tongue has once got the knack of lying； 'tis not to be imagined how
impossible it is to reclaim it whence it comes to pass that we see some；
who are otherwise very honest men； so subject and enslaved to this vice。
I have an honest lad to my tailor； whom I never knew guilty of one truth；
no； not when it had been to his advantage。 If falsehood had； like truth；
but one face only； we should be upon better terms； for we should then
take for certain the contrary to what the liar says： but the reverse of
truth has a hundred thousand forms； and a field indefinite； without bound
or limit。 The Pythagoreans make good to be certain and finite； and evil；
infinite and uncertain。 There are a thousand ways to miss the white；
there is only one to hit it。 For my own part； I have this vice in so
great horror； that I am not sure I could prevail with my conscience to
secure myself from the most manifest and extreme danger by an impudent
and solemn lie。 An ancient father says 〃that a dog we know is better
company than a man whose language we do not understand。〃
〃Ut externus alieno pene non sit hominis vice。〃
＇As a foreigner cannot be said to supply us the place of a man。〃
Pliny； Nat。 Hist。 vii。 I＇
And how much less sociable is false speaking than silence？
King Francis I。 vaunted that he had by this means nonplussed Francesco
Taverna； ambassador of Francesco Sforza； Duke of Milan； a man very famous
for his science in talking in those days。 This gentleman had been sent
to excuse his master to his Majesty about a thing of very great
consequence； which was this： the King； still to maintain some
intelligence with Italy； out of which he had lately been driven； and
particularly with the duchy of Milan； had thought it convenient to have a
gentleman on his behalf to be with that Duke： an ambassador in effect；
but in outward appearance a private person who pretended to reside there
upon his own particular affairs； for the Duke； much more depending upon
the Emperor； especially at a time when he was in a treaty of marriage
with his niece； daughter to the King of Denmark； who is now dowager of
Lorraine； could not manifest any practice and conference with us without
his great interest。 For this commission one Merveille； a Milanese
gentleman； and an equerry to the King； being thought very fit； was
accordingly despatched thither with private credentials； and instructions
as ambassador； and with other letters of recommendation to the Duke about
his own private concerns； the better to mask and colour the business； and
was so long in that court； that the Emperor at last had some inkling of
his real employment there； which was the occasion of what followed after；
as we suppose； which was； that under pretence of some murder； his trial
was in two days despatched； and his head in the night struck off in
prison。 Messire Francesco being come； and prepared with a long
counterfeit history of the affair （for the King had applied himself to
all the princes of Christendom； as well as to the Duke himself； to demand
satisfaction）； had his audience at the morning council； where； after he
had for the support of his cause laid open several plausible
justifications of the fact； that his master had never looked upon this
Merveille for other than a private gentleman and his own subject； who was
there only in order to his own business； neither had he ever lived under
any other aspect； absolutely disowning that he had ever heard he was one
of the King's household or that his Majesty so much as knew him； so far
was he from taking him for an ambassador： the King； in his turn； pressing
him with several objections and demands； and challenging him on all
sides； tripped him up at last by asking； why； then； the execution was
performed by night； and as it were by stealth？ At which the poor
confounded ambassador； the more handsomely to disengage himself； made
answer； that the Duke would have been very loth； out of respect to his
Majesty； that such an execution should have been performed by day。 Any
one may guess if he was not well rated when he came home； for having so
grossly tripped in the presence of a prince of so delicate a nostril as
King Francis。
Pope Julius II。 having sent an ambassador to the King of England to
animate him against King Francis； the ambassador having had his audience；
and the King； before he would give an answer； insisting upon the
difficulties he should find in setting on foot so great a preparation as
would be necessary to attack so potent a King； and urging some reasons to
that effect； the ambassador very unseasonably replied that he had also
himself considered the same difficulties； and had represented them to the
Pope。 From which saying of his； so directly opposite to the thing
propounded and the business he came about； which was immediately to
incite him to war； the King of England first derived the argument （which
he afterward found to be true）； that this ambassador； in his own mind；
was on the side of the French； of which having advertised his master； his
estate at his return home was confiscated； and he himself very narrowly
