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his¡¡red¡¡face¡¡and¡¡gray¡¡mustache£»¡¡and¡¡his¡¡tight¡¡dress

coat£»¡¡that¡¡made¡¡the¡¡back¡¡of¡¡his¡¡neck¡¡roll¡¡up¡¡just

like¡¡a¡¡successful¡¡novelist's¡£



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the¡¡most¡¡glittering¡¡part¡¡of¡¡Broadway£»¡¡which£»¡¡as

every¡¡one¡¡knows£»¡¡is¡¡one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡most¡¡popular¡¡and

widely¡¡patronized£»¡¡jealously¡¡exclusive¡¡Bohemian¡¡re¡­

sorts¡¡in¡¡the¡¡city¡£



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once¡¡when¡¡she¡¡trippeth¡¡to¡¡the¡¡altar£»¡¡once¡¡when¡¡she

first¡¡enters¡¡Bohemian¡¡halls£»¡¡the¡¡last¡¡when¡¡she¡¡marches

back¡¡across¡¡her¡¡first¡¡garden¡¡with¡¡the¡¡dead¡¡hen¡¡of¡¡her

neighbor¡¡in¡¡her¡¡band¡£



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glass¡¡shone¡¡upon¡¡it¡£¡¡¡¡And£»¡¡preliminary¡¡to¡¡the¡¡meal£»

as¡¡the¡¡prehistoric¡¡granite¡¡strata¡¡heralded¡¡the¡¡pro¡­

tozoa£»¡¡the¡¡bread¡¡of¡¡Gaul£»¡¡compounded¡¡after¡¡the¡¡for¡­

mula¡¡of¡¡the¡¡recipe¡¡for¡¡the¡¡eternal¡¡bills£»¡¡was¡¡there¡¡set

forth¡¡to¡¡the¡¡hand¡¡and¡¡tooth¡¡of¡¡a¡¡long¡­suffering¡¡city£»

while¡¡the¡¡gods¡¡lay¡¡beside¡¡their¡¡nectar¡¡and¡¡home¡­made

biscuits¡¡and¡¡smiled£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡dentists¡¡leaped¡¡for¡¡joy

in¡¡their¡¡gold¡­leafy¡¡dens¡£



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the¡¡look¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Basilisk£»¡¡the¡¡shine¡¡of¡¡a¡¡bubble¡¡of

Wurzburger£»¡¡the¡¡inspiration¡¡of¡¡genius¡¡and¡¡the¡¡plead¡­

ing¡¡of¡¡a¡¡panhandler¡£



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old¡¡boy£¡¡¡¡¡be¡¡shouted¡£¡¡¡¨Don't¡¡tell¡¡me¡¡you¡¡were¡¡go¡­

ing¡¡to¡¡pass¡¡our¡¡table¡£¡¡¡¡Join¡¡us¡¡¡¡unless¡¡you've¡¡an¡­

other¡¡crowd¡¡on¡¡hand¡£¡¨



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stall¡£¡¡¡¡¡¨You¡¡know¡¡how¡¡I¡¡like¡¡to¡¡butt¡¡up¡¡against¡¡the

fine¡¡arts¡£¡¡¡¡Mr¡£¡¡Vandyke¡¡¡¡Mr¡£¡¡Madder¡¡¡¡er¡¡

Miss¡¡Martin£»¡¡one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡elect¡¡also¡¡in¡¡art¡¡¡¡er¡¡¡¡¡¨



