a face illumined- 第63部分

even　her　partial　self…control　a　moment　longer。　　Her　heart　forgave

him；　however；　and　she　wished　him　to　know　it；　so　without　lifting

her　head　she　held　out　her　hand　in　the　place　of　the　words　she　could

not　trust　herself　to　utter。　　He　seized　it　eagerly；　and　it　so　trembled

and　throbbed　in　his　grasp　that　it　made　him　think　of　a　wounded　bird

that　he　once　had　captured。



〃I　take　your　hand；　Miss　Mayhew；〃　he　said　earnestly；　〃not　as　a　sign

of　truce　between　us；　but　as　a　token　of　forgiveness；　and　the　pledge

of　reconciliation　and　friendship。　　Your　brave　truth…telling　to…night

has　atoned　for　your　past。　　Please　give　me　a　chance　at　least　to　try

to　atone　for　mine。〃



His　only　reply　was　a　faint　pressure　from　her　hand　and　then　she　sped

up　the　stairway。　　He　did　not　see　her　again　till　she　came　down　to

breakfast　the　following　morning；　when　she　treated　him　with　a　quiet；

distant；　well…bred　courtesy　that　did　not　suggest　the　sobbing　girl

who　had　fled　from　him　the　evening　before；　much　less　the　despairing；

desperate　woman　who　had　given　him　the　drug　with　which　she　had

intended　to　end　her　existence。　　They　who　see　conventional　surfaces

only　know　but　little　of　life。



Truthful　as　she　was　trying　to　be；　she　was　puzzling　him　more　than

ever；　although　he　was　giving　a　great　deal　of　thought　to　the　problem。











Chapter　XLIII。　　A　〃Heavenly　Mystery。〃









While　Ida's　manner　at　the　breakfast…table　was　quiet　and　self…possessed；

she　still　maintained　the　same　distant　bearing　which　had　been

characteristic　the　evening　before。　　It　was　evident　to　Van　Berg；

however；　that　pride；　wounded　vanity；　and　resentment　were　no　longer

the　motives　for　the　seclusion　in　which　she　sought　to　remain；　even

while　under　the　eyes　of　others。　　It　was　the　natural　shrinking　of

one　who　would　hide　weakness；　trouble；　and　imperfection。　　It　was

the　bearing　of　one　who　had　been　deeply　humiliated；　and　who　was

conscious　of　a　partial　estrangement　towards　those　having　a　knowledge

of　this　humiliation。　　Thus　far　he　could　understand　her；　and　in　the

proportion　she　was　depressed　and　withdrew　from　social　recognition

and　encouragement；　his　sympathy　and　respect　were　drawn　out　towards

her。



〃She　is　not　trivial　and　superficial；　as　I　supposed；〃　he　thought

twenty　times　that　morning。　　〃There　is　not　a　sudden　calm　after

the　storm　that　has　been　raging；　as　would　be　the　case　were　she　in

character　like　a　shallow　pool。　　Her　manner　now　proves　daily　the

largeness　of　the　nature　that　has　been　so　deeply　moved；　and　which；

like　the　agitated　sea；　regains　its　peace　but　slowly；〃　and　the　sagacious

Van　Berg；　whose　imagination　was　not　under　very　good　control　began

to　react　into　the　other　extreme；　and　query　whether　Ida　Mayhew's

moral　nature；　now　that　it　was　aroused；　was　not　her　chief　characteristic。



Meanwhile；　the　subject　of　his　many…colored　speculations　had　driven

away　in　the　low　basket　phaeton；　having　first　explained　briefly　to

her　mother　that　she　intended　to　spend　the　morning　again　with　the

two　old　people　she　had　visited　the　previous　day。



Stanton　volunteered　this　amount　of　information　to　his　friend；　and

there　was　much　surmise　and　curiosity　in　their　minds　in　regard　to

these　〃old　people；〃　and　her　motive　in　seeking　them。　　But　even　Mrs。

Mayhew　had　begun　to　realize　that　they　must　take　Ida　at　her　word