escaped the losing of his head。 ＇Erasmi Op。 （1703）； iv。 col。 684。＇
CHAPTER X
OF QUICK OR SLOW SPEECH
〃Onc ne furent a touts toutes graces donnees。〃
＇〃All graces were never yet given to any one man。〃A verse
in one of La Brebis' Sonnets。＇
So we see in the gift of eloquence； wherein some have such a facility and
promptness； and that which we call a present wit so easy； that they are
ever ready upon all occasions； and never to be surprised； and others more
heavy and slow； never venture to utter anything but what they have long
premeditated； and taken great care and pains to fit and prepare。
Now； as we teach young ladies those sports and exercises which are most
proper to set out the grace and beauty of those parts wherein their
chiefest ornament and perfection lie； so it should be in these two
advantages of eloquence； to which the lawyers and preachers of our age
seem principally to pretend。 If I were worthy to advise； the slow
speaker； methinks； should be more proper for the pulpit； and the other
for the bar： and that because the employment of the first does naturally
allow him all the leisure he can desire to prepare himself； and besides；
his career is performed in an even and unintermitted line； without stop
or interruption； whereas the pleader's business and interest compels him
to enter the lists upon all occasions； and the unexpected objections and
replies of his adverse party jostle him out of his course； and put him；
upon the instant； to pump for new and extempore answers and defences。
Yet； at the interview betwixt Pope Clement and King Francis at
Marseilles； it happened； quite contrary； that Monsieur Poyet； a man bred
up all his life at the bar； and in the highest repute for eloquence；
having the charge of making the harangue to the Pope committed to him；
and having so long meditated on it beforehand； as； so they said； to have
brought it ready made along with him from Paris； the very day it was to
have been pronounced； the Pope； fearing something might be said that
might give offence to the other princes' ambassadors who were there
attending on him； sent to acquaint the King with the argument which he
conceived most suiting to the time and place； but； by chance； quite
another thing to that Monsieur de Poyet had taken so much pains about： so
that the fine speech he had prepared was of no use； and he was upon the
instant to contrive another； which finding himself unable to do； Cardinal
du Bellay was constrained to perform that office。 The pleader's part is；
doubtless； much harder than that of the preacher； and yet； in my opinion；
we see more passable lawyers than preachers； at all events in France。
It should seem that the nature of wit is to have its operation prompt and
sudden； and that of judgment to have it more deliberate and more slow。
But he who remains totally silent； for want of leisure to prepare himself
to speak well； and he also whom leisure does noways benefit to better
speaking； are equally unhappy。
'Tis said of Severus Cassius that he spoke best extempore； that he stood
more obliged to fortune than to his own diligence； that it was an
advantage to him to be interrupted in speaking； and that his adversaries
were afraid to nettle him； lest his anger should redouble his eloquence。
I know； experimentally； the disposition of nature so impatient of tedious
and elaborate premeditation； that if it do not go frankly and gaily to
work； it can perform nothing to purpose。 We say of some compositions
that they stink of oil and of the lamp； by reason of a certain rough
harshness that laborious handling imprints upon those where it has been
employed。 But besides this； the solicitude of doing well； and a certain
striving and contending of a mind too far strained and overbent upon its
undertaking； breaks and hinders itself like water； that by force of its
own pressing violence and abundance； cannot find a ready issue through
the neck of a bottle or a narrow sluice。 In this condition of nature；
of which I am now speaking； there is this also； that it would not be
disordered and stimulated with such passions as the fury of Cassius （for
such a motion would be too violent and rude）； it would not be jostled；
but solicited； it would be roused and heated by unexpected； sudden； and
accidental occasions。 If it be left to itself； it flags and languishes；
agitation only gives it grace and vigour。 I am always worst in my own
possession； and when wholly at my own disposition： accident has more
title to anything that comes from me than I； occasion； company； and even
the very rising and falling of my own voice； extract more from my fancy
than I can find； when I sound and employ it by myself。 By which means；
the things I say are better than those I write； if either were to be
preferred； where neither is worth anything。 This； also； befalls me； that
I do not find myself where I seek myself； and I light upon things more by
chance than by any inquisition of my own judgment。 I perhaps sometimes
hit upon something when I write； that seems quaint