn’t sound so false。 It had been a long； long day； this； my last day。 I’d been up all
night； I realized。 I hadn’t slept since that last raid； I must have been exhausted。
Ian nodded。 “I’ll bet you are。 Did you stay up with the Heal—with Mandy all night？”
“Yeah。” I yawned。
“Have a nice night； Doc；” Ian said； pulling me toward the exit。 “Good luck； Kyle。 We’ll be back in the
morning。”
“Night； Kyle；” I murmured。 “See you； Doc。”
Doc glowered at me； but Ian’s back was to him； and Kyle was staring at Jodi。 I returned Doc’s glare
with a steady gaze。
Ian walked with me through the black tunnel； saying nothing。 I was glad he wasn’t in the mood for
conversation。 I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on it。 My stomach was twisting and turning；
wringing itself into strange contortions。
I was done； all my tasks acplished。 I only had to wait a bit now and not fall asleep。 Tired as I was； I
didn’t think that would be a problem。 My heart was pounding like a fist hitting my ribs from the inside。
No more stalling。 It had to be tonight； and Mel knew that； too。 What had happened today with Ian had
shown me that。 The longer I stayed； the more tears and arguments and fights I would cause。 The better
the chance that I or someone else would slip up and Jamie would find out the truth。 Let Mel explain it
after the fact。 It would be better that way。
Thanks so much；Mel thought； her words flowed fast； in a burst； her fear marring her sarcasm。
Sorry。 You don’t mind too much？
She sighed。How can I mind？ I’d do anything you asked me to； Wanda。
Take care of them for me。
I would have done that anyway。
Ian； too。
Even if he won’t let you。
I’ll do whatever I can for him； Wanda。 I promise。
Ian paused in the hall outside the red and gray doors to his room。 He raised his eyebrows； and I
nodded。 Let him think I was still hiding from Jamie。 That was true； too。
Ian slid the red door aside； and I went straight to the mattress on the right。 I balled up there； knotting my
shaking hands in front of my hammering heart； trying to hide them behind my knees。
Ian curled around me； holding me close to his chest。 This would have been fine—I knew that he would
end up sprawled out in all directions when he was really asleep—except that he could feel my trembling。
“It’s going to be fine； Wanda。 I know we’ll find a solution。”
“I truly love you； Ian。” It was the only way I could tell him goodbye。 The only way he would accept。 I
knew he would remember later and understand。 “With my whole soul； I love you。”
“I truly love you； too； my Wanderer。”
He nuzzled his face against mine until he found my lips； then he kissed me； slow and gentle； the flow of
molten rock swelling languidly in the dark at the center of the earth； until my shaking slowed。
“Sleep； Wanda。 Save it for tomorrow。 It will keep for the night。”
I nodded； moving my face against his； and sighed。
Ian was tired； too。 I didn’t have to wait long。 I stared at the ceiling—the stars had moved above the
cracks here。 I could see three of them now； where before there had been only two。 I watched them wink
and pulse across the blackness of space。 They did not call to me。 I had no desire to join them。
One at a time； Ian’s arms fell away from me。 He flopped onto his back； muttering in his sleep。 I didn’t
dare wait any longer； I wanted too badly to stay； to fall asleep with him and steal one more day。
I moved cautiously； but he was in no danger of waking。 His breathing was heavy and even。 He wouldn’t
open his eyes till morning。
I brushed his smooth forehead with my lips； then rose and slid out the door。
It was not late； and the caves were not empty。 I could hear voices bouncing around； strange echoes that
might have been ing from anywhere。 I didn’t see anyone until I was in the big cave。 Geoffrey； Heath；
and Lily were on their way back from the kitchen。 I kept my eyes down； though I was very glad to see
Lily。 In the brief glimpse I allowed myself； I could see that she was at least standing upright； her shoulders
straight。 Lily was tough。 Like Mel。 She’d make it； too。
I hurried to the southern corridor； relieved when I was safe in the blackness there。 Relieved and
horrified。 It was really over now。
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。
Before Mel could respond； a heavy hand dropped on my shoulder from the darkness。
“Going somewhere？”
CHAPTER 58
Finished
Iwas so tightly wound that I shrieked in