《a simpleton》

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a simpleton- 第30部分


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composition?〃

〃I'd rather do the work fifty times over myself。〃

〃Hush! people will hear you。〃

When they walked home after church; Staines tried to divert her
from the consideration of her wrongs; but noall other topics were
too flat by comparison。

She mourned the hard fate of mistressesunfortunate creatures that
could not do without servants。

〃Is not that a confession that servants are good; useful creatures;
with all their faults?  Then as to the mania for dress; why; that
is not confined to them。  It is the mania of the sex。  Are you free
from it?〃

〃No; of course not。  But I am a lady; if you please。〃

〃Then she is your intellectual inferior; and more excusable。
Anyway; it is wise to connive at a thing we can't help。〃

〃What keep her; after this? no; never。〃

〃My dear; pray do not send her away; for she is tidy in the house;
and quick; and better than any one we have had this last six
months; and you know you have tried a great number。〃

〃To hear you speak; one would think it was my fault that we have so
many bad servants。〃

〃I never said it was your fault; but I THINK; dearest; a little
more forbearance in trifles〃

〃Trifles! triflesfor a mistress and maid to be seen dressed alike
in the same church?  You take the servants' part against me; that
you do。〃

〃You should not say that; even in jest。  Come now; do you really
think a jacket like yours can make the servant look like you; or
detract from your grace and beauty?  There is a very simple way;
put your jacket by for a future occasion; and wear something else
in its stead at church。〃

〃A nice thing; indeed; to give in to these creatures。  I won't do
it。〃

〃Why won't you; this once?〃

〃Because I won'tthere!〃

〃That is unanswerable;〃 said he。

Mrs。 Staines said that; but when it came to acting; she deferred to
her husband's wish; she resigned her intention of sending for Clara
and giving her warning。  On the contrary; when Clara let her in;
and the white jackets rubbed together in the narrow passage; she
actually said nothing; but stalked to her own room; and tore her
jacket off; and flung it on the floor。

Unfortunately; she was so long dressing for the Zoo; that Clara
came in to arrange the room。  She picks up the white jacket; takes
it in both hands; gives it a flap; and proceeds to hang it up in
the wardrobe。

Then the great feminine heart burst its bounds。

〃You can leave that alone。  I shall not wear that again。〃

Thereupon ensued an uneven encounter; Clara being one of those of
whom the Scripture says; 〃The poison of asps is under their
tongues。〃

〃La; ma'am;〃 said she; 〃why; 'tain't so very dirty。〃

〃No; but it is too common。〃

〃Oh; because I've got one like it。  Ay。  Missises can't abide a
good…looking servant; nor to see 'em dressed becoming。〃

〃Mistresses do not like servants to forget their place; nor wear
what does not become their situation。〃

〃My situation!  Why; I can pay my way; go where I will。  I don't
tremble at the tradesmen's knock; as some do。〃

〃Leave the room!  Leave it this moment。〃

〃Leave the room; yesand I'll leave the house too; and tell all
the neighbors what I know about it。〃

She flounced out and slammed the door; and Rosa sat down;
trembling。

Clara rushed to the kitchen; and there told the cook and Andrew
Pearman how she had given it to the mistress; and every word she
had said to her; with a good many more she had not。

The cook laughed and encouraged her。

But Andrew Pearman was wroth; and said; 〃You to affront our
mistress like that!  Why; if I had heard you; I'd have twisted your
neck for ye。〃

〃It would take a better man than you to do that。  You mind your own
business。  Stick to your one…horse chay。〃

〃Well; I'm not above my place; for that matter。  But you gals must
always be aping your betters。〃

〃I have got a proper pride; that is all; and you haven't。  You
ought to be ashamed of yourself to do two men's work; drive a
brougham and wait on a horse; and then come in and wait at table;
You are a tea…kettle groom; that is what you are。  Why; my brother
was coachman to Lord Fitz…James; and gave his lordship notice the
first time he had to drive the children。  Says he; 'I don't object
to the children; my lord; but with her ladyship in the carriage。'
It's such servants as you as spoil places。  No servant as knows
what's due to a servant ought to know you。  They'd scorn your
'quaintance; as I do; Mr。 Pearman。〃

〃You are a stuck…up hussy; and a soldier's jade;〃 roared Andrew。

〃And you are a low tea…kettle groom。〃

This expression wounded the great equestrian soul to the quick; the
rest of Sunday he pondered on it; the next morning he drove the
doctor; as usual; but with a heavy heart。