and　leave　her　to　herself。



It　was　with　something　even　more　than　hopefulness　that　Ida　drew　near

to　the　garden　again。　　She　was　alive；　that　fact；　in　contrast　with

what　might　have　been；　was　like　solid　ground　beneath　her　feet。　　Then；

again；　in　the　place　of　the　cold；　distant　manner　of　the　guests；　after

the　departure　of　Sibley；　she　had　already　noticed　friendly　glances

and　an　evident　disposition　to　make　amends。　　It　also　gave　her　not　a

little　satisfaction　that　her　cousin　and　the　artist　were　experiencing

such　sincere　compunctions；　and　were　realizing　the　enormity　of　their

offence。　　Ida　was　very　human；　and　always　would　be。　　She　was　also

a　little　elated　over　the　fact　that　she　had　been　able　to　tell　the

truth　the　evening　before。　　The　memory；　however；　that　nestled　most

warmly　in　her　heart　was　the　assertion　of　Van　Berg；　〃I　NEED　your

forgiveness。〃　　〃How　much　does　that　mean？〃　she　asked　herself　again

and　again。　　〃Does　he　really　wish　to　be　a　friend；　or　is　he　only

trying　to　smooth　over　matters　and　calm　me　down　so　he　can　leave　me

decorously；　as　after　our　hateful　episode　on　the　stage？〃



Her　wishes　colored　her　thoughts。　　〃He　spoke　too　earnestly　to　mean

so　little；〃　she　said　to　herself；　with　a　dreamy　smile　that　Van　Berg；

as　an　artist　merely；　would　have　given　much　to　see。



After　all；　perhaps　one　of　the　chief　causes　of　her　reviving　spirits

was　in　the　fact　she　was　young。　　She　could　not　take　a　very　sombre

view　of　life　that　fresh　summer　morning；　even　in　view　of　the　past　and

the　future；　and　her　manner　of　greeting　Mr。　Eltinge　and　of　telling

her　experiences　since　they　parted　suggested　to　him　that　she　was

gaining　in　self…complacency；　earthly　hope；　and　youthful　spirits；

rather　than　in　the　deep　and　lasting　peace　and　moral　strength　which

is　built　up　from　the　Living　Rock。　　She　was　finding　relief　from

depression　and　suffering　from　causes　as　transient　as　they　were

superficial。　　Chief　of　all；　she　had　not　realized　as　he　had　supposed

the　shadow　of　the　awful　crime　that　was　resting　upon　her；　and　the

need　of　God's　forgiveness。　　Almost　unconsciously　the　old　man；　wise

and　experienced　in　spiritual　life；　sighed　deeply　as　she　finished

her　story。



Her　quick　ear　caught　the　sigh；　and　her　woman's　intuition　gathered

from　his　face　that　the　outlook　did　not　seem　so　encouraging　to　him。

Her　heart　began　to　sink；　and　she　said　earnestly：



〃Mr。　Eltinge；　I've　tried　to　be　true；　I　want　you　to　be　faithful　to

me。　　Don't　hide　anything　from　me。〃



Yes；　my　child；〃　he　replied　gravely；　〃you　are　sincereyou　hide

nothing。　　I　think　I　understand　you。　　I　thank　God　he　gave　you　strength

last　night　to　tell　the　truth　under　very　trying　circumstances；　and

you　have　greatly　increased　my　respect　for　you　that　you　did　so。　　But；

to　use　a　little　figurative　language；　if　I　were　your　doctor　I　might

tell　you　that　you　don't　realize　how　sick　you　are　and　have　been。

There　have　been　some　encouraging　symptoms　and　circumstances；　and

your　spirits　and　hope　are　reviving；　and　you　are　looking　to　these

things　rather　than　to　him　who　taketh　away　the　sin　of　the　world。　　I

tried　to　encourage　you　yesterday；　my　child；　because　I　saw　you　were

deeply　depressed；　and　to　discourage　us　is　one　of　the　chief　aims

of　the　Evil　One。　　I　do　not　wish　to　discourage　you　to…dayfar　from

itbut　I　wish　to　realize　that　only　the　forgiveness　and　healing

