“You mean help… other than you？” I cringed at the thought of having to relive today’s misery with a
stranger。 “I’m sure you’re just as qualified as any forter—more so。”
“I didn’t mean another forter。” She shifted her weight in the chair and stretched stiffly。 “How many
friends do you have； Wanderer？”
“You mean people at work？ I see a few other teachers almost every day。 There are several students I
speak to in the halls。…”
“Outside of the school？”
I stared at her blankly。
“Human hosts need interaction。 You’re not used to solitude； dear。 You shared an entire planet’s
thoughts —”
“We didn’t go out much。” My attempt at humor fell flat。
She smiled slightly and went on。 “You’re struggling so hard with your problem that it’s all you can
concentrate on。 Maybe one answer is to not concentrate quite so hard。 You said Melanie grows bored
during your working hours… that she is more dormant。 Perhaps if you developed some peer
relationships； those would bore her also。”
I pursed my lips thoughtfully。 Melanie； sluggish from the long day of attempted fort； did seem rather
Kathy nodded。 “Get involved with life rather than with her。”
“That makes sense。”
“And then there are the physical drives these bodies have。 I’ve never seen or heard of their equal。 One
of the most difficult things we of the first wave had to conquer was the mating instinct。 Believe me； the
humans noticed when you didn’t。” She grinned and rolled her eyes at some memory。 When I didn’t react
as she’d expected； she sighed and crossed her arms impatiently。 “Oh； e now； Wanderer。 You must
have noticed。”
“Well； of course；” I mumbled。 Melanie stirred restlessly。 “Obviously。 I’ve told you about the dreams。…”
“No； I didn’t mean just memories。 Haven’t you e across anyone that your body has responded to in
the present—on strictly a chemical level？”
I thought her question through carefully。 “I don’t think so。 Not so I’ve noticed。”
“Trust me；” Kathy said dryly。 “You’d notice。” She shook her head。 “Perhaps you should open your eyes
and look around for that specifically。 It might do you a lot of good。”
My body recoiled from the thought。 I registered Melanie’s disgust； mirrored by my own。
Kathy read my expression。 “Don’t let her control how you interact with your kind； Wanderer。 Don’t let
her control you。”
My nostrils flared。 I waited a moment to answer； reining in the anger that I’d never quite gotten used to。
“She does not control me。”
Kathy raised an eyebrow。
The anger tightened my throat。 “You did not look too far afield for your current partner。 Was that choice
controlled？”
She ignored my anger and considered the question thoughtfully。
“Perhaps；” she finally said。 “It’s hard to know。 But you’ve made your point。” She picked at a string in
the hem of her shirt； and then； as if realizing that she was avoiding my gaze； folded her hands resolutely
and squared her shoulders。 “Who knows how much es from any given host on any given planet？ As
I said before； I think time is probably your answer。 Whether she grows apathetic and silent gradually；
allowing you to make another choice besides this Jared； or… well； the Seekers are very good。 They’re
already looking for him； and maybe you’ll remember something that helps。”
I didn’t move as her meaning sank in。 She didn’t seem to notice that I was frozen in place。
“Perhaps they’ll find Melanie’s love； and then you can be together。 If his feelings are as fervent as hers；
the new soul will probably be amenable。”
“No！” I wasn’t sure who had shouted。 Itcould have been me。 I was full of horror； too。
“Wanderer？”
But I turned and ran for the door； fighting the words that could not e out of my mouth。 Words that
could not be my words。 Words that made no sense unless they were hers； but theyfelt like mine。 They
couldn’t be mine。 They couldn’t be spoken。
That’s killing him！ That’s making him cease to be！ I don’t want someone else。 I wantJared；not a
stranger in his body！ The body means nothing without him。
I heard Kathy calling my name behind me as I ran into the road。
I didn’t live far from the forter’s office； but the darkness in the street disoriented me。 I’d gone two
blocks before I realized I was running in the wrong direction。
People were looking at me。 I wasn’t dressed for exercise； and I wasn’t jogging； I was fleeing。 But no
one bothered me； they politely averted their eyes。 They would guess that I was new to this host。 Acting
out the way a child would。
I slowed to a walk； turning north so that I could loop around without passing Kathy’s office again。
My walk was only slightly slower than a run。 I heard my feet hitting the sidewalk too quickly； as though
they were trying to match the tempo of a dance song。Slap； slap； slap against the concrete。 No； it wasn’t
like a drumbeat； it was too angry。 Like violence。Slap； slap； slap。 Someone hitting someone else。 I
shuddered away from the horrible image。
