tales and fantasies- 第4部分

Maria　with　her　smelling…salts；　his　father　sitting　spectacled

and　critical；　and　at　once　he　was　struck　with　indignation；　not

unjustly。　　It　was　inhuman　to　go　off　to　church；　and　leave　a

sinner　in　suspense；　unpunished；　unforgiven。　　And　at　the　very

touch　of　criticism；　the　paternal　sanctity　was　lessened；　yet

the　paternal　terror　only　grew；　and　the　two　strands　of　feeling

pushed　him　in　the　same　direction。



And　suddenly　there　came　upon　him　a　mad　fear　lest　his　father

should　have　locked　him　in。　　The　notion　had　no　ground　in

sense；　it　was　probably　no　more　than　a　reminiscence　of　similar

calamities　in　childhood；　for　his　father's　room　had　always

been　the　chamber　of　inquisition　and　the　scene　of　punishment；

but　it　stuck　so　rigorously　in　his　mind　that　he　must　instantly

approach　the　door　and　prove　its　untruth。　　As　he　went；　he

struck　upon　a　drawer　left　open　in　the　business　table。　　It　was

the　money…drawer；　a　measure　of　his　father's　disarray：　the

money…drawer　…　perhaps　a　pointing　providence！　　Who　is　to

decide；　when　even　divines　differ　between　a　providence　and　a

temptation？　or　who；　sitting　calmly　under　his　own　vine；　is　to

pass　a　judgment　on　the　doings　of　a　poor；　hunted　dog；

slavishly　afraid；　slavishly　rebellious；　like　John　Nicholson

on　that　particular　Sunday？　　His　hand　was　in　the　drawer；

almost　before　his　mind　had　conceived　the　hope；　and　rising　to

his　new　situation；　he　wrote；　sitting　in　his　father's　chair

and　using　his　father's　blotting…pad；　his　pitiful　apology　and

farewell：…





'MY　DEAR　FATHER；　…　I　have　taken　the　money；　but　I　will　pay　it

back　as　soon　as　I　am　able。　　You　will　never　hear　of　me　again。

I　did　not　mean　any　harm　by　anything；　so　I　hope　you　will　try

and　forgive　me。　　I　wish　you　would　say　good…bye　to　Alexander

and　Maria；　but　not　if　you　don't　want　to。　　I　could　not　wait　to

see　you；　really。　　Please　try　to　forgive　me。　　Your

affectionate　son；



JOHN　NICHOLSON。'