The¡¡introduction¡¡went¡¡around¡£¡¡¡¡There¡¡were¡¡also

Miss¡¡Elise¡¡and¡¡Miss¡¡'Toinette¡£¡¡¡¡Perhaps¡¡they¡¡were

models£»¡¡for¡¡they¡¡chattered¡¡of¡¡the¡¡St¡£¡¡Regis¡¡decora¡­

tions¡¡and¡¡Henry¡¡James¡¡¡¡and¡¡they¡¡did¡¡it¡¡not¡¡badly¡£



Medora¡¡sat¡¡in¡¡transport¡£¡¡¡¡Music¡¡¡¡wild£»¡¡intoxi¡­

eating¡¡music¡¡made¡¡by¡¡troubadours¡¡direct¡¡from¡¡a¡¡rear

basement¡¡room¡¡in¡¡Elysium¡¡¡¡set¡¡her¡¡thoughts¡¡to

dancing¡£¡¡¡¡Here¡¡was¡¡a¡¡world¡¡never¡¡before¡¡penetrated

by¡¡her¡¡warmest¡¡imagination¡¡or¡¡any¡¡of¡¡the¡¡lines¡¡con¡­

trolled¡¡by¡¡Harriman¡£¡¡¡¡With¡¡the¡¡Green¡¡Mountains'

external¡¡calm¡¡upon¡¡her¡¡she¡¡sat£»¡¡her¡¡soul¡¡flaming¡¡in

her¡¡with¡¡the¡¡fire¡¡of¡¡Andalusia¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡tables¡¡were¡¡filled

with¡¡Bohemia¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡room¡¡was¡¡full¡¡of¡¡the¡¡fragrance

of¡¡flowers¡¡¡¡both¡¡mille¡¡and¡¡cauli¡£¡¡¡¡Questions¡¡and

corks¡¡popped£»¡¡laughter¡¡and¡¡silver¡¡rang£»¡¡champagne

flashed¡¡in¡¡the¡¡pail£»¡¡wit¡¡flashed¡¡in¡¡the¡¡pan¡£



Vandyke¡¡ruffled¡¡his¡¡long£»¡¡black¡¡locks£»¡¡disarranged

his¡¡careless¡¡tie¡¡and¡¡leaned¡¡over¡¡to¡¡Madder¡£



¡¨Say£»¡¡Maddy£»¡¨¡¡he¡¡whispered£»¡¡feelingly£»¡¡¡¨some¡­

times¡¡I'm¡¡tempted¡¡to¡¡pay¡¡this¡¡Philistine¡¡his¡¡ten¡¡dol¡­

lars¡¡and¡¡get¡¡rid¡¡of¡¡him¡£¡¨



Madder¡¡ruffled¡¡his¡¡long£»¡¡sandy¡¡locks¡¡and¡¡disar¡­

ranged¡¡his¡¡careless¡¡tie¡£



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short£»¡¡and¡¡Art¡¡is¡¡long¡£¡¨

Medora¡¡ate¡¡strange¡¡viands¡¡and¡¡drank¡¡elderberry

wine¡¡that¡¡they¡¡poured¡¡in¡¡her¡¡glass¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡was¡¡just¡¡the

color¡¡of¡¡that¡¡in¡¡the¡¡Vermont¡¡home¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡waiter

poured¡¡something¡¡in¡¡another¡¡glass¡¡that¡¡seemed¡¡to

be¡¡boiling£»¡¡but¡¡when¡¡she¡¡tasted¡¡it¡¡it¡¡was¡¡not¡¡hot¡£

She¡¡had¡¡never¡¡felt¡¡so¡¡light¡­hearted¡¡before¡£¡¡¡¡She

thought¡¡lovingly¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Green¡¡Mountain¡¡farm¡¡and¡¡its

