charlotte temple- 第14部分

lumber　which　greatly　refreshed　her；　and　she　arose　in　the　morning　with　spirits　more　adequate　to　the　painful　task　she　had　to　perform；　and；　after　several　attempts；　at　length　concluded　the　following　letter　to　her　mother　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　TO　MRS。　TEMPLE。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　NEW…YORK。　〃Will　my　once　kind；　my　ever　beloved　mother；　deign　to　receive　a　letter　from　her　guilty；　but　repentant　child？　or　has　she；　justly　incensed　at　my　ingratitude；　driven　the　unhappy　Charlotte　from　her　remembrance？　Alas！　thou　much　injured　mother！　shouldst　thou　even　disown　me；　I　dare　not　complain；　because　I　know　I　have　deserved　it：　　but　yet；　believe　me；　guilty　as　I　am；　and　cruelly　as　I　have　disappointed　the　hopes　of　the　fondest　parents；　that　ever　girl　had；　even　in　the　moment　when；　forgetful　of　my　duty；　I　fled　from　you　and　happiness；　even　then　I　loved　you　most；　and　my　heart　bled　at　the　thought　of　what　you　would　suffer。　Oh！　never；　never！　whilst　I　have　existence；　will　the　agony　of　that　moment　be　erased　from　my　memory。　　It　seemed　like　the　separation　of　soul　and　body。　What　can　I　plead　in　excuse　for　my　conduct？　alas！　nothing！　That　I　loved　my　seducer　is　but　too　true！　yet　powerful　as　that　passion　is　when　operating　in　a　young　heart　glowing　with　sensibility；　it　never　would　have　conquered　my　affection　to　you；　my　beloved　parents；　had　I　not　been　encouraged；　nay；　urged　to　take　the　fatally　imprudent　step；　by　one　of　my　own　sex；　who；　under　the　mask　of　friendship；　drew　me　on　to　ruin。　　Yet　think　not　your　Charlotte　was　so　lost　as　to　voluntarily　rush　into　a　life　of　infamy；　no；　my　dear　mother；　deceived　by　the　specious　appearance　of　my　betrayer；　and　every　suspicion　lulled　asleep　by　the　most　solemn　promises　of　marriage；　I　thought　not　those　promises　would　so　easily　be　forgotten。　I　never　once　reflected　that　the　man　who　could　stoop　to　seduction；　would　not　hesitate　to　forsake　the　wretched　object　of　his　passion；　whenever　his　capricious　heart　grew　weary　of　her　tenderness。　When　we　arrived　at　this　place；　I　vainly　expected　him　to　fulfil　his　engagements；　but　was　at　last　fatally　convinced　he　had　never　intended　to　make　me　his　wife；　or　if　he　had　once　thought　of　it；　his　mind　was　now　altered。　　I　scorned　to　claim　from　his　humanity　what　I　could　not　obtain　from　his　love：　　I　was　conscious　of　having　forfeited　the　only　gem　that　could　render　me　respectable　in　the　eye　of　the　world。　I　locked　my　sorrows　in　my　own　bosom；　and　bore　my　injuries　in　silence。　But　how　shall　I　proceed？　　This　man；　this　cruel　Montraville；　for　whom　I　sacrificed　honour；　happiness；　and　the　love　of　my　friends；　no　longer　looks　on　me　with　affection；　but　scorns　the　credulous　girl　whom　his　art　has　made　miserable。　　Could　you　see　me；　my　dear　parents；　without　society；　without　friends；　stung　with　remorse；　and　（I　feel　the　burning　blush　of　shame　die　my　cheeks　while　I　write　it）　tortured　with　the　pangs　of　disappointed　love；　cut　to　the　soul　by　the　indifference　of　him；　who；　having　deprived　me　of　every　other　comfort；　no　longer　thinks　it　worth　his　while　to　sooth　the　heart　where　he　has　planted　the　thorn　of　never…ceasing　regret。　My　daily　employment　is　to　think　of　you　and　weep；　to　pray　for　your　happiness　and　deplore　my　own　folly：　　my　nights　are　scarce　more　happy；　for　if　by　chance　I　close　my　weary　eyes；　and　hope　some　small　forgetfulness　of　sorrow；　some　little　time　to　pass　in　sweet　oblivion；　fancy；　still　waking；　wafts　me　home　to　you：　　I　see　your　beloved　forms；　I　kneel　and　hear　the　blessed　words　of　peace　and　pardon。　