call。〃
〃I'll tell you； take me to see him directly。 He won't hate us
forever； if he sees us often。 We may as well begin at once。
Nobody hates me long。〃
Christopher was proud of his wife's courage and wisdom。 He kissed
her； begged her to put on the plainest dress she could； and they
went together to call on Uncle Philip。
When they got to his house in Gloucester Place； Portman Square；
Rosa's heart began to quake； and she was right glad when the
servant said 〃Not at home。〃
They left their cards and address； and she persuaded Christopher to
take her to the sale…room to see the things。
A lot of brokers were there； like vultures； and one after another
stepped forward and pestered them to employ him in the morning。
Dr。 Staines declined their services civilly but firmly； and he and
Rosa looked over a quantity of furniture； and settled what sort of
things to buy。
Another broker came up； and whenever the couple stopped before an
article； proceeded to praise it as something most extraordinary。
Staines listened in cold； satirical silence； and told his wife； in
French； to do the same。 Notwithstanding their marked disgust； the
impudent； intrusive fellow stuck to them； and forced his venal
criticism on them； and made them uncomfortable； and shortened their
tour of observation。
〃I think I shall come with you to…morrow；〃 said Christopher； 〃or I
shall have these blackguards pestering you。〃
〃Oh； Florry will send them to the right…about。 She is as brave as
a lion。〃
Next day Dr。 Staines was sent for into the City at twelve to pay
the money and receive the lease of the Bijou； and this and the
taking possession occupied him till four o'clock； when he came to
his hotel。
Meantime； his wife and Mrs。 Cole had gone to the auction…room。
It was a large room； with a good sprinkling of people； but not
crowded except about the table。 At the head of this tablefull
twenty feet longwas the auctioneer's pulpit； and the lots were
brought in turn to the other end of the table for sight and sale。
〃We must try and get a seat；〃 said the enterprising Mrs。 Cole； and
pushed boldly in； the timid Rosa followed strictly in her wake； and
so evaded the human waves her leader clove。 They were importuned
at every step by brokers thrusting catalogues on them； with offers
of their services； yet they soon got to the table。 A gentleman
resigned one chair； a broker another； and they were seated。
Mrs。 Staines let down half her veil； but Mrs。 Cole surveyed the
company point…blank。
The broker who had given up his seat； and now stood behind Rosa；
offered her his catalogue。 〃No； thank you；〃 said Rosa； 〃I have
one；〃 and she produced it； and studied it； yet managed to look
furtively at the company。
There were not above a dozen private persons visible from where
Rosa sat； perhaps as many more in the whole room。 They were easily
distinguishable by their cleanly appearance： the dealers； male or
female； were more or less rusty； greasy； dirty； aquiline。 Not even
the amateurs were brightly dressed； that fundamental error was
confined to Mesdames Cole and Staines。 The experienced； however
wealthy； do not hunt bargains in silk and satin。
The auctioneer called 〃Lot 7。 Four saucepans； two trays； a kettle；
a bootjack； and a towel…horse。〃
These were put up at two shillings； and speedily knocked down for
five to a fat old woman in a greasy velvet jacket； blind industry
had sewed bugles on it； not artfully； but agriculturally。
〃The lady on the left！〃 said the auctioneer to his clerk。 That
meant 〃Get the money。〃
The old lady plunged a huge paw into a huge pocket； and pulled out
a huge handful of coincopper； silver； and goldand paid for the
lot； and Rosa surveyed her dirty hands and nails with innocent
dismay。 〃Oh； what a dreadful creature！〃 she whispered； 〃and what
can she want with those old rubbishy things？ I saw a hole in one
from here。〃 The broker overheard； and said； 〃She is a dealer；
ma'am； and the things were given away。 She'll sell them for a
guinea； easy。〃
〃Didn't I tell you？〃 said Mrs。 Cole。
Soon after this the superior lots came on； and six very neat
bedroom chairs were sold to all appearance for fifteen shillings。
The next lot was identical； and Rosa hazarded a bid；〃Sixteen
shillings。〃
Instantly some dealer； one of the hook…nosed that gathered round
each lot as it came to the foot of the table； cried 〃Eighteen
shillings。〃
〃Nineteen；〃 said Rosa。
〃A guinea；〃 said the dealer。
〃Don't let it go；〃 said the broker behind her。 〃Don't let it go；
ma'am。〃
She colored at the intrusion； and left off bidding directly； and
addressed herself to Mrs。 Cole。 〃Why should I give so much； when
the last were sold for fifteen shillings？〃
The real reason was that the first lot was not bid for at all；
except by the proprietor。 However； the broker gave her a very
different solution； he said； 〃The trade always run up a lady or a
gentleman。 Let me bid for you； they won't run me up； they know
better。〃
Rosa did not reply； but looked at Mrs。 Cole。
〃Yes； dear；〃 said that lady； 〃you had much better let him bid for
