for words； something I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do before。 “That doesn’t mean you have to do
anything you don’t want to。 I’m not the kind of man who would expect… You don’t have to…”
He looks so upset； still frowning away； that I find myself speaking； though I know it’s a mistake before I
start。 “That’s not what I mean；” I mutter。 “‘Have to’ is not what I’m talking about； and I don’t think
you’re ‘that kind of man。’ No。 Of course not。 It’s just that —”
Just that I love him。 I grit my teeth together before I can humiliate myself more。 I should bite my tongue
off right now before it ruins anything else。
“Just that… ？” he asks。
I try to shake my head； but he’s still holding my chin tight between his fingers。
“Mel？”
I yank free and shake my head fiercely。
He leans closer to me； and his face is different suddenly。 There’s a new conflict I don’t recognize in his
expression； and even though I don’t understand it pletely； it erases the feeling of rejection that’s
making my eyes sting。
“Will you talk to me？ Please？” he murmurs。 I can feel his breath on my cheek； and it’s a few seconds
before I can think at all。
His eyes make me forget that I am mortified； that I wanted to never speak again。
“If I got to pick anyone； anyone at all； to be stranded on a deserted planet with； it would be you；” I
whisper。 The sun between us burns hotter。 “I always want to be with you。 And not just… not just to talk
to。 When you touch me…” I dare to let my fingers brush lightly along the warm skin of his arm； and it
feels like the flames are flowing from their tips now。 His arm tightens around me。 Does he feel the fire？ “I
don’t want you to stop。” I want to be more exact； but I can’t find the words。 That’s fine。 It’s bad enough
having admitted this much。 “If you don’t feel the same way； I understand。 Maybe it isn’t the same for
you。 That’s okay。” Lies。
“Oh； Mel；” he sighs in my ear； and pulls my face around to meet his。
But his lips move to my ear； and he holds my face when I try to find them again。
“It was a miracle—more than a miracle—when I found you； Melanie。 Right now； if I was given the
choice between having the world back and having you； I wouldn’t be able to give you up。 Not to save
five billion lives。”
“That’s wrong。”
“Very wrong but very true。”
“Jared；” I breathe。 I try to reach for his lips again。 He pulls away； looking like he has something to say。
What more can there be？
“But…”
“But？” How can there be abut？ What could possibly follow all this fire that starts with abut？
“But you’re seventeen； Melanie。 And I’m twenty…six。”
“What’s that got to do with anything？”
He doesn’t answer。 His hands stroke my arms slowly； painting them with fire。
“You’ve got to be kidding me。” I lean back to search his face。 “You’re going to worry about
conventions when we’re past the end of the world？”
He swallows loudly before he speaks。 “Most conventions exist for a reason； Mel。 I would feel like a bad
person； like I was taking advantage。 You’re very young。”
“No one’s young anymore。 Anyone who’s survived this long is ancient。”
There’s a smile pulling up one corner of his mouth。 “Maybe you’re right。 But this isn’t something we
need to rush。”
“What is there to wait for？” I demand。
He hesitates for a long moment； thinking。
“Well； for one thing； there are some… practical matters to consider。”
I wonder if he is just searching for a distraction； trying to stall。 That’s what it feels like。 I raise one
eyebrow。 I can’t believe the turn this conversation has taken。 If he really does want me； this is senseless。
“See；” he explains； hesitating。 Under the deep golden tan of his skin； it looks like he might be blushing。
“When I was stocking this place； I wasn’t much planning for… guests。 What I mean is…” The rest
es out in a rush。 “Birth control was pretty much the last thing on my mind。”
The smile is gone from his face； and for one short second there is a flash of anger I’ve never seen there
before。 It makes him look dangerous in a way I hadn’t imagined he could。 “This isn’t the kind of world
I’d want to bring a child into。”
The words sink in； and I cringe at the thought of a tiny； innocent baby opening his eyes to this place。 It’s
bad enough to watch Jamie’s eyes； to know what this life will bring him； even in the best possible
circumstances。
Jared is suddenly Jared again。 The skin around his eyes crinkles。 “Besides； we’ve got plenty of time to…
think about this。” Stalling again； I suspect。 “Do you realize how very； very little time we’ve been together
so far？ It’s been just four weeks since we found each other。”
This floors me。 “That can’t be。”
“Twenty…nine days。 I’m counting。”
I think back。 It’s not possible that it has been only twenty…nine days since Jared changed our lives。 It
seems like Jamie and I have been with Jared every bit as long as we were alone。 Two or three years；
maybe。
“We’ve got time；” Jared says again。