Extatic　joy　pervades　my　soul；　I　reach　my　arms　to　catch　your　dear　embraces；　the　motion　chases　the　illusive　dream；　I　wake　to　real　misery。　At　other　times　I　see　my　father　angry　and　frowning；　point　to　horrid　caves；　where；　on　the　cold　damp　ground；　in　the　agonies　of　death；　I　see　my　dear　mother　and　my　revered　grand…father。　I　strive　to　raise　you；　you　push　me　from　you；　and　shrieking　cry〃Charlotte；　thou　hast　murdered　me！〃　　Horror　and　despair　tear　every　tortured　nerve；　I　start；　and　leave　my　restless　bed；　weary　and　unrefreshed。　〃Shocking　as　these　reflexions　are；　I　have　yet　one　more　dreadful　than　the　rest。　　Mother；　my　dear　mother！　do　not　let　me　quite　break　your　heart　when　I　tell　you；　in　a　few　months　I　shall　bring　into　the　world　an　innocent　witness　of　my　guilt。　Oh　my　bleeding　heart；　I　shall　bring　a　poor　little　helpless　creature；　heir　to　infamy　and　shame。　〃This　alone　has　urged　me　once　more　to　address　you；　to　interest　you　in　behalf　of　this　poor　unborn；　and　beg　you　to　extend　your　protection　to　the　child　of　your　lost　Charlotte；　for　my　own　part　I　have　wrote　so　often；　so　frequently　have　pleaded　for　forgiveness；　and　entreated　to　be　received　once　more　beneath　the　paternal　roof；　that　having　received　no　answer；　not　even　one　line；　I　much　fear　you　have　cast　me　from　you　for　ever。　〃But　sure　you　cannot　refuse　to　protect　my　innocent　infant：　it　partakes　not　of　its　mother's　guilt。　　Oh　my　father；　oh　beloved　mother；　now　do　I　feel　the　anguish　I　inflicted　on　your　hearts　recoiling　with　double　force　upon　my　own。　〃If　my　child　should　be　a　girl　（which　heaven　forbid）　tell　her　the　unhappy　fate　of　her　mother；　and　teach　her　to　avoid　my　errors；　if　a　boy；　teach　him　to　lament　my　miseries；　but　tell　him　not　who　inflicted　them；　lest　in　wishing　to　revenge　his　mother's　injuries；　he　should　wound　the　peace　of　his　father。　〃And　now；　dear　friends　of　my　soul；　kind　guardians　of　my　infancy；　farewell。　I　feel　I　never　more　must　hope　to　see　you；　the　anguish　of　my　heart　strikes　at　the　strings　of　life；　and　in　a　short　time　I　shall　be　at　rest。　Oh　could　I　but　receive　your　blessing　and　forgiveness　before　I　died；　it　would　smooth　my　passage　to　the　peaceful　grave；　and　be　a　blessed　foretaste　of　a　happy　eternity。　　I　beseech　you；　curse　me　not；　my　adored　parents；　but　let　a　tear　of　pity　and　pardon　fall　to　the　memory　of　your　lost　CHARLOTTE。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　CHAPTER　XXIII。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　A　MAN　MAY　SMILE；　AND　SMILE；　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　AND　BE　A　VILLAIN。　WHILE　Charlotte　was　enjoying　some　small　degree　of　comfort　in　the　consoling　friendship　of　Mrs。　Beauchamp；　Montraville　was　advancing　rapidly　in　his　affection　towards　Miss　Franklin。　Julia　was　an　amiable　girl；　she　saw　only　the　fair　side　of　his　character；　she　possessed　an　independent　fortune；　and　resolved　to　be　happy　with　the　man　of　her　heart；　though　his　rank　and　fortune　were　by　no　means　so　exalted　as　she　had　a　right　to　expect；　she　saw　the　passion　which　Montraville　struggled　to　conceal；　she　wondered　at　his　timidity；　but　imagined　the　distance　fortune　had　placed　between　them　occasioned　his　backwardness；　and　made　every　advance　which　strict　prudence　and　a　becoming　modesty　would　permit。　　Montraville　saw　with　pleasure　he　was　not　indifferent　to　her；　but　a　spark　of　honour　which　animated　his　bosom　would　not　suffer　him　to　take　advantage　of　her　partiality。　