Meantime; the cook made haste and told the baker Pearman had 〃got
it hot〃 from the housemaid; and she had called him a tea…kettle
groom; and in less than half an hour after that it was in every
stable in the mews。  Why; as Pearman was taking the horse out of
the brougham; didn't two little red…headed urchins call out; 〃Here;
come and see the tea…kettle groom!〃 and at night some mischievous
boy chalked on the black door of the stable a large white tea…
kettle; and next morning a drunken; idle fellow; with a clay pipe
in his mouth; and a dirty pair of corduroy trousers; no coat; but a
shirt very open at the chest; showing inflamed skin; the effect of
drink; inspected that work of art with blinking eyes and
vacillating toes; and said; 〃This comes of a chap doing too much。
A few more like you; and work would be scarce。  A fine thing for
gentlefolks to make one man fill two places! but it ain't the
gentlefolks' fault; it's the man as humors 'em。〃

Pearman was a peaceable man; and made no reply; but went on with
his work; only during the day he told his master that he should be
obliged to him if he would fill his situation as soon as
convenient。

The master inquired the cause; and the man told him; and said the
mews was too hot for him。

The doctor offered him five pounds a year more; knowing he had a
treasure; but Pearman said; with sadness and firmness; that he had
made up his mind to go; and go he would。

The doctor's heart fairly sank at the prospect of losing the one
creature he could depend upon。

Next Sunday evening Clara was out; and fell in with friends; to
whom she exaggerated her grievance。

Then they worked her up to fury; after the manner of servants'
FRIENDS。  She came home; packed her box; brought it down; and then
flounced into the room to Doctor and Mrs。 Staines; and said; 〃I
shan't sleep another night in this house。〃

Rosa was about to speak; but Dr。 Staines forbade her: he said; 〃You
had better think twice of that。  You are a good servant; though for
once you have been betrayed into speaking disrespectfully。  Why
forfeit your character; and three weeks' wages?〃

〃I don't care for my wages。  I won't stay in such a house as this。〃

〃Come; you must not be impertinent。〃

〃I don't mean to; sir;〃 said she; lowering her voice suddenly;
then; raising it as suddenly; 〃There are my keys; ma'am; and you
can search my box。〃

〃Mrs。 Staines will not search your box; and you will retire at once
to your own part of the house。〃

〃I'll go farther than that;〃 said she; and soon after the street
door was slammed; the Bijou shook。

At six o'clock next morning; she came for her box。  It had been put
away for safety。  Pearman told her she must wait till the doctor
came down。  She did not wait; but went at eleven A。M。 to a police…
magistrate; and took out a summons against Dr。 Staines; for
detaining a box containing certain articles specifiedvalue under
fifteen pounds。

When Dr。 Staines heard she had been for her box; but left no
address; he sent Pearman to hunt for her。  He could not find her。
She avoided the house; but sent a woman for her diurnal love
letters。  Dr。 Staines sent the woman back to fetch her。  She came;
received her box; her letters; and the balance of her wages; which
was small; for Staines deducted the three weeks' wages。

Two days afterwards; to his surprise; the summons was served。

Out of respect for a court of justice; however humble; Dr。 Staines
attended next Monday to meet the summons。

The magistrate was an elderly man; with a face shaped like a hog's;
but much richer in color; being purple and pimply; so foul a visage
Staines had rarely seen; even in the lowest class of the community。

Clara swore that her box had been opened; and certain things stolen
out of it; and that she had been refused the box next morning。

Staines swore that he had never opened the box; and that; if any
one else had; it was with her consent; for she had left the keys
for that purpose。  He bade the magistrate observe that if a servant
went away like this; and left no address; she put it out of the
master's POWER to send her box after her; and he proved he had some
trouble to force the box on her。

The pig…faced beak showed a manifest leaning towards the servant;
but there wasn't a leg to stand on; and he did not believe; nor was
it credible; that anything had been stolen out of her box。

At this moment; Pearman; sent by Rosa; entered the court with an
old gown of Clara's that had been discovered in the scullery; and a
scribbling…book of the doctor's; which Clara had appropriated; and
written amorous verses in; very superiorin numberto those that
have come down to us from Anacreon。

〃Hand me those;〃 said the pig…faced beak。

〃What are they; Dr。 Staines?〃

〃I really don't know。  I must ask my servant。〃

〃Why; more things of mine that have been detained;〃 said Clara。

〃Some things that have been found since she left;〃 said Staines。

〃Oh! those that hide know where to find。〃

〃Young woman;〃 said Staines; 〃do not insult those whose bread you
have eaten; and who have given you many presents besides your
wages。  Since you are so ready to accuse people of stealing; permit
me to say that this book is mine; and not yours; and yet; you see;
it is sent after you because you have written your trash in it。〃

The purple; pig…faced beak went instantly out of the record; and
wasted a deal of time reading Clara's poetry; and trying to be
witty。  He
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