don¡¡the¡¡weakness¡¡of¡¡maternal¡¡affection¡¡even¡¡when£»¡¡by¡¡the¡¡death¡¡of¡¡two¡¡brothers£»¡¡I¡¡came¡¡to¡¡be¡¡the¡¡only¡¡child¡¡of¡¡a¡¡widowed¡¡parent¡£¡¡¡¡At¡¡the¡¡time¡¡my¡¡disorderly¡¡conduct¡¡induced¡¡my¡¡mother¡¡to¡¡leave¡¡Glentanner£»¡¡and¡¡retreat¡¡to¡¡her¡¡jointure¡house£»¡¡I¡¡always¡¡blamed¡¡Christie¡¡Steele¡¡for¡¡having¡¡influenced¡¡her¡¡resentment¡¡and¡¡prevented¡¡her¡¡from¡¡listening¡¡to¡¡my¡¡vows¡¡of¡¡amendment£»¡¡which¡¡at¡¡times¡¡were¡¡real¡¡and¡¡serious£»¡¡and¡¡might£»¡¡perhaps£»¡¡have¡¡accelerated¡¡that¡¡change¡¡of¡¡disposition¡¡which¡¡has¡¡since£»¡¡I¡¡trust£»¡¡taken¡¡place¡£¡¡But¡¡Christie¡¡regarded¡¡me¡¡as¡¡altogether¡¡a¡¡doomed¡¡and¡¡predestinated¡¡child¡¡of¡¡perdition£»¡¡who¡¡was¡¡sure¡¡to¡¡hold¡¡on¡¡my¡¡course£»¡¡and¡¡drag¡¡downwards¡¡whosoever¡¡might¡¡attempt¡¡to¡¡afford¡¡me¡¡support¡£
Still£»¡¡though¡¡I¡¡knew¡¡such¡¡had¡¡been¡¡Christie's¡¡prejudices¡¡against¡¡me¡¡in¡¡other¡¡days£»¡¡yet¡¡I¡¡thought¡¡enough¡¡of¡¡time¡¡had¡¡since¡¡passed¡¡away¡¡to¡¡destroy¡¡all¡¡of¡¡them¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡knew¡¡that¡¡when£»¡¡through¡¡the¡¡disorder¡¡of¡¡my¡¡affairs£»¡¡my¡¡mother¡¡underwent¡¡some¡¡temporary¡¡inconvenience¡¡about¡¡money¡¡matters£»¡¡Christie£»¡¡as¡¡a¡¡thing¡¡of¡¡course£»¡¡stood¡¡in¡¡the¡¡gap£»¡¡and¡¡having¡¡sold¡¡a¡¡small¡¡inheritance¡¡which¡¡had¡¡descended¡¡to¡¡her£»¡¡brought¡¡the¡¡purchase¡¡money¡¡to¡¡her¡¡mistress£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡sense¡¡of¡¡devotion¡¡as¡¡deep¡¡as¡¡that¡¡which¡¡inspired¡¡the¡¡Christians¡¡of¡¡the¡¡first¡¡age£»¡¡when¡¡they¡¡sold¡¡all¡¡they¡¡had£»¡¡and¡¡followed¡¡the¡¡apostles¡¡of¡¡the¡¡church¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡therefore¡¡thought¡¡that¡¡we¡¡might£»¡¡in¡¡old¡¡Scottish¡¡phrase£»¡¡¡¨let¡¡byganes¡¡be¡¡byganes£»¡¨¡¡and¡¡begin¡¡upon¡¡a¡¡new¡¡account¡£¡¡¡¡Yet¡¡I¡¡resolved£»¡¡like¡¡a¡¡skilful¡¡general£»¡¡to¡¡reconnoitre¡¡a¡¡little¡¡before¡¡laying¡¡down¡¡any¡¡precise¡¡scheme¡¡of¡¡proceeding£»¡¡and¡¡in¡¡the¡¡interim¡¡I¡¡determined¡¡to¡¡preserve¡¡my¡¡incognito¡£
CHAPTER¡¡IV¡£
MR¡£¡¡CROFTANGRY¡¡BIDS¡¡ADIEU¡¡TO¡¡CLYDESDALE¡£
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