you。〃
〃Very well；〃 said Rosa； 〃you can bid for this chest of drawerslot
25。〃
When lot 25 came on； the broker bid in the silliest possible way；
if his object had been to get a bargain。 He began to bid early and
ostentatiously； the article was protected by somebody or other
there present； who now of course saw his way clear； he ran it up
audaciously； and it was purchased for Rosa at about the price it
could have been bought for at a shop。
The next thing she wanted was a set of oak chairs。
They went up to twenty…eight pounds； then she said； 〃I shall give
no more； sir。〃
〃Better not lose them；〃 said the agent； 〃they are a great bargain；〃
and bid another pound for her on his own responsibility。
They were still run up； and Rosa peremptorily refused to give any
more。 She lost them； accordingly； by good luck。 Her faithful
broker looked blank； so did the proprietor。
But； as the sale proceeded； she being young； the competition；
though most of it sham； being artful and exciting； and the traitor
she employed constantly puffing every article； she was drawn in to
wishing for things； and bidding by her feelings。
Then her traitor played a game that has been played a hundred
times； and the perpetrators never once lynched； as they ought to
be； on the spot。 He signalled a confederate with a hooked nose；
the Jew rascal bid against the Christian scoundrel； and so they ran
up the more enticing things to twice their value under the hammer。
Rosa got flushed； and her eye gleamed like a gambler's； and she
bought away like wildfire。 In which sport she caught sight of an
old gentleman； with little black eyes that kept twinkling at her。
She complained of these eyes to Mrs。 Cole。 〃Why does he twinkle
so？ I can see it is at me。 I am doing something foolishI know I
am。〃
Mrs。 Cole turned； and fixed a haughty stare on the old gentleman。
Would you believe it？ instead of sinking through the floor； he sat
his ground； and retorted with a cold； clear grin。
But now； whenever Rosa's agent bid for her； and the other man of
straw against him； the black eyes twinkled； and Rosa's courage
began to ooze away。 At last she said； 〃That is enough for one day。
I shall go。 Who could bear those eyes？〃
The broker took her address； so did the auctioneer's clerk。 The
auctioneer asked her for no deposit； her beautiful； innocent； and
high…bred face was enough for a man who was always reading faces；
and interpreting them。
And so they retired。
But this charming sex is like that same auctioneer's hammer； it
cannot go abruptly。 It is always goinggoinggoinga long time
before it is gone。 I think it would perhaps loiter at the door of
a jail； with the order of release in its hand； after six years'
confinement。 Getting up to go quenches in it the desire to go。 So
these ladies having got up to go； turned and lingered； and hung
fire so long； that at last another set of oak chairs came up。 〃Oh！
I must see what these go for；〃 said Rosa； at the door。
The bidding was mighty languid now Rosa's broker was not
stimulating it； and the auctioneer was just knocking down twelve
chairsoak and leatherand two arm…chairs； for twenty pounds；
when； casting his eyes around； he caught sight of Rosa looking at
him rather excited。 He looked inquiringly at her。 She nodded
slightly； he knocked them down to her at twenty guineas； and they
were really a great bargain。
〃Twenty…two；〃 cried the dealer。
〃Too late；〃 said the auctioneer。
〃I spoke with the hammer； sir。〃
〃After the hammer； Isaacs。〃
〃Shelp me God； we was together。〃
One or two more of his tribe confirmed this pious falsehood； and
clamored to have them put up again。
〃Call the next lot；〃 said the auctioneer； peremptorily。 〃Make up
your mind a little quicker next time； Mr。 Isaacs； you have been
long enough at it to know the value of oak and moroccar。〃
Mrs。 Staines and her friend now started for Morley's Hotel； but
went round by Regent Street； whereby they got glued at Peter
Robinson's window； and nine other windows； and it was nearly five
o'clock when they reached Morley's。 As they came near the door of
their sitting…room； Mrs。 Staines heard somebody laughing and
talking to her husband。 The laugh； to her subtle ears； did not
sound musical and genial； but keen； satirical； unpleasant； so it
was with some timidity she opened the door； and there sat the old
chap with the twinkling eyes。 Both parties stared at each other a
moment。
〃Why； it is them；〃 cried the old gentleman。 〃Ha！ ha！ ha！ ha！ ha！〃
Rosa colored all over； and felt guilty somehow； and looked
miserable。
〃Rosa dear；〃 said Dr。 Staines； 〃this is our Uncle Philip。〃
〃Oh！〃 said Rosa； and turned red and pale by turns； for she had a
great desire to propitiate Uncle Philip。
〃You were in the auction…room； sir？〃 said Mrs。 Cole； severely。
〃I was； madam。 He！ he！〃
〃Furnishing a house？〃
〃No； ma'am。 I go to a dozen sales a week； but it is not to buyI
enjoy the humors。 Did you ever hear of Robert Burton； ma'am？〃
〃No。 Yes； a great traveller； isn't he？ Discovered the Nileor
the Ni