fauna¡£¡¡¡¡She¡¡leaned£»¡¡smiling£»¡¡to¡¡Miss¡¡Elise¡£



¡¨If¡¡I¡¡were¡¡at¡¡home£»¡¨¡¡she¡¡said£»¡¡beamingly£»¡¡¡¨I

could¡¡show¡¡you¡¡the¡¡cutest¡¡little¡¡calf£¡¡¡¡¨



¡¨Nothing¡¡for¡¡you¡¡in¡¡the¡¡White¡¡Lane£»¡¨¡¡said¡¡Miss

Elise¡£¡¡¡¡¡¨Why¡¡don't¡¡you¡¡pad£¿



The¡¡orchestra¡¡played¡¡a¡¡wailing¡¡waltz¡¡that¡¡Medora

had¡¡learned¡¡from¡¡the¡¡hand¡­organs¡£¡¡¡¡She¡¡followed

the¡¡air¡¡with¡¡nodding¡¡head¡¡in¡¡a¡¡sweet¡¡soprano¡¡hum¡£

Madder¡¡looked¡¡across¡¡the¡¡table¡¡at¡¡her£»¡¡and¡¡wondered

in¡¡what¡¡strange¡¡waters¡¡Binkley¡¡had¡¡caught¡¡her¡¡in

his¡¡seine¡£¡¡¡¡She¡¡smiled¡¡at¡¡him£»¡¡and¡¡they¡¡raised¡¡glasses

and¡¡drank¡¡of¡¡the¡¡wine¡¡that¡¡boiled¡¡when¡¡it¡¡was¡¡cold¡£

Binkley¡¡had¡¡abandoned¡¡art¡¡and¡¡was¡¡prating¡¡of¡¡the

unusual¡¡spring¡¡catch¡¡of¡¡shad¡£¡¡¡¡Miss¡¡Elise¡¡arranged

the¡¡palette¡­and¡­maul¡­stick¡¡tie¡¡pin¡¡of¡¡Mr¡£¡¡Vandyke¡£

A¡¡Philistine¡¡at¡¡some¡¡distant¡¡table¡¡was¡¡maundering

volubly¡¡either¡¡about¡¡Jerome¡¡or¡¡Gerome¡£¡¡¡¡A¡¡famous

actress¡¡was¡¡discoursing¡¡excitably¡¡about¡¡monogrammed

hosiery¡£¡¡¡¡A¡¡hose¡¡clerk¡¡from¡¡a¡¡department¡¡store¡¡was

loudly¡¡proclaiming¡¡his¡¡opinions¡¡of¡¡the¡¡drama¡£¡¡¡¡A

writer¡¡was¡¡abusing¡¡Dickens¡£¡¡¡¡A¡¡magazine¡¡editor¡¡and

a¡¡photographer¡¡were¡¡drinking¡¡a¡¡dry¡¡brand¡¡at¡¡a¡¡re¡­

served¡¡table¡£¡¡¡¡A¡¡36¡­25¡­42¡¡young¡¡lady¡¡was¡¡saying¡¡to

an¡¡eminent¡¡sculptor£º¡¡¡¨Fudge¡¡for¡¡your¡¡Prax¡¡Italys£¡

Bring¡¡one¡¡of¡¡your¡¡Venus¡¡Anno¡¡Dominis¡¡down¡¡to

Cohen's¡¡and¡¡see¡¡bow¡¡quick¡¡she'd¡¡be¡¡turned¡¡down¡¡for

a¡¡cloak¡¡model¡£¡¡¡¡Back¡¡to¡¡the¡¡quarries¡¡with¡¡your

Greeks¡¡and¡¡Dagos£¡¡¨



Thus¡¡went¡¡Bohemia¡£



At¡¡eleven¡¡Mr¡£¡¡Binkley¡¡took¡¡Medora¡¡to¡¡the¡¡board¡­

ing¡­bouse¡¡and¡¡left¡¡her£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡society¡¡bow£»¡¡at¡¡the¡¡foot

of¡¡the¡¡hall¡¡stairs¡£¡¡¡¡She¡¡went¡¡up¡¡to¡¡her¡¡room¡¡and¡¡lit

the¡¡gas¡£



And¡¡then£»¡¡as¡¡suddenly¡¡as¡¡the¡¡dreadful¡¡genie¡¡arose

in¡¡vapor¡¡from¡¡the¡¡copper¡¡vase¡¡of¡¡the¡¡fisherman£»

arose¡¡in¡¡that¡¡room¡¡the¡¡formidable¡¡shape¡¡of¡¡the¡¡New

England¡¡Conscience¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡terrible¡¡thing¡¡that