The　coins　abstracted　and　the　missive　written；　he　could　not　be

gone　too　soon　from　the　scene　of　these　transgressions；　and

remembering　how　his　father　had　once　returned　from　church；　on

some　slight　illness；　in　the　middle　of　the　second　psalm；　he

durst　not　even　make　a　packet　of　a　change　of　clothes。　　Attired

as　he　was；　he　slipped　from　the　paternal　doors；　and　found

himself　in　the　cool　spring　air；　the　thin　spring　sunshine；　and

the　great　Sabbath　quiet　of　the　city；　which　was　now　only

pointed　by　the　cawing　of　the　rooks。　　There　was　not　a　soul　in

Randolph　Crescent；　nor　a　soul　in　Queensferry　Street；　in　this

outdoor　privacy　and　the　sense　of　escape；　John　took　heart

again；　and　with　a　pathetic　sense　of　leave…taking；　he　even

ventured　up　the　lane　and　stood　awhile；　a　strange　peri　at　the

gates　of　a　quaint　paradise；　by　the　west　end　of　St。　George's

Church。　　They　were　singing　within；　and　by　a　strange　chance；

the　tune　was　'St。　George's；　Edinburgh；'　which　bears　the　name；

and　was　first　sung　in　the　choir　of　that　church。　　'Who　is　this

King　of　Glory？'　went　the　voices　from　within；　and；　to　John；

this　was　like　the　end　of　all　Christian　observances；　for　he

was　now　to　be　a　wild　man　like　Ishmael；　and　his　life　was　to　be

cast　in　homeless　places　and　with　godless　people。



It　was　thus；　with　no　rising　sense　of　the　adventurous；　but　in

mere　desolation　and　despair；　that　he　turned　his　back　on　his

native　city；　and　set　out　on　foot　for　California；　with　a　more

immediate　eye　to　Glasgow。







CHAPTER　IV　…　THE　SECOND　SOWING







IT　is　no　part　of　mine　to　narrate　the　adventures　of　John

Nicholson；　which　were　many；　but　simply　his　more　momentous

misadventures；　which　were　more　than　he　desired；　and；　by　human

standards；　more　than　he　deserved；　how　he　reached　California；

how　he　was　rooked；　and　robbed；　and　beaten；　and　starved；　how

he　was　at　last　taken　up　by　charitable　folk；　restored　to　some

degree　of　self…complacency；　and　installed　as　a　clerk　in　a

bank　in　San　Francisco；　it　would　take　too　long　to　tell；　nor　in

these　episodes　were　there　any　marks　of　the　peculiar

Nicholsonic　destiny；　for　they　were　just　such　matters　as

befell　some　thousands　of　other　young　adventurers　in　the　same

days　and　places。　　But　once　posted　in　the　bank；　he　fell　for　a

time　into　a　high　degree　of　good　fortune；　which；　as　it　was

only　a　longer　way　about　to　fresh　disaster；　it　behooves　me　to

explain。



It　was　his　luck　to　meet　a　young　man　in　what　is　technically

called　a　'dive；'　and　thanks　to　his　monthly　wages；　to

extricate　this　new　acquaintance　from　a　position　of　present

disgrace　and　possible　danger　in　the　future。　　This　young　man

was　the　nephew　of　one　of　the　Nob　Hill　magnates；　who　run　the

San　Francisco　Stock　Exchange；　much　as　more　humble

adventurers；　in　the　corner　of　some　public　park　at　home；　may

be　seen　to　perform　the　simple　artifice　of　pea　and　thimble：

for　their　own　profit；　that　is　to　say；　and　the　discouragement

of　public　gambling。　　It　was　thus　in　his　power　…　and；　as　he

was　of　grateful　temper；　it　was　among　the　things　that　he

desired　…　to　put　John　in　the　way　of　growing　rich；　and　thus；

without　thought　or　industry；　or　so　much　as　even　understanding

the　game　at　which　he　played；　but　by　simply　buying　and　selling

what　he　was　told　to　buy　and　sell；　that　plaything　of　fortune

was　presently　at　the　head　of　between　eleven　and　twelve

thousand　pounds；　or；　as　he　reckoned　it；　of　upward　of　sixty

thousand　dollars。



How　he　had　come　to　deserve　this　wealth；　any　more　than　how　he

had　formerly　earned　disgrace　at　home；　was　a　problem　beyond

the　reach　of　his　philosophy。　　It　was　true　that　he　had　been

industrious　at　the　bank；　but　no　more　so　than　the　cashier；　who

had　seven　small　children　and　was　visibly　sinking　in　decline。

Nor　was　the　step　which　had　determined　his　advance　…　a　visit

to　a　dive　with　a　month's　wages　in　his　pocket　…　an　act　of　such

transcendent　virtue；　or　even　wisdom；　as　to　seem　to　merit　the

favour　of　the　gods。　　From　some　sense　of　this；　and　of　the

dizzy　see…saw　…　heaven…high；　hell…deep　…　on　which　men　sit