I could see the lamp on over my apartment door。 It hadn’t taken me long to cover the distance。 I didn’t
cross the road； though。
I felt sick。 I remembered what it felt like to vomit； though I never had。 The cold wetness dewed on my
forehead； the hollow sound rang in my ears。 I was pretty sure I was about to have that experience for my
own。
There was a bank of grass beside the walk。 Around a streetlamp there was a well…trimmed hedge。 I had
no time to look for a better place。 I stumbled to the light and caught the post to hold myself up。 The
nausea was making me dizzy。
Yes； I was definitely going to experience throwing up。
“Wanderer； is that you？ Wanderer； are you ill？”
The vaguely familiar voice was impossible to concentrate on。 But it made things worse； knowing I had an
audience as I leaned my face close to the bush and violently choked up my most recent meal。
“Who’s your Healer here？” the voice asked。 It sounded far away through the buzzing in my ears。 A hand
touched my arched back。 “Do you need an ambulance？”
I coughed twice and shook my head。 I was sure it was over； my stomach was empty。
The Seeker from Chicago had her cell phone in her hand； trying to decide which authority to call。 I took
one good look at her and bent over the leaves again。 Empty stomach or no； she was the last person I
needed to see right now。
But； as my stomach heaved uselessly； I realized that there would be a reason for her presence。
Oh； no！ Oh； no no no no no no！
“Why？” I gasped； panic and sickness stealing the volume from my voice。 “Why are you here？ What’s
happened？” The forter’s very unforting words pounded in my head。
I stared at the hands gripping the collar of the Seeker’s black suit for two seconds before I realized they
were mine。
“Stop！” she said； and there was outrage on her face。 Her voice rattled。
I was shaking her。
My hands jerked open and landed against my face。 “Excuse me！” I huffed。 “I’m sorry。 I don’t know
what I was doing。”
The Seeker scowled at me and smoothed the front of her outfit。 “You’re not well； and I suppose I
startled you。”
“I wasn’t expecting to see you；” I whispered。 “Why are you here？”
“Let’s get you to a Healing facility before we speak。 If you have a flu； you should get it healed。 There’s
no point in letting it wear your body down。”
“I don’t have a flu。 I’m not ill。”
“Did you eat bad food？ You must report where you got it。”
Her prying was very annoying。 “I did not eat bad food； either。 I’m healthy。”
“Why don’t you have a Healer check？ A quick scan—you shouldn’t neglect your host。 That’s
irresponsible。 Especially when health care is so easy and effective。”
I took a deep breath and resisted the urge to shake her again。 She was a full head shorter than I was。 It
was a fight I would win。
A fight？ I turned away from her and walked swiftly toward my home。 I was dangerously emotional。 I
needed to calm down before I did something inexcusable。
“Wanderer？ Wait！ The Healer —”
“I need no Healer；” I said without turning。 “That was just… an emotional imbalance。 I’m fine now。”
She was soon bored。
“So； Wanderer… or do you still go by that name？ I don’t mean to be rude in calling you that。”
I didn’t look at her。 “I still go by Wanderer。”
“Interesting。 I pegged you for one that would choose her own。”
“Idid choose。 I chose Wanderer。”
It had long been clear to me that the mild spat I’d overheard the first day I woke in the Healing facility
was the Seeker’s fault。 The Seeker was the most confrontational soul I’d e across in nine lives。 My
first Healer； Fords Deep Waters； had been calm； kind； and wise； even for a soul。 Yet he had not been
able to help reacting to her。 That made me feel better about my own response。
I turned around to face her。 She was on my small couch； nestled in fortably as if for a long visit。 Her
expression was self…satisfied； the bulging eyes amused。 I controlled the desire to scowl。
“Why are you here？” I asked again。 My voice was a monotone。 Restrained。 I would not lose control
again in front of this woman。
“It’s been a while since I heard anything from you； so I thought I would check in personally。 We’ve still
made no headway in your case。”
My hands clamped down on the edge of the counter behind me； but I kept the wild relief from my voice。
“That seems… overzealous。 Besides； I sent you a message last night。”
Her eyebrows came together in that way she had； a way that made her look angry and annoyed at the
same time； as if you； not she； were responsible for her anger。 She pulled out her palm puter and
touched the screen a few times。
“Oh；” she said stiffly。 “I haven’t checked my mail today。”
She was quiet as she scanned through what I had written。
“I sent it very early in the morning；” I said。 “I was half asleep at the time。 I’m not sure how much of what
I wrote was memory or dream； or sleep…typing； maybe。”
I went along with the words—Melanie’s