Medora¡¡had¡¡done¡¡was¡¡revealed¡¡to¡¡her¡¡in¡¡its¡¡full

enormity¡£¡¡¡¡She¡¡had¡¡sat¡¡in¡¡the¡¡presence¡¡of¡¡the¡¡un¡­

godly¡¡and¡¡looked¡¡upon¡¡the¡¡wine¡¡both¡¡when¡¡it¡¡was¡¡red

and¡¡effervescent¡£



At¡¡midnight¡¡she¡¡wrote¡¡this¡¡letter£º



¡¨Mr¡£¡¡BERLAH¡¡HOSKINS£»¡¡Harmony£»¡¡Vermont¡£



¡¨Dear¡¡Sir£º¡¡Henceforth£»¡¡consider¡¡me¡¡as¡¡dead¡¡to

you¡¡forever¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡have¡¡loved¡¡you¡¡too¡¡well¡¡to¡¡blight¡¡your

career¡¡by¡¡bringing¡¡into¡¡it¡¡my¡¡guilty¡¡and¡¡sin¡­stained

life¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡have¡¡succumbed¡¡to¡¡the¡¡insidious¡¡wiles¡¡of¡¡this

wicked¡¡world¡¡and¡¡have¡¡been¡¡drawn¡¡into¡¡the¡¡vortex¡¡of

Bohemia¡£¡¡¡¡There¡¡is¡¡scarcely¡¡any¡¡depth¡¡of¡¡glittering

iniquity¡¡that¡¡I¡¡have¡¡not¡¡sounded¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡is¡¡hopeless¡¡to