clutching；　or　perhaps　fearing　that　the　sources　of　his　fortune

might　be　insidiously　traced　to　some　root　in　the　field　of

petty　cash；　he　stuck　to　his　work；　said　not　a　word　of　his　new

circumstances；　and　kept　his　account　with　a　bank　in　a

different　quarter　of　the　town。　　The　concealment；　innocent　as

it　seems；　was　the　first　step　in　the　second　tragicomedy　of

John's　existence。



Meanwhile；　he　had　never　written　home。　　Whether　from

diffidence　or　shame；　or　a　touch　of　anger；　or　mere

procrastination；　or　because　（as　we　have　seen）　he　had　no　skill

in　literary　arts；　or　because　（as　I　am　sometimes　tempted　to

suppose）　there　is　a　law　in　human　nature　that　prevents　young

men　…　not　otherwise　beasts　…　from　the　performance　of　this

simple　act　of　piety　…　months　and　years　had　gone　by；　and　John

had　never　written。　　The　habit　of　not　writing；　indeed；　was

already　fixed　before　he　had　begun　to　come　into　his　fortune；

and　it　was　only　the　difficulty　of　breaking　this　long　silence

that　withheld　him　from　an　instant　restitution　of　the　money　he

had　stolen　or　（as　he　preferred　to　call　it）　borrowed。　　In　vain

he　sat　before　paper；　attending　on　inspiration；　that　heavenly

nymph；　beyond　suggesting　the　words　'my　dear　father；'　remained

obstinately　silent；　and　presently　John　would　crumple　up　the

sheet　and　decide；　as　soon　as　he　had　'a　good　chance；'　to　carry

the　money　home　in　person。　　And　this　delay；　which　is

indefensible；　was　his　second　step　into　the　snares　of　fortune。



Ten　years　had　passed；　and　John　was　drawing　near　to　thirty。

He　had　kept　the　promise　of　his　boyhood；　and　was　now　of　a

lusty　frame；　verging　toward　corpulence；　good　features；　good

eyes；　a　genial　manner；　a　ready　laugh；　a　long　pair　of　sandy

whiskers；　a　dash　of　an　American　accent；　a　close　familiarity

with　the　great　American　joke；　and　a　certain　likeness　to　a　R…

y…l　P…rs…n…ge；　who　shall　remain　nameless　for　me；　made　up　the

man's　externals　as　he　could　be　viewed　in　society。　　Inwardly；

in　spite　of　his　gross　body　and　highly　masculine　whiskers；　he

was　more　like　a　maiden　lady　than　a　man　of　twenty…nine。



It　chanced　one　day；　as　he　was　strolling　down　Market　Street　on

the　eve　of　his　fortnight's　holiday；　that　his　eye　was　caught

by　certain　railway　bills；　and　in　very　idleness　of　mind　he

calculated　that　he　might　be　home　for　Christmas　if　he　started

on　the　morrow。　　The　fancy　thrilled　him　with　desire；　and　in

one　moment　he　decided　he　would　go。



There　was　much　to　be　done：　his　portmanteau　to　be　packed；　a

credit　to　be　got　from　the　bank　where　he　was　a　wealthy

customer；　and　certain　offices　to　be　transacted　for　that　other

bank　in　which　he　was　an　humble　clerk；　and　it　chanced；　in

conformity　with　human　nature；　that　out　of　all　this　business

it　was　the　last　that　came　to　be　neglected。　　Night　found　him；

not　only　equipped　with　money　of　his　own；　but　once　more　（as　on

that　former　occasion）　saddled　with　a　considerable　sum　of

other　people's。



Now　it　chanced　there　lived　in　the　same　boarding…house　a

fellow…clerk　of　his；　an　honest　fellow；　with　what　is　called　a

weakness　for　drink　…　though　it　might；　in　this　case；　have　been

called　a　strength；　for　the　victim　had　been　drunk　for　weeks

together　without　the　briefest　intermission。　　To　this

unfortunate　John　intrusted　a　letter　with　an　inclosure　of

bonds；　addressed　to　the　bank　manager。　　Even　as　he　did　so　he

thought　he　perceived　a　certain　haziness　of　eye　and　speech　in

his　trustee；　but　he　was　too　hopeful　to　be　stayed；　silenced

the　voice　of　warning　in　his　bosom；　and　with　one　and　the　same

gesture　committed　the　money　to　the　clerk；　and　himself　into

the　hands　of　destiny。



I　dwell；　even　at　the　risk　of　tedium；　on　John's　minutest

errors；　his　case　being　so　perplexing　to　the　moralist；　but　we

have　done　with　them　now；　the　roll　is　closed；　the　reader　has

the　worst　of　our　poor　hero；　and　I　leave　him　to　judge　for

himself　whether　he　or　John　has　been　the　less　deserving。

Henceforth　we　have　to　follow　the　spectacle　of　a　man　who　was　a

mere　whip…top　for　calamity；　on　whose　unmerited　misadventures

not　ev