he said deliberately； 〃and feed it to the chickens。 I'm beating it。〃
〃What d'you mean； you're beating it？〃
〃What do you suppose I mean？〃 he demanded。 〃What do you
suppose I'm doing out of uniform； what do you suppose I'm lying
low in the room for？ So's I won't catch cold？〃
〃If you're leaving the army without a discharge； and without
permission；〃 I said； 〃I suppose you know it's desertion。〃
Mr。 Hamlin laughed easily。 〃It's not my army；〃 he said。 〃I'm an
American。〃
〃It's your desertion；〃 I suggested。
The door opened and closed noiselessly； and Billy； entering；
placed a new travelling bag on the floor。 He must have heard my
last words； for he looked inquiringly at each of us。 But he did
not speak and； walking to the window； stood with his hands in his
pockets； staring out at the harbor。 His presence seemed to encourage
the young man。 〃Who knows I'm deserting？〃 he demanded。 〃No
one's ever seen me in Salonika before； and in these 'cits' I can get on
board all right。 And then they can't touch me。 What do the folks at
home care how I left the British army？ They'll be so darned glad to
get me back alive that they won't ask if I walked out or was kicked
out。 I should worry！〃
〃It's none of my business；〃 I began； but I was interrupted。 In
his restless pacings the young man turned quickly。
〃As you say；〃 he remarked icily； 〃it is none of your business。
It's none of your business whether I get shot as a deserter； or
go home； or〃
〃You can go to the devil for all I care；〃 I assured him。 〃I
wasn't considering you at all。 I was only sorry that I'll never
be able to read your book。〃
For a moment Mr。 Hamlin remained silent； then he burst forth
with a jeer。
〃No British firing squad；〃 he boasted； 〃will ever stand me up。〃
〃Maybe not；〃 I agreed； 〃but you will never write that book。〃
Again there was silence； and this time it was broken by the Kid。
He turned from the window and looked toward Hamlin。 〃That's
right！〃 he said。
He sat down on the edge of the table； and at the deserter pointed
his forefinger。
〃Son；〃 he said； 〃this war is some war。 It's the biggest war in
history； and folks will be talking about nothing else for the next
ninety years； folks that never were nearer it than Bay City； Mich。
But you won't talk about it。 And you've been all through it。
You've been to hell and back again。 Compared with what you
know about hell； Dante is in the same class with Dr。 Cook。 But
you won't be able to talk about this war； or lecture； or write a
book about it。〃
〃I won't？〃 demanded Hamlin。 〃And why won't I？〃
〃Because of what you're doing now；〃 said Billy。 〃Because
you're queering yourself。 Now； you've got everything。〃 The
Kid was very much in earnest。 His tone was intimate； kind； and
friendly。 〃You've seen everything； done everything。 We'd give
our eye…teeth to see what you've seen； and to write the things you
can write。 You've got a record now that'll last you until you're
dead； and your grandchildren are dead…and then some。 When
you talk the table will have to sit up and listen。 You can say 'I
was there。' 'I was in it。' 'I saw。' 'I know。' When this war is
over you'll have everything out of it that's worth getting…all
the experiences； all the inside knowledge； all the 'nosebag'
news； you'll have wounds； honors； medals； money； reputation。
And you're throwing all that away！〃
Mr。 Hamlin interrupted savagely。
〃To hell with their medals；〃 he said。 〃They can take their medals
and hang 'em on Christmas trees。 I don't owe the British army
anything。 It owes me。 I've done my bit。 I've earned what I've
got； and there's no one can take it away from me。〃
〃You can；〃 said the Kid。 Before Hamlin could reply the door
opened and John came in； followed by Uncle Jim。 The older
man was looking very grave； and John very unhappy。 Hamlin
turned quickly to John。
〃I thought these men were friends of yours；〃 he began； 〃and
Americans。 They're fine Americans。 They're as full of human
kindness and red blood as a kippered herring！〃
John looked inquiringly at the Kid。
〃He wants to hang himself；〃 explained Billy； 〃and because we
tried to cut him down； he's sore。〃
〃They talked to me；〃 protested Hamlin； 〃as though I was a
yellow dog。 As though I was a quitter。 I'm no quitter！ But；
if I'm ready to quit； who's got a better right？ I'm not an
Englishman； but there are several million Englishmen haven't
done as much for England in this was as I have。 What do you
fellows know about it？ You write about it； about the 'brave
lads in the trenches'； but what do you know about the trenches？
What you've seen from automobiles。 That's all。 That's where
you get off！ I've lived in the trenches for fifteen months； froze
in 'em； starved in 'em； risked my life in 'em； and I've saved other
lives； too； by hauling men out of the trenches。 And that's no airy
persiflage； either！〃
He ran to the wardrobe where John's clothes hung； and from the
bottom of it dragged a khaki uniform。 It was still so caked with
mud and snow that when he flung it on the floor it splashed like