combat¡¡my¡¡decision¡£¡¡¡¡There¡¡is¡¡no¡¡rising¡¡from¡¡the

depths¡¡to¡¡which¡¡I¡¡have¡¡sunk¡£¡¡¡¡Endeavor¡¡to¡¡forget

me¡£¡¡I¡¡am¡¡lost¡¡forever¡¡in¡¡the¡¡fair¡¡but¡¡brutal¡¡maze¡¡of

awful¡¡Bohemia¡£¡¡¡¡Farewell¡£



¡¨ONCE¡¡YOUR¡¡MEDORA¡£¡¨





On¡¡the¡¡next¡¡day¡¡Medora¡¡formed¡¡her¡¡resolutions¡£

Beelzebub£»¡¡flung¡¡from¡¡heaven£»¡¡was¡¡no¡¡more¡¡cast¡¡down¡£

Between¡¡her¡¡and¡¡the¡¡apple¡¡blossoms¡¡of¡¡Harmony

there¡¡was¡¡a¡¡fixed¡¡gulf¡£¡¡¡¡Flaming¡¡cherubim¡¡warded

her¡¡from¡¡the¡¡gates¡¡of¡¡her¡¡lost¡¡paradise¡£¡¡¡¡In¡¡one

evening£»¡¡by¡¡the¡¡aid¡¡of¡¡Binkley¡¡and¡¡Mumm£»¡¡Bohemia

had¡¡gathered¡¡her¡¡into¡¡its¡¡awful¡¡midst¡£



There¡¡remained¡¡to¡¡her¡¡but¡¡one¡¡thing¡¡¡¡a¡¡life¡¡of

brilliant£»¡¡but¡¡irremediable¡¡error¡£¡¡¡¡Vermont¡¡was¡¡a

shrine¡¡that¡¡she¡¡never¡¡would¡¡dare¡¡to¡¡approach¡¡again¡£

But¡¡she¡¡would¡¡not¡¡sink¡¡¡¡there¡¡were¡¡great¡¡and¡¡com¡­

pelling¡¡ones¡¡in¡¡history¡¡upon¡¡whom¡¡she¡¡would¡¡model

her¡¡meteoric¡¡career¡¡¡¡Camille£»¡¡Lola¡¡Montez£»¡¡Royal

Mary£»¡¡Zaza¡¡¡¡such¡¡a¡¡name¡¡as¡¡one¡¡of¡¡these¡¡would¡¡that

of¡¡Medora¡¡Martin¡¡be¡¡to¡¡future¡¡generations



For¡¡two¡¡days¡¡Medora¡¡kept¡¡her¡¡room¡£¡¡¡¡On¡¡the

third¡¡she¡¡opened¡¡a¡¡magazine¡¡at¡¡the¡¡portrait¡¡of¡¡the

King¡¡of¡¡Belgium£»¡¡and¡¡laughed¡¡sardonically¡£¡¡¡¡If¡¡that

far¡­famed¡¡breaker¡¡of¡¡women's¡¡hearts¡¡should¡¡cross¡¡her

path£»¡¡he¡¡would¡¡have¡¡to¡¡bow¡¡before¡¡her¡¡cold¡¡and¡¡im¡­

perious¡¡beauty¡£¡¡¡¡She¡¡would¡¡not¡¡spare¡¡the¡¡old¡¡or

the¡¡young¡£¡¡¡¡All¡¡America¡¡¡¡all¡¡Europe¡¡should¡¡do

homage¡¡to¡¡her¡¡sinister£»¡¡but¡¡compelling¡¡charm¡£



As¡¡yet¡¡she¡¡could¡¡not¡¡bear¡¡to¡¡think¡¡of¡¡the¡¡life¡¡she

had¡¡once¡¡desired¡¡¡¡a¡¡peaceful¡¡one¡¡in¡¡the¡¡shadow¡¡of

the¡¡Green¡¡Mountains¡¡with¡¡Beriah¡¡at¡¡her¡¡side£»¡¡and

orders¡¡for¡¡expensive¡¡oil¡¡paintings¡¡coming¡¡in¡¡by¡¡each

mail¡¡from¡¡New¡¡York¡£¡¡¡¡Her¡¡one¡¡fatal¡¡misstep¡¡had

shattered¡¡that¡¡dream¡£



On¡¡the¡¡fourth¡¡day¡¡Medora¡¡powdered¡¡her¡¡face¡¡and

rouged¡¡her¡¡lips¡£¡¡¡¡Once¡¡she¡¡had¡¡seen¡¡Carter¡¡in

¡¨Zaza¡£¡¨¡¡¡¡She¡¡stood¡¡before¡¡the¡¡mirror¡¡in¡¡a¡¡reckless

attitude¡¡and¡¡cried£º¡¡¡¨Zut£¡¡¡zut£¡¡¨¡¡¡¡She¡¡rhymed¡¡it

with¡¡¡¨nut£»¡¨¡¡but¡¡with¡¡the¡¡lawless¡¡word¡¡Harmony

seemed¡¡to¡¡pass¡¡away¡¡forever¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡Vortex¡¡had¡¡her¡£

She¡¡belonged¡¡to¡¡Bohemia¡¡for¡¡evermore¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡never

would¡¡Beriah¡¡



The¡¡door¡¡opened¡¡and¡¡Beriah¡¡walked¡¡in¡£



¡¨'Dory£»¡¨¡¡said¡¡he£»¡¡¡¨what's¡¡all¡¡that¡¡chalk¡¡and¡¡pink

stuff¡¡on¡¡your¡¡face£»¡¡honey£¿



Medora¡¡extended¡¡an¡¡arm¡£



¡¨Too¡¡late£»¡¨¡¡she¡¡said£»¡¡solemnly¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡die¡¡is¡¡cast¡£

I¡¡belong¡¡in¡¡another¡¡world¡£¡¡¡¡Curse¡¡me¡¡if¡¡you¡¡will¡¡

it¡¡is¡¡your¡¡right¡£¡¡Go£»¡¡and¡¡leave¡¡me¡¡in¡¡the¡¡path¡¡I

have¡¡chosen¡£¡¡¡¡Bid¡¡them¡¡all¡¡at¡¡home¡¡never¡¡to¡¡men¡­

tion¡¡my¡¡name¡¡again¡£¡¡¡¡And¡¡sometimes£»¡¡Beriah£»¡¡pray

for¡¡me¡¡when¡¡I¡¡am¡¡revelling¡¡in¡¡the¡¡gaudy£»¡¡but¡¡hol¡­

low£»¡¡pleasures¡¡of¡¡Bohemia¡£¡¨



¡¨Get¡¡a¡¡towel£»¡¡'Dory£»¡¨¡¡said¡¡Beriah£»¡¡¡¡¡¨and¡¡wipe

that¡¡paint¡¡off¡¡your¡¡face¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡came¡¡as¡¡soon¡¡as¡¡I¡¡got