An abrupt panic； like a warning premonition； makes it impossible for me to speak for a long moment。 He
watches the change on my face with worried eyes。
“You don’t know that。” The despair that softened when he found me strikes like the lash of a whip。
“You can’t know how much time we’ll have。 You don’t know if we should be counting in months or days
or hours。”
He laughs a warm laugh； touching his lips to the tense place where my eyebrows pull together。 “Don’t
worry； Mel。 Miracles don’t work that way。 I’ll never lose you。 I’ll never let you get away from me。”
She brought me back to the present—to the thin ribbon of the highway winding through the Arizona
wasteland； baking under the fierce noon sun—without my choosing to return。 I stared at the empty place
ahead and felt the empty place inside。
Her thought sighed faintly in my head：You never know how much time you’ll have。
The tears I was crying belonged to both of us。
CHAPTER 9
Discovered
Idrove quickly through the I…10 junction as the sun fell behind me。 I didn’t see much besides the white
and yellow lines on the pavement； and the occasional big green sign pointing me farther east。 I was in a
hurry now。
I wasn’t sure exactly what I was in a hurryfor； though。 To be out of this； I supposed。 Out of pain； out of
If I could find a way； I would keep Melanie out of the Seeker’s hands。 It would be very hard。 No； it
would be impossible。
I would try。
I promised her this； but she wasn’t listening。 She was still dreaming。 Giving up； I thought； now that it was
too late for giving up to help。
I tried to stay clear of the red canyon in her head； but I was there； too。 No matter how hard I tried to
see the cars zooming beside me； the shuttles gliding in toward the port； the few； fine clouds drifting
overhead； I couldn’t pull pletely free of her dreams。 I memorized Jared’s face from a thousand
different angles。 I watched Jamie shoot up in a sudden growth spurt； always skin and bones。 My arms
ached for them both—no； the feeling was sharper than an ache； blade…edged and violent。 It was
intolerable。 I had to get out。
I drove almost blindly along the narrow two…lane freeway。 The desert was； if anything； more
monotonous and dead than before。 Flatter； more colorless。 I would make it to Tucson long before
dinnertime。 Dinner。 I hadn’t eaten yet today； and my stomach rumbled as I realized that。
The Seeker would be waiting for me there。 My stomach rolled then； hunger momentarily replaced with
nausea。 Automatically； my foot eased off the gas。
I checked the map on the passenger seat。 Soon I would reach a little pit stop at a place called Picacho
Peak。 Maybe I would stop to eat something there。 Put off seeing the Seeker a few precious moments。
As I thought of this unfamiliar name—Picacho Peak—there was a strange； stifled reaction from Melanie。
I couldn’t make it out。 Had she been here before？ I searched for a memory； a sight or a smell that
corresponded； but found nothing。 Picacho Peak。 Again； there was that spike of interest that Melanie
repressed。 What did the words mean to her？ She retreated into faraway memories； avoiding me。
This made me curious。 I drove a little faster； wondering if the sight of the place would trigger something。
A solitary mountain peak—not massive by normal standards； but towering above the low； rough hills
closer to me—was beginning to take shape on the horizon。 It had an unusual； distinctive shape。 Melanie
watched it grow as we traveled； pretending indifference to it。
Why did she pretend not to care when she so obviously did？ I was disturbed by her strength when I
tried to find out。 I couldn’t see any way around the old blank wall。 It felt thicker than usual； though I’d
thought it was almost gone。
I tried to ignore her； not wanting to think about that—that she was growing stronger。 I watched the peak
instead； tracing its shape against the pale； hot sky。 There was something familiar about it。 Something I
was sure I recognized； even as I was positive that neither of us had been here before。
Almost as if she was trying to distract me； Melanie plunged into a vivid memory of Jared； catching me by
surprise。
trees。 I tell myself that it is not as cold as I think it is。 My body just isn’t used to this。
The hands that are suddenly there on my shoulders do not startle me； though I am afraid of this unfamiliar
place and I did not hear his silent approach。 Their weight is too familiar。
“You’re easy to sneak up on。”
Even now； there is a smile in his voice。
“I saw you ing before you took the first step；” I say without turning。 “I have eyes in the back of my
head。”
Warm fingers stroke my face from my temple to my chin； dragging fire along my skin。
“You look like a dryad hidden here in the trees；” he whispers in my ear。 “One of them。 So beautiful that
you must be fictional。”
“We should plant more trees around the cabin。”
He chuckles； and t