a wet bathing suit。 〃How would you like to wear one of those？〃 he
Demanded。 〃Stinking with lice and sweat and blood； the blood of
other men； the men you've helped off the field； and your own
blood。〃
As though committing hara…kiri； he slashed his hand across his
stomach； and then drew it up from his waist to his chin。 〃I'm
scraped with shrapnel from there to there；〃 said Mr。 Hamlin。
〃And another time I got a ball in the shoulder。 That would have
been a 'blighty' for a fighting manthey're always giving them
leavebut all I got was six weeks at Havre in hospital。 Then it
was the Dardanelles； and sunstroke and sand； sleeping in sand；
eating sand； sand in your boots； sand in your teeth； hiding in
holes in the sand like a dirty prairie dog。 And then； 'Off to
Servia！' And the next act opens in the snow and the mud！
Cold？ God； how cold it was！ And most of us in sun helmets。〃
As though the cold still gnawed at his bones； he shivered。
〃It isn't the danger；〃 he protested。 〃It isn't that I'm getting
away from。 To hell with the danger！ It's just the plain
discomfort of it！ It's the never being your own master； never
being clean； never being warm。〃 Again he shivered and
rubbed one hand against the other。 〃There were no bridges
over the streams；〃 he went on； 〃and we had to break the ice
and wade in； and then sleep in the open with the khaki frozen
to us。 There was no firewood； not enough to warm a pot of tea。
There were no wounded； all our casualties were frost bite and
Pneumonia。 When we take them out of the blankets their toes
fall off。 We've been in camp for a month now near Doiran； and
it's worse there than on the march。 It's a frozen swamp。 You can't
sleep for the cold； can't eat； the only ration we get is bully beef；
and our insides are frozen so damn tight we can't digest it。 The
cold gets into your blood； gets into your brains。 It won't let you
think； or else； you think crazy things。 It makes you afraid。〃 He
shook himself like a man coming out of a bad dream。
So； I'm through；〃 he said。 In turn he scowled at each of us； as
though defying us to contradict him。 〃That's why I'm quitting；〃
he added。 〃Because I've done my bit。 Because I'm damn well fed
up on it。〃 He kicked viciously at the water…logged uniform on the
floor。 〃Any one who wants my job can have it！〃 He walked to the
window； turned his back on us； and fixed his eyes hungrily on the
Adriaticus。 There was a long pause。 For guidance we looked at
John； but he was staring down at the desk blotter； scratching on it
marks that he did not see。
Finally； where angels feared to tread； the Kid rushed in。 〃That's
certainly a hard luck story；〃 he said； 〃but；〃 he added cheerfully；
〃it's nothing to the hard luck you'll strike when you can't tell
why you left the army。〃 Hamlin turned with an exclamation；
but Billy held up his hand。 〃Now wait；〃 he begged； 〃we haven't
time to get mussy。 At six o'clock your leave is up； and the troop
train starts back to camp； and〃
Mr。 Hamlin interrupted sharply。 〃And the Adriaticus starts at
five。〃
Billy did not heed him。 〃You've got two hours to change your
mind；〃 he said。 〃That's better than being sorry you didn't the
rest of your life。〃
Mr。 Hamlin threw back his head and laughed。 It was a most
unpleasant laugh。 〃You're a fine body of men；〃 he jeered。
〃America must be proud of you！〃
〃If we weren't Americans；〃 explained Billy patiently； 〃we
wouldn't give a damn whether you deserted or not。 You're
drowning and you don't know it； and we're throwing you a
rope。 Try to see it that way。 We'll cut out the fact that you
took an oath； and that you're breaking it。 That's up to you。
We'll get down to results。 When you reach home； if you can't
tell why you left the army； the folks will darned soon guess。
And that will queer everything you've done。 When you come
to sell your stuff； it will queer you with the editors； queer you
with the publishers。 If they know you broke your word to the
British army； how can they know you're keeping faith with them？
How can they believe anything you tell them？ Every 'story' you
write； every statement of yours will make a noise like a fake。
You won't come into court with clean hands。 You'll be licked
before you start。
〃Of course； you're for the Allies。 Well； all the Germans at home
will fear that； and when you want to lecture on your 'Fifteen
Months at the British Front；' they'll look up your record； and
what will they do to you？ This is what they'll do to you。 When
you've shown 'em your moving pictures and say； 'Does any
gentleman in the audience want to ask a question？' a German
agent will get up and say； 'Yes； I want to ask a question。 Is it
true that you deserted from the British army； and that if you
return to it； they will shoot you？'〃
I was scared。 I expected the lean and muscular Mr。 Hamlin to
fall on Billy； and fling him where he had flung the soggy uniform。
But instead he remained motionless； his arms pressed across his
chest。 His eyes； filled with anger and distress； returned to the
Adriaticus。
〃I'm sorry；〃 muttered the Kid。