your¡¡letter¡£¡¡¡¡Them¡¡pictures¡¡of¡¡yours¡¡ain't¡¡amount¡­

ing¡¡to¡¡anything¡£¡¡¡¡I've¡¡got¡¡tickets¡¡for¡¡both¡¡of¡¡us

back¡¡on¡¡the¡¡evening¡¡train¡£¡¡¡¡Hurry¡¡and¡¡get¡¡your

things¡¡in¡¡your¡¡trunk¡£¡¨



¡¨Fate¡¡was¡¡too¡¡strong¡¡for¡¡me£»¡¡Beriah¡£¡¡¡¡Go¡¡while

I¡¡am¡¡strong¡¡to¡¡bear¡¡it¡£¡¨



¡¨How¡¡do¡¡you¡¡fold¡¡this¡¡easel£»¡¡'Dory£¿¡¡¡¡now¡¡begin

to¡¡pack£»¡¡so¡¡we¡¡have¡¡time¡¡to¡¡eat¡¡before¡¡train¡¡time¡£

The¡¡maples¡¡is¡¡all¡¡out¡¡in¡¡full¡­grown¡¡leaves£»¡¡'Dory¡¡

you¡¡just¡¡ought¡¡to¡¡see¡¡'em£¡



¡¨Not¡¡this¡¡early£»¡¡Beriah£¿



¡¨You¡¡ought¡¡to¡¡see¡¡'em£»¡¡'Dory£»¡¡they're¡¡like¡¡an

ocean¡¡of¡¡green¡¡in¡¡the¡¡morning¡¡sunlight¡£¡¨



¡¨Oh£»¡¡Beriah£¡¡¨



On¡¡the¡¡train¡¡she¡¡said¡¡to¡¡him¡¡suddenly£º



¡¨I¡¡wonder¡¡why¡¡you¡¡came¡¡when¡¡you¡¡got¡¡my¡¡let¡­

ter¡£¡¨



¡¨Oh£»¡¡shucks£¡¡¡¡¨¡¡said¡¡Beriah¡£¡¡¡¡¡¨Did¡¡you¡¡think¡¡you

could¡¡fool¡¡me£¿¡¡¡¡How¡¡could¡¡you¡¡be¡¡run¡¡away¡¡to¡¡that

Bohemia¡¡country¡¡like¡¡you¡¡said¡¡when¡¡your¡¡letter¡¡was

postmarked¡¡New¡¡York¡¡as¡¡plain¡¡as¡¡day£¿¡¨











A¡¡PHILISTINE¡¡IN¡¡BOHEMIA





George¡¡Washington£»¡¡with¡¡his¡¡right¡¡arm¡¡up¡­

raised£»¡¡sits¡¡his¡¡iron¡¡horse¡¡at¡¡the¡¡lower¡¡corner¡¡of

Union¡¡Square£»¡¡forever¡¡signaling¡¡the¡¡Broadway¡¡cars

to¡¡stop¡¡as¡¡they¡¡round¡¡the¡¡curve¡¡into¡¡Fourteenth

Street¡£¡¡¡¡But¡¡the¡¡cars¡¡buzz¡¡on£»¡¡heedless£»¡¡as¡¡they¡¡do¡¡at

the¡¡beck¡¡of¡¡a¡¡private¡¡citizen£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡great¡¡General

must¡¡feel£»¡¡unless¡¡his¡¡nerves¡¡are¡¡iron£»¡¡that¡¡rapid¡¡tran¡­

sit¡¡gloria¡¡mundi¡£



Should¡¡the¡¡General¡¡raise¡¡his¡¡left¡¡hand¡¡as¡¡he¡¡has

raised¡¡his¡¡right¡¡it¡¡would¡¡point¡¡to¡¡a¡¡quarter¡¡of¡¡the

city¡¡that¡¡forms¡¡a¡¡haven¡¡for¡¡the¡¡oppressed¡¡and¡¡sup¡­

presse
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