touch　of　the　Son　of　God　are　equal　to　your　need。



〃My　child；〃　he　continued；　with　a　solemnity　that　made　her　grow　very

pale；　〃suppose　I　should　take　you　to　a　room　in　the　house　there；　show

you　a　fair　girl　with　eyes　that　should　look　for　her　duty　in　life

closed　forever；　and　the　hands　that　should　faithfully　and　bravely

do　it　paralyzed　in　death。　　Suppose　I　should　tell　you　that　I　had

given　her　a　poisonous　drug　the　night　before；　what　would　I　be？〃



〃A　murderer；〃　whispered　the　girl　with　eyes　dilated　with　fear　and

horror。



〃Yes；〃　said　the　old　man；　shaking　his　head　sadly；　〃I　would　have

destroyed　a　life　that　God　had　given；　and　destroyed　endless　chances

for　happiness　and　usefulness；　and　sent　a　poor　soul　to　judgement；

perhaps　unforgiven　and　unprepared。　　My　child；　it　cuts　me　to　the　heart

to　pain　you　so；　but　the　physician's　probe　must　go　to　the　depth　of

the　wound。　　It　is　no　kindness　to　the　patient　to　put　on　a　soothing

surface　application　and　leave　death　to　rankle　in　the　blood。　　We

have　no　reason　to　believe　that　in　the　eye　of　God　he　that　destroys

himself　is　any　the　less　guilty　than　he　that　kills　another；　and　even

in　the　judgment　of　man　it's　a　cowardly　flight　from　misfortunes　that

should　be　triumphed　over　with　courage　and　patience；　or　endured　with

fortitude　and　resignation。　　Mark　my　words；　it　is　only　a　flight；

not　an　escape；　for　every　evil　you　sought　to　shun　would　have　been

intensified　and　rendered　eternal。　　Now；　the　simple　truth　is；　we

hold　our　own　lives　in　trust　from　God；　to　be　used　according　to　his

will；　and　we　have　no　more　right　to　destroy　the　life　he　entrusts　to

us　than　the　life　he　gives　to　others。〃



Ida　had　buried　her　face　in　her　hands　and　was　trembling　violently。



〃I　did　not　realize　it　before；〃　she　murmured　in　a　low；　shuddering

tone。　　〃Oh；　what　shall　I　do？　　What　shall　I　do？　　Why　doesn't　the

earth　open　and　swallow　me　up？〃



The　old　man　came　to　her　side　again；　and　placing　his　right　hand

gently　on　her　bowed　head　and　holding　a　Bible　in　his　left；　continued

in　grave　by　very　gentle　tones：



〃Take　this　Book；　my　child；　it　will　tell　you　what　to　do。　　It　will

tell　you　that　merciful　and　all…powerful　arms　are　open　to　receive

you；　and　not　a　hopeless　grave。　　The　Son　of　God　has　said　to　the　heavy

laden；　'Come　unto　me；'　and　'whosoever　cometh　I　will　in　nowise　cast

out。'　Heaven　is　full；　my　child；　of　just　such　guilty　souls　as　yours；

but　it　was　HE　who　saved　them。　　It　was　His　precious　blood　that　washed

them　whiter　than　snow。　　When　you　seek　for　forgiveness　and　healing

at　His　feet　all　will　be　well；　but　not　till　then；　and　not　elsewhere。〃



〃O；　Mr。　Eltinge；〃　she　sobbed；　〃you　have　pierced　my　heart　as　with

a　sword。〃



〃I　have；　indeed；　my　poor　childwith　the　sword　of　truth；　and　what's

more；　I　can't　heal　the　wound　I've　made。〃



〃What　shall　I　do？　oh；　what　shall　I　do？〃　and　she　fairly　writhed　in

the　agony　of　her　remorse。



〃'Behold　the　Lamb　of　God；　that　taketh　away　the　sin　of　the　world；'〃

he　said　gently　but　firmly；　and　his　strong　faith　and　the　words　of

Holy　Writ　were　like　a　rock；　at　which；　from　out　of　the　overwhelming

torrent　of　her　remorseful　despair；　she　grasped　as　her　one　chance；

her　one　hope。



Lifting　her　streaming　eyes　to　heaven；　and　clasping　her　hands；　she

cried　passionately：



〃O　Christ；　hope　of　the　sinful；　if　there　is　mercy　for　such　as　I；

forgive