He　was　well　acquainted　with　Charlotte's　situation；　and　he　thought　there　would　be　a　double　cruelty　in　forsaking　her　at　such　a　time；　and　to　marry　Miss　Franklin；　while　honour；　humanity；　every　sacred　law；　obliged　him　still　to　protect　and　support　Charlotte；　was　a　baseness　which　his　soul　shuddered　at。　He　communicated　his　uneasiness　to　Belcour：　　it　was　the　very　thing　this　pretended　friend　had　wished。　　〃And　do　you　really；〃　said　he；　laughing；　〃hesitate　at　marrying　the　lovely　Julia；　and　becoming　master　of　her　fortune；　because　a　little　foolish；　fond　girl　chose　to　leave　her　friends；　and　run　away　with　you　to　America。　Dear　Montraville；　act　more　like　a　man　of　sense；　this　whining；　pining　Charlotte；　who　occasions　you　so　much　uneasiness；　would　have　eloped　with　somebody　else　if　she　had　not　with　you。〃　〃Would　to　heaven；〃　said　Montraville；　〃I　had　never　seen　her；　my　regard　for　her　was　but　the　momentary　passion　of　desire；　but　I　feel　I　shall　love　and　revere　Julia　Franklin　as　long　as　I　live；　yet　to　leave　poor　Charlotte　in　her　present　situation　would　be　cruel　beyond　description。〃　〃Oh　my　good　sentimental　friend；〃　said　Belcour；　〃do　you　imagine　no　body　has　a　right　to　provide　for　the　brat　but　yourself。〃　Montraville　started。　　〃Sure；〃　said　he；　〃you　cannot　mean　to　insinuate　that　Charlotte　is　false。〃　〃I　don't　insinuate　it；〃　said　Belcour；　〃I　know　it。〃　Montraville　turned　pale　as　ashes。　　〃Then　there　is　no　faith　in　woman；〃　said　he。　〃While　I　thought　you　attached　to　her；〃　said　Belcour　with　an　air　of　indifference；　〃I　never　wished　to　make　you　uneasy　by　mentioning　her　perfidy；　but　as　I　know　you　love　and　are　beloved　by　Miss　Franklin；　I　was　determined　not　to　let　these　foolish　scruples　of　honour　step　between　you　and　happiness；　or　your　tenderness　for　the　peace　of　a　perfidious　girl　prevent　your　uniting　yourself　to　a　woman　of　honour。〃　〃Good　heavens！〃　said　Montraville；　〃what　poignant　reflections　does　a　man　endure　who　sees　a　lovely　woman　plunged　in　infamy；　and　is　conscious　he　was　her　first　seducer；　but　are　you　certain　of　what　you　say；　Belcour？〃　〃So　far；〃　replied　he；　〃that　I　myself　have　received　advances　from　her　which　I　would　not　take　advantage　of　out　of　regard　to　you：　but　hang　it；　think　no　more　about　her。　　I　dined　at　Franklin's　to…day；　and　Julia　bid　me　seek　and　bring　you　to　tea：　　so　come　along；　my　lad；　make　good　use　of　opportunity；　and　seize　the　gifts　of　fortune　while　they　are　within　your　reach。〃　　Montraville　was　too　much　agitated　to　pass　a　happy　evening　even　in　the　company　of　Julia　Franklin：　he　determined　to　visit　Charlotte　early　the　next　morning；　tax　her　with　her　falsehood；　and　take　an　everlasting　leave　of　her；　but　when　the　morning　came；　he　was　commanded　on　duty；　and　for　six　weeks　was　prevented　from　putting　his　design　in　execution。　　At　length　he　found　an　hour　to　spare；　and　walked　out　to　spend　it　with　Charlotte：　it　was　near　four　o'clock　in　the　afternoon　when　he　arrived　at　her　cottage；　she　was　not　in　the　parlour；　and　without　calling　the　servant　he　walked　up　stairs；　thinking　to　find　her　in　her　bed　room。　He　opened　the　door；　and　the　first　object　that　met　his　eyes　was　Charlotte　asleep　on　the　bed；　and　Belcour　by　her　side。　〃Death　and　distraction；〃　said　he；　stamping；　〃this　is　too　much。　Rise；　villain；　and　defend　yourself。〃　　Belcour　sprang　from　the　bed。　The　noise　awoke　Charlotte；　terrified　at　the　furious　appearance　of　Montraville；　and　seeing　Belcour　with　him　in　the　chamber；　she　caught　hold　of　his　arm　as　he　stood　by　the　bed…side；　and　eagerly　asked　what　was　the　matter。　〃Treacherous；　infamous　girl；〃　said　he；　〃can　you　ask？　　How　came　he　here？〃　pointing　to　Belcour。　〃As　heave